Weekly Check In

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I am going restart doing my weekly check ins on Saturdays. I will be doing my weekly check as part of my routine in regards to getting ready for work. As may or may not know my on call shelter counselor job is no longer an on call job for me as I now have a more permanent day I work. In fact I work Saturday nights from eight at night to eight thirty in morning on Sunday. I am not a huge fan work twelve and a hours at night but at least its a consistent schedule and not on call. Being on call was not helping my mental health symptoms and was about to quit my job if I didn’t start having a more consistent schedule.

As far a my as my week went it was pretty busy. On Monday and Tuesday I decided to deep clean my everything in my kitchen. Well everything but my fridge but I will do that next week. Most likely next Friday. It felt great that I deep cleaned my kitchen. I plan on deep cleaning the rest of my apartment as time goes on. I plan on making one day a week ordeal till I get my apartment clean like how I want it and not so cluttered.

Wednesday was a busy day for me. I saw my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. We of course discussed meds and how I will be picking up my meds twice a week now since I tried attempting to die by suicide by taking a weeks worth of one of my meds about a month and a half ago. (No need to worry because I am currently not at risk of harming myself or attempting suicide.) We discussed how picking up my meds twice a week will be more helpful to me and my recovery for the time being. I am hopeful that I will be able to get my meds on the monthly basis again but my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and I both agree that this is the best option for me and my recovery right now. 

As far as Wednesday goes, it continues to get busier. I saw my therapist and we discussed a great deal of shit that was difficult yet extremely productive. We talked about DBT group and what we are working on in DBT. I discussed with him about the skill of Being Mindful of Current Emotion and how it is challenging for me. So we discussed how it was challenging it for me and my therapist gave me homework on this which I have mixed emotions about but realize that ultimately it will help me. My therapist and I also discussed me starting a new group the focuses on learning skill for PTSD called Trauma Symptom Management. I told him I would be willing to try it just as long as there is no processing of trauma as I am only ready to process my trauma with him, my therapist, and he understood.

Something else I did on Wednesday was start another Path With Art class that is a writing class. When I initially read it I thought “cool a writing class” and then reread a couple of my times and thought I misread the first time because I thought it was an acting class as was fearful that since I got accepted into the class that I would be out of my element. Turns out that I read it right the first time and that it is a writing class. Yes, I love to write but this writing class will slightly put me out of my comfort zone as we will focus on various types of characters and how they play a role in any story as well as focus on the type of scenes they tend to be in. So this particular art class in focused on writing and not art. I did want to do other classes but they would interfere with some of my group therapy.  I am so grateful and relieved that the character and scene writing class is not an acting class as I would be totally out of my element and completely out of my comfort zone. At least with it being a writing class and with the type of writing it is, I will only be slightly out of my comfort zone.

As far as Thursday went. The main thing I did was go to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. We discuss Mindful of Current Emotion for the second week in a row as it appears that most of us in the group struggle with it from time to time. I am glad that I am working on this particular skill in both DBT group as well as in individual therapy as it is something that I need to work on or at least that’s the universes way of saying I need to work.

Friday, was pretty much my lazy day. I blogged three times and did some art work. In one of my blog post I even showed you what I started on. Yes, I did do some more coloring and hope to post the progress tomorrow after I get home and take a nap. Art work tends to help me a great deal just like writing does. As far as coloring goes, it helps me become mindful of the present moment.

As far as today (Saturday) is concerned, I slept through the entire day. I slept through it because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I am not a big fan of working twelve and a half hour shift especially at night but at least I have a job that gives me some meaning in my life as well as the structure I need for my recovery. No matter how long or even sometimes challenging work can be, I always seem to have a sense of accomplishment after I get of work.

Well, it appears I don’t have much more to write or check in about how my week went. I want to thank you for reading my long winded blog post. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog as it means a great deal to me that you do. I hope everyone enjoy what is left of Saturday. I also hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Brief Description of My Mental Health Appointments Today

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a long and productive day. I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner this morning and she has noticed the progress that I have been making in recent months and that she “has noticed all the progress.” We discussed how things have been going for me regarding my many diagnosis and she agrees with me that things appear to be going well with me that no med change is necessary and that once spring gets closer that we will discuss a decrease in meds. We also discussed how my sleep was at the moment and told her that I am getting more sleep but it is all broken up.  We also discussed that my voice are pretty much gone for the moment and that they still say stuff from time to time but it is only whispers and not all that often.

I also say my therapist today. We discussed a great deal about the progress that I have made and the type of coping skills I can continue to use to help me with the continued progress. We also discussed coping skills and a self care plan regarding the Christmas holiday quickly approaching as well as the grief I am dealing with as this is the first holiday without my grandma. I also discussed with him how my voices are mostly nonexistent at the moment. I told him that when I do hear the voices it is only whispers in times of stress.  I have so much more to say about my session with my therapist and would love to say more  but right now, I am really hungry and hope to post again later on this evening if not sometime tonight or tomorrow about it. I do know that he will check in on me on via phone on Friday the 21st, Monday the 24th and Wednesday the 26th before I see him for an appointment on Friday the 28th. I really like my therapist and he is checking in with me to be proactive and preventative. He wants to make sure I continue to make progress.

I really need to get going so I can get something to eat. I hope to post more about my session later on this evening. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has great rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bullshit of Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! It is the Sunday after Thanksgiving and this year Thanksgiving was difficult for my family and I as it is the first holiday season with out my grandma. When my grandpa said the prayer before we ate dinner on Thanksgiving he broke down crying which led me to cry.

Speaking of grandpa, he had knee surgery a few weeks ago and right now, I am taking care of him as neither one of my uncles are able to do so at the moment due to them both having to work. It is nice to be able to help him as needed. It is also nice to spend some time with him in general as he is 88 years old. For being 88 years old he is relatively good health with the exception of his recent knee surgery.

Speaking of health, I did see my doctor nearly two weeks ago. She put me on on some antibiotics due to having an abscessed tooth. Unfortunately, I needed to go to the Emergency Room the next day to get my tooth taken out. Good thing the hospital I normally go to is a teaching hospital with a dental school. I see my doctor again this Tuesday as we have appointments every two weeks to help keep me out of the hospital for both physical and mental health.

Speaking of mental health I finally saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner as she kept cancelling due to family emergencies and a death in the family. She apologized profusely about the many cancellations however I was quite understanding of the reasons why. She and I discussed my mental health as well as my psych meds. I informed her overall my meds were working except the new sleeping med which she increased. We also discussed not being able to see my therapist due to him being out sick for three weeks. She informed me that if he wasn’t back the week after Thanksgiving to give her a call to see what she could do about me seeing someone on the interim bases.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to call my psychiatric nurse practitioner regarding as my therapist came back last week, the week of Thanksgiving. I was able to see my therapist the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We discussed a great deal regarding him being gone, my grief regarding it being the first holidays without my grandma and the upcoming holidays and how difficult they are for me due to trauma. Since my therapist is back even though part time we are working on ways to help me get through them. So my next session we are going specifically working on self care tactics so I can stay out of the hospital for psych reasons including the Emergency Room.

As the holidays are upon us, I am thinking on what I am going to give my family for the holidays. I haven’t decided yet but I think I am going to give my dads side a picture of my grandma and my moms side some hand made gifts. I highly dislike giving things that will only be exchanged for something else or gifted out to someone else.

I don’t have much else to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that I have people who read my blog on the regular basis. To you I am the most grateful for. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season even though I know it is challenging for many folks. I hope you all have a wonderful work week as well. Have good rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!

The Evening Before Thanksgiving

Good Evening, World!!! Long time not blog. I can give you plenty of reasons why I haven’t posted in a while as well as plenty of excuses and have decided I won’t bore you with them. I’ll just go straight into what I am going to post about.

The last few weeks have been filled with anxiety. They have been filled with anxiety because my therapist was out of the office for three weeks due to health problems and finally came back this past Monday (11/19/2018). He still still didn’t look like he was feeling all that well when I saw him yesterday (Tuesday). But at least I was able to see him for a session without seeing him in almost a month. I had an extreme case of anxiety that my therapist wouldn’t becoming back due to health reason after what happened with Diana. Even though my therapist is back only part time due to his health issues, I am glad he is feeling well enough to be back. I just wish he was feeling back to his normal. But at least I will be seeing him weekly just as long as his doctors continue to say it is okay for him to work.

Another thing that has been causing me a great deal of stress for me is that my psychiatric nurse practitioner kept canceling on me due to a family emergency and a death in the family and I had ran out of refills for meds. But thankfully she refilled them before leaving to go to the funeral. I was finally able to see her last Thursday (November 15, 2018). She upped my new sleeping med and even with the increased, it still isn’t helping me fall asleep as quickly as I would like. At least the Melatonin appears to be helping me stay asleep.

Something else that I am not sure I have  mentioned but my regular doctor has been seeing me every two weeks as a precautionary thing to help me stay out of the Emergency Room (E.R) for both physical and mental health reasons. It appears to be helping. In my opinion it has been quite helpful.

Unfortunately, I did end up in the E.R last Wednesday (11/14/2018) due to an abscessed tooth. Thankfully, they were able to get the Dental Resident over from the Dental school to take care of the tooth and pull it. I am now on antibiotics for three weeks due to the severity of the infection.

On that note, I have been dealing with anxiety regarding the upcoming holidays. It is not just the anxiety I am dealing with in regards to the holidays, I have been dealing with the grief of this being the first holiday season without my grandma. I just wish the anxiety wasn’t so bad especially with the added grief. The one thing that has been quite helpful with the anxiety is my cat. She has been laying on my chest as I sit in my chair when I am high anxiety. She does this to help me focus on my breath. I find it quite helpful that she does this even though it hurts my boobs.

Well, I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope that I can post more often and not let things get in the way. Again, thank you so very much for reading my post. If I don’t post tomorrow, I want to wish everyone in the United States a very Happy Thanksgiving. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I am at a loss on what to say right now even though I have a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind because of everything that happened this past week. Not that any of it was bad. Just a lot happened.

Tuesday, I met with my therapist for our first one on one session. My new therapist appears to be cool. He is recovery minded and is in line with what I want to accomplish in regards to my recovery.

Wednesday, I had my job interview that went okay. In all honesty I won’t be let down if I don’t get the job as I don’t think the job would be a good fit for me to begin with.

Thursday, I met with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. She appears to be cool. She took me off of the Seroquel as I am on Abilify now. I’m just having even more trouble sleeping now.

I also got my taxes done on Thursday. I am getting more money back than I expected and am thrilled about that. Now I can pay a good portion of my credit card off.

That’s pretty much what I did this week. I mean my depression has been acting up and it sucks shit but all I can do is accept reality and push through it. It’s the only thing I can do right now. I can not let it get to me at the moment as if I do then shit can hit the fan quite quickly.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

An Accomplished Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here today feeling accomplished. Well, not exactly accomplished in a way others may few accomplished.

I started out the day with having an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. She appears to be nice and recovery focused. She took me off of my Seroquel as she believes I don’t need to be on it as I am also on Abilify.

Next thing I did was file my taxes. I am not getting as much back this year as previous year because I didn’t work most of last year. I am okay with that as I am happy with what I am getting back.

The last thing I did was spend about an hour cleaning my apartment. It is nice having a clean place. Having my apartment clean helps my depression.

I wish this feeling of accomplishment was the same sense of accomplishment after a hard days work but I’m okay with it.  Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Morning of Self Care

Good Morning (again), World!!! I am feeling slightly better than my last post. That is because I have done some good self care for myself. Self care that put me into a better head space.

I first did some mindfulness and meditation practice. This tends to help me focus on different aspects of my life. Aspects of my life that include me being in a better head space.

After my mindfulness and meditation practice I had some tea while reading the news paper. As usual there was really no real good news. Sports wise my favorite is doing well right now. But it is only the beginning of the season.

Now I am about to head out to have an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. I hope she is good. I hope she stays. I, of course of some anxiety over this appointment but that is why I have done what I have done as mentioned above.

I need to get going to my appointment. Have a great day and peace out world!!!