My Meds Aren’t Working

Good Morning, Word!!! My medication is not working. Friend and family are saying that it appear that I am on drugs when I am not on drugs. MY meds aren’t working like they are suppose to. My friends and family think I am using drugs when in reality my meds are not working properly. The last thing I want is people thinking I am on drugs.

On that note, I let my doctor, therapist and psychiatrist know vie email and phone call. I know that is a bit much but I just wanted to make sure they were made aware of it. Plus my meds are making me funny and they should know about that. I hope they get back to me soon.

Manic Monday

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington. Today has been a Manic Monday for me. First I had to get up early and take an hour and a half bus ride for a job interview. Not sure how it went but if I didn’t get it, I would not be disappointed. So as of right now I a still unemployment, Not liking the fact I’m not working but it’s a way of things.

On to other things I’m glad I brought a book with me as it took me two hours from my job interview to my doctors office via public transportation just like getting to my job interview. I took book to read on the bus as well as I waited for my job interview and my doctor. Thankfully everything was on time today but I got a lot of reading done in my science fiction book.

When I got home, Billie my cat was thrilled to see me. I cuddled with him as I read more of my book. Reading appears to be helping me right now as it helps me now focus on the reality of what is going on in my world and the rest of the world.

I do not have much more to say in thing particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Take a walk around the blog
  • Go to my grandpa’s house to spend time with him as well as do laundry 
  • Do workbooks relates to my recovery

Monday

  • Mindfulness medication practice
  • Virtual Doctors appointment
  •  Work
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Work on a workbook for my recovery

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on workbook that will help me with my recovery
  • Dinner with another friend

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Attend a 12 step prrotrom

Thursday

  • Mindfulness mindfulness practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on a workbook that will help me with my recovery

Friday

  • Mindfulness mediation practice
  • Walks around the block
  • Work
  • Dinner with a friend

Saturday

  • Plain is to do nothing all and be lazy

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Take nap due to working all night
  • Spend time with my cat Billie Dean
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Walk in the rain

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Walk in the rain
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Tuesday

  • Attend therapy appointment over Zoom
  • Go to see my doctor in person at her office
  • Listen to a podcast

Wednesday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Go to Target or Walmart to buy new sheets for my bed
  • Attend a Zoom meeting

Thursday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Friday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Buy cat litter for my cat Billie Dean
  • Stay up all night to sleep all day Saturday (Watch movies and read)

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Been Exposed & Under Self Quarantine

Good Morning, World!!! It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. There are multiple reasons why I have blogged as well as many excuses but neither the reason or excuse really matter at this moment in time. Or at least they don’t matter to me at the moment.

A lot has happened in the last week alone. I found out last Thursday (July 16th) that I was exposed to Covid-19 the last time I worked which was on Saturday, July 11th. A client of the homeless shelter I work at test positive and am grateful that this person is now at a quarantine site here in the Seattle area.

Anyway since I was exposed, I am under self quarantine and am getting tested later on today (Monday). I made the appointment to get tested right after finding out I was exposed. Another good thing regarding all this is that I had already had a virtual appointment with my doctor made for this past Friday (July 17th) which made it easy for me to talk to my doctor about what to expect regarding the test. She also informed me that she didn’t want me to go work on Saturday (July 18th) till I get tested and the results come back as negative. I informed her that my employer was being very insistent with me going into work to do my regular shift. She and I discussed that if I get fired over going against doctors orders in the midst of a pandemic will make my employer “look bad and is grounds for a lawsuit.” I am just grateful that she has my back and wrote me a note for work. She also advised me to self quarantine which is a no brainer.

Since I am under quarantine till I get tested and the results, I will be spending a lot of time at home. At least I will have my cat, Billie Dean with me. I am so happy that I have Billie especially right now. My doctor and I came up with a plan on things I can do to make sure my mental health doesn’t decline while in self quarantine. We discussed a great deal about my cat Billie Dean and how he will be helpful. I told my doctor that I have plenty of art projects I can do especially in the coloring and collaging genres. I also informed her that I have a lot of reading to catch up on. This brought up the topic of our love of reading and the books I am hoping to read. I also mentioned that I have movies I want to watch and she even suggested some that I might be interested in. We discussed music as well. Specifically we discussed me not playing my flute or harmonica just in case I am positive. This will be challenging for me to do as playing one of my musical instruments especially my flute has been a life saver for me when things get challenging for me. We did discuss that listening to music is an option and will be used. We also discussed me keeping in touch with my therapist and that she will reach out to my therapist and I informed her that I already did which she wasn’t surprised about.

Anyway, my therapist to get back to me this past Friday after talking with my doctor. He was grateful that she and I, both reached out to him regarding me being exposed. We basically discussed similar things my doctor and I talked about regarding keeping myself busy. The last thing he and my doctor want is my mental health to decline while in self quarantine and I don’t blame them. I am worried as well. I am also grateful that we will be doing daily check-ins till I get my test results back. If they come back negative then the daily check-ins will discontinue and I hope my test results will come back negative.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Weekly Check In

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. I did attempt to post and have plenty of unfinished post to prove that I did attempt to do so. I honestly don’t have any excuses to why didn’t finish the post I started.

I guess I will make this post my weekly check in as I was planning to tell you what my week was like anyway. I guess, I will start with Monday. Monday, I went to my doctors appointment and had my annual wellness check done. It was not a fun experience like always because of my trauma history. Anyway, my doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done because my uterus is enlarged and no I am not pregnant. She did a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t even though I already knew due to not being sexually active for well over a year. So, I am waiting on my insurance to “approve” the ultrasound. I am also waiting for insurance to “approve” me for a mammogram even though I am now forty and “shouldn’t need approval” according to the paperwork I have from them but hey we all need to go through this stupid red tape from time to time.

Tuesday, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a med review and that went well. She increased my Ambien to ten milligrams. We briefly discussed how things were going and I was honest with her and informed her about my doctor’s appointment. She thanked me for updating her on my physical health issues.

I also saw my therapist on Tuesday and we ended up discussing a great deal about my annual wellness check up. We discussed this as it was quite triggering to me due to my severe and lengthy trauma history. We also discussed about needing an ultrasound and being “of age” for a mammogram and the emotions that go with all of it. He also brought up the fact that a program called “Path with Art” registration is open for spring classes as he knows I love to do art and be creative as well as trying to build structure to help with my recovery.

Thursday, I went and saw my denturist to get them realigned and adjusted. It went pretty well except my grandpa got upset with the denturist due to the fact the he asked the denturist why I was telling him (my grandpa) that I shouldn’t wear my dentures at night. The denturist explained at length why not. My grandpa was not all that happy with the answer because my grandpa has been wearing his dentures at night for years. My grandpa also brought up some concerns that he and I both had and the denturist put our minds at ease. I am grateful that my grandpa paid for my dentures.

I also saw my therapist for a second time in the same week on Thursday. We discussed shit that was going on in regards to PTSD and anxiety. We also once again discussed signing up for “Path with Art” which I did later in the evening.

In fact when I signed up for Path with Art, I found out I could only take one class which sucks but I understand as it is free and geared toward folks in certain programs/agencies. Part of the registration is to give them your top three choices. My first choice is how to tell a story through comics and I feel like this was (and is) the best first choice for me as I love comics. I hope I get into this particular class as I really want to learn more about comics.

Another thing that happened Thursday was my boss texted me to see if I could work today (Saturday) and I informed him I couldn’t. He said okay and wants to do a one on one supervision with me this coming Wednesday due to not taking shift the last couple of months which I understand why he wants to do it. I am a little fearful that I will be let go but I don’t think that is the case as my employer appears to be cool from my experience and my supervisor did say we were going to talk about availability for his on calls. Plus, if I am to be let go even though it doesn’t seem all that likely at the moment, I will accept the fact about being let go due to the fact of not taking any shifts so in essence, I will be taking responsibility for my own actions.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the potential of being fired but it would be my own fault due to not taking any shifts when I was asked if I could do them. But like I said I don’t think that will be the case as I think they will just give me some kind of warning if it continues and like my supervisor said we will be discussing availability.  Also if it was something more official like being terminated, I am sure he would have sent me an email instead of a text.

I honestly don’t have much more to say except that the weather in Seattle currently sucks. It is windy and rainy outside. It is the type of day to stay inside and read type of day. Or maybe even a binge watch type of day. I most likely will be reading. I really love to read.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog even though I do enjoy blogging. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Boredom Sets In As I Wait For….

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office to see her for our ever two week check up even though I have not seen her since November. Long story short, our schedules didn’t mesh well and the holidays didn’t help with the scheduling. Any way I am sure we will be discussing how things have been going with me both physical health and mental health wise. I am sure we will also be discussing how I have not been using the emergency room on the regular basis and only going to urgent care once as seeing her every two weeks is to help cut down on the amount of times I go to the emergency room. Anyway, one of the things I plan on doing is asking my doctor if she can prescribe me some Ativan for my upcoming dental appointment. Actually, it will be for my oral surgery of taking out all of my teeth. I have anxiety over going to the dentist. I know it sounds a wee bit silly but I do. I know most likely my doctor will not prescribe me the Ativan but at least I will have an answer as if I don’t ask the answer will be an automatic no.

As I wait for my doctor, not only have I been writing this post I have been reading the book Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card. It has been quite helpful to me as I wait to see my doctor. Hell, it was quite helpful to me last night when I was unable to sleep due to sleeping too much for about three days due to depression. I love to read. It helps me get out of my own head space and think about something else for once. It is quite helpful for me and my recovery journey.

I best be ending this particular post as it is getting closer to my appointment time with my doctor. I hope to post more later on today. I hope everyone has a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But The Boring Shit I Did Today

Hello, World!!! It has been a busy Tuesday for me. I had a three appointments today which I am all grateful for. They just wore me out.

I, first had an appointment with my regular doctor for our every two week check up. This is to help keep me out of the Emergency Room for both physical health and mental health stuff. Unfortunately, my next appointment with my doctor is going to me for my oh so not very lovely yearly exam. At least I’m not forty yet so I don’t have to worry about a mammogram as of right now.

I then saw my therapist for our weekly session and it well. We discussed a lot of topic regarding family and holidays. For me that is what needs to be discussed to help me put in a good self care. For me doing self care is especially important any time of the but more so during the holidays. So my therapist and I are going to come up with more ways for good way for me to do good self care when I am at my families places during the holidays.

I then saw my employment specialist. We specifically discussed my job and how it wasn’t turning out like I thought it would be. I’m not guaranteed a shift every week. It is an on call position that is at night. If I had a regular schedule with a I night shift I think I would be fine with it but it is not a regular shift so my employment specialist and I are looking for other jobs for me at the moment. We found one that would be great for me for now. Since my flash drive broke I have to rebuild my resume which is okay for me.

I am attempting to keep this post short as I am sleepy. I hope everyone has had a good Tuesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow (Wednesday). Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bullshit of Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! It is the Sunday after Thanksgiving and this year Thanksgiving was difficult for my family and I as it is the first holiday season with out my grandma. When my grandpa said the prayer before we ate dinner on Thanksgiving he broke down crying which led me to cry.

Speaking of grandpa, he had knee surgery a few weeks ago and right now, I am taking care of him as neither one of my uncles are able to do so at the moment due to them both having to work. It is nice to be able to help him as needed. It is also nice to spend some time with him in general as he is 88 years old. For being 88 years old he is relatively good health with the exception of his recent knee surgery.

Speaking of health, I did see my doctor nearly two weeks ago. She put me on on some antibiotics due to having an abscessed tooth. Unfortunately, I needed to go to the Emergency Room the next day to get my tooth taken out. Good thing the hospital I normally go to is a teaching hospital with a dental school. I see my doctor again this Tuesday as we have appointments every two weeks to help keep me out of the hospital for both physical and mental health.

Speaking of mental health I finally saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner as she kept cancelling due to family emergencies and a death in the family. She apologized profusely about the many cancellations however I was quite understanding of the reasons why. She and I discussed my mental health as well as my psych meds. I informed her overall my meds were working except the new sleeping med which she increased. We also discussed not being able to see my therapist due to him being out sick for three weeks. She informed me that if he wasn’t back the week after Thanksgiving to give her a call to see what she could do about me seeing someone on the interim bases.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to call my psychiatric nurse practitioner regarding as my therapist came back last week, the week of Thanksgiving. I was able to see my therapist the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We discussed a great deal regarding him being gone, my grief regarding it being the first holidays without my grandma and the upcoming holidays and how difficult they are for me due to trauma. Since my therapist is back even though part time we are working on ways to help me get through them. So my next session we are going specifically working on self care tactics so I can stay out of the hospital for psych reasons including the Emergency Room.

As the holidays are upon us, I am thinking on what I am going to give my family for the holidays. I haven’t decided yet but I think I am going to give my dads side a picture of my grandma and my moms side some hand made gifts. I highly dislike giving things that will only be exchanged for something else or gifted out to someone else.

I don’t have much else to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that I have people who read my blog on the regular basis. To you I am the most grateful for. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season even though I know it is challenging for many folks. I hope you all have a wonderful work week as well. Have good rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!