Too Early to be Awake on a Sunday

Good Morning, World!!! I guess its officially Sunday around the world that it is now past three in the morning in Seattle and Hawaii is three hours behind of us or I think they are. Anyway I was woken up partly because it’s cold in my apartment and needed to turn on the heat and part because Billie want his water from the bathroom sink faucet and not his two fountain water bowls or his other water bowl that looks like a water cooler.

I love my cat Billie Dean that if he wants to wake me up just after three o’clock in the morning for his preferred way of drinking water, I’m not going to say no especially since my apartment is cold and I needed to on the heat. I hate being too cold or too hot when I am trying to sleep especially when it’s cold.

On that note my precious love bug of a cat, Billie Dean is now in my lap purring on my lap. Billie is such a love bug and is very much a lap cat. He to quite the talker (meowing) at times and when I am trying to sleep it can be a bit annoying but it’s way to get love and attention when I am in the middle of doing something like having a good a sleep.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Range of Emotions

Hello, World!!! As I write this particular blog, I am writing in between clients and writing note about clients. I guess it’s one of the luxuries of being able to work from home part of the time. I really love my job but today has been a tough one and I am not sure why. Be back later, I have a client to see.

Okay, now I’m back after two sessions with clients and writing their notes so their insurance can pay my employer. I love my job most days and normally don’t feel drained but I’m feeling drained because nobody really knows if my employer is actually closing or not.

I blame the board of directors on this and am happy that the county is wanting to keep us open but it appears like nothing is being done. We have no leadership left. We do have one HR person left and two of the four remaining supervisors are leaving in May.

I have a range of emotions because I love my job and am grateful for it. I’m also angry, depressed and full of anxiety of what is going on. The county is giving us some hope but not much.

Working from home is helping me today because I have Billie to help me with my emotions. I love my cat so much. I wish could talk more about Billie but I have another session with a client and then a meeting. So, thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Gratitude of Ramblings

Hello, World!!! The last month and a half has been a whirl wind especially at work. My past and current collogues have been nothing but awesome. Despite the board directs wanting to close our agency down there is some hope because the county wants us to stay open. To me the very little hope is what is keeping me going. That and the clients we serve.

I’m also grateful to the blogging community for the support you are giving me. You fellow bloggers are a big reason I continue to blog and that is because of of the support you give to me and others.

Now on to my friends, family and my cat, Billie Dean. I wouldn’t have gone through this if it it wasn’t for your support. The same support my colleagues give me .

The love and hope a receive from all of you helps me stay in my recovery and helps me keep focused on the clients my employer serves. Thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Without you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night in Seattle for this Human but not the Cat

As I mentioned in my last post a colleague of mine attempted suicided. This friend and colleague are going to make it. I visited for a couple of hours and came home to do some self care. Self care that included reading about Seattle History while holding my teddy bear and other stuffed animals. Of course I am unable to sleep due to my colleague but my cat is sure sound asleep snoring a way. I love my cat so much and am appreciative that you read my blog not matter how debby downer it is or positive polly it is and everything in between. Thank you for being loyal readers.

Weekly Check In

It is another Saturday night in Seattle. Of course I am spending it alone with my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie has been helping me with the depression and the anxiety. My friends and family have been helping as well, like my cat Billie as well as my colleagues. It feels great to feel loved by my pet cat as well as my friends, family and colleagues.

The best part of this week is that I will be there to the last day which is May 6th. I might even be there to September but that is not one hundred percent yet. At least there is somewhat of a date. I really love this job and feel like I have a niche at this job.

It is a sad day in a America when the longest queer mental health agency is closing down. My employer serves more than two thousand clients and it breaks my heart that the clients have to go to other agencies that has caused trauma to them.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update About Layoffs

Good Morning, from Seattle. This hasn’t been the best couple of weeks regarding work as my employer is closing down. On the the plus side I will be there to the end which is May 6th. King County and my employer are trying to stay open so the interns can get their hours to graduate. The county is also trying to get my agency to merge with another agency. To me that is good news.

The heartbreaking news is not knowing if we are going to close or merge with another agency as a lot of clients have been traumatized by other agencies. I don’t want to retraumatize the clients my employer serves.

Another great news, my colleges, friends and family have all been supported of me and me of them. I am feeling the love from the people around me. I am happy that I have a job to at least May 6th and maybe till mid September.

As far as my cat goes, he has been loving on me and cuddling me. He seems to know something is wrong. Wrong with all the tears I have been crying.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog.. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just About Rumblings

Hello, World!!!! I went to work today via going to the office tomorrow. I love going into the office as it gives me more proactive ways to do to do some work. I love my job and am sad that my employer is going under which means everyone is getting laid off. I am concerned about my clients that my employer serves. The need the help they need in the queer community .

On that note I had to go to the hospital due to having an injury. I have some major bruisers and a broken finger. My boss says I could work from home due to my injury. I love my job and that y supervisor isn’t a micromanager. My servicer is awesome.

I am happy to be home with my cat and he is helping me with the grief of being laid off from my employer. I love the fact that he comforts me with the grief with the laid offs.

I do not have much ore to say about this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog.

Overall A Good Vacation Despite the Unknown of my Lay Off Date

Good Morning, World!!! Despite finding out that my employer will be going our of business a week before my vacations and six days before my 43rd birthday, I had a good vacation and birthday. Granted it could have been better, I didn’t let it get me down.

I did not let it get it down because I had the love and support from friends, family, colleagues and of course my cat Billie Dean. I enjoyed my time in Bremerton and knowing that I have people and cats on my side supporting me. I am grateful that I had a vacation. I think I needed it so I can be the be I can be for my clients and my colleagues.

I don’t have much more to say in thing particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It it greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 10: Let the Scene Write Itself

Right now I am working from home. I am sitting in a comfy chair in front of my work computer. Technically, it’s a laptop but you get the idea. I am looking at my schedule for the day. Nothing but meetings all day. Well, not all day; I am seeing two client virtually today.

Not only do I see my work laptop, I see my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is on his cat tree looking out my living room window. I’m not sure if he is seeing a bird or two or even a squirrel but Billie is looking intently at something outside.

Another thing I see is the wall in front of me. It has pictures. Pictures of my beloved family. A family that may be dysfunctional but at least I know my family loves me. I know they love me even when we don’t get along. I love my family.

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!