Good Evening, World!!! My weekly check in will be short this evening as I haven’t done much this week like I had planned on doing. I did go to work and am thrilled to be back to work I sadly, didn’t get what I was planning on doing with crafting regarding latch hooking and cross stitching. I did get to read the book I am reading as well as coloring. So, I did accomplish something other than my normal self care stuff like mindfulness meditation as well as going to work. I love my job. I have course spent time with my cat, Billie.
Tag Archives: Mental Health
Too Tired to Sleep & It’s Only 1:49pm Seattle Time
Good Afternoon, World. I haven’t had the best sleep most of last night and all day today. Despite how I attempted to sleep last night for a good night of sleep as well as getting a good nap today, I was unable to do so. It sucks shit that I am so sleepy especially when I am trying to do various things to relax enough to get some sort of sleep.
One of the things that I had done on several occasions is doing mindfulness meditation practices which helps a great deal especially when I am so tired as well as being so anxious. I am so grateful for mindfulness meditation through the Calm App.
Something else I did was going to go to the Farmers Market in my neighborhood. In fact I took a friend with me to hang out with this friend. I wanted to treat her to an awesome food known as a breakfast sandwich. She agrees it’s the best breakfast sandwich she has ever had. Even though I go to this farmers market every Saturday, my friend and I are going to attend together twice a month.
After parting ways with my friend from the farmers market, I came home to spend time with my cat, Billie asI am listening to music. Specifically, I am listening to my Childhood Playlist music on Spotify. In fact it is over 16 hours long and close to 175 songs.
Speaking of music I am planning on listening to music as I do some arts and crafts. I plan on doing some art work via coloring. Coloring helps me keep myself grounded. The crafts I am planning on doing is cross stitching. That is if my cat Billie doesn’t want to play with the string. I am also going to attempt to teach myself how to Latch Hook. I am doing my best to teach myself to teach myself to Latch Hook but I am finding somewhat interesting and relaxing.
Due to the lack of sleep, everything I have been doing today has been helping with the PTSD shit although it still pretty bad due to the lack of sleep.
I do not not have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of my things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you not reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
A Rude Awakening Due to Multiple Building Fire Alarms Going off At the Same Time
Good extremely early Saturday morning to everyone. It appears that the fire alarms on my street and the street behind my street decided to go off all at the same time. As of right now, the fire department has no clue what is going on. All I know is that it is extremely loud with all the alarms going off as well as the sirens from the fire trucks and police cares. It does sucks it is just the entire block that the fire alarms are going off.
I am currently outside with my cat Billie, waiting for the all clear to go back to my apartment. Of course Billie is in his carrier sleeping away as I read a book to pass the time as I have no clue how long this is going to take. My cat, Billie seems to e content at the moment when I am anxious as fucking hell. At least I have a book to read when all the clear is given.
When I get back to my apartment, I plan on cuddling with my cat and listening to music as I do art work. Specifically I plan on coloring. My cat, listening to music and coloring helps me a great deal when I get triggered by fire alarms. Oh goody we have received the all clear to go back in our apartment buildings. Now, I can cuddle with my cat as I listen to music and color or cuddle with my cat and read. Hopefully, I can get back to sleep.
I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from the end of things that you read on my blog. Again, thanks from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
Too Early To Be Awaken on My Weekend
Good Morning, World!!! As I start this particular post it is exactly 3:45 in the blasted morning on a Friday morning in Seattle. A Friday that is considered my weekend as Friday’s and Saturdays are my weekend. It is too early to be up this early during my weekend and it sucks shit. I woke up due to the fact of an extreme nightmare that consisted of body memories that make it feel like not just the most recent trauma happened but past traumas happened all at the same time. Having nightmares that include body memories are not the easiest thing to deal with especially so early in the morning.
Sadly, my PTSD symptoms are increasing my depression symptoms. Increased depression means that I have to be more intuned with myself regarding self harm urges as well as making sure that I don’t become suicidal. Thankfully, I am currently not suicidal. Sadly, I do have some self harm urges but at least they are at a manageable level. A level where I can create my own safety plan without the help of others such as friends or my mental health treatment team with the exception of my beloved cat, Billie as Billie helps a great deal with my safety planning.
I think I will start my safety plan with some mindfulness meditation to help me get into a better head space to help me with the rest of my safety plan.
As of right now, I think I will work on some artwork. Specifically, the artwork I will be working on is some coloring. Coloring is a great way to help me relax and focus on something creative that will help me do something more challenging to do when I am currently in the head space that I am currently in especially when I listen to music as I color. Music and coloring appear to be helpful together for me to refocus. So, I am hoping that as I color and listen to music with my cat laying by my side I can get into the mindset of reading a novel I am reading.
The novel I am currently reading is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. So, far it is keeping my attention especially when I am in an okay head space. I highly recommend the book. I am really enjoying this book and encourage you to read the book.
In all honesty I hope I can get back to sleep due to the insomnia that is caused by stupid ass PTSD symptoms and I really hope my safety plan will help with me falling back to sleep. At least I know my cat is quite helpful with helping me sleep.
I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it was not for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday ahead of them. Peace Out, World.
Weekly Plans
Sunday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Art (color)
- Read
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Monday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Art (color)
- Read
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Tuesday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Art (color)
- Read
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Wednesday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Art (color)
- Read
- Spend time with my cat Billie
Thursday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Art (color)
- Read
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Friday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Laundry
- Art (color)
- Read
Saturday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Farmer Market
- Breakfast at Farmers Market
- Art (color)
- Read
Weekly Check-In
Hello, World!!! It is Saturday evening and I am starting to do my weekly check-ins again. I just want to keep you the reader as engaged as possible. I know it sounds silly especially since I just talk about my boring life.
So, this week I went back to work after being gone for about a month due to medical reasons. Well technically I was on leave due to a trauma. A trauma that hit me to my core that sadly triggered some severe PTSD symptoms from past traumas. Traumas that I personally don’t really want to deal with especially things I thought I already dealt with.
Enough with discussing trauma and back to discussing work. Being back to work is a bit weird. I am happy to be back to work but it just feels weird. I love my job and am grateful to be back and only had to take my extra break once.
Part of my work week I spent two days at the Peer Pathways Conference. It was a huge growing experience for me. Hell, it was a growing experience for many in attendance for many folks who attended the conference this year. It was also great to meet in person again. I did have some sensory overload during the conference however I enjoyed myself.
I also had a session with my therapist which was hard but hard in a good way. My therapist is awesome and appreciated what she has to say. I also had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner. We of discussed meds and one of them was increased to help with my PTSD symptoms.
It wouldn’t be a weekly check-in without discussing my awesome cat, Billie. I love my cat and am grateful to have him in my life. It is hard to think about life without him. He is a very good and loving kitty.
I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
Weekly Plans
Sunday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Dinner with neighbors
- Art (Color)
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Monday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Art (color)
- Work
- Spend time with my cat Billie
Tuesday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Work
- Art (color)
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Wednesday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Peer Pathways Conference
- Art (color)
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
Thursday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Peer Pathways Confernce
- Dinner with my grandpa to celebrate his birthday
- Spend time with my cat, Billie
- Art (color)
Friday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Lunch with a good friend from high school
- Appointment with my therapist
- Appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner
- Art (color)
Saturday
- Walk
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Farmers Market
- Art (color)
Billie the Cat Helping
Hello World!!! Right now, I am struggling with the recent trauma I experienced and Billie is doing his best to distract me with his cuteness by bringing his wand to me. When he brings me his wand it is when he wants to play. He likes to play tug of war with his wand especially when he brings it to me. I don’t know why my cat, Billie, loves me unconditionally.
After playing with Billie and writing this particular blog post, I am going to be doing some art. Specifically, I will be coloring as I listen to music. I am unsure what type of music I will be listening to as I color.
I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
A Bundle of Emotions
Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am dealing with many various emotions. Some emotions I wish I didn’t have to deal with however I know if I don’t sit with them and radically accept them as they are things tend to get worse for me. On that note, my mental health team and doctor think that I am doing “okay” mental health wise considering what I went through two weeks ago even though I feel like I am going backwards with my mental health. It has been brought to my attention by a friend that I am having “unrealistic expectations” of myself and where I feel like I should be regarding my recovery after being hurt like I was and my mental health agrees. Hell, I agree because I wouldn’t expect my friend or my clients to be in a good place after being assaulted.
I am currently excited and anxious about going back to work this Sunday (August 20th). I am excited because I love my job and the people I work with as well as love the people I am able to serve. I am also excited to go back to work because I feel like the structure of work will help me get back to some form of normalcy of my life. Plus, structure tends to be something I need and crave due to my mental health disability as well as other disabilities such as ADHD. I am anxious to go back to work because I feel like I am going to be in trouble and that my supervisors will be more focused on how I am doing emotionally versus how I am doing the job. I know that my supervisors are super supportive however I am extremely self-conscious.
Being hurt like I was, it has brought up a lot of past traumas I have experienced in my life. It feels like I am experiencing most of the traumas all over again. I realize this is completely normal but I feel like I am abnormal. My therapist’s direct supervisor told me last Friday that “feelings are not facts.” Kind of hard to argue with that fact. Having C-PTSD sucks shit but at least I know what to do to help myself. One thing is to read as it helps me get out of my head and focus on something that doesn’t cause emotional pain. Another thing that helps in listening to music as I color. Also doing a mindfulness meditation is quite helpful. Something else that is helping is making sure I eat regularly as well as drinking plenty of water. Drinking plenty of water right now is key as the weather here in Seattle is hot and experiencing a heat wave. Of course my cat, Billie is quite helpful.
I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottome of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
No Sleep For Me
Good Morning, World!!! It is 4:14 in the morning, Seattle time. I am tired and a cranky bucket. Despite actually attempting to sleep, sleep was a no go for me. I suspect a lot of it has to deal with the recent sexual assault I have experienced. My cat, Billie has been quite a comfort for me since I adopted him over three years ago however he appears to be more of comfort to me after being raped. I think he can pick up on what is going on with my emotions.
On that note since being comforted by my cat, Billie and not being able to get sleep, I did a lot of arts and crafts. I did a lot of coloring because that appeared to be less frustrating for me. As far as Diamond Art goes it appears to be more frustrating for me due to all the little pieces involved but I am sure once I get the hang of it, it will become more enjoyable. I am sort of getting the idea of latch hooking and am enjoying it. I am watching a lot of YouTube videos on latch hooking which is great. At far a cross stitching goes, I am loving it and enjoying it. I just have one issue, my cat, Billie wants to play with the thread or string as he thinks it is. I love being able to do arts and crafts with my cat, Billie by my side.
I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you my readers for reading my post especially as of lately since my post have been more depressive and traumatic than usual. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
Gertie's Journey 
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