It’s Been a Busy Couple of Weeks

Hello, World!!! It has been almost two weeks since I last posted. I have been busy with a lot of things lately especially job related. I’ve done my three shadowing shifts that I needed to do. In fact it is suppose to be six shadowing shifts however everyone I shadowed informed my supervisor that I don’t need all six shadowing shifts. I still have other training’s I need to do as part of my job. Despite having to do more training’s for work, I still yet to be called to do a shift for someone as I am an on call shelter counselor.

On top of work stuff I have been volunteering at the Warm Line as well as a group facilitator at a peer run agency. Not only am volunteering two places and working I am also volunteering for two local politicians. I am the annoying person who calls you to remind you to vote and to endorse the candidate I am volunteering for. So, yes, I am getting more involved with politics this year. I loved it the last time I did it and have decided to do this year.

I have also been going to doctors appointments every two weeks. This is to help me not go to the emergency room for minor health issues as well as mental health stuff. It appears to be working a great deal as it is keeping me from going to the emergency room for minor health issues.

On top of seeing my regular doctor every two weeks, I am seeing my therapist twice a week.  He is doing this to help me stay out of the emergency room as well the extra support I need right now in regards to my new job. My therapist is amazing. He is just as amazing as Gilbert and Diana were.

Thank you for reading. I hope to be more vigilant when it comes to blogging on the more regular basis. I am grateful for all of you who read my blog regularly. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace out, world!!!

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Hump Day Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! Happy Hump (Wednesday) Day!!! I woke up extremely early this morning due to a fucking nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have attempted many times since waking up to post but am finally in a space to be able to do so.

Just like this morning, I didn’t have a good morning yesterday. In fact my day yesterday (Tuesday) was shitty. I woke up yesterday with strong urges to self harm which I did NOT act on. I thankfully had an appointment my doctor and I was noticeably upset which is rare for my doctor to witness. We discussed the issues of self harm and did a safety plan before we called my therapist. Surprisingly, he picked up and the three of us talked. We decided that I would go see my therapist yesterday for an unexpected session.

When I attended my unexpected session yesterday, my therapist and I spent an hour and a half talking about what the hell was going on with me. We discussed self harm issues of course.  We also discussed how a combination of the grief with my grandma and the stress of starting a new job which could be causing the high urges to self harm. During our unexpected session yesterday we both agreed that me coming in today for my regularly scheduled appointment would be very much needed.

So, when I woke up this morning with a nightmare, I also woke up feeling suicidal and having urges to self harm. So that is when I called the after hours crisis line I am able to call when I am in a crisis. As I talked with the woman on the other end who knows me well, we discussed ways to keep myself safe till I see my therapist later this morning. So, yes, I can keep myself safe till I talk with my therapist and come up with another safety plan with him during our appointment.

Another thing that is keeping me from self harm and dying by suicide is that I have a training I need to be at for work this evening. So, working is actually helping me with keeping myself safe from myself.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I am grateful for all of you because you read my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

(SIDE NOTE: I will NOT attempt to die by suicide and I will NOT harm myself.)

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Co-Facilitate Group (A volunteer gig I have)
  • Spend time with family

Monday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Head to Hotel for conference
  • Help set up last minute stuff for peer conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Attend and Volunteer at Peer Conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Wednsday

  • Blog
  • Attend and volunteer at peer conference
  • Head home after conference is over
  • Spend time with cat when I get home from the conference

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Go to doctor’s appointment
  • General lazy day
  • Spend time with cat, Lil Gertie

Friday

  • Blog
  • Job interview
  • Spend time with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Spend time with friends
  • Volunteer at the Warm Line

 

The Migraine From Hell

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have the migraine from hell. It is so bad I called my regular doctor to see if I could see her today or any other provider in the clinic. Unfortunately, everyone was booked up so she suggested I go to the Emergency Room. She also suggested that I have someone take me just in case the hospital gives me meds.

I did all my usual stuff to help reduce the migraine or even to make it go away but nothing has worked. I took over the counter pains meds which do shit for a migraine but it was worth a shot. So I took my Immitrex and the first dose did shit as well as the second dose. I have shut all the blinds in hopes that the darkness would help lessen the pain and it has. The shower I took only lessened the pain for about an hour. I have also been trying to sleep my migraine away but that didn’t help much. I informed my doctor of all this which is why she suggested that I go to the Emergency Room.

I am now waiting on family to pick me to take me to the hospital in hopes they can do something about the pain. In fact it is my grandpa that is picking me up to take me to the hospital. I hope he doesn’t mind waiting forever and a day in the Emergency Room for my migraine.

As I am waiting for my grandpa to pick me up my cat, Lil Gertie, is cuddling right beside me. Her cuddling right beside me is helping quite a bit with the anxiety I am feeling going back to the Emergency Room.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope to update you as soon as I am able to do so. Mainly when I am feeling slightly better than I am now. I really do appreciate you all reading my blog. Have a great Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

I Haven’t Been Back To Sleep & Feeling Like Shit

Good Morning, World!!! It is three thirty in the morning and still haven’t been back to sleep since my five hour nap. Not having enough sleep affects my mental health. When my mental health is affected, shit can hit the fan quite quickly. It is not my mental health that I am worried about right now. It is my physical health that is worrying me. I have a major migraine that won’t go away plus my asthma is acting up.

Due to lack of sleep and multiple health conditions acting up, I am thinking I might have a friend or family member take me to the hospital to get checked out. Or maybe I should wait and call my doctors office later in the morning to see if I can see her sooner than next Thursday (August 30th).  I’ve also been vomiting like it it going out of style. I am taking Pepto Bismal for the nausea but it is not working for the stupid vomiting.

At least my cat is by my side. Lil Gertie is trying her best to keep me calm. In fact she is doing a good job at it. I should get going an cuddle more with my cat and see if someone can take me to the hospital. If nobody can take me to the hospital then I will have to wait to my doctor’s office opens later in the morning.  Now it’s time to cuddle with my cat, Lil Gertie. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle Due to an Asthma Attack

Right now, I don’t want to wish anyone a good fucking morning as I am sitting in a hospital bed dealing with an asthma attack. I have been dealing with asthma as long as I can remember and this is the worst attack that I have had in several years. I blame it on the poor air quality due to all the smoke the wild fires are burning.

The thing that pisses me off the most is the doctor thought I was faking it to make it look more like an anxiety attack to get some strong anti-anxiety meds but boy was he wrong when the nurse looked over me and stated that it’s a real case of asthma. The doctor was not too happy with the nurse but the nurse saved my life by doing her actual job when doctor really didn’t do anything at all.

As I sit here at my laptop, I am receiving some breathing treatments. They appear to be working as it seems like I am breathing better. The nurse should be back shortly to see how things are going for me.

Hopefully, I won’t be here too much longer. I hope your Tuesday starts off better than my Tuesday has. I can’t wait to get back home to my cat, Lil Gertie. I am sure she (my cat) is wondering where the hell I am.

Thank you for reading my sickly post. I will be better in no time. Have a great Tuesday and thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Feeling All That Well

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two in the morning on a Sunday in my corner of the world. I am spending the night at my grandpa’s house. I am not feeling so well. I am thinking I might wake up either my uncle or my grandpa to take me to the hospital as my stomach is in knots. Actually, where my appendix is, is where it hurts like hell and I feel like  I am going to vomit.  I think I am going to cut this post short at wake up my family to take me to the hospital. Better safe than sorry when it comes to ones appendix.

On a side not the Mariners beat the Dodgers in the tenth inning. Just wanted to add something other than me not feeling all that well.

I sure get going and get to the hospital. My family will take me. I hope everyone has a better start to their Sunday than me. Have a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!