Tag Archives: Love

Nightmares Suck!!!

Posted on by Gertie

     Good morning Thursday! It is 1:46 in the morning pacific time and I am awake from a screaming nightmare. Waking up from a nightmare is not very fun. I am tired as hell. Waking up my boyfriend from my nightmares is not my idea of fun. He is helping me through this difficult moment of waking up from a horrific nightmare. PTSD is a daily struggle. In fact it is a nightly struggle as well. If it wasn’t for his support or the support of my friends when my nightmares act up I would have some pretty lonesome nights. I choose to depend on my support system to help me through difficult moments like my nightmares.

     Another way to help myself through rough times like these is read books such as A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles  Dickens. Most of the time I end up reading a comic book. Mainly I read Wonder Woman comic books to get my mind back on track so I can get back to bed. Sometimes watching comedies like The Cosby Show helps me relax enough to get back to sleep. Sometimes I watch comedy movies to help make me laugh. Laughter make me relax to where I can calm myself down enough so I can eventually get some sleep.

    If it wasn’t for the love and support of my boyfriend supporting me right now I would be dealing with it by myself. I also get support from friends when I ask for it. The hard thing for me is asking for the help. So accepting help from my boyfriend is a major accomplishment for me. Depending on your natural support system is a major sign of the recovery process.

    I think it’s time for me to try to go back to bed and get some sleep. I do have a doctors appointment in the morning regarding my burned fingers. They still hurt like hell. Have a good night sleep all. I will let you all know what my doctor says about my burned fingers after my appointment. Peace out and have a goodnight sleep.

ONE BIG OUCH (No Make That 3 Big Ouches)

Posted on by Gertie

     Hey! It’s still Tuesday. I am typing this blog in pain. Why are you in pain you ask. Well, I forgot to turn the burner off all the way and went to clean it and well I burned the tops of three of my fingers. So when I burned my fingers my boyfriend gave me ice as he put our dinner away that we had just fixed but not eaten yet and then he took me to the Emergency Room (ER). Surprisingly I only spent 45 minutes in the ER. I got some cream stuff to put on my fingers. Yes I am already getting blisters on 2 out of my 3 burned fingers. In all honesty I don’t think I should be typing right now. My fingers hurt like hell. I do have to say that both the Attending physician and Resident Physician were extremely pleasant and helpful. The nurse of course of extraordinary. I was told to not go to my volunteer job tomorrow and am really disappointed about that. I enjoy my volunteer job.

     It looks like since I am unable to volunteer tomorrow that I will be doing a lot of reading. If you haven’t read A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, I encourage you to read it. I am enjoying the book immensely. 

     I should get going for two reasons. One: Dinner is finally reheated and am hungry. So its time to eat. Two: My fingers are in extreme pain and I should stop typing now. I am hoping to blog tomorrow but if I don’t you know why. Have a good Tuesday evening everyone. Peace out and take care of yourselves.

Boyfriend, Brother and Books

Posted on by Gertie

     Hey! It’s a beautiful sunny Saturday where I live. After I got home from work I received a text from my boyfriend, seeing if I wanted to do something. I of course said yes. He came and picked me up and we went to a local park that has a lake and we had a picnic. He made some fried chicken, potato salad and chocolate chip cookies for us to eat our picnic. It was all really delicious. After we ate we walked around the lake which 3.3 miles. We of course held hands. I honestly thought I would never fall in love because of the struggles I have with having a mental illness. My boyfriend a normie. A normie is a normal person. In my opinion it takes a great deal of strength on his part to be my partner. I’ve known my boyfriend for 14 years now but we have only been dating for a year. He has been a great support for me over the years and is a pretty amazing dude. I know without a shadow of doubt that if I didn’t choose to be in recovery I would not be in a positive romantic relationship at the moment.

     After our time at the park my boyfriend dropped me off at my place where I decided to call my lil brother. He is a sweet kid even though he is a grown man. Despite our 11 year age difference we are close. I like to call him two or three times a week to check up on him. I check up on him because he has his own struggles with a disability or two. I still haven’t asked him if I can tell you all what his disabilities are. I think the reason why I haven’t is because I am being the protective older sister. That’s why I haven’t shared his name with you. I’m debating if I want to use his real name if I have his permission or a pseudonym. In all honesty I probably will end up using a pseudonym for his protection. My brother means the world to me. He is the only family member I trust with my life. My brother is one of the funniest people I know. He should be a stand up comedian.

     So after talking with my lil brother, I picked up the book I am currently reading and read a couple of chapters. I’m still reading the memoir, The Center Cannot Hold; My Journey Through Madness, by Elyn R. Saks. It’s about her struggle with schizophrenia and how she managed to get her education at three of the most prestigious colleges in the world. I don’t want to give too much away. I’m almost done with the book. I have only about a hundred pages left and am kind of sad that I am almost finished with it. Whenever I end a book if feel like I’m saying goodbye. I’m not to keen on goodbyes. For me reading helps me a great especially if I am struggling. Thankfully I am not struggling at the moment but I do read on the regular basis because I enjoy it immensely. Elyn R. Saks story is extremely inspirational.

     I hope that someday I can be an inspiration to others like Elyn R. Saks is to me and many others. Elyn R. Saks is also in recovery from mental illness. I started this blog in hopes that I can show others struggling with mental illness that recovery is possible. I also hope that normies (or “normal” people) can see that people with mental illness are just like. I hope that I can change someone’s negative thoughts toward the mentally ill to become neutral or positive because I was to eliminate the stigma of mental illness.

    I’m wanting to get back to reading so I’m going to end this blog entry for now. I hope you have a good Saturday evening and enjoy whatever you are doing at the moment. Peace Out.