A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

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Weekly Check In

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. I did attempt to post and have plenty of unfinished post to prove that I did attempt to do so. I honestly don’t have any excuses to why didn’t finish the post I started.

I guess I will make this post my weekly check in as I was planning to tell you what my week was like anyway. I guess, I will start with Monday. Monday, I went to my doctors appointment and had my annual wellness check done. It was not a fun experience like always because of my trauma history. Anyway, my doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done because my uterus is enlarged and no I am not pregnant. She did a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t even though I already knew due to not being sexually active for well over a year. So, I am waiting on my insurance to “approve” the ultrasound. I am also waiting for insurance to “approve” me for a mammogram even though I am now forty and “shouldn’t need approval” according to the paperwork I have from them but hey we all need to go through this stupid red tape from time to time.

Tuesday, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a med review and that went well. She increased my Ambien to ten milligrams. We briefly discussed how things were going and I was honest with her and informed her about my doctor’s appointment. She thanked me for updating her on my physical health issues.

I also saw my therapist on Tuesday and we ended up discussing a great deal about my annual wellness check up. We discussed this as it was quite triggering to me due to my severe and lengthy trauma history. We also discussed about needing an ultrasound and being “of age” for a mammogram and the emotions that go with all of it. He also brought up the fact that a program called “Path with Art” registration is open for spring classes as he knows I love to do art and be creative as well as trying to build structure to help with my recovery.

Thursday, I went and saw my denturist to get them realigned and adjusted. It went pretty well except my grandpa got upset with the denturist due to the fact the he asked the denturist why I was telling him (my grandpa) that I shouldn’t wear my dentures at night. The denturist explained at length why not. My grandpa was not all that happy with the answer because my grandpa has been wearing his dentures at night for years. My grandpa also brought up some concerns that he and I both had and the denturist put our minds at ease. I am grateful that my grandpa paid for my dentures.

I also saw my therapist for a second time in the same week on Thursday. We discussed shit that was going on in regards to PTSD and anxiety. We also once again discussed signing up for “Path with Art” which I did later in the evening.

In fact when I signed up for Path with Art, I found out I could only take one class which sucks but I understand as it is free and geared toward folks in certain programs/agencies. Part of the registration is to give them your top three choices. My first choice is how to tell a story through comics and I feel like this was (and is) the best first choice for me as I love comics. I hope I get into this particular class as I really want to learn more about comics.

Another thing that happened Thursday was my boss texted me to see if I could work today (Saturday) and I informed him I couldn’t. He said okay and wants to do a one on one supervision with me this coming Wednesday due to not taking shift the last couple of months which I understand why he wants to do it. I am a little fearful that I will be let go but I don’t think that is the case as my employer appears to be cool from my experience and my supervisor did say we were going to talk about availability for his on calls. Plus, if I am to be let go even though it doesn’t seem all that likely at the moment, I will accept the fact about being let go due to the fact of not taking any shifts so in essence, I will be taking responsibility for my own actions.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the potential of being fired but it would be my own fault due to not taking any shifts when I was asked if I could do them. But like I said I don’t think that will be the case as I think they will just give me some kind of warning if it continues and like my supervisor said we will be discussing availability.  Also if it was something more official like being terminated, I am sure he would have sent me an email instead of a text.

I honestly don’t have much more to say except that the weather in Seattle currently sucks. It is windy and rainy outside. It is the type of day to stay inside and read type of day. Or maybe even a binge watch type of day. I most likely will be reading. I really love to read.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog even though I do enjoy blogging. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Boredom Sets In As I Wait For….

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office to see her for our ever two week check up even though I have not seen her since November. Long story short, our schedules didn’t mesh well and the holidays didn’t help with the scheduling. Any way I am sure we will be discussing how things have been going with me both physical health and mental health wise. I am sure we will also be discussing how I have not been using the emergency room on the regular basis and only going to urgent care once as seeing her every two weeks is to help cut down on the amount of times I go to the emergency room. Anyway, one of the things I plan on doing is asking my doctor if she can prescribe me some Ativan for my upcoming dental appointment. Actually, it will be for my oral surgery of taking out all of my teeth. I have anxiety over going to the dentist. I know it sounds a wee bit silly but I do. I know most likely my doctor will not prescribe me the Ativan but at least I will have an answer as if I don’t ask the answer will be an automatic no.

As I wait for my doctor, not only have I been writing this post I have been reading the book Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card. It has been quite helpful to me as I wait to see my doctor. Hell, it was quite helpful to me last night when I was unable to sleep due to sleeping too much for about three days due to depression. I love to read. It helps me get out of my own head space and think about something else for once. It is quite helpful for me and my recovery journey.

I best be ending this particular post as it is getting closer to my appointment time with my doctor. I hope to post more later on today. I hope everyone has a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But The Boring Shit I Did Today

Hello, World!!! It has been a busy Tuesday for me. I had a three appointments today which I am all grateful for. They just wore me out.

I, first had an appointment with my regular doctor for our every two week check up. This is to help keep me out of the Emergency Room for both physical health and mental health stuff. Unfortunately, my next appointment with my doctor is going to me for my oh so not very lovely yearly exam. At least I’m not forty yet so I don’t have to worry about a mammogram as of right now.

I then saw my therapist for our weekly session and it well. We discussed a lot of topic regarding family and holidays. For me that is what needs to be discussed to help me put in a good self care. For me doing self care is especially important any time of the but more so during the holidays. So my therapist and I are going to come up with more ways for good way for me to do good self care when I am at my families places during the holidays.

I then saw my employment specialist. We specifically discussed my job and how it wasn’t turning out like I thought it would be. I’m not guaranteed a shift every week. It is an on call position that is at night. If I had a regular schedule with a I night shift I think I would be fine with it but it is not a regular shift so my employment specialist and I are looking for other jobs for me at the moment. We found one that would be great for me for now. Since my flash drive broke I have to rebuild my resume which is okay for me.

I am attempting to keep this post short as I am sleepy. I hope everyone has had a good Tuesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow (Wednesday). Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bullshit of Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! It is the Sunday after Thanksgiving and this year Thanksgiving was difficult for my family and I as it is the first holiday season with out my grandma. When my grandpa said the prayer before we ate dinner on Thanksgiving he broke down crying which led me to cry.

Speaking of grandpa, he had knee surgery a few weeks ago and right now, I am taking care of him as neither one of my uncles are able to do so at the moment due to them both having to work. It is nice to be able to help him as needed. It is also nice to spend some time with him in general as he is 88 years old. For being 88 years old he is relatively good health with the exception of his recent knee surgery.

Speaking of health, I did see my doctor nearly two weeks ago. She put me on on some antibiotics due to having an abscessed tooth. Unfortunately, I needed to go to the Emergency Room the next day to get my tooth taken out. Good thing the hospital I normally go to is a teaching hospital with a dental school. I see my doctor again this Tuesday as we have appointments every two weeks to help keep me out of the hospital for both physical and mental health.

Speaking of mental health I finally saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner as she kept cancelling due to family emergencies and a death in the family. She apologized profusely about the many cancellations however I was quite understanding of the reasons why. She and I discussed my mental health as well as my psych meds. I informed her overall my meds were working except the new sleeping med which she increased. We also discussed not being able to see my therapist due to him being out sick for three weeks. She informed me that if he wasn’t back the week after Thanksgiving to give her a call to see what she could do about me seeing someone on the interim bases.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to call my psychiatric nurse practitioner regarding as my therapist came back last week, the week of Thanksgiving. I was able to see my therapist the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We discussed a great deal regarding him being gone, my grief regarding it being the first holidays without my grandma and the upcoming holidays and how difficult they are for me due to trauma. Since my therapist is back even though part time we are working on ways to help me get through them. So my next session we are going specifically working on self care tactics so I can stay out of the hospital for psych reasons including the Emergency Room.

As the holidays are upon us, I am thinking on what I am going to give my family for the holidays. I haven’t decided yet but I think I am going to give my dads side a picture of my grandma and my moms side some hand made gifts. I highly dislike giving things that will only be exchanged for something else or gifted out to someone else.

I don’t have much else to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that I have people who read my blog on the regular basis. To you I am the most grateful for. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season even though I know it is challenging for many folks. I hope you all have a wonderful work week as well. Have good rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!

The Evening Before Thanksgiving

Good Evening, World!!! Long time not blog. I can give you plenty of reasons why I haven’t posted in a while as well as plenty of excuses and have decided I won’t bore you with them. I’ll just go straight into what I am going to post about.

The last few weeks have been filled with anxiety. They have been filled with anxiety because my therapist was out of the office for three weeks due to health problems and finally came back this past Monday (11/19/2018). He still still didn’t look like he was feeling all that well when I saw him yesterday (Tuesday). But at least I was able to see him for a session without seeing him in almost a month. I had an extreme case of anxiety that my therapist wouldn’t becoming back due to health reason after what happened with Diana. Even though my therapist is back only part time due to his health issues, I am glad he is feeling well enough to be back. I just wish he was feeling back to his normal. But at least I will be seeing him weekly just as long as his doctors continue to say it is okay for him to work.

Another thing that has been causing me a great deal of stress for me is that my psychiatric nurse practitioner kept canceling on me due to a family emergency and a death in the family and I had ran out of refills for meds. But thankfully she refilled them before leaving to go to the funeral. I was finally able to see her last Thursday (November 15, 2018). She upped my new sleeping med and even with the increased, it still isn’t helping me fall asleep as quickly as I would like. At least the Melatonin appears to be helping me stay asleep.

Something else that I am not sure I have  mentioned but my regular doctor has been seeing me every two weeks as a precautionary thing to help me stay out of the Emergency Room (E.R) for both physical and mental health reasons. It appears to be helping. In my opinion it has been quite helpful.

Unfortunately, I did end up in the E.R last Wednesday (11/14/2018) due to an abscessed tooth. Thankfully, they were able to get the Dental Resident over from the Dental school to take care of the tooth and pull it. I am now on antibiotics for three weeks due to the severity of the infection.

On that note, I have been dealing with anxiety regarding the upcoming holidays. It is not just the anxiety I am dealing with in regards to the holidays, I have been dealing with the grief of this being the first holiday season without my grandma. I just wish the anxiety wasn’t so bad especially with the added grief. The one thing that has been quite helpful with the anxiety is my cat. She has been laying on my chest as I sit in my chair when I am high anxiety. She does this to help me focus on my breath. I find it quite helpful that she does this even though it hurts my boobs.

Well, I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope that I can post more often and not let things get in the way. Again, thank you so very much for reading my post. If I don’t post tomorrow, I want to wish everyone in the United States a very Happy Thanksgiving. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Moodiness

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am realizing that I have been moody most of the day. I have been moody for many reasons. My depression is acting up. My grief dealing with my grandma hit me like a tsunami today. Oh yeah and that weather sucks shit.

It doesn’t help things that I have been isolating myself today. Not sure why I am isolating today but I have. I did email my therapist and primary care doctor about the depression, grief and isolation. Both my doctor and therapist reminded me of my appointments with them tomorrow which I know will be quite helpful for me. My therapist also informed that I do have refills for my psych meds as he talked with the “shrink on duty.” So, at least I know I have meds for the next two weeks.

My cat, Lil Gertie, has been of great help to me today. She has been laying by my side on my share or laying on my lap. She even let me hold her for about ten minutes as I paced around my apartment. She usually only lets me hold her for about two to three minutes max. She is an awesome emotional support animal. Right now she is taking some “me time” by sleeping on my bed. Everyone needs some space at times and she has done a very good job with supporting me today so she deserves the “me time.”

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Knowing that I have perfect strangers that care about me and that I am able to help by sharing my story helps me get through tough days like today. I hope everyone has a good rest of your Monday. Enjoy your week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!