Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write a List; Things I’ve Learned

Things I’ve Learned and Why I Learned Them

  • To play the flute; I learned to play the flute in elementary school. I started out playing the trombone but my arm was too short even with an extension so my best friend talked me into playing the flute.
  • DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Skills; I needed to learn DBT skills for the reason that I didn’t learn good coping skills growing up and DBT skills helped me learn better ways to cope with everyday situations as well as how to deal with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis. In fact learning DBT skills is what helped start my recovery with mental health challenges.
  • Painting: I love art and one of my neighbors is teaching me to paint. He started teaching me to paint when he found out that I enjoy coloring as well as collaging.
  • Philosophy: I have found a new love passion about philosophy and have learned a great deal over the last few months. I started learning about philosophy while listening to a podcast when the podcast was suggested to me. After each episode I then do my own research on what was discussed in the episode. In fact I am still learning about philosophy.

Blessed (Summer) Solstice

Blessed Solstice, World!!! It is the first day of summer in the northern hemisphere while it is the first day of winter in the southern hemisphere. I am so grateful that it is now summer and the longest day of the year. Sadly, tomorrow the days start getting shorter but am going to enjoy the summer either way.

As summer starts, I realize that this last week hasn’t been the easiest of weeks for me and that I have my mental health treatment team worried about and rightfully so. Monday started off like any other Monday. I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner and that we okay. It only went okay due to the fact that I withheld information from her and that ultimately didn’t help me on Tuesday but thankfully, I found out on Monday that I didn’t need to work on Tuesday night which I was and am thrilled about.

Now on to Tuesday. Tuesday was not a good day for me. I am not exactly sure why but it wasn’t. Long story short, I attempted to die by suicide by overdosing on one of meds. Thankfully, my psychiatric nurse practitioner has me pick up my meds once a week at my pharmacy so it was only a weeks worth of one medication. I was in the emergency room for about eight hours according to the medical records that were sent to my therapist. Sadly, I only talked with the social worker for about ten minutes and she informed me that it was MY duty to notify the after-hours crisis team of the mental health agency I am a client of to let them know I attempted to die by suicide. She didn’t even call them to let them make the decision to come evaluate me to see if hospitalization was needed. So when I got discharged from the emergency room and got home I called the after-hours crisis line and let the crisis clinician know. The after-hours clinician was upset at the social worker in the emergency room I was at because she was there twice evaluating two different people while I was there and the social worker didn’t even inform her. Thankfully, the after-hours clinician wasn’t upset with me and she told me that it is her (the hospital social worker) duty to notify her and not mine which I already knew. We talked for about forty-five minutes to make sure I was okay enough to be safe at home.

On Wednesday, my therapist called me and we discussed my attempted suicide and what happened with the emergency room social worker. He wanted to make see what my side of the story was as the after-hours crisis clinician ended up going back to the same emergency room I was in to evaluate another client and “had some words” with the emergency room social worker about me. Apparently, the after-hours crisis clinician is “extremely protective” of me in particular because she “sees a lot of” me in her. So, I informed my therapist of my extremely limited interaction with the emergency room social worker. After my phone call with him I guess he got my medical records from the emergency room and talked with a social worker who is familiar with me but was not on when I was in the emergency room and from my understanding that social worker wasn’t exactly happy with her colleague and how she handled my care.

Thursday (yesterday), I had my session with my therapist and we discussed at length about my attempted suicide. We also discussed how my psychiatric nurse practitioner want me to get my med two to three times a week at the pharmacy located on the campus of the mental health agency I go to. I informed my therapist that I am not liking the idea but understand that is it for “safety reasons” and that even though I don’t like the idea I would prefer to go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last nineteen years. I informed him that I won’t “put up a fight” about getting my meds two to three times a week if we could compromise on me getting my meds from the pharmacy of my choosing, if not then I will “put up a fight.” He said he would discuss it with my psychiatric nurse practitioner about it and I know it will all work out. Another thing I did yesterday was go to DBT group and am grateful for the group. DBT has been quite helpful for me and have been making an effort to do the skills that don’t come automatically to me. The DBT skills is one of the things the has been one of the most helpful things for me and my mental health recovery.

Something, I have noticed since coming home from the emergency room is that my cat has become more clingy. She has been laying on my lap or chest when I am sitting my recliner more frequently and for a longer period of time. I think she knows that I am struggling and is doing what she thinks is helpful in comforting me and it is quite helpful. I am so grateful for my cat and that she has picked up quickly without any training on what helps me emotionally. Animals are so smart that way. I love my cat so much and am beyond thrilled that she is my emotional support animal. Getting my cat, Lil Gertie, is one of the best decisions I have made.

I do not have much else to say. I am NOT currently suicidal am NOT at risk of any self harm acts. If I do have self harm urges or feel suicidal I will take myself to the emergency room and/or call the after-hours crisis line that my mental health agency provides for their clients. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate your readership. I hope everyone has an awesome summer and great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Working on My Creative DBT Skills

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am needing to take a break from both writing poetry and painting. Mainly, I am needing to take a break from the painting as I am waiting for the paint to dry so I can continue working on the painting once it dries. I am still not sure where the painting to going to be but so far it appears to be quite interesting.

Writing my poetry is coming as easy as I thought it would be. I thought I would have a written at least two poems by now but I only have one written. I am however going to be looking at some photos to help me get some inspiration to continue to write some poems.

Writing and painting appear to be helping with my PTSD and Depression symptoms which is a great thing. I am glad I went with my creative DBT skills as I knew they would be the most helpful today. I hope that maybe in a later post that I can share my painting and/or poem(s).

I just want to remind everybody who reads my blog that I have advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to help me earn some extra money. The only way I can earn money from the advertisements is if people click on them. I only earn a cent or two per advertisement that is clicked. I, unfortunately don’t get paid till all the combined clicks adds up to one hundred dollars. Sadly, I am only at ninety dollars and am only ten dollars away from receiving the money. I am hoping that you can click on the advertisements so I can get to the one hundred dollars. I wish each click wasn’t only a cent or two but each click is helpful. I would be greatly appreciative if you could click on an ad or two every time you read my blog. .

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog as I greatly appreciated it. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. Enjoy your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Looks Like a DBT Skills Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is early afternoon in my corner of the world. I have been dealing with a bump in the road for about three to four weeks now. It appears to be turning into a funk but if I have anything to do with it, it won’t get into a funk. But for those of us who deal with mental health challenges sometimes the funk is beyond our control which sucks shit.

As the symptoms of my mental health challenges appear to be increasing I realize it needs to be a DBT skills type of day. I say this because I have been fighting of dissociation due to the PTSD I struggle with. I am also struggling with Depression symptoms. Specifically, isolation. I am also struggling with self harm urges and want to reassure you that I AM CURRENTLY NOT AT RISK of harming myself.

Considering the type of symptoms, I am currently struggling with I realize that using my DBT skills today is key to my recovery and long term goals. Specifically, the DBT skills I will be using all have to do with creativity. For me being creative is what helps me with the dissociation. In fact music will be a major part of my day. I say this as if I am not playing my flute or harmonica, I will be listening to music as I am creative in other ways. I plan on doing some art. I am actually going to be painting. I have an idea or two for what I want to paint. I love painting as it helps me expression my emotions when I am having difficulty expressing them in other ways as well as not knowing what emotion I am currently feeling. Another way, I plan on being creative is writing. In fact I am writing right now as I blog. However, I am planning on writing some poetry as I feel a few poems that may be on the horizon. Poetry is another way to express my emotions. Of course I will be listening to music as I paint and write like I am doing now. Like I mentioned earlier, I will be playing my flute or harmonica at some point today. Of course I will not be listening to music when I am playing one of my musical instruments.

I am thinking that I don’t have much more to say that I will go end the post especially since I am hungry and in need of making lunch. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to write a list. We were given a list of topics to use for idea’s for a list. I chose from one of the topics as it resonates with me.

Things I Have Learned:

  1.  How to meditate, as it has helped bring peace in my life.
  2. How to do mindfulness. This has helped me calm my mind and bring peace to my life.
  3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills as this has helped me a great deal with my recovery with mental health challenges.
  4. Learned how to read music when I learned how to play the flute. Playing the flute and reading music has helped me in many areas of my life. Music was the first way I learned how to express myself and my emotions.
  5. Learned how to play the harmonica. If I didn’t learn how to play the flute and read music I would have never learn to play the harmonica. This too has helped me in many areas of my life. Just like playing the flute it helps me express myself and my emotions.
  6. I learned the are of writing poetry. This has helped me express myself in ways people can relate to.
  7. I learned how to paint. In fact I am still learning how to paint. This has helped me express myself when I am unable to use words to express myself.
  8. I am in the middle of learning how to enjoy life even when difficult situations arise. I hope that someday I will be better at this especially among the difficult times.
  9. I learned how to do self care and how to appreciate it. This has helped me a great deal in my recovery
  10. I learned how to accept another persons love. In fact this is something I am still learning how to do. My cat, Lil Gertie, is helping a great deal with this as I have accepted other people’s love a lot easier since I adopted her. It is still a challenge for me but it has become easier since adopting my cat, Lil Gertie.

DBT Skills Helping Me Through A Rough Moment

Hello, World!!! I am struggling a little right now. I am struggling with anxiety and PTSD. A struggle that I know I can get through. I can get through with the use of my skills. Specifically, DBT skills.

One of those skills is painting. I will be painting to help express the emotions that I am feeling at the moment. Emotions that I have trouble verbalizing out loud or even on paper or computer screen.

Another skill I can do that is helpful to me is mindfulness. Mindfulness helps calm my anxiety right down. Mindfulness also gives me a sense of peace. A peace the Buddhism is giving me as I look into it.

Looking into Buddhism is giving me a faith and hope that I have been searching for. A faith that has been a long time coming.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Depression

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been awake for several hours now. I am a wee bit depressed. Not sure what is causing it but I sure in the hell know that the crappy weather isn’t helping. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with the depression however it is a reality I have to deal with.

A reality that is having me focus on good self care as well as doing DBT skills. In fact I feel like my DBT skills are self care. Or at least a form of self care. I am needing do some self-soothing skills as well as some distracting skills.

One of the skills, I’ll be doing is drinking tea which is self soothing for me. Another skill I am going to use is read the news paper which is somewhat of a distraction skill for me. I know it seems like a weird combination to do at the same time but it helps me if I start my day out like that.

I am also going to be going to the mall with a friend today. I am not a big mall person but this is an “out of the box” thing my therapist wanted me to come up with. Going to the mall will be challenging for me but it will be helpful for me as well.

Something that I have already done to help with my depression as well as my anxiety is some meditation and mindfulness practices. Since I have been doing the mindfulness and meditation on the regular basis, I have noticed some lessening of the anxiety or least lessening of the intensity of the anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!