Good Morning, World!!! It is just after four in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not slept a wink all night. It is kind of frustrating as I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family today and then head off to my moms later this evening. I just don’t want to be a cranky bucket for anyone in my family.
I most definitely don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am at mom’s as she and my uncle want me to go to the midnight church service with them to bring in Christmas. I don’t consider myself Christian but if my mom wants me to go to church as part of her Christmas gift from me to here I might as well. It won’t hurt me going just this once.
In fact I have been looking into Buddhism for awhile now and am going to start attending a Buddhist temple in the new year. Or at least that is my goal at the moment. I know Buddhism and Christianity don’t go hand and hand but I can respect other people’s religion. My mom doesn’t like the fact that I have been looking into Buddhism which is why I think she want me to go to church as part as my gift to her.
I best be going. I am hoping to at least get some sleep in. I hope everyone has a good holiday if you celebrate Christmas. Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! I have more randomness to discuss. Let’s talk about the government. They, specifically, Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS) are cutting off paying for my medicare premiums which I think is a mistake on their part. Then my spend down went from two hundred to four thousand dollars. How can one afford health care with out the help of DSHS. I don’t qualify for certain insurance because I have Medicare but I can afford the premiums for Medicare. How am I suppose to get health care now? No sense in worrying about it now. I’ll call them tomorrow when I have time. Oh ya, I lost my food stamps all together now because DSHS thinks I make double of what I make now which I think is a computer glitch on their end which is why I am going to call them tomorrow.
On that note, I am still playing email tag about setting up a time next week for a job interview. A job that I really want to get and have. It is only one to two shifts a week and each shift is twelve hours. It is an over night shift but I am okay with it. I just hope I really get the interview soon and the job as quickly as possible.
I’m wondering if the universe and it’s gods and goddesses are putting me through this to make me a stronger person. A person to be a much better advocate not just for myself but for others. An advocate for those who can’t speak up for themselves or haven’t had a chance to find their voice yet. I hope and pray to the universe full of Goddesses and Gods that I become what I want to become, a voice for those who haven’t found theirs yet. It is also my hope that I find the job that is meant for me
Thank for reading more of my randomness shit. I hope you all aren’t getting sick of it. I surely am getting sick of it. On the plus side its getting people to read my blog and have had a hand full of people follow my blog today.
I know things will work out for me. They always do even if it’s not as quick as I would like it to be. I am slowly learning patience in my recovery. Thank you all for being apart of my recovery.
Thank you so much for reading. It means a great deal to me and I am appreciative of it. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I am sleepless in Seattle once again. It has nothing to do with Lil Gertie wanting to play at this hour of the day. It has everything to do with the insomnia that I am experiencing. Insomnia sucks!!!
Since my last post, I have not only attempted to sleep but I have read. I am reading about Buddhism. It is helping me be at peace with myself and the world as a whole. The more I read about Buddhism, the more I realize it is the right spiritually for me. Having faith in something is quite helpful for me as an individual as well as my recovery.
I am going to go now. I am going to play with Lil Gertie as she appears to be playful at the moment. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t been back to sleep since my last post. I have been busy since my last post. I read a little bit. I read about Buddhism. If you regularly read my blog you know I have been looking into Buddhism. I am looking into it as I haven’t really been searching spiritual wise the last couple of years. Spirituality is a part of being in recovery. Being in recovery is something I have aspired to be and have been for quite some time. Yes, I have had bumps in the road. Yes, I have fallen however I have picked myself up and wiped myself off.
Being in recovery means doing things that are difficult. For me doing workbooks is quite challenging for me as it pushes me to aspire to be the person I am meant to be. This morning, I have chosen to work on the workbook that focuses me being queer and resilient. Being able to push myself with my gender identity, queerness and resiliency goes right along with my values in my personal recovery path with mental health challenges.
Being in recovery is a major deal for me. I was informed that I would never be in recovery from a mental health condition because my symptoms were so severe. Never tell me I can’t do something because I end up proving you wrong with being able to do it.
Thank you for reading. Have a nice Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I woken up by Lil Gertie. She licked me smack dab on the nose. Some how this cat knows when I am having a nightmare or some other symptom of PTSD. I’m not sure how she knows but she knows.
I think once I am done blogging this post, I will read. Read about Buddhism. I am learning so many different things about this religion. A religion that knows that you’re going to struggle yet doesn’t shame or guilt you into a being something you are not. It encourages you to strive to be the best you are.
Having a faith in something spiritual is key to being in recovery for anyone. It doesn’t have to be Buddhism or even Christianity. Just as you have faith in something. For me it is Buddhism. Or at least for now it is because I am looking into it, to make sure it is the right faith for me.
Thank you for reading. Have a good morning. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment and it has nothing to do with my cat and every thing to deal with the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Dealing with a mental health condition is not my idea of fun yet I have learned a great deal from them. I have learned that acceptance of oneself is not easy however you can still have fun despite all the challenges the conditions bring.
For an example; painting can be fun. I love to paint. I am painting an abstract version of my cat for my grandpa per his request. My grandpa loves the idea that I am painting. He thinks it is a great way to express myself in a healthy and productive way.
Something else that being in recovery brings to me is faith. Or at least searching for a particular faith. Right now I have been reading books on Buddhism. It has given me some hope and peace that I have been looking for. Some people in my life may not like the idea that I am looking into Buddhism but they are grateful that I am searching for some type of faith even if it is not their faith.
I have been working on my strengths based recovery workbook. That part that I am working on is about attitudes. That attitudes that it is discussing at the moment is hope and courage. I am thrilled that I decided to get this workbook as I have been finding it quite helpful to me as well as to my recovery.
I find it amazing that being able to write in the middle of the night can come easy to me. Maybe it is because I am naturally a night owl or that I am more creative at night. Whatever the reason, I am glad that I can express myself in a healthy way. A way that my old therapist, Diana, would be proud of me.
Thank you for reading. Have a great morning and Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I don’t think Lil Gertie realizes it is Sunday. Sunday is meant to either sleep in or go to a religious service and sometimes both. For me it is meant to sleep in. If you read my blog regularly you know sleep doesn’t come easy for me.
I think what I am going to do is attempt to go back to sleep. Especially since Lil Gertie is taking a cat nap at the moment.
I will also be reading. Reading two books on Buddhism. One is called Why Buddhism Is True while the other book is Buddhist Scriptures. Right now I am looking into Buddhism and it is giving me hope and a sense of peace. A Peace that I need at the moment.
Thank you for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here typing this post, it is three o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I have attempted to sleep on several occasions tonight but unable to do so.
Since I have been unable to sleep I turned on my favorite podcast Philosophize This. The two podcast I listened to was about Saint Augustine and Buddha while sorting out the end pieces from a jigsaw puzzle that I am going to start. Anyway, I found that both Christianity and Buddhism played a major role in Philosophy especially modern day philosophy. I love listening to this particular podcast as it gives me different points of views in a non judgmental and non conforming way. A way that doesn’t shove shit down your throat.
Now that I am done discussing religion for the time being, I am going to get going. I am going to work on the jigsaw puzzle while listening to a podcast on philosophy. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!!
Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world and I have a lot on my mind. Some things are serious while other things are just normal everyday worries. All the things on my mind are not what is keeping me up.
I am up because I am wanting to and am watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Watching something that has humor such as The Tonight Show helps me be able to sleep at night. Being able to laugh before bed has something helpful in it and am grateful that I have learned this about myself.
I have been reading Star Wars: Heir To The Empirebook. I am really enjoying it. In fact I am nearly finished with it. I hope to do a book review on it when I am done with the book. The cool thing about this book it is part of a trilogy.
I think I am liking the fact that I am looking into Buddhism. It is giving me a hope and a faith I didn’t have. I am not saying I didn’t have hope; I am saying I am having a new found hope. Having a faith in any particular religion helps folks with their recovery.
Thank you for reading. I will now get back to watching The Tonight Show. Peace Out, World. Goodnight.
Hello, World!!! I am struggling a little right now. I am struggling with anxiety and PTSD. A struggle that I know I can get through. I can get through with the use of my skills. Specifically, DBT skills.
One of those skills is painting. I will be painting to help express the emotions that I am feeling at the moment. Emotions that I have trouble verbalizing out loud or even on paper or computer screen.
Another skill I can do that is helpful to me is mindfulness. Mindfulness helps calm my anxiety right down. Mindfulness also gives me a sense of peace. A peace the Buddhism is giving me as I look into it.
Looking into Buddhism is giving me a faith and hope that I have been searching for. A faith that has been a long time coming.