Tag Archives: Anxiety

No, Going Back to Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is 6:03am in the blasted morning and I was finally getting back to sleep after Billie Dean, my cat woke me up. I was almost a sleep and Billie was asleep snoring when the building fire alarm went of. One of my neighbors decided to put the fire alarm pull station again because another neighbor wasn’t not wearing mask. This isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm pull station when neighbors haven’t been wearing mask. The neighbor who does this pulls it because he wants the fire department to talk with the neighbors who don’t wear mask because of Covid-19. The only thing it is doing is making all the neighbors and the firefighters angry at this particular neighbor. I understand wanting others to wear mask due to the global pandemic but it’s common sense that you don’t pull the fire alarm for someone is not wearing a mask.

The thing is the fire alarm causes my anxiety and my PTSD symptoms to increase. It causes my anxiety to increase because I have to make sure I get my cat, Billie in his carrier and put on my shoes and jacket as well as remembering my keys and wallet as a blaring fire alarm with a strobe light going off. The alarm going off increases my PTSD because, I have been in three fires in my life; two as a child and one as an adult. It’s no fun dealing with PTSD of any kind but it takes me a while to finally get back to an okay place after the building fire alarm goes off.

Well, I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I appreciate all of you. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Well, at least it is still morning in my corner of the world here in Seattle. Normally, I would be working right now. I would be working from the office today but took the day off to do some trainings that are actually webinars that I could watch anytime but I wanted to have the day off today. Yes, I will be watching the training webinars later today when I know I struggle more with my depression and anxiety.

Anyway, I will be spending a few hours with my grandpa today for some family time with him. We are going to get me a new cell phone as mine is on the frits after having it for four years. My grandpa will be taking me to get some food as well. Food from my favorite restaurant of Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Besides a new phone and Red Robin, I will be doing some of my Christmas shopping. Not all of it but just some of it. I only celebrate Christmas because of my grandpa and somewhat for my mom as my mom just has me and my brother. Christmas gives me an excuse to spend time with family even if they are dysfunctional but I love them them. I personally celebrate another other holiday that I will discuss later.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is thrilled I am home at the moment. I think he is noticing that my anxiety and depression are acting up as he has been more lovey dovey or “clingy” lately especially after and issue I had with a work colleague. I love my job and enjoy working with my colleagues including the one I am having an issue with however I am grateful for Billie’s love and attention when things aren’t exactly going the way I want such as increased depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good holiday season even if we are still stuck in a middle of a pandemic. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in morning in my corner of the world which is Seattle. I must have falling asleep early as I was listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I sadly have to go back to last podcast I l last remembered and I am okay with this. I never hurts to relearn things. My worry is being able to go back to sleep due to insomnia and falling asleep too early.

Since I most likely will not be able to go back to sleep, I have other plans. Plans to attend that is a twelve step program that focuses on how to change yourself and not change others. It also has a lot of recovery focused language in this particular twelve step program unlike other’s I have been attended. I am happy that I have decided to go back to this twelve step meetings as it helps me a great with my own recovery.

I just ordered Taco Bell from Grubhub. I’m surprised they let me order this late. I just hope I get the order for this food as I am hungry as hell. Last time I ate was lunch time which was over twelve hours ago. Anyway lets hope it gets here before the meeting I want to attend online starts.

Lets not forget about my cat, Billie Dean. He has been very sweet and loving since I got home from work today. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression really badly as of lately. Billie has be so much more cuddly than he normally is and I am appreciative of it. I love my cat, Billie so much and am beyond grateful that he is in my life. I know Billie the Kat loves me unconditionally and I soak up that unconditional love as much as I can.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post but I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

One of Them Days

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been one of those days where depression and anxiety are both acting up. It’s not a good time for either of them to act up when you work with clients who are in crisis mode. Any way, my supervisors have been very supportive of debriefing about these clients. I love the people I work with but some days are just more challenging than other days.

Anyway, after work I checked in with friends as my cat Billie Dean sat on my lap cuddling. Having my friends give me a reality check and the unconditional love of my cat, Billie has really helped me.

Another thing that has helped me is while my cat cuddled with me, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am learning a great deal about philosophy and feel like I am getting a small education about philosophy.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Anxiety & Love

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly midnight in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. The weather in Seattle has been quite sucky the last week including right this moment.

The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression and my anxiety isn’t helping the depression as well. I can tell you that the unconditional love I am receiving from my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a loving cat who loves to cuddle and that helps with both my anxiety and depression a great deal.

Another thing that is helping with the depression and anxiety is listening to a podcast about philosophy. A podcast that I am being educated on in philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really feel like I am getting an education oh philosophy from this podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Geeking Out of Weird Ass Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

‘Good Evening, World!!! It appears to me that I am geeking out on podcast. Specifically a podcast on philosophy. The podcast I am geeking out on is “Philosophize This.” I feel like I am getting some education on the topic of philosophy. I am really enjoying this podcast and have the ability to get some form of education on philosophy.

I am not only Geeking out on podcast about philosophy, I am geeking out on comic books. I am geeking out reading Wonder Woman comic books. Being able to geek out on comic books is quite helpful with dealing with my anxiety and depression.

Another thing that I am geeking out on is my cat Billie Dean. I am such a geek when it comes to cats. Especially my own cat, Billie. I love Billie so very much. He is such a love bug as well as a cuddle bug.

Everything I have mentioned in this particular blog post, I geek out on because they help me deal with my anxiety and depression. Knowing what helps cope with my mental health diagnosis is always a good thing.

I do not have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Tired to Write (& to Sleep)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am just way too tired to write much less sleep. Hell, I am even too tired too tired to focus on the anxiety and depression I have dealing with. First I get woken up by a neighbor pulling the fire alarm due to other neighbors not wearing their mask.

Now I am dealing with three neighbors who live on my floor in different apartments screaming at each other for bullshit reasons. I all I want is to go to sleep. It’s bad enough that I have insomnia but my neighbors sure haven’t been helping me with the sleep I need tonight, It is frustrating as fucking hell that I am unable to sleep.

Despite not being able to sleep, I have been listening to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I have been listening to the philosophy podcast called “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much from this podcast and feel like I am getting an informal education from in it.

I am also feeling that I am getting an informal education from reading the book by Plato called “The Republic and Other Works.” It’s about Plato’s theory on philosophy and I feel like I am learn a lot from this book as well as the podcast I am listening to. I feel like reading about and listening to a podcast is giving me an education I would be getting if I was not able to sleep for various reasons.

Of course, my cat Billie Dean is now wanting me to give him some attention. Hopefully the type of attention to help me fall back to sleep. I love my cat Billie so much. He is such a sweet cuddle bug of a cat.

I do not now have much more to discuss in this particular blog post as I am too tired to write any more. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

Fire Alarmed Pulled = Anger

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! UGH!!! I am currently angry as hell. I am angry because a neighbor pulled the fire alarm several times because other neighbors were not wearing their mask. I don’t understand why someone would continue to do this especially in the middle of the fucking night. I know I personally get annoyed with other not wearing their mask but I don’t pull the fire alarm. I am getting aggravated with this neighbor pulling the alarm because others are not wearing their mask.

Not only did the Seattle Fire Department show up but the Seattle Police Department showed up. SPD showed up because this isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm system due to other neighbors not wearing mask. Sadly, SPD isn’t arresting this dude for various reasons which sucks shit. The fire fighters are getting just as angry over this just like myself and my neighbors.

Billie Dean, my cat has been a trooper through all this. He didn’t fight with getting into his carrier which I am so very proud of him for do this. I love my cat so much. Sadly, we had to wait outside instead of inside of the lobby and community room area’s. It was called and rainy outside and let not forget the wind.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Doing Okay

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m now not doing okay but I know everything will turn our okay or better than okay. My cat Billie Dean has been doing his just quite well with be an awesome emotional support animal. Billie is an awesome great ESA for me and am forever grateful that he chose me.

Billie has been trying is best in trying help me with my current art project. Specifically, I am coloring. I am coloring some pretty awesome pictures that I hope to share with you all the art work when I am finished with them as well as if I remember to day so. I love to coloring.

Having Anxiety and depression sucks which is why I do art work and cuddle with my cat, Billie. As I sit hear coloring, i have been listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and feel like a am getting a great education I am getting from listening to it.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thigs that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would nt be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!