Tag Archives: PTSD

Daily Prompt; What Are Your Biggest Challenges

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
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I can spend all day listing my challenges as I have so many of them already however I am not going to do that. I will say that my biggest challenges are myself as well as PTSD and Depression.

I am one of my biggest challenges because I can get in the way of myself in many different ways and can prevent myself from accomplishing great things in my community. I get in the way of myself by a lot of negative self talk which isn’t good for anyone especially those like me who have a mental health diagnosis.

Speaking of mental health diagnoses, my own diagnoses are challenging. Some moments are more challenging than other moments. Knowing when certain times of the year are harder than other times of year can be quite helpful to make sure those moments don’t have to be as challenging.

Nightmares Sucks Sh!t; The Love of a Boyfriend & A Cat, Priceless

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time. I am unable to sleep due to severe PTSD symptoms. Nightmares accompanied with body memories is never a good thing and I am beyond grateful to have Junior staying with me at the moment. Part of the reason Junior spent the night is because we spent last evening watching movies and eating junk food. I am beyond grateful for the movie date at home after a challenging session with my therapist yesterday. The distraction was much needed as well as it was enjoyed by both myself and Junior as well as my cat, Billie. Billie loves the attention, Junior gives him. I really wish the PTSD symptoms were not so severe as they suck shit. Anyway, I am happy that Junior is here to help me through this tough PTSD moment.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Blustery Winter Post From Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is that time of year where you never know what the weather is going to be here in Seattle. Well, I am partly wrong on that as most of the time it is usually dark, dreary, damp, wet and rainy. On that note, there are the occasional wind storms and sometimes snow. According to the weather report there are supposed to be strong winds today. In fact the view from my window proves this to be true as the trees are moving due to wind.

Despite the current windy and wet weather, various news reports are reporting that Seattle is supposed to have snow at the end of the week. Seattle shuts down when it snows. Part of the reason is many folks in Seattle don’t really know how to deal with which includes me especially since I spent the first sixteen years of my life in Southern California. The other reason is the lack of things such as snow plows and the fact that Seattle is the second hilliest city in the United States. (The hilliest city in the United States is San Francisco.) Snow is pretty to look at but I am not a huge fan of it due to the fact that I do not like the cold.

Even though there is a threat of snow at the end of this week, I at least know that if it does that I will have therapy on Friday as my session is virtual due to the fact my therapist works from home on Fridays. My therapist and I are working on skills to help with the Depression and PTSD symptoms I deal with especially how intense the symptoms are this time of year. Winter is a really challenging time of year for me in regards to increased Depression and PTSD symptoms which is why my therapist and I work on skills to help me through tough moments.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Managing Through a Tough Day

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a rough day so far and it is not even twelve noon yet, here in Seattle. I think part of the reason why it has been a rough day is partly due to PTSD symptoms as well as depression symptoms. Both depression and PTSD symptoms suck but I think a factor of the depression symptoms is due to the current weather here in Seattle. It is currently cloudy with a great deal of rain. On that note at least it is not cold enough to snow as I am not a big fan of snow.

Since it hasn’t been the greatest weather outside, I have been doing some things to help myself through this tough day. I have been doing some mindfulness meditation practices as well as doing workbooks to focus on different aspects of my recovery. I have found that both the mindfulness meditation practices and doing workbooks have been quite helpful. Of course my cat, Billie, has been a major help.

Speaking of cats, I go back to volunteering at PAWS Cat City later today after taking some time off. I will be doing some sub shifts and hopefully, will be back on a regular shift soon. Volunteering with cats is awesome and I enjoy it immensely.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time and sadly, I am unable to sleep. I woke up to a nightmare. Nightmares suck sh!t and I wish I didn’t have to deal with them but sadly they are a major symptom of PTSD for me.

Since the nightmare was almost as horrific as the trauma I experienced as a child, I am pretty sure what I am going to do to get myself relaxed enough to hopefully get back to sleep. I think I will try to read first. I think I will start reading the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. I have started this book a couple of times before but sadly never finished for various reasons.

If reading does not then, I will put on some music and do some artwork as I listen to the music. I am not sure what type of music I will listen to but I do know the type of artwork I will be doing. The type of artwork I will be doing is coloring. I enjoy coloring a great deal.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening here in Seattle and that means it is that time of the week where I give you my weekly check in. A check where I tell you what has happened for me during the past week. A week that doesn’t always as planned.

I started this week by attending an online twelve step meeting. A meeting that had a focus of step one and will continue to focus on step one for the next three to four weeks so folks can work on the step and not feel rushed doing it. I really connected with this group and let my sponsor know that. She will “attend” with me tomorrow as she has another sponsee that is doing step one plus my sponsor will be in attendance to support me.

Besides attending online twelve step meetings, I returned back to work. I am happy to be back to work despite having a corrective action plan (CAP) looming over my head. I also found out that I will be having my CAP meeting this Monday. I don’t think most of the CAP is fair but I will take responsibility for the parts that I know is fair like missing too many days even though I have medical reasons for missing too many days. As far as the adaptability part, I know I have issues with it however it is disability related and feel like I am in trouble due to my disability. I am also getting a CAP due to how my annual review went but that was done three and half months early which is why I am fighting the CAP. I don’t understand why I wasn’t informed sooner about what I need to work on.

I also had therapy this week. My therapist and I discussed many different things including work. We discussed coping skills around work as well as the mental health symptoms that I deal with on the daily basis. We talked about how attending twelve step meetings is “helpful” for me and my recovery. We also discussed how my symptoms are not as severe due to me doing daily mindfulness meditation practices at least twice daily. My therapist is awesome and I appreciate the fact that she not only points out what I need to work on but points out what I am doing well on.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting My Way Through A Depressive Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am feeling very depressed at the moment. I really don’t like being depressed and I wish it would just go away. I know my depression will not go away especially this time of year when it usually gets worse due to the days getting shorter and the weather getting yuckier.

As depressed as I am, I am grateful that I am not suicidal. I am doing my various skills be to prevent myself from getting suicidal as being suicidal is no fund for anyone involved. One way I will help myself through this depressive moment is to do some artwork through coloring. I am coloring a couple of gigantic posters I bought from Stuff2Color.

Another way I am helping myself is reading while Billie, my cat, lays on my lap. I am in the middle of reading two different books. The one I am reading is Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter, by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far I am enjoying the book. I love reading especially when my cat is on my lap.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Feeling Well Enough to Go to Work Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am not feeling well enough physically to go to work today and I feel like I am big let down with my team right now. I have been vomiting a lot during the night. It is something I think is mental health related but my doctor just wants to make sure. So I see later today and hope to update after my doctors appointment.

I will update you in another blog post about why my doctor and therapist have to say. Peace Out!!!

Mid-Week Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! So far it has been one of them weeks for me and the week is not over yet. It’s been one of them weeks because it is my first week back to work from my second medical leave since a trauma happened to me back on July 31st. Anyway, I am still waiting on my corrective action plan (CAP) meeting and what I have to do to “pass it” which I am hoping I can do.

As far as the weather goes regarding my job as an outreach worker as a peer specialist has not been fun at all due to the rain. My feet get wet and I cannot afford water proof or water resistant shoes at the moment. Thankfully, I do have two pairs of shoes. One pair is for walking and the other pair is to make sure when I am inside my feet are not wet or cold so I don’t have to be a cranky bucket with my clients or colleagues.

Since the weather has been yucky and grey as well as it getting dark earlier and staying dark later, I have been using my happy light quite regularly. The happy light is helping a great deal with my depression and surprisingly helping with my anxiety and PTSD.

One of the things that have been helping me a great deal with depression, anxiety and PTSD besides the happy light is doing mindfulness meditation practices. Doing mindfulness meditation practices on a daily basis has proven to me that I am more productive with my day as well as being able to get better sleep.

I really do not have much of anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Down

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! The weather is sorta of yucky here in Seattle which is not unusual for this time of year. Even though the weather could be a lot more yuckier it still is not helping with my depression symptoms. Since it has been cloudy most of the day and it is getting darker earlier, I have had my happy light on most of the day which has been quite helpful.

Something I have been doing most of the day is some form of arts and crafts project while listening to a podcast. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast that I am listening to is called Philosophize This. I really enjoy listening to this podcast. As I listened to the podcast I did some artwork as well as some crafting. The artwork I did was coloring. The crafting I did was some cross stitching.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!