An Update on How Life is Going

Good Morning, World!!! It has been about a week and a half since my last post and I have been dealing with a great deal. First and fore most my mental health hasn’t been the best and sadly my job is not helping. In fact my job is not the best fit for me because it is an on call twelve hour night shift position and reeks havoc on my already horrific sleep schedule. Plus not knowing from day to day if I am going to need to drop every to go home and get some sort of sleep to be able be able to semi function at work and for me this is not helpful. Sadly, I am the only on call for this position so I get called in more times than I am able to work per my disability. I realize it is not my colleagues fault nor my direct supervisors fault as none of those individuals are the ones that have a direct say on who gets hired. And on that note, I am going to be putting in my two week notice at some point in the next couple of days due to the fact I know this job is not the best fit for me especially when it comes to sleep. Not only has my job been affecting my sleep, it has been affecting my physical health and this not a good thing. Worst of all it has been affecting my mental health disability which is not a good thing.

As far my job affecting many areas of my life I have decided I will be turning in my two weeks notice in the next few days. I am not really wanting to do so but since it is effecting my mental health, sleep, health and mental health, it is the best thing for me to do. Yes, I will be looking for a new job even if it is going back to working at a grocery for the time being.

Another thing that has happened is that the Beginning Comics Storytelling art class I have been taking has ended this past Friday (June 14th) which was really sad for me because I really enjoyed it. The best part of the class that everyone in the class got a copy of the comic book we put together. It has various types of comics in it as everyone had their own comic to put into the book and it is really cool. It is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I am really going to miss my classmates as well.

I do not have much more to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and/or following my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have an awesome day, Hell, I hope your week goes extremely well. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Dissociative State = Creative Brain & A Loving Cat Wanting to Help

Hello, World!!!! Why in the fuck do I have be dissociating at the moment especially since I am wanting to be in a creative groove. I think, I will be in the creative groove. My art may not come out like I would want but it might turn out better. As for writing I can incorporate it to some of the art I am doing. Kind of like poetry. I could even work on my storytelling comics and use some collaging. I have so many idea when it come to my creative side.

I think when I am out of this dissociated state, I will have some awesome art work and writings that might have some poetry. May my next post will be the art work I have done or the poetry that was written.

I hope that I can be creative after this post. That is my goal. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Yucky Weather Type of Day

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been one of those yucky type of days weather wise to where you don’t want to do shit. Since it has been one of those days you want to stay inside, I have been doing just that. When the weather is yucky this time of year in Seattle, I tend to stay inside. I have been reading since my last post and have been enjoying it. I love to read and find any excuse to do so and today I am using the excuse of not so pleasant weather. In fact reading helps me a great deal. It helps me get out of my head and forget my problems. It is like a vacation without all the hassle of planning one.

Not only have I been reading, I am about to head out in this yucky weather to go to the free art class I am taking. The class I am taking is called Beginning Comics Storytelling and I am enjoying it. It is an eight week class and sadly I missed last week due to traveling out of town.  I love the fact that the art class I am taking involves things I enjoy which include; art, comics, storytelling and writing. I am grateful that my therapist suggested signing up for the program that offers the free art classes.

Speaking of my art class I need to get going so I can be on time to my class. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Random Update

Happy Friday, World!!! A great deal has happened since I last posted. In fact, I vaguely remember writing my last post as I was dissociating on and off through it. In fact my mental health treatment team is quite concerned about how much I have been dissociating and how long the episodes last. In fact I am just as concerned as they are. As concerned as I am in regards to my dissociative episodes, I am more fearful of them than anything else.

Last Friday at this time I was traveling to a small rural town in eastern Oregon to visit my great aunt and uncle with my grandpa, dad and two uncles. I normally don’t mind travelling but when you are in a normal sized car with four other people and you are stuck in the middle seat in the back for six plus hours, it’s the most comfortable of experiences. I, however do enjoy visiting my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon. I enjoy visiting both because they are both awesome at storytelling especially when it comes to family history.

After my grandpa, dad and two uncles visited my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon, we drove to Spokane, Washington to not only visit another great aunt but my grandma’s grave. It was nice seeing this great aunt but I was more grateful to visit my grandma’s grave. Not only did I see my great aunt and visit my grandma’s grave, I saw two friends who live in Spokane.

After traveling several hundred miles in two states I was extremely happy to get home on Monday (May 13th). I was happy to get home to my cat, Lil Gertie and sleep in my own bed. In fact, my cat, Lil Gertie, lectured me for a good five minutes. While I was out of town a neighbor who is a good friend watched Lil Gertie for me. I attempted to give him fifty dollars for his time watching, Lil Gertie, but he would only accept twenty five dollars. It’s great to have friends who will help you out when needed.

Going back to the topic of my therapist, I had a session with him. Unfortunately, I don’t remember it because I was in a dissociative state. He has been calling me daily to check in on me. Checking in on me on the daily basis is his way of being proactive and preventive of keeping me out of the hospital for psych reasons even though I am not suicidal or have urges to self harm. The reason why I would be in the hospital for psych ward would  be for the dissociative episodes which would leave me in a vulnerable state. I am all for keeping me out of the hospital as the hospital is not very fun.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

HaPpY fRiDaY

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been a few days since I last blogged and I don’t even remember writing my last post. The dissociation is starting to become more frequent and the period of time that I am in a dissociative state is getting longer. This is quite concerning to both myself and my therapist.

In fact when I saw my therapist this past Tuesday (April 30th), we discussed the session we had on April 23rd as I was dissociated throughout that particular session and how an hour later I called apologizing for my appointment. I don’t remember calling much less going to my appointment with my therapist on April 23rd. My therapist was so concerned over that he was thinking about putting me on a 72 hour hold for an involuntarily hospitalization but decided to hold off on it to see what will happen. I am so grateful that he didn’t put me in the hospital involuntarily but it could still be an option for him if it continues especially if I end up self harming in a dissociative state. I am glad he was honest with me in regards to this as many therapist in the community mental health system don’t convey that information to their clients.

As concerning as my dissociation is at the moment, I have applied for a new job at another young adult shelter. I applied to another shelter due to the fact that it has my study hours than my current employer. The job I would be doing is supervising volunteers during their shift in the shelter. The best part of this is I still get to help young adult experiencing homelessness while mentoring volunteers as they to help the young adults.

Speaking of work, I love my current job for the most part. The only thing I really don’t like is that it is an on-call position at night and it is a twelve hour shift. I don’t mind it being at night or it being twelve hours but I never know when I am going to get called in and there might be more times were I have two days in a row of appointments and get called in like last night. I had appointments and classes all day yesterday as well as today and I worked last night. The only reason why I even said yes to last night (Thursday) is because my co-worker is in the ICU due to a blood clot and I had said no to three previous opportunities to work. So more or less I felt guilty and took the shift on guilt plus my co-worker being in the ICU isn’t exactly their fault.

Even though I was dead tired from working last night and being up since five in morning yesterday (Thursday) I still attended the art class this afternoon despite not getting any sleep. I think I mentioned that I am taking an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” It is a free class through a non-profit organization that helps low income individuals with being able to enjoy the arts. My therapist encouraged me to sign up for an art class and was able to get into the class I had chosen as my first choice. I am really enjoying the class thus far.

In fact the class really helped with some PTSD symptoms today. The PTSD symptoms that I experienced today was due to getting my first mammogram today and that was not only difficult but extremely painful. I am just glad I got it taken care of. In fact both my doctor and therapist checked with me in regards to the mammogram. Having so many medical appointments lately sucks but if it helps with current or potential health concerns I am all for it. I just don’t like having so many medical appointments.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

A Sunny Monday In Seattle

Happy Monday and Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. Sadly, I have also realized that at this point in time I am not blog on average of three times a week as I had stated in a New Years goal I want to accomplish for 2019. I, say an average of three times a week as life happens and I might not be able to write multiple times a week. Even though it is two days before May Day (May 1st), I can still accomplish the goal of blogging an average of three times a week this year as the year isn’t even half over yet.

Since we are on the topic of not blogging I do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging for nearly a week. Long story short I live in a “secure building” and as I was unlocking my door to my apartment someone came up from behind me from a stairwell hardly nobody uses and shove me into my apartment. While in my apartment, the person physically assaulted me and I personally thing he would have sexually assaulted me if given the chance as he attempted to pull down the pants I had on at the time. I started screaming and at this time from my understanding two neighbors called 911. One of the neighbors who called 911 then knocked on my door which scared the person physically assaulting me and the dude went running down the hall. This is when I called 911. I did inform the 911 dispatcher that I needed medical attention as I was hit in the head with a hammer. The dispatcher kept me on the phone till the fire department came to my door. The firefighters asked where the police were and I said “I have no clue” and they then radioed their dispatcher asking for Seattle Police to come to the scene. Long story short, it took Seattle Police officer 45 minutes from the first 911 call to finally show up. The police figure printed my door and the fire department took me to the closest hospital for treatment. I have a concussion.

Due to the concussion I have been laying low and doing a lot of self care. Self care that include a lot of things, one of which involve an art class I signed up for that is free for folks who are involved with certain programs. I, signed up for an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling” and it started last Friday (April 26th). I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am grateful that it is free and that I qualify for taking it. I am looking forward what I am going to learn in this class.

I have also done many other things to do self care which I may or may not discuss in another post as staring at my laptop screen is causing me to get another headache due to the concussion I have from the assault I experienced last week. Headaches suck shit but headaches due to a concussion suck shit even more.

I am going to go for now. The weather is wonderful today in Seattle and I want to enjoy it for multiple reasons. Plus, it is a great form of self care to enjoy the sun. I love when the Seattle weather is awesome like today.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things and hope you all continue to read my blog. I hope everyone has a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!