Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Eve (aka Thursday) Ramblings

Happy Friday Eve, World!!! Friday Eve is also known at Thursday or at least it is here on the West Coast of the United State of America. I am really glad that it is Thursday and that I took yesterday (Wednesday) off. As much as I love my job, today was a particularly tough day for me emotionally. The topics my clients discussed with me today, triggered some of my own issues which is to be expected from time to time.

As I write this particular blog, I am sitting in my bed with my cat, Billie Dean laying right next to me. He is purring up a storm and nudging my hand so he can be petted. I love my sweet kitty, Billie as is my best friend and gives me unconditional love.

After, I finish this particular blogs, I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy as I do some art by coloring a coloring book with some swear words in it. Actually, the podcast on philosophy I will be listening to is Philosophize This. Listening to this podcast as I do some art work by coloring, helps me learn. I am grateful for what I am learning about philosophy as I create some art work by coloring.

The weather in Seattle is becoming sucky as it is getting windy and the rain will come shortly. Windy here isn’t exactly as windy as the Santa Anna winds in California and definitely not as strong as a tornado or hurricane. So, the Seattle weather is perfection for listening to a podcast on philosophy as I do art work by coloring.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Full of Blah’s

Happy Late Friday Evening, World!!! Well, it is still Friday in my neck of the woods that is known as Seattle. In fact, Seattle is now in the yucky season when it comes to weather which means rain. On a good note at least it is not snow. I am not a big fan of snow. Hell, I am not a big fan of the cold that comes with the snow. So, I guess, I am grateful for the typical Seattle weather that is currently happening.

Now that we are off the topic of weather, I didn’t go into work again today. Sadly, my anxiety and depression are still acting up. I wish it wasn’t. Maybe the weather does fit my mood. I wish my mood didn’t fit what the weather is doing outside here in Seattle. Having depression and anxiety acting up at the same time sucks shit. As much as I wish I wasn’t dealing with both anxiety and depression, I am glad I have been doing some self care

The self care I have been doing is listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, the philosophy podcast, I have been listening to is Philosophize This. I really enjoy this podcast. The best part of listening to this podcast is I get to learn about stuff I didn’t learn in school.

As I listen to Philosophize This I color. I color because it is a form of mindfulness for me. It is a mindful meditation for me because it gives me a sense of peace and purpose. It helps me focus on what I need to do.

Another thing that gives me focus isn’t a thing but an animal. Billie Dean, my cat gives me focus. Billie also gives me purpose in my life. He gives me purpose because he depends on me. Billie depends on me by feeding him, cleaning out his litter box and of course playing with him as well as giving him pets and attention.

I not know have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Night Sleep Will Help

Hello, World!!! I am slightly feeling better than I was three hours ago. There is still a shit load of shit in my head but I continued doing what I was doing and it helped.

Having my cat lay next to be as I colored has been quite helpful. Also, while coloring listening to a podcast about philosophy helped a great deal as well. I feel like I am learning a great deal from Philosophize This. I wish I was able to learn this in high school but sadly I did not learn it.

As far as the coloring goes, I am making some major progress and hope to take a picture of it so I can share it with you. Coloring is a form of mindfulness for me. I know it sounds weird but it is a form mindfulness for me.

Speaking of mindfulness, I need to finish this particular blog post so I can do a mindfulness exercise before going to bed. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night all. Peace Out, World!!

A Look into My Shit Hole of a Brain

Good Evening, World!!! I am not in a good space to be writing this post but just want to let you that my brain is being a shithole right now. My brain is just going all of the place. Part of me wonders if taking a client to their dental appointment yesterday played apart in this but I am doing the best I can.

My brain is causing me some imposter syndrome and have mixed emotions around this. I feel like I am an imposter even though I am not the only that deals with this. My cat helps me keep my imposter syndrome in check.

After getting off work I have been doing some art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring a book a friend of mine who is also a neighbor. My friend gave me a the perfect coloring book. While I coloring, I am listening to the podcast Philosophize This. I really get an education from this podcast. An education I never got in high school.

So that is that shit that is going on in my mind at moment. I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Mostly Lazy Sunday

Hello, World!!! It is 9:14pm here in Seattle. The weather in Seattle has made today a mostly lazy Sunday. I say mostly because I did volunteer at PAWS Cat City this morning. I love volunteering and enjoy being able to help people find new family members with adopting a cat.

Speaking of cats, I spent most of the day with my own cat, Billie Dean. Billie and I enjoyed our Sunday being lazy while enjoying ourselves doing a handful of things which included watching football, listening to a philosophy podcast called Philosophize This and doing mindfulness.

I spent some of my day focusing on mindfulness. I did this by doing a mindfulness practice with the Calm app. I also focused on mindfulness by doing a mindfulness journal as well as a mindfulness workbook. I am focusing on mindfulness because I know it helps me a great deal as well as keeps me focused on my recovery.

Besides doing mindfulness stuff, I also listened to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I have been listening to is Philosophize This. As I mentioned in previous blog post, I really enjoy this podcast and learn a great deal from it.

Another thing I did today was watch Sunday Night Football. I watched the 49ers play the Packers. The last half the game was great but sadly the 49ers lost. I am a 49er fan living in Seattle which means I live in enemy territory even though I am also a Seahawk fan. I wish the 49ers would have won but sadly they did not.

I do not have anything else to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday the 13th Post

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! It is the start of another weekend for me and it happens to be Friday the 13th. I really like Friday the 13th for some reason. I am not sure why but I do. Maybe it is because people think it is a day of bad luck when it is not.

I am glad to be home from work. It has been a long week at work. It has also been a good week at work. Today, work went by fast and I am thrilled about that. I am also thrilled that I went into the office today since the office has air conditioning and my air conditioning isn’t set up yet.

It is a hot day in Seattle today. Not as hot as it was back in June but hot enough to be some place with an air conditioner. This summer has reminded me a great deal about my childhood in California due to the heat and the not so lovely smog. I miss certain things about California and smog is not one of the things I miss. Living in Washington (State) has its advantages and one of those advantages is not dealing with smog. Sadly, smog is starting to be a common thing during the summer here.

Despite it being nice and warm here in Seattle, I am going to stay inside most of the weekend. The reason being is because whenever there is a Friday the 13th, I do a movie marathon of watching all twelve Friday the 13th movies. Yes, I now that is weird but it is something I have done for my mental health recovery that happens two to three times a year but doesn’t happen too often and is something to look forward to. I know the movies are corny and old school but that’s what makes it special.

As I spend the weekend watching Friday the 13th movies, that means I will be spending it with my cat, Billie Dean. I am looking forward to watching movies with my cat, Billie. When I was a teenager and twenty something, I never thought a weekend at home watching movies with my cat would be fun or relaxing. Oh how things change as weekends at home is always a good thing.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you my reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

The Weather Sucks but Friends & Cats Don’t Suck

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am suppose to be working and am on the clock. I just don’t have anything going for work regarding clients or meetings till twelve noon Seattle time. I am also all caught up on paperwork. I’m not a big fan of paperwork which is why I do it as soon as possible so it is not hanging over my head like a dark cloud.

Speaking of dark clouds, the weather in Seattle sucks today even for Seattle’s weather. Days like today in the weather department does make it easier to work from home. Also, days like today doesn’t help my depression. At least the sucking weather fits my sucky mood of depression.

My depression might be acting up which is why I decided to go out to breakfast with a friend of mine. My friend and I went to breakfast to catch up with each other and what is going on in each other’s lives. I am always happy to catch up with friends especially over a good meal. The best part of the meal with my friend was sharing funny stories about our cats.

Since we are now on the topic of cats, I will be volunteering this evening at PAWS Cat City. I am looking forward to it. I love volunteering at PAWS Cat City. It always brightens my day as well as my week when I volunteer especially when my depression is acting up.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Today’s Weather Fits My Mood

Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been quite awhile since I last blogged. I can come up with a million excuses. Some of which are legit excuses however I’m not going to use them as I know I can make time to blog. I know I can make time to blog as I have done it before.

Enough of me talking about blogging and making time for it. Time to discuss how I am currently feeling. I am depressed. I am not one hundred percent sure why I am currently depressed but I know I will get through this as I have done it before in the past. Being depressed suck but at least the current weather here in Seattle fits my mood.

The weather in Seattle is a bit on the dreary side. It is grey, slightly sprinkling with a breeze which is a typical Seattle day or at least for this time of year as well as early autumn. As much as I am not a fan of current weather, I am grateful for it because it fits my mood as well as it makes it easier to work from home.

Working from home isn’t all that easy especially when it is nice outside. Working from home has it’s pro’s and con’s. One con is that I get distracted easier which is why I am currently blogging. One of the pro’s to working from home is I get to sleep in. Another pro is I get to spend time with my cat, Billie Dean. Having Billie as a colleague is great for my morale.

Speaking of cats, I am going to be volunteering at PAWS Cat City today after work. I am looking forward to it especially after a tough week at work. I’m not at liberty to say due to HIPAA laws but doing a volunteer shift I typically don’t do will help with the depression and tough week. I love my volunteer job and spending time with cats that will be getting a new home.

Before I end this particular blog post, I was finally assigned a new therapist at the community mental health agency I am a client of. I met with her on Tuesday. She appears to be nice. She has some awesome tattoo’s. I hope she will be good and able to help me. I will have therapy with her every two weeks which is a good thing.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday and Peace Out World!!!