Middle of the Night Ramblings from Work

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world. In fact, I am currently at work. I work an overnight shift for twelve plus hours every Saturday night. I am not a big fan of night shifts nor am I fan of having a twelve plus hour work shift. Even though I am not a fan of a couple of things regarding my job, I am glad that I have a job. Many people are out of work due to the pandemic which is why I am grateful for my job.

As many people are aware of if they live in the United States, is that the West Coast of the United States is having some really bad wild fires. Due to the fires California, Oregon and Washington all have very hazardous air quality. As someone who was born in California and spent the first sixteen years of their life there, I remember horrific air quality. Nothing like it is now. I currently reside in Seattle and have never seen Seattle’s air quality this bad. Hell, I never seen California’s air quality as bad as it is there right now. Something that the mayor of Seattle is shut down all the parks and beaches from Friday till Sunday due to the air quality. I understand why she did it but I think people realize how bad the air is by just looking out their windows. But then again people lack common sense, now a days.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do, however want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday a head of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Photography: Developing Your Eye I; Day Four: Bliss

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s topic is bliss. For me attending baseball games is bliss. It brings back positive childhood memories. I, sadly don’t live in the area of my favorite team, The Angels but I still get to see them play when they come to Seattle when they play against the Mariners. I feel like a little kid when I attend a baseball game and enjoy being surrounded by fellow baseball fans. I miss baseball. For those who are sight impaired I have added a caption to the picture and hope that you are able to read it because WordPress gives you the option to add it to the photo.

The Angels playing the Mariners at Safeco Field now known as T-Mobile Park in Seattle, Washington. Not sure if you could tell but that Angels are at bat.

Missing the Boys of Summer

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is difficult for me to comprehend that there is no baseball right now. Not actually difficult to comprehend but wishing that the pandemic of Covid-19 wasn’t happening. Nobody knows at this point in time if there will even be a baseball season even if it is a shortened season. One can hope for a shortened season but the reality is we don’t know due to the pandemic and the teams versus the owners at the moment.

I miss attending baseball games even if my favorite team is usually the visiting team as I live in enemy territory of Seattle and I am an Angels fan. If you are not familiar with baseball, the Angels are a team that is located in Anaheim, California. I live in Seattle, Washington which is home to the Seattle Mariners. So, that means when I want to see the Angels play in person, I will most likely see them play against the Mariners here in Seattle as I don’t have money to travel to Anaheim to see the Angels play. When I go to a Mariners game when they play against my home town team, the Angels, I am not afraid to wear my Angel gear. I am die hard Angel fan even when I am living in enemy territory like Seattle.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do, however, want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone is having a great Monday. I also hope everyone has an awesome work week ahead of them. Before I go, and I realize baseball isn’t currently being played I want to say: GO ANGELS!!! Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Post About…..

Hello, World!!! Governor Inslee decided to extend the stay at home order till May 31st. I have mixed emotions regarding the extended stay at home order but ultimately I am grateful that Governor Inslee is looking out for the most vulnerable people here are our lovely state of Washington.  Washington has be home for me since the mid 90’s and that doesn’t count whenever I visited my mom and brother every summer and holiday whiled on vacation from school. Looks like I have digressed some. Washington in my home and am grateful that Governor Inslee extended the stay at home order.

I can bitch and complain about the stay at home order all I want but it won’t do anything because it’s keeping it helps people like my dad who doesn’t have a great immune system. It even helps my extremely healthy 89 year old grandpa with staying at home. I am not able to see my family and most of my friend in person due to the fact that I am an essential worker. As much as I miss visiting friends and family, I am grateful for my essential worker status as it means I have a job I can work at.

A job that feels like family and am making some pretty good friends who are taking on the parent role but I am okay with that. At least I am okay with it for the time being. We are in the middle of a pandemic and somethings are worth the fight or at least at the moment. It is nice to have a work family who understands whats going on.

Since were are on the topic of family and friends, I miss the ones I volunteer with at PAWS Cat City. I miss going in helping find cat their furrever home but sadly Cat City is temporarily closed till this all over. Yes, the cats at Cat City went to the PAWS in Lynnwood and are being adopted out there along with dogs. I really miss volunteering at Cat City consider the people I volunteer with like family to me just like my colleagues do when I am at my paid work.

Speaking of cats my cat Billie Dean also fondly called Billie the Kat, is wanting be have help with writing this blog. I have some pictures of painting of wood that is protecting window of closed businesses here in Seattle. I hope to post those soon. By soon I mean Sunday night or Monday morning.

I was planning on writing more about how people are dealing with all this in regards to their mental health and recovery but right now my cat wants attention so I will write about that on Saturday night at work if I have time to do so.  I love my cat so much.

Sorry, I ending this post sooner that I had planned but thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Stay home and save lives by doing so. Peace Out, World!!!!

Long Time No Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a quite a while since I last blogged and it looks like I am falling behind on my New Years goal of blogging on average of three times a week. I figured that now that this Covid-19 shit is going to keep me home at least another month that now is a good time to start blogging on the regular basis.

First and fore most lets talk about work. I am grateful that my work is considered an “essential job” according to the Washington Governor and am happy about that. Sadly and gratefully I only work one night a week as a shelter counselor at a homeless shelter for young adults ages 18 to 25. I love my job but worried about my health. I am grateful that upper management is making we employees are being taken care of.

As far as my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City, that has been put on hold because PAWS wants to look out for their volunteers and has suspended all volunteer activities. PAWS even temporally closed Cat City for the time being and all there cat adoptions are being done at their Lynnwood location. So, I really miss volunteering with the cats and seeing them get adopted. All adoptions are being done by appointment only for the time being. On the plus note, PAWS came up with a way volunteers can be of help from home if they so desire to do so. That is to call donors to thank them and I of course am going to be doing it. Calling people isn’t exactly my cup of tea but if it helps an organization I love then I am all for helping this way. It’s only twice a month for three months and hopefully by the end of three months, volunteers can be helping with adoptions again.

Being home with really nowhere to go except work I have been spending a lot of time with my cat Billie Dean. I love him so much. I am so grateful for him. I have also go a little stir crazy and needing some in person connection and since there is a stay at home order here in Washington, I have been attending various types of meetings on Zoom and am beyond grateful for this. Yes, it isn’t exactly the best way to connect but is sure is better than being completely cut of from any form of connection since I live alone.

Thank you for listening (or reading). I do not have much more to say. I hope to be blogging more since Covid-19 is having everyone stay at home. I really appreciated the fact that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a good rest of their day as well as their week. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Random Update

Happy Friday, World!!! A great deal has happened since I last posted. In fact, I vaguely remember writing my last post as I was dissociating on and off through it. In fact my mental health treatment team is quite concerned about how much I have been dissociating and how long the episodes last. In fact I am just as concerned as they are. As concerned as I am in regards to my dissociative episodes, I am more fearful of them than anything else.

Last Friday at this time I was traveling to a small rural town in eastern Oregon to visit my great aunt and uncle with my grandpa, dad and two uncles. I normally don’t mind travelling but when you are in a normal sized car with four other people and you are stuck in the middle seat in the back for six plus hours, it’s the most comfortable of experiences. I, however do enjoy visiting my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon. I enjoy visiting both because they are both awesome at storytelling especially when it comes to family history.

After my grandpa, dad and two uncles visited my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon, we drove to Spokane, Washington to not only visit another great aunt but my grandma’s grave. It was nice seeing this great aunt but I was more grateful to visit my grandma’s grave. Not only did I see my great aunt and visit my grandma’s grave, I saw two friends who live in Spokane.

After traveling several hundred miles in two states I was extremely happy to get home on Monday (May 13th). I was happy to get home to my cat, Lil Gertie and sleep in my own bed. In fact, my cat, Lil Gertie, lectured me for a good five minutes. While I was out of town a neighbor who is a good friend watched Lil Gertie for me. I attempted to give him fifty dollars for his time watching, Lil Gertie, but he would only accept twenty five dollars. It’s great to have friends who will help you out when needed.

Going back to the topic of my therapist, I had a session with him. Unfortunately, I don’t remember it because I was in a dissociative state. He has been calling me daily to check in on me. Checking in on me on the daily basis is his way of being proactive and preventive of keeping me out of the hospital for psych reasons even though I am not suicidal or have urges to self harm. The reason why I would be in the hospital for psych ward would  be for the dissociative episodes which would leave me in a vulnerable state. I am all for keeping me out of the hospital as the hospital is not very fun.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 6: The Space to Write

Good Morning, World!!!  Today’s assignment is in regards to writing space and what method of writing do we prefer. For me it depends where my mindset is to where I write and what method I use to write.

When I blog, I obviously use a computer. Actually, use a laptop. Most of the time, am home when I decide to blog like I am now. There are a few occasions where I am not home when I blog. Those are times when I am out of town for whatever reason. A couple of times I have blogged from a city part here in Seattle as well as when I was in Olympia (Washington) visiting family.

When it comes to journaling I usually use a pencil with a journal that has paper in it. It doesn’t matter where I am when I journal. I have been known to journal on the city bus. When I journal it is usually when I have something on my mind that is really bothering me however I do journal at least once a week to just say how my week went. One of my favorite places to journal is when I am near a water like a river or ocean.

I don’t have much more to say about the space I write in. My cat tends to want to “help” me write whenever I blog or journal. We all know that cats just want to get attention when we are try to do something. I love my cat.

Stuck in the Hospital, Mason’s Story

When I saw this on a friends Facebook page I had to read further and decided to reblog it. This saddens me a great deal.

Stuck in the Hospital

My name is John Short and I am an Emergency Medicine Physician at Mason General Hospital in Shelton, Washington. The following is my first-hand account of an ongoing injustice perpetrated by the WA state government against a disabled person:


Mason.jpg


“Mason”* has been abandoned by DSHS and the State of Washington at Mason General Hospital (MGH) in Shelton, WA since the 12th of December, 2018 when he was brought to the emergency department for behavioral problems (no medical problems were apparent). He has been a client of DSHS and the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA) since he was a child. He moved from another part of the state 2 days before being taken to the ER. Unfortunately, the residential facility that had accepted him found that they were unable to continue to take care of him. They requested help from law enforcement and the Designated Crisis Responder (DCR). The residential facility believed…

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Good Things In Therapy + Whining About 911 Outage

Good Evening, World!!! As many of you know who live in the United States there was a 911 outage due in most of the nation due to a network problem with Century Link. I am a Century Link customer for my land line and internet service and am grateful that my phone line and internet was not interrupted and have only had one issue with them in eighteen years of service. But for me a customer service issue is far different than a 911 outage and the 911 outage has me livid as hell. I won’t change companies because of the outage but have 911 go out in one city much less much of a nation is NEVER a good thing as people lives are at stake.

The worst part about the 911 outage is that the fire alarm system went off in my apartment building twice due to neighbors burning food and both time it didn’t alert the fire department. The alternative numbers that were given to us were busy so some of us, including myself, walked to the closet fire station which is only seven blocks away to let them know. The battalion chief was grateful for me and my neighbor for letting them know about the alarm system going off both times and the back up number not working both time. She even called “the powers at be” to let them know about the back up emergency numbers were not working.

I know that most of the 911 outages are taken care of here in Washington but it is still affecting parts of Seattle. It is effecting my neighborhood in Seattle which sucks. But at least the state and county are at least keeping people updated.

Now on to my session with my therapist today. We discussed what happened to my dad with his seizures as well as my mom overdosing on Heroin and how I able to not be in crisis myself after such a stressful holiday. He stated “with all the family crisis’s going on and the grief of your grandma, I am proud of you that you didn’t let you it put you into a crisis. You deserve to be proud of yourself.” We discussed how well I have been doing and that not calling the crisis team of the holidays shows major improvement in my recovery. Which is true. Even when I was doing extremely well, I had to call the crisis team at least once over the holidays and this year was the first time in over a decade that I didn’t have to.

I don’t have much more to say except that I have a great therapist. A therapist that is awesome. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday!!!  Peace Out, World!!!

The Sh*t That Is On My Mind

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. I have attempted to post but hit road blocks and writers block along the way. So today, I am saying fuck it to both the road blocks and writers block and just write what I am thinking at the moment. Yes, it is a scary thought. Yes, I will be writing what I am exactly at the moment. Yes, it might not make sense.

Right now I am dealing with some fucking anger. Anger over the mass shooting in California. Why in the hell is this shit still fucking happening? Why is the media blaming mental health challenges, yet again on the mass shooting? Why are people on social media sites doing the same thing? Seriously, people who have a mental health challenge are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime than a perpetrator of one. Why can’t mainstream media share that?

Okay, if you are a regular reader, you know I live in Seattle, Washington. Anyway a couple of initiatives recently passed here in Washington. One was for better gun control. I personally had mixed feelings on this initiative because of possible HIPPA violations. I would have voted for it if it weren’t for the HIPPA violations. I am all for common sense gun control but when it violates a persons medical privacy then its an issue for me. Another initiative  that passed and I voted for is better and more training for police officers in regards to people who are in a mental health crisis. I don’t understand why people have an issue over more training for police officers. Hell, I personally think any type of training for any career is a good thing.

I am having some high anxiety right now. I haven’t had therapy last week or this week due to my therapist being out sick. I can’t help but think this is going to be another repeat of what happened when Diana left unexpectedly two years ago due to a cancer diagnosis. I feel like I am have very similar conversations with the on call clinicians that I had two years ago as I “have no evidence” that my therapist wont be coming back which is true but when its happened before you tend to worry and be anxious about such things. I just don’t need another change in my mental health care. I hope my therapist gets better and does come back but I’m not holding my breath at the moment. I don’t think the clinicians I’ve talked to over the last two week really understand the fear I am having right now especially with having a new job and the holidays coming up.

Thanks for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead. I am grateful for each one of you who read my blog. Again, thank you for reading. Have a wonderful evening as well as a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!