Tag Archives: Sleep

Enjoy the Benefits of Being Pregnant

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is hard to believe that despite severe PTSD symptoms that I have been surprisingly sleeping better and longer. Instead of my usual four hours of sleep, I have been getting about six to eight hours of sleep. I am so freaking happy that I am sleeping better and longer hours. The OBGYN informed me that the more restful and longer sleep is due to being in my first trimester of pregnancy.

Another thing that can happen during pregnancy is an increased sex drive which is currently happening to me. As someone who has an extensive trauma history and being traumatized again in the last six months this can be a scary thing. Despite it being somewhat scary my partner, Junior is being so sweet with the increased sex drive while understanding that PTSD can and will get in the way.

Of course I will discuss the PTSD stuff as well as the increased sex drive with my therapist. In fact I have an appointment with her today and I will officially let her know about being pregnant. I am sure my therapist and I will be discussing my mental health while being pregnant and will be an on going discussion for therapy.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

UGH!!! Someone Pulling Fire Alarm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am tired as hell as someone in my apartment building keeps pulling the fire alarm. It not only is pissing my neighbors and I off but the fine firefighters responding to the multiple fire alarm calls. The fire alarm has been pulled so many times tonight that the Seattle police are now investigating it and are currently here to see if whomever is pulling the fire alarm does it again.

Part of the reason myself and my neighbors are so pissed is that we keep evacuating like we are supposed to and the weather is extremely cold. It is even too cold for a lot of native born Seattleites and it is currently raining with some snow. Not only am I pissed due to the lack of sleep and it being cold outside with a rain and snow mixture, I am pissed with the stress it is causing my kitty, Billie. The sound of the fire alarm is ear piercing for a human and a million times worse for cats. My poor cat, Billie is not very happy about it but at least when the fire alarm goes off he does not fight getting into the cat carrier.

I do not have much more to write about as I really want to attempt to get back to sleep and I really hope the fire alarm does not get pulled again for something that is not a fire. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Love Does Help One With Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am currently struggling at the moment with some pretty major PTSD symptoms and some slight depression symptoms. Due to the PTSD symptoms I called my boyfriend, Junior and he came over. (Yes, Junior and I are back together after much discussion.) Junior and I talked for a couple of hours and we both fell asleep. It is nice to love someone who you know that hurts you or harms you.

Now that we are both up, Junior is fixing the both of us breakfast. He is making French toast and scrambled eggs and bacon. I am looking forward to breakfast this morning and I am beyond grateful to have a fresh and homemade breakfast that is soon to be ready to eat.

Billie, my cat really likes Junior. Hell, if Junior and I lived together, I am sure that Junior would be Billie’s human. Of course Billie likes most people and Junior and I have no plans on moving in with each other anytime soon no matter how much we love each other.

Well, I best be going as I want to help Junior finish making breakfast and I also do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just after three o’clock in the morning, Seattle time and sadly, I am unable to sleep. I woke up to a nightmare. Nightmares suck sh!t and I wish I didn’t have to deal with them but sadly they are a major symptom of PTSD for me.

Since the nightmare was almost as horrific as the trauma I experienced as a child, I am pretty sure what I am going to do to get myself relaxed enough to hopefully get back to sleep. I think I will try to read first. I think I will start reading the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. I have started this book a couple of times before but sadly never finished for various reasons.

If reading does not then, I will put on some music and do some artwork as I listen to the music. I am not sure what type of music I will listen to but I do know the type of artwork I will be doing. The type of artwork I will be doing is coloring. I enjoy coloring a great deal.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Morning Post Due to Waking up Too Early

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! At the start of writing this particular blog post it is 4:14 in the morning here in Seattle. I haven’t been getting much sleep due to the fact I most likely will be losing my job and having some insomnia over it. Some of the reasons I agree with while other reasons I don’t agree with due to the fact that I have not been able to use my reasonable accommodation request. I own up to the stuff that I haven’t need reasonable accommodation stuff but I just want to prove to my employer that I can do much better at my job if they allow me my reasonable accommodations.

Enough about work as I am trying to ge my mind off of work. by doing a number of things. First and foremost, I have been spending my time with my beloved cat, Billie. Having Billie by my side has been quite helpful. He is such an awesome and loving kitty. I am in awe of his unconditional love.

Besides my time with Billie, I have been doing my normal skill set to help myself through the challenging stuff the world throws at me such as artwork by coloring as well as reading. Let us not forrget about doing some mindfulness meditation practices. In fact I started to do log problems or logic puzzles. I find them quite fascinating Some are extremely challenging to .do but the satisfaction that comes with completing one is priceless. Plus I have a sense of pride when I am done with a logic problem or puzzle.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. It is greatly appreciated that you are the reader for reading my blog post. If it was not for you reading my blog post I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening here in Seattle and that means it is that time of the week where I give you my weekly check in. A check where I tell you what has happened for me during the past week. A week that doesn’t always as planned.

I started this week by attending an online twelve step meeting. A meeting that had a focus of step one and will continue to focus on step one for the next three to four weeks so folks can work on the step and not feel rushed doing it. I really connected with this group and let my sponsor know that. She will “attend” with me tomorrow as she has another sponsee that is doing step one plus my sponsor will be in attendance to support me.

Besides attending online twelve step meetings, I returned back to work. I am happy to be back to work despite having a corrective action plan (CAP) looming over my head. I also found out that I will be having my CAP meeting this Monday. I don’t think most of the CAP is fair but I will take responsibility for the parts that I know is fair like missing too many days even though I have medical reasons for missing too many days. As far as the adaptability part, I know I have issues with it however it is disability related and feel like I am in trouble due to my disability. I am also getting a CAP due to how my annual review went but that was done three and half months early which is why I am fighting the CAP. I don’t understand why I wasn’t informed sooner about what I need to work on.

I also had therapy this week. My therapist and I discussed many different things including work. We discussed coping skills around work as well as the mental health symptoms that I deal with on the daily basis. We talked about how attending twelve step meetings is “helpful” for me and my recovery. We also discussed how my symptoms are not as severe due to me doing daily mindfulness meditation practices at least twice daily. My therapist is awesome and I appreciate the fact that she not only points out what I need to work on but points out what I am doing well on.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Tired in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially Saturday morning here in Seattle and I sadly did not sleep well once again. I did not sleep well last night due to the fact that my building fire alarm system decided to malfunction once again. Needless to say I am not the only one who is pissed off about this.

Since I was not able to sleep very well last night, I did what I could to control my emotions regarding the fire alarm malfunctioning. One of the things I did to help myself was do a couple of mindfulness meditation practices. Mindfulness meditation practice helps me realize what I need to do.

One of the things I did last night in between evacuating my apartment building multiple times was read. I am reading Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far I am enjoying the book and I think it is worth reading so I recommend reading it.

Another thing I did last night was some arts and crafts. The type of art I did was color a gigantic poster I got from Stuff2Color.com. I really enjoy coloring. I also did some crafting by doing some cross stitching. I am hoping to finish a cross stitching project in time to give my mom a pillowcase for Christmas.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting My Way Through A Depressive Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am feeling very depressed at the moment. I really don’t like being depressed and I wish it would just go away. I know my depression will not go away especially this time of year when it usually gets worse due to the days getting shorter and the weather getting yuckier.

As depressed as I am, I am grateful that I am not suicidal. I am doing my various skills be to prevent myself from getting suicidal as being suicidal is no fund for anyone involved. One way I will help myself through this depressive moment is to do some artwork through coloring. I am coloring a couple of gigantic posters I bought from Stuff2Color.

Another way I am helping myself is reading while Billie, my cat, lays on my lap. I am in the middle of reading two different books. The one I am reading is Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter, by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far I am enjoying the book. I love reading especially when my cat is on my lap.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Feeling Well Enough to Go to Work Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am not feeling well enough physically to go to work today and I feel like I am big let down with my team right now. I have been vomiting a lot during the night. It is something I think is mental health related but my doctor just wants to make sure. So I see later today and hope to update after my doctors appointment.

I will update you in another blog post about why my doctor and therapist have to say. Peace Out!!!

Mid-Week Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! So far it has been one of them weeks for me and the week is not over yet. It’s been one of them weeks because it is my first week back to work from my second medical leave since a trauma happened to me back on July 31st. Anyway, I am still waiting on my corrective action plan (CAP) meeting and what I have to do to “pass it” which I am hoping I can do.

As far as the weather goes regarding my job as an outreach worker as a peer specialist has not been fun at all due to the rain. My feet get wet and I cannot afford water proof or water resistant shoes at the moment. Thankfully, I do have two pairs of shoes. One pair is for walking and the other pair is to make sure when I am inside my feet are not wet or cold so I don’t have to be a cranky bucket with my clients or colleagues.

Since the weather has been yucky and grey as well as it getting dark earlier and staying dark later, I have been using my happy light quite regularly. The happy light is helping a great deal with my depression and surprisingly helping with my anxiety and PTSD.

One of the things that have been helping me a great deal with depression, anxiety and PTSD besides the happy light is doing mindfulness meditation practices. Doing mindfulness meditation practices on a daily basis has proven to me that I am more productive with my day as well as being able to get better sleep.

I really do not have much of anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!