Tag Archives: Anxiety

Depression & Anxiety Suck Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is another Sunday afternoon here in Seattle. Thankfully, it is a Sunday of a three day weekend because tomorrow (Monday) is Presidents Day here in the United States. Not sure why we have a Presidents Day but I’m grateful that I don’t have to work and get paid for doing nothing. I would rather be working tomorrow but I have the day off.

Part of the reason why I want to work because both my depression and anxiety are acting up at the moment. I wish they were not acting up especially at the same time which sucks sh*t.

In fact volunteering at PAWS Cat City this morning helped both the depression and anxiety. I love volunteering and being able to help cats find their furrever home. Today, we only had three cats. One was on hold, one isn’t ready for adoption and the other is adoptable and not on hold. Lets hope the two adoptable cats get adopted today.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful for both the anxiety and depression. He love getting attention no matter if my symptoms are acting up or not but he seeks it out more when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I am grateful that he knows when I need the attention from him when he ask for more attention than he usually wants which he loves.

I do not have anything else to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Never too Early to be Up for Cat Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!! It is six o’clock in morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I don’t have to be up till 9:00 for a 9:30 appointment with my doctor as I don’t start work till twelve noon on Tuesdays. But I am up at six o’clock in my morning because my cat is wanting some cuddle time. Maybe it’s because my PTSD and Anxiety symptoms are high at the moment my depression is at a low grade level at the moment.

As much as I wish I was still asleep, I am grateful for my cuddles with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is famous for his cuddle especially when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I did have some nightmares last night which increased the anxiety and the PTSD but am grateful for the Billie cuddles to start of the day even if it is earlier than normal for my Tuesday work schedule. I love my cat and how he provides me emotional support.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

UGH!!! Another Sleepless Night in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

It’s not a good start to a Tuesday morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I was sound asleep and sleeping quite soundly when two neighbors who live on my floor in different units decided to scream at each other that led into to a physical fight. Needless to say the cops came and “talked” with the neighbors yet didn’t do anything else but talk with them. This angers me and my other neighbors because it triggers our PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. Obviously, Seattle police to get a flying rats ass. All my neighbors and myself want is a decent night of sleep. The cops are not doing their fucking job and a I pay taxes which means I pay their pay check. I am not a happy camper with the Seattle Police Department.

As least my cant Billie Dean is able to help decrease the anger, PSTD, Anxiety and Depression. Billie is a great source of help for me and am beyond grateful for him. I love my cuddle but of a cat. He means the world to me.

I am to tired and angry to finish this blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a great night of sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Taking a Sick Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Even though I don’t start work till 12:00noon my time which is Seattle time, I called into work sick. On days I don’t start till 12:00noon my time, I take the time to call my clients so it’s doesn’t cause the administrative assistant staff more work to do especially on a Monday. Not only does it make it easier for the admin staff but I realized if I reached out to the clients myself, I don’t have to use that time as “sick time.” Weather or not I get paid to call and cancel on my clients due to illness, I would still do it to especially on Mondays to help my colleagues out.

On a similar note, my supervisor gets “humorously annoyed” (her words, not mine) on how I call in sick. I text as well as call her cell phone (leaving her a voicemail if she doesn’t answer), email her (and HR) and call her on her office number (leaving a voicemail if she doesn’t answer). She is “humorously annoyed” because yes it is somewhat annoying but she finds it humorous because she appreciates the fact that I make sure she finds out some how since technology can be known to not work or do what it is suppose to when it is needed to do so. I technology at work tends to “misbehave” at the worst of the worst times. She does appreciate that I make the extra effort to make sure she is aware.

On to the next thing. Since I am not feeling well, my grandpa made homemade chicken soup yesterday since my uncle wasn’t feeling well. My grandpa just like he does quite frequently makes too much food. So, grandpa will bringing me some homemade chicken soup when he goes to the V.A to get his prescriptions since my home is on the way to the V.A. I love the fact that my 91 year old grandpa is still active. Not only is he more active that myself and the rest of the family, he is more healthy than the rest of the family.

Part of the reason why I am out sick is because my depression and anxiety are both acting up. That usually means that I get digestive problem which sucks. As sucky as it is at least I know I won’t vomit nor have digestive issues with my grandpa’s homemade soup. Soup that he learned to make from my grandma who who sadly passed away four year ago this Valentines day.

On another note, since I am not feeling well, I will be doing some art work. Specifically, I will be coloring. I hope to show you updates of what I color. It all depends if I remember to do so as well as how I am feeling at the moment. While coloring I will be listening to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. The name of the podcast I will be listing to is “Philosophize This.” I really enjoy this particular podcast.

As much as I dislike being sick, I am grateful for the extra attention my cat Billie Dean gives me. Billie is a love bug even when I am not sick but tends to be more of one when I am sick. I love my cat so much and am grateful for the unconditional love he gives me even though I don’t deserve especially when I don’t give him the attention at the exact times he wants or needs it due to being busy.

I personally think the Seattle weather is okay enough to try to take Billie for a walk outside on his leash if he tolerates it. It’s the leash and harness he tolerates but its the outside he doesn’t tolerate. The thing is he tolerates the outside in his carrier so the vet and I think he needs to feel secure or a sense of safety when outside. So we came up with a training plan regarding outside time on the harness and leash.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. Again, than you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great day ahead of you as well as great work week ahead of you. I truly appreciate you for reading my blog as it means the world to me that you read it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you have a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Too Early to Be Awake on a Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!!! It is 8:01in the morning in my corner of the world known as Seattle. In fact my cat Billie Dean is trying to help me writer this particular blog post. I am tired as hell and have not been unable to sleep. I am not sure why sleepless is accruing but I am sure some of it is due to insomnia which suck shit.

On that note at least I am feeling the love my m cat Billie Dean. Billie is sure helping me with both my depression and the anxiety. Both of which sucks. The love from cat is beyond awesome.

Speaking of love my grandpa and uncle will be taking me out to breakfast. I know they love me and look out for my wellbeing. I am grateful that I have a family that loves me event thought is appears to be over bearing at times. Their heart is is in the rate place.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post to say anything thing. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be reading my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog.. It is greatly apricated tat my blog it read. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out World and have an awesome day ahead of your!!!

A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Just a Random Middle of the Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Middle of the night, World!!!!. I have not been able to sleep for various reason which includes insomnia and depression. Honestly, I think I could have some dependence on Ativan. I don’t want to have a dependence of Ativan because I don’t need any more issues than I already have.

I did email my doctor just in case because I don’t want another issue on top of other issues I already have. I know I may be a bit paranoid but I rather ge on the cautious side.

I do not have much more to say about this particular blog post. I do want to thankyou for reading my blog. I hope you have a great night. Peace Out. World!!!

The Never Ending Thursday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today feels like a really long Thursday. A Thursday that feels like the never ending storying. I think it feel like this is because I am still dealing with some symptoms of Covid-19. I am especially dealing with the fatigue, the brain fog, as well as the continuous sleepiness and migraines. At least the diarrhea is finally going away.

Oh a plus note, my employer has been very supportive with the Covid stuff as well as other stuff that might come up. My employer is extremely supportive and appreciates us employees. You don’t get that and many employees.

The best part of all this is I get to work from home and still get paid. And my colleague at home, my cat Billie Dean like to help. Sometimes his helpfulness can be a hinderance but at least my cat brings smiles to clients face and I say that is worth the hinderances. I do have to say Billie is my favorite colleague.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciate that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No, Going Back to Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is 6:03am in the blasted morning and I was finally getting back to sleep after Billie Dean, my cat woke me up. I was almost a sleep and Billie was asleep snoring when the building fire alarm went of. One of my neighbors decided to put the fire alarm pull station again because another neighbor wasn’t not wearing mask. This isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm pull station when neighbors haven’t been wearing mask. The neighbor who does this pulls it because he wants the fire department to talk with the neighbors who don’t wear mask because of Covid-19. The only thing it is doing is making all the neighbors and the firefighters angry at this particular neighbor. I understand wanting others to wear mask due to the global pandemic but it’s common sense that you don’t pull the fire alarm for someone is not wearing a mask.

The thing is the fire alarm causes my anxiety and my PTSD symptoms to increase. It causes my anxiety to increase because I have to make sure I get my cat, Billie in his carrier and put on my shoes and jacket as well as remembering my keys and wallet as a blaring fire alarm with a strobe light going off. The alarm going off increases my PTSD because, I have been in three fires in my life; two as a child and one as an adult. It’s no fun dealing with PTSD of any kind but it takes me a while to finally get back to an okay place after the building fire alarm goes off.

Well, I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I appreciate all of you. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Well, at least it is still morning in my corner of the world here in Seattle. Normally, I would be working right now. I would be working from the office today but took the day off to do some trainings that are actually webinars that I could watch anytime but I wanted to have the day off today. Yes, I will be watching the training webinars later today when I know I struggle more with my depression and anxiety.

Anyway, I will be spending a few hours with my grandpa today for some family time with him. We are going to get me a new cell phone as mine is on the frits after having it for four years. My grandpa will be taking me to get some food as well. Food from my favorite restaurant of Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Besides a new phone and Red Robin, I will be doing some of my Christmas shopping. Not all of it but just some of it. I only celebrate Christmas because of my grandpa and somewhat for my mom as my mom just has me and my brother. Christmas gives me an excuse to spend time with family even if they are dysfunctional but I love them them. I personally celebrate another other holiday that I will discuss later.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is thrilled I am home at the moment. I think he is noticing that my anxiety and depression are acting up as he has been more lovey dovey or “clingy” lately especially after and issue I had with a work colleague. I love my job and enjoy working with my colleagues including the one I am having an issue with however I am grateful for Billie’s love and attention when things aren’t exactly going the way I want such as increased depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good holiday season even if we are still stuck in a middle of a pandemic. Peace Out, World!!!