A Random Sunday Evening Post

Good Evening, World!!! It is yet another Sunday evening in my corner of the world. I have not really done much today. I am not sure why I have not done much but am grateful that it has been a lazy day for me as it seemed like it was something I needed.

I may have not done much today but I have been productive in little ways today. I did go with a friend who happens to be a neighbor to a local Catholic church to have a free meal. There is Catholic church in my neighborhood that puts on a free meal for homeless and low income people every Sunday afternoon. The cool thing about this meal is that it is not a requirement to go a church service to be able to eat the meal like it is at some other churches around the area. The other cool thing is that this particular Catholic church has been doing this free church for over forty years and there a couple of volunteers that have been volunteering since the church started doing the free meals. In fact many of the volunteers have been volunteering more that twenty years. I think it is extremely cool that people are willing to help low income and homeless individuals. I am grateful to be able to attend this free meal every Sunday with friends who live in my apartment building. This one free meal a week helps me a great deal to save money. Money that I need for other things.

Speaking of money and before I go on to the other semi productive things I have done today, I want to remind you my reader of something. As you might be aware of is that I have advertisements on my blog. Yes, I am well aware of how annoying they are but every time one is clicked on that fully loads I make a cent or two from you just clicking on it. The only way I get paid is when it accumulates to a hundred dollars. I am now on my second round of trying to accumulating one hundred dollars as I finally hit one hundred dollars last month (June). So, it will be highly appreciative if you could click on advertisements so I can make money. I hope to get to another one hundred dollars by the end of November so I can buy holiday presents for family and friends.

Okay, enough with my begging for you to click on to the annoying advertisements for me to earn money and on to what else I have done today. After getting home from the free lunch at the Catholic church I spent the rest of the day doing art and listening to a podcast about philosophy. The type of art I did was coloring a poster for my therapist and painting something for a friend. I listened to a podcast about philosophy because I am really getting into the subject and love learning about it. I am grateful that I am into philosophy and learning about it as do my art work. Being able to learn as I do something creative is always a good thing for me even if some don’t consider it as being productive.

I do not have much more to say without repeating myself so I am going to end this blog post. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

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Mental Illness and Evangelical Christians

It’s Sunday and that means a number of people around the world went to their place of worship to celebrate their particular entity. It being Sunday, I decided to take a friend up on her invite to attend the church that she is a member of. The reason why I took my friend up on the invite was because she had a solo. Going to church is a major deal to me because I rarely go.

I rarely go  to church for many reasons and one those things happened today at the church I visited today. To give you a back story I use to self harm by cutting myself and that means I have scars and some of those scars are on my arms. Whenever I go and visit a church and wear short sleeves I get a lot of stares and some questions and that’s okay with me. It’s a way to educate others. The thing I have an issue with and is one of the reasons I choose to not attend church is when those in attendance of the church telling me various things in regards to my scarred up arms. Things like “You need Jesus because if you had Jesus you wouldn’t have those,” as they point to my arms or “The Devil must be inside of you because you cut yourself,” or “I think you should attend our healing service to be healed of your mental health issues. You obviously have one or you wouldn’t have scars on your arms.” All three of these statements were told to me today. Unfortunately, my friend didn’t hear the people who told me these statements because she was getting ready for her solo with the choir. My friend attends an Evangelical Christian church and I have found that with all the Evangelical Churches I have been to, I have at least five or six people make similar comments like the ones I shared with you above. When people of faith tell me comments like above or similar ones it has me feeling less than human and undeserving. I do have to say I was able to stand up for myself when I had people make comments to me today. The comments my friend was around to hear she backed me up and helped me convey my message and ultimately stood up for me. In fact, she even stood up for me when the senior pastor of her church made the comment, “Oh another lost soul that allowed Satan to take over so he could make you crazy.” Yes, he said crazy. I am so grateful that my friend stuck for me and gave her senior pastor a lesson on God, faith, compassion and mental illness.

My friend was in disbelief when she not only heard her friends make discriminatory and “un-Christ-like” comments but the comments her senior pastor said. When I told her I was hesitant to go to her church for reason such as I just described to you she told me it wouldn’t happen. I find my friend being a little naïve when it came to this issue. In fact many Evangelical Christians are naïve and ignorant toward mental illness. Many Evangelical Christian feel and think that we chose to have a mental illness or allowed the devil to give us one. Why would we choose to have a mental illness? I would wish a mental illness on my worst enemy.

I am not posting this blog to pass judgment on any particular person, religion or faith but to educate those who may not be aware that their comments and actions hurt and turn away potential Christians to believe what they believe or attend their church. I know some of the comments are well intended but not helpful. A great deal of the comments I receive today in regards to my scarred up arms were quite ignorant, discriminatory, judgmental and just plain ole continued the stigmatizing of mental illness.

The goal of this blog and blog entry is to educate those on mental illness. Stigma has no place anywhere especially in a place of worship. Everyone need to feel safe when they are worshiping their particular entity.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest I will call it an evening and night. Have a good rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out!!

Sunday Morning Pre-Work Rambling

     It’s another Sunday morning and I am getting ready for work. I don’t really like what time I get off tonight but that’s okay because at least work keeps me busy. I really didn’t want to work today because a friend of mine is singing and the place of worship she attends.

     My friend has the most beautiful voice you ever heard. If she wasn’t such a good friend I wouldn’t have considered setting foot in a church. My friend has stuck by me through thick and thin. She never has shoved her religion down my throat like a lot of other people do. She considers herself a Christian. I’m grateful that she doesn’t judge me that I don’t consider myself a Christian. She understands why don’t. If you have been reading my blog you know why I don’t consider myself as a Christian.

     Now on to other things. I may not like my work shift today but I am grateful that I am able to work. I maybe in a job that I consider dead end but at least I have a job. Their are so many people out there that don’t have jobs or who are unable to work. Yes, I know yesterday I was frustrated with my life that I am not where I want to be in life with my career and that’s I still feel at the moment but I realize that if I keep working at my current employment and searching for jobs in the field that I desire to be in, then the right job will come along.

     Speaking of jobs I need to get going. I need to end this blog entry and finish getting ready for work. Have a great Sunday everyone. Hope to blog again tomorrow.

YIPPEE IT’S MONDAY!!!!

     YIPPEE IT’S MONDAY!!!! (Stop your moaning, Mondays are my Fridays.) Now that I’ve got your attention with the title of the this particular blog entry lets get on to a serious topic of religion and mental illness and my personal experience with it. The particular religion I will be talking about is my experience with Christianity. My intent is not to speak ill of Christianity but to make those who are Christians aware of the type of harm you may be doing without meaning to. I do realize that there are those “Christians” that realize what they are doing and this blog is for them as well as those who don’t realize what harm they maybe doing. I’m also hoping that pastors read this particular post in hopes that they can maybe have sermon on judgment, healing and mental illness. Now with that being said let me get on to what I want to discuss regarding mental illness and Christianity.

     At one point in time I considered myself a Christian. I now consider myself Agnostic. I believe that their is a higher power whomever he, she or they may be. I became Agnostic because of how I was treated at a number of different Christian Churches. Anytime I go into a church and wear short sleeve shirts that’s when the Calgary comes barging in. See, I use to cut myself in the height of my struggles with mental illness and have scars on my arms. I’ve been told that I need to go to healing service’s to have demon’s prayed out of me. I’ve been told that I was NOT welcomed because they don’t allow “crazy people” at their church. My response to that was and still is, “Didn’t Jesus say come as you are?” The response varies from person to person as well as church to church. I’ve also had people tell me that I didn’t have enough faith because if I did then I would have been healed from my mental illness. How in the hell do they know how much faith I do or do not have. They don’t know what’s in my heart or mind. I even had one pastor tell me that I couldn’t attend their church until they were able to talk to my therapist and that was the first time I even attended that church. I never went back to that particular church.

    The thing that made me loose my faith in Jesus was a particular incident that happened. See I was dating a guy from the church I was regularly attending. I ended up getting date r*p*d by this guy. I do have to say that he had a psychotic break when he r*p*d me. When the pastors of the church got wind of this, they asked me to not prosecute him because it would ruin his life. The pastors also said that they would pay for his attorneys and make sure that his newly found illness would get him off and use my illness against me. They also said they would take it to the media. Due past trauma in my childhood and camera’s them threatening going to the media is what got me to NOT prosecute. I don’t like camera’s of any kind. The pastors told me that it was my fault that I caused him to not only r*p* me but that he had a psychotic break. Yes, I realize that it’s NOT my fault but it felt like my fault for the longest time.

     Now that you all know why I lost my faith, I want Christians to realize what they say and do to anyone especially those with mental illness can determine weather or not they believe in Jesus. I personally think the r*p*  would have not been an issue of me loosing my faith in Jesus if it were not for my previous experiences with various different Christian churches. Like I said I’m not trying to speak ill of all Christians or churches. Some of my closest friends are Christians. I just want to educate Christians that the mentally ill go to Church like the rest of you. People who struggle with mental illness are searching for what you are searching for. My goal here is to not offend but to educate.

    I have come to terms with the r*p* with a great deal of therapy. I am now trying to come to terms on what spirituality looks for me now. Spirituality is another strong component in recovery with mental illness. Like I said earlier, I am Agnostic. I believe that their is some higher being out there guiding me. Not sure who he, she or they are but I know that there is some higher spirit out there.

    Well, its time to end this entry and hope that this blog entry does not cause a debate. This entry is to educate Christians about the judgments they have toward the mentally ill. Yes, I know they are human like me but telling them your judgments and not educating yourselves about mental illness does more harm than good. Have a good evening all.