Tag Archives: Recovery

Depression & Anxiety Suck Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is another Sunday afternoon here in Seattle. Thankfully, it is a Sunday of a three day weekend because tomorrow (Monday) is Presidents Day here in the United States. Not sure why we have a Presidents Day but I’m grateful that I don’t have to work and get paid for doing nothing. I would rather be working tomorrow but I have the day off.

Part of the reason why I want to work because both my depression and anxiety are acting up at the moment. I wish they were not acting up especially at the same time which sucks sh*t.

In fact volunteering at PAWS Cat City this morning helped both the depression and anxiety. I love volunteering and being able to help cats find their furrever home. Today, we only had three cats. One was on hold, one isn’t ready for adoption and the other is adoptable and not on hold. Lets hope the two adoptable cats get adopted today.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful for both the anxiety and depression. He love getting attention no matter if my symptoms are acting up or not but he seeks it out more when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I am grateful that he knows when I need the attention from him when he ask for more attention than he usually wants which he loves.

I do not have anything else to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Can’t Sleep & Slightly Depressed

Posted on by Gertie

Good Early Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after two o’clock in the morning here is in Seattle. I am unable to sleep and I am slightly depressed most likely due to the lack of sleep tonight and last night. The lack of helps play into the increase of depression symptoms which sucks shit.

Billie Dean, my cat has been helping my depression a great deal. He has been by my side all day and night with couple of exceptions when he was eating, drinking water or using the litterbox. Having Billie not leave my side has been quite helpful to my depression

Another thing that has been helpful is doing some art work. In fact the type of art work I have been doing is coloring. As I have been coloring, I have going back and forth listening to a podcast on philosophy and music. Coloring while listening to a philosophy podcast or music has helped my depression decrease just like having my cat Billie by my side.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Three Weeks in a Row of Blogging Everyday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!!! According to WordPress, I have a twenty-one streak of blogging. That means, I’ve been writing everyday for the last three weeks. I say that has been pretty consistent like I have been aiming for.

Blogging more consistently has been has been quite helpful maintaining my self-care. Self care helps me keeps me on track with my mental health recovery. Of course, my cat Billie Dean, like to help me do the occasional blog post. Mainly because Billie wants the attention.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 5: Hook ‘Em with a Quote

Posted on by Gertie

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I remember hearing this quote for the first time in junior high school and never really though much of it back then. When I started my recovery process with multiple mental health diagnosis, this quote hit me like a ton of bricks. It helped me continue with my recovery as well realizing that the future is beautiful. The future is beautiful because you never know what is going to happen or what you will see.

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write in many forms for many reasons. But today, I will be writing about why I write my blog. I originally started my blog to help educate those who don’t struggle with a mental health diagnosis and/or substance use disorders (addiction) that we can live productive lives just like those who don’t struggle with those issues. I also started blogging to give hope to those who are still struggling with mental health symptoms and/or addiction that recovery is possible.

Little did I know that when I started my blog that it would end up helping me with my own recovery and became a form of both self care and self help. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise of blogging is helping me with my recovery; both the ups and the downs.

As you can tell, I write my blog to help others as well as myself. Most importantly, I write my blog in hopes to lessen the stigma by educating those with out mental health or addiction issues that we can be productive members of society.

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is another weekend and it’s Saturday. Saturdays are the day I have chosen to do my weekly check ins with you my reader since Saturdays are technically the last day of the week according to most calendars.

I do not have much to check in about this week. Overall, work went well this week. Art group at work went really well and if felt really productive. Or at least more productive this past Monday than in the recent past. I think doing art group is one of my favorite parts of my job. I love my job and being able to help clients where they are at.

On the friend front, I went and hung out with a good friend of mine yesterday (Friday) evening. We went out to dinner. We of course went to our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin so much that I ended up getting six gift cards for Red Robin for Christmas totaling one hundred fifty dollars. My friends and family know me well when it comes to my favorite restaurant of Red Robin.

As far as family goes is I went to my grandpa’s house today. I did some of my laundry which is nice because I don’t have to pay for it like I do in my apartment building. One of my uncles made some enchilada’s for dinner. Boy was is good. I love spending time with my family. My grandpa also took me to renew my driver license today. We waited nearly three hours which sucked but at least I got to spend time with my grandpa.

Now that I am home for the remainder or the weekend with a couple of exceptions, I am spending some much needed time with my cat Billie Dean. Billie has helped me quite a bit this week when I’ve been home. My PTSD has been acting up and Billie know exactly what to do and he didn’t need any training. When I haven’t been working from home, I’ve been spending time with Billie as well as doing artwork while listening to music very loudly. In fact the artwork I have been doing is coloring. I’ve been coloring to some pretty awesome music. In fact, I’ve listened to MxPx, ACDC, Guns & Roses and Twisted Sister. It’s been one of them weeks where I needed some very loud music.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do, however, want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ready to go to Bed & It’s Not Even 6:00pm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. According my clock on the wall in my living room, it is 5:30pm here in Seattle and I am tired as hell. I am so ready for bed. Hell, I might even go to bed early which means, I most likely will go to bed after I finish writing (and posting) this particular blog post. I’m not sure why I am so tired but I know why I have been so relaxed and calm today especially this afternoon and evening.

I took a mental health day off from work today due to some light burnout. On that note, I have been home all day doing self care acts knowing it will help with my slight burnout. I started out the day by using the calm app to do some mindfulness meditation. I also did a couple other mindfulness meditation practice they have. On top of that I was able to do some check ins with the calm app and see how helpful it was and is to me.

Another thing that helped me get relaxed and calm is my cat Billie Dean. Billie appears to know when I need extra cuddling time to get myself calm. On that note I was able to do some mindfulness meditation with Billie, my cat laying on my lap for two and half hours.

Despite the lack of sleep last night I really think doing mindfulness meditation helped me become more sleepy. That is why I am considering that my bedtime for today will be about six o’clock in the evening here in Seattle.

Since I don’t have much more to say except goodnight and thank you for reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Goodnight and Peace Out World!!!

Rudely Awaken by Fire Alarm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Fucking Morning, World!!! I am fucking angry as hell right now. I was sound asleep and the damn fire alarm went of again. I’m angry because an idiot of a neighbor pulled the fire alarm again because another neighbor was not wearing a mask in a common area of our apartment building. I fucking don’t understand why this neighbor has to pull the fire alarm every fucking time he sees another neighbor who doesn’t wear a mask. It’s fucking bullshit.

The fire department is just as angry as my neighbors and I. The fire department has fined this neighbor so many time it’s not funny. The sad yet good thing is the dude admits to the fire fighters. Sadly, the fire fighters have been here so many time because of this dude that they now have the cops come to “talk” to him. Plus, the fire fighters fear for this neighbors safety because other neighbors want to “beat the shit out of him.” I’m not one of those people but I do feel like screaming at time. Pulling the fire alarm is a misdemeanor crime and the cops won’t arrest him because the county jail won’t accept people with misdemeanor crimes due to Covid-19 which is fucking bullshit.

Okay my rant is over. I don’t anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Never too Early to be Up for Cat Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!! It is six o’clock in morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I don’t have to be up till 9:00 for a 9:30 appointment with my doctor as I don’t start work till twelve noon on Tuesdays. But I am up at six o’clock in my morning because my cat is wanting some cuddle time. Maybe it’s because my PTSD and Anxiety symptoms are high at the moment my depression is at a low grade level at the moment.

As much as I wish I was still asleep, I am grateful for my cuddles with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is famous for his cuddle especially when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I did have some nightmares last night which increased the anxiety and the PTSD but am grateful for the Billie cuddles to start of the day even if it is earlier than normal for my Tuesday work schedule. I love my cat and how he provides me emotional support.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!