Tag Archives: Sexual Assault

No Sleep For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 4:14 in the morning, Seattle time. I am tired and a cranky bucket. Despite actually attempting to sleep, sleep was a no go for me. I suspect a lot of it has to deal with the recent sexual assault I have experienced. My cat, Billie has been quite a comfort for me since I adopted him over three years ago however he appears to be more of comfort to me after being raped. I think he can pick up on what is going on with my emotions.

On that note since being comforted by my cat, Billie and not being able to get sleep, I did a lot of arts and crafts. I did a lot of coloring because that appeared to be less frustrating for me. As far as Diamond Art goes it appears to be more frustrating for me due to all the little pieces involved but I am sure once I get the hang of it, it will become more enjoyable. I am sort of getting the idea of latch hooking and am enjoying it. I am watching a lot of YouTube videos on latch hooking which is great. At far a cross stitching goes, I am loving it and enjoying it. I just have one issue, my cat, Billie wants to play with the thread or string as he thinks it is. I love being able to do arts and crafts with my cat, Billie by my side.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you my readers for reading my post especially as of lately since my post have been more depressive and traumatic than usual. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Struggling with Recent Sexual Assault but Using Coping Skills & Self Care Techniques to Help

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle, Washington. It is 1:11 in the morning Seattle time and I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep mainly due to a recent rape I’ve experience within the last few days ago. I am dealing with some very intense emotions regarding the sexual assault.

As I am tired and sleeping I am hoping to get some sleep tonight and I hope the coping skills and self care techniques I use will be helpful. I of course am planning on doing creative stuff. I will of course be doing work on diamond art as well as doing some coloring. Of course I will be doing some crafting of Latching Hooking which I am still trying to get the hang of doing the proper techniques. Now as the crossing stitching I am getting better at it and learning the various stitches.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog. I just want to thank you for reading my blog even though it is a little on the depressing side.Peace Out World!!!

The Woes of Billie my Cat & Myself; Yes, Things are Getting Better w/the Two of Us

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World! It is just after twelve noon in the afternoon here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. A lot has happened over the last couple of weeks. Lot of job interviews and doctors appointments.I’m going to get better health wise.

In fact my cat has had some health issues besides the kidney stuff. He has some dental stuff done and one is’t healing correctly so as a precautionary measure they are giving Billie my cat antibiotics. Billie appears to be fine most of the time. Well except when he has to take his antibiotics. I don’t blame as they probably taste yucky to him.

As far as me I’ve sexually assaulted last weekend by a neighbor and few days later physically assaulted by the same neighbor. The police are “looking into it.”

I the mean time I have been feeling out job applications and attending job interviews. Some I know I won’t get while others I have a good chance. Wish me luck with getting a job sooner than later.

I’ve also be doing art work for my mom which i hope she enjoys.

I don’t have much more to say except thank you for reading.

An Update From My Last Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been about a week since I last posted. Sadly, my last post was about me getting traumatized again. I apologize for not updating you sooner. I’m just attempting to get my baring’s back after what happened and its not an easy process to do so.

Updating you is one way I am attempting to get my baring’s back. As you may realize it hasn’t been the easiest of weeks after dealing with an assault. Not just any type of an assault but a sexual assault. An assault that I don’t remember much of due to the fact that I was knocked out by a rock or brick or something similar.

At this point in time I don’t know if its a good thing or a bad thing but I do know that detective is looking into it as that a stranger reported seeing the first part of the assault. The part of me getting knocked out was reported to the police. The fortunate part was someone not only called the police but took pictures as well. Unfortunately, by the time the police showed up, I had left the park unwillingly with the person who assaulted me. I don’t remember this  and wish the detective didn’t tell me. I am however grateful that someone did call the police and took pictures. Anyway, the detective and I set up a time for me to “be interviewed” to share what I remember (or the lack there of) and put me in touch with the victim’s advocate.

The victim advocate contacted me shortly after the phone conversation with the detective ended. She told me what to expect next in the process of reporting. She will be in attendance when I talk with the detective in person. The victim advocate will me walking along side of me the entire way. The victim advocate also encouraged me to do “good self-care.”

Doing good self-care for me includes me going to my follow up appointment with my doctor. My doctor looked me over and she took my stitches out. The stitches that were located below the belt. She also helped me fill out some paper work that could help me pay for any future appointments regarding the assault. Knowing that I can have more help paying for any therapy or doctors appointments has given me some hope. My doctor has encouraged me to continue getting the support of my mental health treatment team as well as my friends and partner, Junior.

My friends as well as Junior  have always been in my corner and they are continuing to do so. In fact my friends have been checking up on me on the regular basis. Junior continues to be the rock I need as well give me the love and support that is much needed at the moment. Junior and my friends are such a blessing to me in my life and am beyond grateful to have them in my life especially right now.

As I finish up this post I want to thank you for reading and being a support in your own way. I hope to post again soon however I do ask for your patience if I don’t blog for a while due to recent events. I plan on blogging in the next few days but the way things are at moment I don’t want to give in false hopes. Again, thank you for reading. I hope you have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!!

YIPPEE IT’S MONDAY!!!!

Posted on by Gertie

     YIPPEE IT’S MONDAY!!!! (Stop your moaning, Mondays are my Fridays.) Now that I’ve got your attention with the title of the this particular blog entry lets get on to a serious topic of religion and mental illness and my personal experience with it. The particular religion I will be talking about is my experience with Christianity. My intent is not to speak ill of Christianity but to make those who are Christians aware of the type of harm you may be doing without meaning to. I do realize that there are those “Christians” that realize what they are doing and this blog is for them as well as those who don’t realize what harm they maybe doing. I’m also hoping that pastors read this particular post in hopes that they can maybe have sermon on judgment, healing and mental illness. Now with that being said let me get on to what I want to discuss regarding mental illness and Christianity.

     At one point in time I considered myself a Christian. I now consider myself Agnostic. I believe that their is a higher power whomever he, she or they may be. I became Agnostic because of how I was treated at a number of different Christian Churches. Anytime I go into a church and wear short sleeve shirts that’s when the Calgary comes barging in. See, I use to cut myself in the height of my struggles with mental illness and have scars on my arms. I’ve been told that I need to go to healing service’s to have demon’s prayed out of me. I’ve been told that I was NOT welcomed because they don’t allow “crazy people” at their church. My response to that was and still is, “Didn’t Jesus say come as you are?” The response varies from person to person as well as church to church. I’ve also had people tell me that I didn’t have enough faith because if I did then I would have been healed from my mental illness. How in the hell do they know how much faith I do or do not have. They don’t know what’s in my heart or mind. I even had one pastor tell me that I couldn’t attend their church until they were able to talk to my therapist and that was the first time I even attended that church. I never went back to that particular church.

    The thing that made me loose my faith in Jesus was a particular incident that happened. See I was dating a guy from the church I was regularly attending. I ended up getting date r*p*d by this guy. I do have to say that he had a psychotic break when he r*p*d me. When the pastors of the church got wind of this, they asked me to not prosecute him because it would ruin his life. The pastors also said that they would pay for his attorneys and make sure that his newly found illness would get him off and use my illness against me. They also said they would take it to the media. Due past trauma in my childhood and camera’s them threatening going to the media is what got me to NOT prosecute. I don’t like camera’s of any kind. The pastors told me that it was my fault that I caused him to not only r*p* me but that he had a psychotic break. Yes, I realize that it’s NOT my fault but it felt like my fault for the longest time.

     Now that you all know why I lost my faith, I want Christians to realize what they say and do to anyone especially those with mental illness can determine weather or not they believe in Jesus. I personally think the r*p*  would have not been an issue of me loosing my faith in Jesus if it were not for my previous experiences with various different Christian churches. Like I said I’m not trying to speak ill of all Christians or churches. Some of my closest friends are Christians. I just want to educate Christians that the mentally ill go to Church like the rest of you. People who struggle with mental illness are searching for what you are searching for. My goal here is to not offend but to educate.

    I have come to terms with the r*p* with a great deal of therapy. I am now trying to come to terms on what spirituality looks for me now. Spirituality is another strong component in recovery with mental illness. Like I said earlier, I am Agnostic. I believe that their is some higher being out there guiding me. Not sure who he, she or they are but I know that there is some higher spirit out there.

    Well, its time to end this entry and hope that this blog entry does not cause a debate. This entry is to educate Christians about the judgments they have toward the mentally ill. Yes, I know they are human like me but telling them your judgments and not educating yourselves about mental illness does more harm than good. Have a good evening all.