It’s Been A Couple Of Days

Hello, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. In all honesty things haven’t been going all that well for me and surprisingly I haven’t been hospitalized. Mainly, because I have been isolating so I won’t do anything. No, I am not currently suicidal nor am at risk of self harming myself. I have been disassociating bad enough that I lost track of my days and missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday.  So, since I missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday, I think it might be a wise decision for me to try to connect with him at some point today.

Due to the dissociation I don’t remember much of this week including yesterday, the first day of summer.  For me the solstice is a major deal especially the summer solstice. It helps me remember to focus on my goals for the year and to see where I am at with my goals. Goals that I wanted to go over with my therapist yesterday with my therapist.

I have an inkling that there is a very small chance of me being hospitalized just for the fact I haven’t been taking care of myself this past week. On a good note I have been taking care of my cat, Lil Gertie. Having an emotional support animal like my cat has been quite helpful for me.  I think, Lil Gertie has been a life savor for me.

I think I am going to go now and call my therapist. I hope everyone has wonderful summer. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

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Weekly Check-In

Hello, World!!! It’s late on Saturday night. This is the time of year that is the most difficult for me even when I am doing well. Its difficult due to trauma related shit which is the reason I have PTSD. When you add Depression to the mix it just makes things worse.

So more or less Christmas is a shitty time of year for me due to trauma but Christmas is even more difficult this year. I found out late last night (Friday) that one of my cousins died yesterday. She was only 48 years old. She passed away suddenly due to health issues as she slept taking a nap. Her two sons found her and did CPR on her till the paramedics showed up. The difficult thing was that I needed to tell another cousin that my cousin died as well as an uncle. To make matters even more difficult I had to inform a mutual friend of mine on my cousin that my cousin died. Telling three people that someone passed away is not a great way to start off the holiday weekend.

As difficult as yesterday was especially with the holiday weekend at least my Yule or Winter Solstice went well. I spent it with Junior and some of our closest friends. We had fun. We ate lots of food and played some awesome board games.

That’s all have for now. I’m struggling with some PTSD symptoms and need to do some relaxation skills. I hope everyone has a great holiday. Peace out, World.

Happy Summer Solstice!!!

     Happy Summer Solstice!!! We all know what the summer solstice means. It means its the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. Today is also the first full day of my vacation. I will of course take advantage of the first day of summer as well as my first day of vacation.

     As some of you know that the lack of structure for people who struggle with a mental illness is not a good thing. The lack of structure can lead to symptoms acting up. That’s why I have to be vigilant when I am on vacation and don’t have anything really major planned. That’s why today I have to be vigilant because my boyfriend is working today and we usually plan to do things together.

     Since my boyfriend is working today and wont get off till tomorrow morning I plan on hanging out with some good friends. I plan on meeting up with two of my best friends at the Waterfront to eat at Red Robin. I love Red Robin. They have the best hamburgers in the world. My favorite Red Robin hamburger is the Whiskey River Barbeque Burger. Besides  planning on going to Red Robin with two of my best friends, one of them asked me and my other friend if we could go to (Catholic) Mass with her this evening. I might go because I’ve never been to a Catholic Mass. Plus my mom grew up Catholic so I guess it’s a part of my heritage and figure to see what its all about. (Side Note: When my parents got married they decided to not raise me in any particular religion because they both grew up in what they consider strict faiths. My dad grew up Mormon. My parents wanted me and still want me to choose my own religion even after they got divorced.) So if I go to mass, I plan on going to a local park to read after attending Mass. I am enjoying A Tale of Two Cities, immensely.

     Now that I have told you what I plan doing today, I will tell you all something. I am a little frustrated with myself right now. I don’t think I’m reaching as many people with this blog as I had hoped I would. Yes, I will continue to blog but I was kind of hoping that I would have more followers on my blog by now. I know it takes time and that I have only been doing this for about 3 weeks now. I just want to show people out there who are “normal” that those of us who struggle with mental illness can live everyday lives just like them in hopes that it will lessen the stigma of mental illness. I also hope that this blog shows those who do struggle mental illness that their is hope and that recovery is possible. All I want to do is lessen the stigma of mental illness and show those who are struggling that hope and recovery are out there. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when it comes to this blogging thing especially since I am still new to it and trying to get into the groove of it and what people might be interested in reading.

     Now that I have bored you with the things in the blog entry I’m going to end it for now. Have a good Saturday every. Happy Summer Solstice everyone. I hope that you all enjoy the first day of summer and that the rest of your summer is fun.