Tag Archives: Insomnia

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in morning in my corner of the world which is Seattle. I must have falling asleep early as I was listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I sadly have to go back to last podcast I l last remembered and I am okay with this. I never hurts to relearn things. My worry is being able to go back to sleep due to insomnia and falling asleep too early.

Since I most likely will not be able to go back to sleep, I have other plans. Plans to attend that is a twelve step program that focuses on how to change yourself and not change others. It also has a lot of recovery focused language in this particular twelve step program unlike other’s I have been attended. I am happy that I have decided to go back to this twelve step meetings as it helps me a great with my own recovery.

I just ordered Taco Bell from Grubhub. I’m surprised they let me order this late. I just hope I get the order for this food as I am hungry as hell. Last time I ate was lunch time which was over twelve hours ago. Anyway lets hope it gets here before the meeting I want to attend online starts.

Lets not forget about my cat, Billie Dean. He has been very sweet and loving since I got home from work today. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression really badly as of lately. Billie has be so much more cuddly than he normally is and I am appreciative of it. I love my cat, Billie so much and am beyond grateful that he is in my life. I know Billie the Kat loves me unconditionally and I soak up that unconditional love as much as I can.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post but I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

Posted on by Gertie

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Tired to Write (& to Sleep)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am just way too tired to write much less sleep. Hell, I am even too tired too tired to focus on the anxiety and depression I have dealing with. First I get woken up by a neighbor pulling the fire alarm due to other neighbors not wearing their mask.

Now I am dealing with three neighbors who live on my floor in different apartments screaming at each other for bullshit reasons. I all I want is to go to sleep. It’s bad enough that I have insomnia but my neighbors sure haven’t been helping me with the sleep I need tonight, It is frustrating as fucking hell that I am unable to sleep.

Despite not being able to sleep, I have been listening to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I have been listening to the philosophy podcast called “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much from this podcast and feel like I am getting an informal education from in it.

I am also feeling that I am getting an informal education from reading the book by Plato called “The Republic and Other Works.” It’s about Plato’s theory on philosophy and I feel like I am learn a lot from this book as well as the podcast I am listening to. I feel like reading about and listening to a podcast is giving me an education I would be getting if I was not able to sleep for various reasons.

Of course, my cat Billie Dean is now wanting me to give him some attention. Hopefully the type of attention to help me fall back to sleep. I love my cat Billie so much. He is such a sweet cuddle bug of a cat.

I do not now have much more to discuss in this particular blog post as I am too tired to write any more. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

Fire Alarmed Pulled = Anger

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! UGH!!! I am currently angry as hell. I am angry because a neighbor pulled the fire alarm several times because other neighbors were not wearing their mask. I don’t understand why someone would continue to do this especially in the middle of the fucking night. I know I personally get annoyed with other not wearing their mask but I don’t pull the fire alarm. I am getting aggravated with this neighbor pulling the alarm because others are not wearing their mask.

Not only did the Seattle Fire Department show up but the Seattle Police Department showed up. SPD showed up because this isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm system due to other neighbors not wearing mask. Sadly, SPD isn’t arresting this dude for various reasons which sucks shit. The fire fighters are getting just as angry over this just like myself and my neighbors.

Billie Dean, my cat has been a trooper through all this. He didn’t fight with getting into his carrier which I am so very proud of him for do this. I love my cat so much. Sadly, we had to wait outside instead of inside of the lobby and community room area’s. It was called and rainy outside and let not forget the wind.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Got Absolutely No Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It five thirty eight in the morning on a Sunday here in Seattle. I have not been able to sleep all night and had to call in for my volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City. I don’t think I would be able to do what I need to do while volunteering in a safe manner due to the lack of sleep. The plus note is that I will be able to attend the one hour training I signed up for this evening for my volunteer job at Cat City. Yes, I did leave an voicemail and email regarding missing my job and able to attend the training this evening.

On that note, since I was unable to sleep at all, all night, I have kept quite busy by educating myself my listening to a podcast about philosophy. Actually, I have been listening to this particular philosophy podcast to catch up to the most up to date podcast on philosophy. The podcast I am listening to about philosophy is call “Philosophize This” which I think a really great podcast. I am learning so much from this podcast that I feel like I am getting some form of education on philosophy as I listen to it.

As I listened to the philosophy podcast I did do some art work. The type of art work I did was coloring. In fact I was able to finish two coloring picture that I had already been working on. I also started coloring a new coloring page after I finish the two coloring pages that I had already started.

Something else I did while I have been unable to sleep beside listening to a philosophy podcast while doing art work by coloring, I attended some online 12 Step meetings. A twelve step meeting with a lot recovery focused language verses other 12 Step meetings. Plus the 12 Steep meetings I tend to go to focuses changing myself and not the other people in my life. The focusing on changing oneself verse change others and in being focused on recovery language is why I like this particular 12 step meeting. I attended three of these 12 step meetings tonight and learned a great deal.

And of course, I spent the night with my cat Billie Dean by my side in a very cuddly mood which I love. Billie, my cat is an amazing cat and I love him so much. He is also such a love bug and prefers to be in the same room I am in no matter the room which includes the bathroom. I have not clue why ant pet does this regarding going to the bathroom with their humans. I love my cat, Billie more and more every day.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it as wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Almost Midnight & Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is nearly midnight here in Seattle and I am unable to sleep. I wish I could sleep as I need to be up no later than seven in the morning for work. I would love to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket at work or with my clients. I never want to be a cranky bucket with clients and try to not to be. Getting proper sleep helps me not be a cranky bucket at work and helps me be a better peers specialist.

Anyway, I’ve been doing good self care to help me get some sleep. One of the ways I have been doing good self care is some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I’ve been coloring most of the evening. I started listening to music when I started coloring tonight. The music helped me become in a more creative mode. Once, I was becoming more creative with my coloring, I decided to switch from music to listening to a podcast about philosophy. Listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” as well as music helps me with my self care as well as my artwork.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean, is a part of my self care plan. He has been “helping” me with coloring. The love I have my cat, Billie is one of the many reasons why I am in recovery and do self care. Taking care of Billie is a form of self care for me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Awake Too Early on a Saturday Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five fifty nine in the morning and I woke up from a not so fun nightmare That is related to PTSD. My cat Billie Dean is laying on my lap as I type this really short blog post as I would like to go back to sleep since it is Saturday morning. As much as I wish I was still asleep I am grateful for my cat, Billie knowing what to do after waking up from a horrific nightmare.

I don’t have much to say in this particular blog post because I want to get back to sleep. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Working From Home Today & My Cat is Helping

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon and Happy Friday, World!!! Usually, this time of day, I am working from the offices. Well, today I am working but I am working from home. Of course, my cat, Billie Dean is helping with my work. Actually, it more like Billie giving me snuggles and lap time as I work from home.

Part of the reason why I am working from home is because I did not sleep well last night due to insomnia so I had the option of working from home. I am grateful that I have the ability to work from home today as I was able to take a couple of naps. To be honest with you all, I would rather work in the office than at home as I get more work done when I am in the office than working from home.

As challenging as it is working from home is at times, I am glad its Friday and that I can just put my work computer away. Usually, I would have to take public transportation home from the office so working from today is a good thing. I am just so tired and want to curl up and take a nap with my cat Billie.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!