Despite How I Was Feeling, Thankfully, I Was Not Hospitalized

Good Evening, World!!! If you read my last post you know that I was in an extremely bad place. A bad place to where I needed to take myself to the hospital to keep myself safe. I was in the emergency room for thirteen hours and my therapist and I agreed that I did not be on an inpatient psych unit and that I could have a two appointments with him this week. Our usual scheduled appointment for today (Tuesday) and another one on Thursday before my DBT group. So after seeing my therapist in the hospital emergency room yesterday (Monday), I was able to get discharged from the hospital.

Now that it is Tuesday afternoon, I would like to tell you that I attended both of my scheduled appointments today. The first one was with my therapist and end up being an hour and a half appointment which was very productive. We discussed a number of things in regards to the increasing symptoms of my mental health challenges.

I also say my employment specialist who we both like to consider her more of a career coach than an employment specialist because she is more of a career coach for me than an employment specialist. Yes, there is a difference between the two but I can no put words to it at the moment. She is helping me find a career in the field I want to be in.

Both my Career Coach and my Therapist suggested I read books that would be educational for me. The type of books the you would buy for college courses. They both agreed it would be quite helpful with my spare time and even more helpful for me when I am working a twelve hour overnight shift, it could help keep me busy during the boring moments of my job. Reading books geared toward classes for colleges students will help me educate myself and be an informal education.

My therapist loves the fact that I have a goal to read at least one book month for pleasure. He thinks it is a great idea that I am actually scheduling it into my day to read. Another thing my therapist is pleased about is that I am doing a daily gratitude list every morning. He informed me today “despite your current set backs, you are also making some progress with willing to try do others things to help with your recovery.” So I guess despite all the set backs I guess I am making some sort of progress with willing to do things to help myself out when I would normally not be willing to do.

I am extremely grateful that saw my therapist and career coach today. It really helped me realize that despite feeling the way I did, I really didn’t need to be in a psych ward at the moment.  Being in the community is what is best for me. My therapist did say if things get worse then hospitalization might have to be an option but right now it is not as being in the community is the best option for me.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

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Happy Birthday, To Me

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. It being twelve midnight, I can say that I am now officially forty years old. Today is a big day for me because it is my 40th birthday. Turning forty for anyone is a major deal however it is a bigger deal for me that most people because there was a point in time where I didn’t think I would live to see forty. I didn’t think I would live to see forty because I sincerely thought I would have taken my own life. Yes, I thought I would die by suicide. Turns out that recovery happened. When recovery happens then you have the will to live most day. Yes, I did say most days. The days where the will to live is lower then that’s when you seek out the support you need to seek out. I am so happy to be forty and I hope I have at least forty plus more years of being in recovery.

Yes, I do plan on celebrating my birthday. In fact I have a couple of celebrations already planned with others. I also have my own personal plans to celebrate turning forty. In fact I hope to post about the various celebrations in a later post. I say this as I really want to finish watching The Tonight Show. It is one of my favorite shows to watch. In fact there is nothing better than bringing in any birthday than with laughter and humor.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I am just really grateful to be alive. I am beyond grateful that I chose to be in recovery as I do not have a clue where I would be at this moment in time. So I am full of gratitude for my life, recovery and everyone who has helped me along the way.

I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I really do enjoy sharing my story of recovery with each one of you. I hope everyone enjoys today. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Hello, World!!! It is after ten at night in my neck of the woods and realized that I have done multiple post today but not my usual one of a weekly check in. My week honestly has been a pretty boring one.

I went to art group on Monday. Tuesday, I went to my med management appointment as well as Hearing Voices Group. I also saw my therapist on Tuesday where I gave him a Mandala I colored for him. I informed him that me giving him a piece of art work is a sign of trust. We discussed a specific trauma I had as more of a sign of trust I have in him. I also discussed with him despite the depression and PTSD symptoms I was experiencing that I was checking in with myself regarding having gratitude in my life. My therapist appeared honored that I trusted him with my art work, gratitude in my life and the trauma I shared with him.

I also did a great deal of art work this week. Specifically coloring Mandala’s. I also volunteered three places this week. So I have been keeping myself busy.

The thing I am most proud of is trusting my therapist. Thank you so much for reading. Have a great Saturday night. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed Yet Grateful

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning depressed yet grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to be alive as I am realizing that I never would have thought when I was in my late teens and early twenties that I would live to be my current age of 39. I thought way back when that I would have been dead due to suicide.

Despite being depressed and unemployed, I am grateful for my life and the life I have lived thus far. Yes, I have made my fare share of mistake however they have helped shaped who I am today. I have decided to share with you my gratitude list for the day.

  • Life itself
  • My cat, Lil Gertie
  • My family
  • My friends
  • The blogging community
  • The mental health help I am getting
  • My therapist
  • My doctors
  • My apartment
  • My teddy bear
  • Being able to read
  • Music
  • Being able to play the flute and harmonica
  • Summer

That is my gratitude list for today. I hope it helps you find the little things in life to be grateful for. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated on my end that I have people that read my blog. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Grateful Even For Depression

Good Evening, World!!! I’m sitting here grateful for the shit I have been through. Yes, even the negative and bad shit. I am grateful for it as it has made me who I am. Yes, my depression is still slightly acting up however I am still grateful. I am even grateful for the depression I am dealing with. I am grateful for it as it has helped shaped me as a person and made me stronger.

I realized this gratitude after journaling in my gratitude journal. I may not like to admit I am strong person but I am grateful that I am in space that I am able to do so on occasion. Being grateful in the face of difficult times is a huge success for me and my recovery.

Being grateful for my what I have is a good thing and Junior is telling me dinner is reading. We are having Lasagna. Junior makes some great Lasagna. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!