Keeping Busy to Stay in a Neutral State of Mind

Hello, World from Seattle. It has been one of them days where trying to be in a neutral state of mind has been challenging. It has been challenging due to some negative shit, I have experienced the last few weeks. Yes, I would prefer to be in a good state of mind however I will and am more than okay to be in a neutral state of mind.

I started off the day cuddling with my cat Billie. In fact that appears to be an everyday thing. An everyday thing I don’t mind especially since it is how I start my day. I am more than sure that Billie enjoys starting his day cuddling with me.

After cuddling with my cat, Billie, I worked on a Mindfulness workbook. As I was working on the mindfulness workbook, I realized that my morning cuddles or any cuddles with Billie is mindfulness. So, I guess I do mindfulness everyday as I cuddle with Billie. Even though I do mindfulness daily, I am still going to work on the mindfulness workbook daily till it is finished.

I, of course did all that before getting ready and going to volunteer at PAWS Cat City. I really enjoy volunteering at Cat City. In fact it is one of the highlights of my week. Even though I have my own cat, I enjoy spending time with the cats at Cat City. In fact I enjoy spending time with the kittens and the senior cats. On that note, spending time with the kittens reminds me why I prefer the adult and senior cats especially to have one as a family member.

When I arrived home after volunteering I had packages at my door from Amazon. One of which was For Dummies book for basic math and pre-algerbra. So, I worked on for about a half an hour and the next half an hour I worked on my other For Dummies book which is on U.S History. I’m still waiting on two more educational Books for Dummies. I am doing the For Dummies books because I have forgotten most of what I learned or I never learned it in school.

After “educating myself,” I decided to be creative. First I did some art work. The art I am doing is coloring a poster for my mom. After coloring, I decided to do some crafting by doing latch hook. I am really enjoying doing the latch hook. I am currently doing a latch hook with a cat on it and it is to wipe your feet with before entering your home. I am not sure what I’m going to do with it when I am done with it.

Well, I’m looking at the time and it is time for dinner. That means it is time to end this particular blog post and go eat. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. That is why it is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Frustrated w/Noisy & Aggressive Neighbors

Hello, World!!!! I’m frustrated with my neighbors. Actually, I am furious with one particular neighbor who started some shit with another neighbor for no reason. I finally got to bed and sleep at a decent time when I got woken up by a neighbor screaming for help. A disabled neighbor started beating my other neighbor with a crutch for no reason at all. When I heard the screaming I opened my door and looked into the hallway and witnessed what was going on. When I noticed my neighbor being hit by another neighbor and their crutch, I called 911 and I was not the only one who did. My neighbor who was injured went to the hospital. The other neighbor doing the violence got arrested and screamed the entire time.

On that note I’m not sure if I can go back to sleep at the moment. I just don’t know which neighbors to trust now but at least I know which neighbors are my friends. The neighbor who got attacked is a friend. The neighbor who did the attack will no longer be trustworthy and will no longer be a friend of mine.

Since I’m not sure if I’m going to go back to sleep anytime soon, I will seek comfort from my cat, Billie. Billie is really great at comforting me in hard moments. I’m so happy to have a pet to comfort me and keep me company.

Since I am not sure if I will be able to go to sleep right away, I will be applying for jobs. Even jobs I may not want but I need the money to help pay for bills. I’m running low on money. But that’s enough about this topic.

I’m thinking I might do something creative. Not sure if I will color, latch hook or cross stitch. All three get me relaxed. I most likely will either color a cross stitch.

I don’t have much more to say but thank you for reading my post. Peace Out and Good Night, World!!!

Day of Creativity & Time w/My Cat, Billie

Happy Tuesday after a three day weekend here in the United States for most people due to Labor day. Billie appears to be in an active mood. I hope this means good luck for my job interview tomorrow. If I get it it willl be three four hour shift. I just hope I don’t get stuck with an over night shift which 12 hours long and can have up to three of those shift. I might do one evey once in a while and very rarely like an emergency.

Tooday, I am hanging out with Billlie and play with him in between learning new crafting skills of latch hooking. I am not getting it today being extra cuddly and playful. I so love my creative times when Billlie tries to help.

I should practice on my interview tomorrow as well as play with Billie. I also want to practice on my creativity project. Have a great Teuesday everyone.

Unemployment Sucks; Family & Friends Rock

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s evening time here in Seattle and I am feeling a little depressed while dealing with some PTSD. I have been sleeping off and on all day due to the depression and PTSD. Personally, I think being unemployed is was is helping the depression a little bit. I really need a job to help keep myself busy which help with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis.

On the plus side when I haven’t been sleeping most of the day family and friends have been checking up on me. Some of my friends and neighbors have been feeding me. My grandpa gave me money to buy some art and crafting supplies to keep myself busy and hopefully awake during the day. So, I got some coloring stuff like colored pencils and markers as well as some of those giant and detailed coloring posters. I also got some crafting stuff as well. I got some latch hook crafting. I’ve never done latch hook so I want to try something knew and who knows I might have some done before the holidays to give as gift. Of course 98% of the latch hook stuff I’m get to make happen to be cats which isn’t surprising since I own a cat. Actually, I feel like my cat is more like a family member that me owning him.

As far as the unemployment part of life they are being challenging right now. I am on the job hunt and applying for jobs and getting interviews. It’s just the waiting game on hearing back if I’m going to get an interview or a job. Patience is not my virture.

I don’t have much else to say except my cat Billie is wanting to sit on my lap and my laptop is getting in his way. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So , thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still No Sleep In Seattle

It is now 12:29 in the afternoon here in Seattle. I still have not been to sleep and I am cranky as fucking hell. I’ve been ready some magazines about mindfulness and meditation that seems to be helping. They seem to be helping because that have some journaling accepts to them which is pretty cool. I am also reading a magazine specifically geared to be more creative and want to be more creative.

That sad part of all this is since I am lacking sleeping my comprehension skills suck shit right now. I think I am going to call this a post and end it for now now. I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Early Saturday Morning Post

Good Morning, World!!! It is five thirty eight in the morning on a Saturday and you are most likely thinking why I am up before the butt crack of dawn. I am up before the butt crack of dawn  because I work tonight, Saturday, a twelve and a half hour shift. Thankfully, it is only one shift a week even though I am still considered on call staff but have it slightly easier advantage than other on calls due to the fact is I am able to say no to taking other shifts than the two other new on calls due to having one regular shift a week. It was actually nice to know that I am now not the only on-call and that I have slightly more rights to say no to taking on shift due to the fact I work every Saturday. It is still preferred that I do take one on call shift once every two months. Specifically my boss wants me to focus on Saturdays and emergency call outs such as a family emergency, someone being sick and stuff like that. Of course every on-call is required do that however I might still be able to to be asked to cover someone’s shift if they are on vocation or “spontaneously moving” or taking a mental health day. I just don’t have to “feel obligated” to do so. I am liking the regular shift despite find out that I am still on-call but it looks good on the resume. I did apply for a peer position job that I think that would be a good fit for me and applied for it both Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I haven’t received a call back and I am not expecting one due not being employed as a peer for two years now and that I didn’t have a job for a year and half which is why I am still at my current job. It is easier to get your resume to be looked at my a human if you have work and/or volunteering. I do both which is a good. thing for the resume.

I have been awake all night due to the fact I have to work tonight (Saturday) and have to sleep during the day. I am not a big fan of sleeping during the day or working twelve and a half hour night shift but at least it is a job. So as my Saturday goes, I will be sleep most of the day. Sleep I could have done last night but I want to go to work well rest. Even if I wasn’t working tonight I don’t think I could have slept due to my stupid insomnia so lets hope I can sleep during the day and not have my insomnia involved.

I pretty much listened t music most of the night music that would be helpful since I decided to be creative tonight by doing various types of art. Mainly coloring and painting with limited collaging due to the lack of magazines and newspapers. I put on my grunge rock play list that has  some many various musicians that it would take too long to post who was all on my music playlist. My grunge music play list did help my with my creativity in regards to my art work. My coloring pages are coming out nicely despite it taking longer than expected. My painting slowly but surely becoming a picture that I am going to be happy with.

As far as my cat goes, she has been much appreciated that I have been up and awake during her waking hours. Lil Gertie, my cat sure likes the idea that I play with her more at night than during the day but she does play with me during the day. Lil Gertie is jut more active at night than during the day. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much I don’t know what life would be like without her. I hope she lives a long life as she is only seven years old.

I do not have much more to say as I am getting tired and most likely need to get to bed so I can sleep during the day on what is suppose to be a beautiful Saturday. I might not be able to enjoy the beautiful weather but I am okay with that as I work an over night shift at a homeless shelter. I am grateful for my job and really need to go so I can get some sleep. Lets hope my insomnia doesn’t continue or I will be cranky bucket at work. I would like to thank you for the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and awesome weekend. You my readers a blessing to me and greatly appreciate each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

A Creative Type of Day Due to Mindfulness

Good Afternoon, World!!! Well, it must be one of those days where I am able to be creative and I am enjoying this immensely. I am extremely grateful that I have been able to be creative today.

One of the ways I have been creative today is by painting. I, finished two painting that I am really proud of. In fact of the paintings my cat accidentally helped me with. She stepped in some paint and then walked on the canvas which I think is very cool and unique. Sadly, I had to give her a quick bath in the sink before paint fully dried on her paws and fur. She is not a big fan of taking a bath but at least she “helped” me create an awesome painting even though that was not her intention. Maybe, one day I will share this painting with you someday.

Another way I have been creative today is that I have written several poems. Something I love to do yet struggle to do because I never feel like they are good enough. Sadly, I tend to throw away a good portion of my poetry due to the fact that I don’t think they are worthy of being read. I have been having others such as a good friend of mine hold on to my poetry as I hope that someday I can create a book full of my poetry.

Another way I have been creative today is play my flute. I love playing my flute and just like coloring, it is form of mindfulness for me. Playing the flute has been a life saver for me since I started playing at age twelve. It has helped and still helps me with my mental health challenges. It also helped me make friends in school as I was in the junior high and high school bands. And being in band is what helped me graduate high school. So you can say that playing the flute helped me graduate high school even though I am really not that good at playing it.

I think the reason why I have been so creative today is because I have done several mindfulness exercises today. I have done some much mindfulness today because of my anxiety and am learning that mindfulness not only helps with my anxiety but helps me be creative. I am grateful that I am slowly getting back into mindfulness on the daily basis.

I do not have much else to say. I hope to blog again this evening and if not then tomorrow. Have a great rest of you day. Peace Out, World!!!

Dissociative State = Creative Brain & A Loving Cat Wanting to Help

Hello, World!!!! Why in the fuck do I have be dissociating at the moment especially since I am wanting to be in a creative groove. I think, I will be in the creative groove. My art may not come out like I would want but it might turn out better. As for writing I can incorporate it to some of the art I am doing. Kind of like poetry. I could even work on my storytelling comics and use some collaging. I have so many idea when it come to my creative side.

I think when I am out of this dissociated state, I will have some awesome art work and writings that might have some poetry. May my next post will be the art work I have done or the poetry that was written.

I hope that I can be creative after this post. That is my goal. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!