Tough Evening

Hello, World!!! This evening has been a rough one despite it being a good day. It has been rough because my PTSD. PTSD that appears to not be letting up at the moment. So this is when my coping skills box comes in handy. Skills that will be quite helpful for me to do once I am done blogging.

I think that reading might be a helpful coping skill for me to do right. Reading helps me get out of my head. Reading also helps my PTSD symptoms subside even for a brief moment or two.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

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Therapy + Comics = Good Session

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize I already told you little about my session today with my therapist in my last post (https://gertiesjourney.com/2018/04/17/thankfully-not-hospitalized/) but I would like to share a little more about it as I think it helped my therapist build a rapport with me. Besides talking about my parents and their addictions we discussed comics. We discussed comics because I wore a Wonder Woman t-shirt and hat today. I told my therapist that I collect Wonder Woman comics and then we ended up talking about comic book universes. My therapist is more into Marvel and I am more into DC even though we both like a little of both universes. My therapist asked if reading comics was in my crisis plan and something I do end stead of self harming and I said yes to both. We discussed how comics have played a major role in my recovery and he assigned me to read one comic book a day as part of some homework. Another part of my homework he wants me to create a coping skills tool box out of a shoe box even though I more or less have my backpack full of coping skills I use. He even gave me a shoe box to start it. He is having me do this because he knows I enjoy doing art and to help me think about my coping skills. He also wants me to write a page on how making the coping skills box made me feel and what my experience was making it.

I am grateful that my new therapist is coming up with creative ways to help me help myself. I may not like having therapy homework but I am grateful to have it as it gives me an opportunity to grow and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling slightly better now that my apartment is clean. Having a clean apartment is helping with the depression but it’s still hanging over my head. As much as depression sucks shit, knowing what helps, helps subside the depression.

As challenging as my depression has been lately, making active decisions to stay in recovery is difficult yet well worth. Being in recovery is not easy but it is so much better than being miserable and not being in recovery.

Now that I am done cleaning, I am going to read. I am going to read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am enjoying the book immensely. If you are into fantasy or science fiction fan then I highly recommend the book.

After reading I might work on a workbook. Not sure which workbook I will work on but I will work on one as I feel the need to focus on my recovery. It is a way for me to fight off the depression. Hell, reading is to.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Anger = Call to Therapist

Good Afternoon, World!!! As much as I love my family, they are driving me nuts right now. Driving me nuts over petty shit that I shouldn’t let get to me but I do.

I talked with my new therapist about this and he suggested some things for me to do so I am not so angry with them. The cool thing about everything is that he knew what questions to ask about me and my anger. He now knows that me calling when I am angry is a good. This is a way for me to be preventative to do self harm urges and self harm acts. Thankfully, the anger toward my family didn’t lead to self harm urges which is why I was being preventative.

Something that my therapist and I came up with is to keep my mind busy so reading and books. I found out that my therapist is also an avid reading. His enjoys science fiction and fantasy genres. Knowing something as simple as this helps me with trusting my therapist. Talking about ways to not be so angry and books with my therapist helped lessened the anger a great deal.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World.

Having A Tough Evening

Hello, World!!! As the title of my post suggest, I am having a tough evening. An evening full of depression and grief. I’m still grieving over the death of my grandma. It hasn’t even been a two months since she passed away and I miss her so much, more and more everyday.

Something that I have been doing to help myself is my DBT skills.  Specifically, I have been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. If you are a Fantasy and/or Science Fiction fan, you would enjoy the book. In fact it is the first book in The Liveship Traders Trilogy. 

I am a huge fan of book series. I am a fan of series because I really get into the world the author created as well as the characters. Sometimes I cry at the end of a series because saying goodbye to the world and character of the author’s creation is difficult for me to do. Yes, I know it is not real however sometimes you spend more time with the series than your own family.  Or at least for me it is true.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

All I Can Say Is That It’s Monday

Good Evening, World!!! The title of this post says it all. Today, I had a “team meeting” with my now old case manager and Gilbert, who is now my old therapist and met with my new clinician. Not sure what to think of my new clinician but he appears to be a little timid. I just hope he is as direct with me as my case manager and Gilbert as directness is quite helpful for me.

Something else I did was go to Art Group. I love art. We were to paint one big flower to cover the page. I didn’t do that as I wanted to create a field of flowers. It didn’t come out as planned but I like it because I made a couple of focal points in my painting.

When I came home I read a chapter in my book. I am really enjoying my book and grateful that I now have the concentration to now focus on reading. Once, I am done blogging I think I am going to go back to reading. Right now my favorite genre is Fantasy (as well as Science Fiction) and proud of being considered a “geek” due to the genre.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression Biting Me in the Ass

Represent a dog biting a man butt.

Good Morning, World!!! My depression is biting me in the fucking ass at the moment. Biting me in the ass severe enough that I am isolating myself from people. People that want to help but right now I am needing my space. Space from the world.

Spending time away from other people has me thinking about blogging. I am thinking about re-doing courses I have done and enjoyed doing that WordPress puts on for free. I am not sure which course I am going to re-do at the moment or if I am going to do multiple at the same time. I just know that when I do a course I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish an assignment and the course.

Something else that gives me a sense of accomplishment is reading. There is something rewarding when get to the next chapter or find something new out about a character or the plot. Right now I am reading the Liveships Traders Trilogy by Robin Hobb. I am really getting into it as well as the characters.

When it comes to reading I prefer book series as it keeps me more interested in reading especially when I was a child and teenager. I don’t mind stand alone books, I just prefer book series. The characters tend to grow on me and I don’t really like saying goodbye which is why I prefer book series over stand alone books.

Thank you very much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!