Tag Archives: Recovery

The Perspective of the Fiancé

Posted on by jjuniorz

Once again Gertie has asked me to blog about what it is like from my perspective. A perspective that she is unable to give and desires to have on their blog. I do have perspective she does not have.

I see Gertie as this wonderful beautiful person. Something I wish Gertie would see in themselves. Gertie is quite enduring and has one the fiercest sense of humor I know. In fact Gertie’s sense of humor along with her smile is what ultimately caused me to fall in love with her.

My love for Gertie continues to go more and more each moment of everyday. I just wish I could write more. I am doing a twenty four shift as I am a firefighter and I would like more time to give my perspective on Gertie and her recovery and what it is like to be a support to her. I love her with all my heart.

I hope to post more next Friday when I am not at work. Have a Happy Friday all.

Two Years Since My Career in Mental Health Began

Posted on by Gertie

As I look back over the last two years its hard to wrap my head around that I have been working in the mental health field for two years today. Little did I know two years ago that I would be promoted to Peer Specialist within a year and a half of being hired as a Consumer Aide.

When I started the Consumer Aide position, I thought to myself, “I will be in this position for two years and then start applying for a part time Peer Specialist position.” I just didn’t realize that in the midst of planning out my future I would have a crisis that would leave me in despair. A despair that would leave me thinking about other things and then a major refocus on life. A refocus that got me to apply for my current position as a full time Peer Specialist with my employer. I never would have thought I would be working full time as Peer Specialist or at least at the beginning of my career as a Peer Specialist.

Becoming a Peer Specialist at the agency that ultimately gave me my start in the mental health field is in honor. My employer first gave me my start when I was a volunteer as meal assistant in a housing program and then was I asked is I wanted to volunteer in their main shelter as a coffee counter assistant. I of course jumped at that opportunity not realizing that it would actually get me a paying job within the agency.

I was informed by an employee of the main shelter that there was an opening for the Consumer Aide position I was hesitant to apply for it. Mainly, for the fact that I seemed overqualified for it and I had applied for multiple Peer Specialist positions waiting to see if I would get a job as a Peer. I got a lot of interviews but not any jobs. So I finally gave in and applied of the job as a Consumer Aide. I got the job as a Consumer Aide even though I was overqualified for it. Despite being overqualified for the job I am glad I got it because it helped me get my promotion as a Peer Specialist. If it wasn’t for me already being employed with the agency my supervisor would have gone with someone else.

Long story short, it never hurts to start at job that might be “beneath” you because it can actually give you the start in your career that you need. I was patient and determined to get a job as a Peer Specialist and was humbled many times before I got my job as a Peer Specialist. I am beyond grateful that my previous position as a Consumer Aide is what got me promoted to a Peer Specialist.

I want to thank you for reading. I have to get ready for work now. I hope you all have a nice day. Thank you for reading. Peace Out!!

Gertie Asked For A Different Perspective

Posted on by mamabearraine

It has been a while since my first contribution to Gertie’s blog. Before I go on, let me re-introduce myself. I am a friend and motherly figure to Gertie. Gertie lovingly refers to me as “Mama Bear” and that is what I will go by on their blog.

As I mentioned in the introduction I have taken Gertie under my wing. Gertie so desperately needed a motherly figure that I was willing to take that on. I didn’t meet Gertie till she was 21 when she was near death due to a serious suicide attempt. Over the years Gerties attempts on her life as well as self harm behavior became less and less. One day my crew and I were shopping at the grocery store where she use to work and that is how myself and Junior slowly got to know her and befriend her. As frustrating as Gertie can be at times it has been one of my greatest pleasures in my life being able to see her grow. Grow into the person she is now.

Yes, Gertie has had her struggles recently but I really think that the support system she has created has helped a great deal. I also think that Gertie’s new job position at work has helped as well.

I hope that over time I will discuss with you what it is like to not only be part of Gertie’s support system but what it is like to be a mother of two children who have a diagnosed mental illness. I also would like to talk about my role as a firefighter and the role mental health plays on my job description and the encounters I have experienced dealing with folks with mental illness. I have a many different views of mental illness in my own personal life that I hope I can bring to Gertie’s blog. I am part of her “journey” and can give you view that she is not able to give.

As I end this post, I would like to thank you for reading. I am giving a perspective that Gertie is wanting on her blog. I am glad to be able to give that perspective. Thank you for the willingness to read my perspective and read from someone else other than the main person who write on this blog.

Mama Bear

Two Years Since I Said Goodbye to One Career

Posted on by Gertie

It is difficult to wrap my head around that two years ago today, I was getting ready for my last day of work at as a courtesy clerk (bagger) at a national grocery store chain. In the last two years a great deal has happened both personally and professionally.

If you haven’t been reading my blog for long, I use to work as a courtesy clerk (bagger) at a grocery store. I was employed with this grocery store before finally getting a job at my current employer. See, I had been applying for Peer Specialist jobs and kept getting interviews but not jobs. So, I decided to apply for the Consumer Aide position at my current employer even though I knew I was overqualified for the position. I ended up getting the job for the Consumer Aide position despite being overqualified for it. The main reason I was offered the job was because the job position had been opened for quite some time and my employer need to fill it. I of course took the position because I knew it would give me the “paid experience” other agencies were desiring for me to have for a Peer Specialist position. It just so happened that I made the right decision with applying for and accepting the job as a Consumer Aide because it ultimately helped me get into my current position as Peer Specialist. In fact, the Peer Specialist position for me ended up being a promotion for me because I got hired within the agency I was already working for as a Consumer Aide.

I hope this particular post gives people hope that with hard work and determination that all things are possible. I also hope that this post gives my new readers and/or followers some background on how I got into my current position. I hope to post more about it in the next couple of day to couple of weeks. I appreciate all my regular readers and followers for reading. Thank you for reading everyone and peace out.

Happy Labor Day

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Labor Day!!! It is Labor Day here in the United States. While Labor Day is now a three day weekend for many people, many others still have to work. Here is a link to a USA Today news article about how Labor Day got its start: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/09/04/labor-day-history/89826440/.

This Labor Day weekend Junior and I have pretty much been laying low and staying home. Or at least not really going any where more than five miles away from home. Our goal for this weekend is to spend quality time together without spending much money and to avoid crowds as much as possible with one exception. We  did attend a college football game and I am happy to say that the team Junior and myself were rooting for won by a landslide. And yes the team we saw play is less the five miles away from home.

It’s been nice just staying home and do nothing. Most importantly its been nice to spend time with  Junior. As I look back on the 11 1/2 years of working this is the first Labor Day I have had off and am taking advantage of it by being with the man I love.

I don’t have much more to talk about. I hope you all enjoy your Labor Day. Don’t forget to thank those who are working today. Have a good day off if you have today off. Peace Out, everyone!!!

The Not So Interesting Topic of Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

I know I have discussed this multiple times and I am sure you are getting a little tired of me discussing the topic of blogging and getting back into it on the regular basis. So, I’m going to attempt to keep this post short. Note that the word attempt is the key word.

Once again, I decided to sign up for one of the courses WordPress puts on. It’s a five day course focusing on commenting basics. The course is geared toward the person to interact with others on their blogs. In this case that person is me. I realize that part of blogging is making sure I interact with others on their blogs and I have been lacking in that area of blogging. Which is why I am choosing to do the course. Plus, it’s only five days and I know with my work schedule that I would be able to do this.

If you remember a few month back I decided to have Junior my fiancé and the woman I consider a motherly figure, I call Mama Bear write an introduction of themselves because I want them to be able to contribute to my blog. Well, I talked with them again about writing a post once to twice and month and they agreed they would. In fact they both agreed they would post once a week. I am happy that they are willing to post weekly. The links Junior’s and Mama Bears introductions are: https://gertiesjourney.com/2016/05/29/introduction-junior/ and  https://gertiesjourney.com/2016/06/01/introduction-mama-bear/. I hope you take the time to read them.

This leads me to my next idea of making a schedule of posting more regularly. For me having a schedule is key to my recovery and it if having a schedule helps with my recovery it can help with my blog. As of yesterday, Saturday, September 2nd, I will be doing my weekly check-ins on Saturday mornings. Starting Wednesday, September 7th, Mama Bear will be posting on Wednesdays. Starting Friday, September 9th, Junior will posting on Fridays. Starting Sunday, September 11th I will be posting an educational piece on mental illness or a news article or story related to mental illness. Starting Monday, September 12th I will be getting back in my weekly prompts of writing fiction. From my end the only two days that need to be filled in regards to blogging are Tuesdays and Thursdays and I will be figuring out what to do for the remaining two days. At this point in time there will be no rush in figuring out what exactly will be on Tuesday and Thursdays because, I just want to make sure the I get into the groove with the new blogging schedule as well as reminding both Junior and Mama Bear to blog regularly so they can get in the groove of blogging as well.

I just hope I don’t let you my reader down if things don’t go as I plan. The reason for plan of having a regular schedule is because, I don’t want you my reader to get bored with my blog or to loose interest in my blog. I know I have stopped reading blogs because I have lost interest in them. Mainly, due to the fact that they don’t post on the regular basis. So, if I am posting on the regular basis, I hope people won’t loose interest.

Enough about me and my need find ways to keep my blogging active. I hope I didn’t bore you, although I am sure I did. I hope you have a nice and peaceful rest of your Sunday. Peace out, everyone.

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!! It’s that time of week again. The time when I do my weekly check-in. Saturday mornings seem to work for me in regards to doing my weekly check-ins. I hope that weekly check-ins can become a part of my Saturday morning routine like Saturday morning cartoons and a big bowl of cereal were when I was a child.

The last week has been an uncomfortable one for me. Or at least it has been uncomfortable for me at work. There was a “staff retreat” at work and the Peers were invited. Which, I was happy about. I was then approached by a case manager (who was a peer at one time) and a supervisor. I was asked by both of them if I would be willing to co-present Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) with the case manager. I opened my big mouth and said yes. I am NOT a big fan of public speaking or at least I don’t like to publically speak. Thankfully, my supervisor was not present for the retreat. Unfortunately for  me he heard through the grape vine on “how well” I did presenting the WRAP and wants me to start presenting more. He also wants me to start up a group sooner than later. He “likes” the fact that I’ve already have it “in the works.” Meaning that I have a case manager who will co-facilitate with me, a name for the group and what the group focus will be on.

The group focus will be for those who struggle with self harm. It will be half process group and half coping skills group. I worry on how well I will do co-facilitating a group. Partly because of the public speaking aspect of it. My supervisor likes the idea that the group will be focused on self harm because many agencies including mine don’t have groups specifically geared toward self harm and processing with learning skills. Many groups that have a focus on self harm are skills based without the processing part. My supervisor is “for” my group because it is both processing and skills based which is something that is needed for those who struggle with self harm. Being able to process and learn new skill is needed because it helps with recovery.

Recovery is not easy. I know in terms for my own recovery, I need to process stuff. Processing things is not easy. I know for me processing both the trauma I have experienced as well as the miscarriages has been quite helpful for me despite it being difficult. Even though processing is difficult, I wouldn’t be in recovery without processing stuff that has been hard to deal with throughout my life.

Overall my life has been going well. Yes, I have had some severe anxiety lately but I have been able to use my skills to help me through. Skills and my wonderful support system have helped me.

On that note, I would like to thank you for reading my blog. I hope that all  my blog is helpful to you all in some one or another. Have a wonderful day  and peace out!!

Ass+U+Me=Assume

Posted on by Gertie

I don’t really know where to begin. After doing a (scheduled) phone “check-in” with my therapist, I realized that I have some built up emotions. For example, my therapist sounded a lil surprised that I prefer the pronouns, they/them and not she/her. Its never been an issue until recently.

It hasn’t been an issue until recently due to colleagues making assumptions of me. Assumptions that are getting to me. For instance, I talk a great deal about my fiancé, Junior a great deal and have accidently said boyfriend. When they hear boyfriend most of my colleagues assume that I am straight. Well, I am not straight. I am pansexual. There are quite  a few of other assumptions that I can share but I won’t for a multitude of reasons.

I realize that maybe I should start “correcting” people on their assumptions and especially the pronouns but sometimes its not worth it for me. Its not worth it because, I have come to accept that even if I do “correct” people they won’t always remember or won’t accept my preferred  pronouns. For me self acceptance is more important than acceptance of others. I say this because others are more likely to accept you if you accept yourself.

I appreciate the time you took to read my blog. I hope to have an honest, respectful and open dialog on the issue of pronouns. Again, thank you for reading. Peace Out!!

Once Again, I’m On My Oh So Lovely Soap Box

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!! It’s another relaxing Sunday afternoon in my neck of the woods. As I was sitting on my couch relaxing, I was thinking about the many types of discrimination a person can experience. One of which is economical class discrimination.

There isn’t a day that I don’t think about economical class and discrimination especially when it comes discrimination toward low income individuals. I think about this daily for many reasons. One of which, is I recently experienced it recently, again.

Let me explain my most recent experience in economical class discrimination. I had to call the fine folks who run the city bus system to see where the bus was due to the fact that it had not arrived yet. I called on my basic touch phone which appears to be a smart phone but isn’t. When the fine folks on the other end finally picked up I had an extremely irritating conversation. The woman on the other end mentioned about getting the one bus away app. I had informed her that not everyone has the luxury of owning a smart phone due to finance’s. (This is the point in the conversation that gets quite infuriating.) The woman on the other end informed me that I needed to “learn how to budget.” The thought going through my head was; excuse me, I just didn’t fucking hear that or did I. End stead of say this, I asked for the supervisor and her response was, “I am the supervisor.” At this point, I hung up due to the fact I chose not to get on my soap box with this individual because it appeared from my end she would not be able to grasp it the idea of what she just did was a form of discrimination against low income individuals such as myself. I, of course made an official complaint and much to my surprise it was taken care of.

Like I said earlier in this post that there is not a day where I don’t think about economical class and the discrimination one deals with when they are low income. The reason being is because I live in a subsidized housing building and work at a mental health agency that primarily deals with individuals that are homeless or formally homeless. It’s difficult for me to not, not see the disparity in being low income. It’s irritating as hell when I hear comments such as “you need to learn how to  budget” or “get a job” or “you’re not disabled so you shouldn’t be receiving disability” and so on. I can go on with all of the comments I have heard said to me or the clients I serve. I guess, I am just attempting to point out that when people discriminate against those who are low income they are discriminating against the following: people of color, people other ethnicities, elderly, immigrants, LGBTQ, gender, those with a criminal background and the disabled (which includes those of us who struggle with a mental illness). (SIDE NOTE: I realize I may have missed other minority groups that are affected in low income and I apologize if I missed yours.) Discrimination of those who are low income means you are discriminating against them in another category as well.

As you can tell I get passionate about others being discriminated against. What people don’t realize is that being discriminated against because of your economical class is a very real issue and wish it was brought up more. I know its on the low end of the totem pole of issues that need to be brought up in whole grand scheme of things when it comes to discrimination but that is what I am brining it up in my blog. I am hoping that this entry can at least start a conversation about the topic.

I appreciate you reading my blog and hope that this entry does start a conversation. All I ask is that if you comment on this post that you are respectful. If I feel like you are not being respectful, I will not approve them. My blog, my rules. I just want the conversation to be started. Peace Out!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s been a couple of weeks since I last blogged. I know, I have said, this before, I want to blog more regularly. I enjoy blogging.

Enough about me talking about blogging and on to my weekly check-in. Let’s start with earlier this week. I was struggling with fleeting suicidal thoughts with no plans. It’s also commonly known in the mental health field as “passive suicide ideation.” Before I continue, I want to make myself clear, I am NOT currently suicidal and I did NOT harm myself in any way. I was able to use my good ole Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills as well as using my support system. It is always nice to have people to depend on especially since that wasn’t always the case for me. It is a wee bit concerning both my support system and myself that I had fleeting suicidal thoughts however everyone agrees that I am not letting it get me down because I am choosing to pick myself up and dusting myself off.  I’ve been able to do this for the fact of being in a relatively decent place. I owe being in a decent place to me working fulltime.

Speaking of work, lets talk about my high light of the week. Yesterday (Friday, 8/26/2016), was our recovery celebration for clients at work. Seeing clients facial expressions as they received their certificates and hearing the speeches of those who chose to speak was not only rewarding but humbling. Witnessing the progress of the clients I am able to serve has been an absolute honor for me to watch.

As, I finish  the post, I want to sum up the week with its been recovery focused. As always, thank you for reading. Its much appreciated from my end. Peace out, everyone!!