Monthly Archives: November 2021

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

Posted on by Gertie

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Anxiety & Love

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly midnight in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. The weather in Seattle has been quite sucky the last week including right this moment.

The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression and my anxiety isn’t helping the depression as well. I can tell you that the unconditional love I am receiving from my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a loving cat who loves to cuddle and that helps with both my anxiety and depression a great deal.

Another thing that is helping with the depression and anxiety is listening to a podcast about philosophy. A podcast that I am being educated on in philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really feel like I am getting an education oh philosophy from this podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Loved

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! Today, I am feeling loved. I am feeling loved by my friends and family. Let’s start with me getting home from work. My grandpa and uncle had come over and helped clean up a little bit of my apartment. They didn’t have to do this but they did and I feel loved my this.

Another way I am feeling loved is that some of my friends who are neighbors made me dinner and invited me over to eat dinner with them. Spending time with people who care about me while eating good food makes me feel loved.

Last but not least, my cat, Billie Dean always gives me love. Billie’s love for me is unconditional. Anyone who has ever had a pet knows the unconditional love an animal is able to give.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Geeking Out of Weird Ass Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

‘Good Evening, World!!! It appears to me that I am geeking out on podcast. Specifically a podcast on philosophy. The podcast I am geeking out on is “Philosophize This.” I feel like I am getting some education on the topic of philosophy. I am really enjoying this podcast and have the ability to get some form of education on philosophy.

I am not only Geeking out on podcast about philosophy, I am geeking out on comic books. I am geeking out reading Wonder Woman comic books. Being able to geek out on comic books is quite helpful with dealing with my anxiety and depression.

Another thing that I am geeking out on is my cat Billie Dean. I am such a geek when it comes to cats. Especially my own cat, Billie. I love Billie so very much. He is such a love bug as well as a cuddle bug.

Everything I have mentioned in this particular blog post, I geek out on because they help me deal with my anxiety and depression. Knowing what helps cope with my mental health diagnosis is always a good thing.

I do not have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Comfort of My Cat, Billie Sitting in My Lap

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been not one of my best days at work. It also hasn’t been one of my worst days at work. The type of day I had at work is like riding a rollercoaster that goes upside down on three different occasions. Not get me wrong I love riding rollercoasters for fun. I just don’t like when my work day feels like a rollercoaster. I hope I am making sense with what I am trying to convey.

Anyway, I had an uncomfortable interaction with a colleague today. Not meaning to offend this colleague because I admire this person. So, long story short, I was able to check in with my supervisor who validated my experience and informed me that I didn’t do anything wrong. My direct supervisor is finally back from FMLA and she is awesome. My temporary supervisor is awesome as well. Hell, all the supervisors are amazing and feel supported by them as well as the clinical director.

One of the best parts of my job, the clinicians come to me for advice on help to help the clients we serve at my employers. It feels good when people come to me to be of help for our clients. It also feels odd at times when the lead peer specialist most likely would be the best bet to go to for advice regarding helping clients. Sadly, the lead peer specialist isn’t my biggest fan which I won’t discuss here but I do admire her. She has some awesome insight on things that I know nothing about. I love learning things from the lead peer specialist despite her not liking me.

On that note my colleagues are quite supportive. My colleagues gave me the encouragement I needed and was not expecting it. I am glad that my colleagues are beyond awesome.

Now that I am off work, I am writing this particular blog post with my cat, Billie Dean, on my lap as I listen to a podcast on philosophy. The podcast of the philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning a lot about philosophy from the podcast I am listening to.

Another thing I am learning philosophy from is the book is “The Republic and Other Works” by Pluto. I feel like I am getting a great education about philosophy from the book I am reading. I love learning and educating myself.

As far as my cat Billie Dean, he is still laying curled up in my lap. He knows that my day has had some stress in it so he is trying to get me to be more mindful of the present versus the past even the recent past such as my work day today. I love my cat, Billie so much and that he gives me unconditional love even though I do not deserve the unconditional love he gives me. I so love how is is such a cuddly love but of a a cat.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

Too Tired to Write (& to Sleep)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am just way too tired to write much less sleep. Hell, I am even too tired too tired to focus on the anxiety and depression I have dealing with. First I get woken up by a neighbor pulling the fire alarm due to other neighbors not wearing their mask.

Now I am dealing with three neighbors who live on my floor in different apartments screaming at each other for bullshit reasons. I all I want is to go to sleep. It’s bad enough that I have insomnia but my neighbors sure haven’t been helping me with the sleep I need tonight, It is frustrating as fucking hell that I am unable to sleep.

Despite not being able to sleep, I have been listening to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I have been listening to the philosophy podcast called “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much from this podcast and feel like I am getting an informal education from in it.

I am also feeling that I am getting an informal education from reading the book by Plato called “The Republic and Other Works.” It’s about Plato’s theory on philosophy and I feel like I am learn a lot from this book as well as the podcast I am listening to. I feel like reading about and listening to a podcast is giving me an education I would be getting if I was not able to sleep for various reasons.

Of course, my cat Billie Dean is now wanting me to give him some attention. Hopefully the type of attention to help me fall back to sleep. I love my cat Billie so much. He is such a sweet cuddle bug of a cat.

I do not now have much more to discuss in this particular blog post as I am too tired to write any more. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

Fire Alarmed Pulled = Anger

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! UGH!!! I am currently angry as hell. I am angry because a neighbor pulled the fire alarm several times because other neighbors were not wearing their mask. I don’t understand why someone would continue to do this especially in the middle of the fucking night. I know I personally get annoyed with other not wearing their mask but I don’t pull the fire alarm. I am getting aggravated with this neighbor pulling the alarm because others are not wearing their mask.

Not only did the Seattle Fire Department show up but the Seattle Police Department showed up. SPD showed up because this isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm system due to other neighbors not wearing mask. Sadly, SPD isn’t arresting this dude for various reasons which sucks shit. The fire fighters are getting just as angry over this just like myself and my neighbors.

Billie Dean, my cat has been a trooper through all this. He didn’t fight with getting into his carrier which I am so very proud of him for do this. I love my cat so much. Sadly, we had to wait outside instead of inside of the lobby and community room area’s. It was called and rainy outside and let not forget the wind.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Doing Okay

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m now not doing okay but I know everything will turn our okay or better than okay. My cat Billie Dean has been doing his just quite well with be an awesome emotional support animal. Billie is an awesome great ESA for me and am forever grateful that he chose me.

Billie has been trying is best in trying help me with my current art project. Specifically, I am coloring. I am coloring some pretty awesome pictures that I hope to share with you all the art work when I am finished with them as well as if I remember to day so. I love to coloring.

Having Anxiety and depression sucks which is why I do art work and cuddle with my cat, Billie. As I sit hear coloring, i have been listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and feel like a am getting a great education I am getting from listening to it.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thigs that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would nt be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

A So So Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have been having a so so type of day. Partly because my anxiety and depression symptoms are acting up. Another part is I went back to work today after taking the last two days off (Monday and Tuesday) from work due to increased symptoms of the anxiety and depression. The HR department at my employer is amazing. They have been working with me since the day I accepted the job offer nearly a year ago. Hell, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I accepted this awesome job.

On that note, HR is amazing but sadly, I had a negative interaction with a colleague that many people at my employer admire including myself. Anyway, the interaction I had with this admired colleague put me in a loop. A loop that I feel like is going to spiral in a downward spiral. That’s why I notified HR via email and will hopefully hear back from HR sometime tomorrow since it took me all day to decide if I needed to bring HR into this matter.

Now, that I am off from work for the day, I have decided to not watch television as I could use a different form of background noise so I decided. The background noise I am listening to is something that I actually listen to which is a podcast. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. In fact the philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much about philosophy from this podcast and feel like I am getting an education from it.

While listening to this podcast, I am cuddling with my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is making it challenging to do some art work but that is okay. The type of art work I am doing is painting as well as collaging. I’m intertwining the two genre’s together. Usually, it comes out okay but this piece is coming out quite amazingly. As far a Billie, my cat, goes, I am glad he is being cuddly with me today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!