Tag Archives: Recovery

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write in many forms for many reasons. But today, I will be writing about why I write my blog. I originally started my blog to help educate those who don’t struggle with a mental health diagnosis and/or substance use disorders (addiction) that we can live productive lives just like those who don’t struggle with those issues. I also started blogging to give hope to those who are still struggling with mental health symptoms and/or addiction that recovery is possible.

Little did I know that when I started my blog that it would end up helping me with my own recovery and became a form of both self care and self help. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise of blogging is helping me with my recovery; both the ups and the downs.

As you can tell, I write my blog to help others as well as myself. Most importantly, I write my blog in hopes to lessen the stigma by educating those with out mental health or addiction issues that we can be productive members of society.

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is another weekend and it’s Saturday. Saturdays are the day I have chosen to do my weekly check ins with you my reader since Saturdays are technically the last day of the week according to most calendars.

I do not have much to check in about this week. Overall, work went well this week. Art group at work went really well and if felt really productive. Or at least more productive this past Monday than in the recent past. I think doing art group is one of my favorite parts of my job. I love my job and being able to help clients where they are at.

On the friend front, I went and hung out with a good friend of mine yesterday (Friday) evening. We went out to dinner. We of course went to our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin so much that I ended up getting six gift cards for Red Robin for Christmas totaling one hundred fifty dollars. My friends and family know me well when it comes to my favorite restaurant of Red Robin.

As far as family goes is I went to my grandpa’s house today. I did some of my laundry which is nice because I don’t have to pay for it like I do in my apartment building. One of my uncles made some enchilada’s for dinner. Boy was is good. I love spending time with my family. My grandpa also took me to renew my driver license today. We waited nearly three hours which sucked but at least I got to spend time with my grandpa.

Now that I am home for the remainder or the weekend with a couple of exceptions, I am spending some much needed time with my cat Billie Dean. Billie has helped me quite a bit this week when I’ve been home. My PTSD has been acting up and Billie know exactly what to do and he didn’t need any training. When I haven’t been working from home, I’ve been spending time with Billie as well as doing artwork while listening to music very loudly. In fact the artwork I have been doing is coloring. I’ve been coloring to some pretty awesome music. In fact, I’ve listened to MxPx, ACDC, Guns & Roses and Twisted Sister. It’s been one of them weeks where I needed some very loud music.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do, however, want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ready to go to Bed & It’s Not Even 6:00pm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. According my clock on the wall in my living room, it is 5:30pm here in Seattle and I am tired as hell. I am so ready for bed. Hell, I might even go to bed early which means, I most likely will go to bed after I finish writing (and posting) this particular blog post. I’m not sure why I am so tired but I know why I have been so relaxed and calm today especially this afternoon and evening.

I took a mental health day off from work today due to some light burnout. On that note, I have been home all day doing self care acts knowing it will help with my slight burnout. I started out the day by using the calm app to do some mindfulness meditation. I also did a couple other mindfulness meditation practice they have. On top of that I was able to do some check ins with the calm app and see how helpful it was and is to me.

Another thing that helped me get relaxed and calm is my cat Billie Dean. Billie appears to know when I need extra cuddling time to get myself calm. On that note I was able to do some mindfulness meditation with Billie, my cat laying on my lap for two and half hours.

Despite the lack of sleep last night I really think doing mindfulness meditation helped me become more sleepy. That is why I am considering that my bedtime for today will be about six o’clock in the evening here in Seattle.

Since I don’t have much more to say except goodnight and thank you for reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Goodnight and Peace Out World!!!

Rudely Awaken by Fire Alarm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Fucking Morning, World!!! I am fucking angry as hell right now. I was sound asleep and the damn fire alarm went of again. I’m angry because an idiot of a neighbor pulled the fire alarm again because another neighbor was not wearing a mask in a common area of our apartment building. I fucking don’t understand why this neighbor has to pull the fire alarm every fucking time he sees another neighbor who doesn’t wear a mask. It’s fucking bullshit.

The fire department is just as angry as my neighbors and I. The fire department has fined this neighbor so many time it’s not funny. The sad yet good thing is the dude admits to the fire fighters. Sadly, the fire fighters have been here so many time because of this dude that they now have the cops come to “talk” to him. Plus, the fire fighters fear for this neighbors safety because other neighbors want to “beat the shit out of him.” I’m not one of those people but I do feel like screaming at time. Pulling the fire alarm is a misdemeanor crime and the cops won’t arrest him because the county jail won’t accept people with misdemeanor crimes due to Covid-19 which is fucking bullshit.

Okay my rant is over. I don’t anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Never too Early to be Up for Cat Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!! It is six o’clock in morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I don’t have to be up till 9:00 for a 9:30 appointment with my doctor as I don’t start work till twelve noon on Tuesdays. But I am up at six o’clock in my morning because my cat is wanting some cuddle time. Maybe it’s because my PTSD and Anxiety symptoms are high at the moment my depression is at a low grade level at the moment.

As much as I wish I was still asleep, I am grateful for my cuddles with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is famous for his cuddle especially when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I did have some nightmares last night which increased the anxiety and the PTSD but am grateful for the Billie cuddles to start of the day even if it is earlier than normal for my Tuesday work schedule. I love my cat and how he provides me emotional support.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early Morning, World!!! Sadly I can not sleep at the moment due to insomnia and PTSD. Having both really sucks shit. Right now I feel like listening to my Childhood Memories Play list of music to help me get relaxed enough to get back to sleep. Having insomnia and PTSD sucks and all I want is sleep.

At least the Childhood Memories Playlist songs are helping along with my cat Billie helping me with his unconditional love. I love my cat so much. I really thing the music and my cat will help me get back to sleep.

I don’t have much more do to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Typical Monday at Work & Art Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s a typical Monday at work for me. The best part of the work week for me is Mondays because I get to do an Art Group with and intern who is getting a degree in art therapy. Granted the Art Group is at the end of the day but it makes Mondays more bearable. I love my job and am grateful that I can co-facilitate the art group with a great art therapist intern. My clients are awesome artist and do their best work listening to music so we have some “music therapy” along with doing art.

I had supervision with my supervisor today. For some reason it appeared awkward to me which is unusual for our supervision. I love my job with a passion and am grateful that I am not micromanaged by my supervisor. She is pretty laid back is a good egg.

Billie was a great coworker today and stayed by my side during most of my shift. His unconditional love and support when I need it is never ending and am grateful he able to pick up on my emotions. I love my cat Billie Dean so much. Plus, he is a great coworker.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

2 Year Anniversary of Gotcha Day of Billie Dean

Posted on by Gertie
Billie Dean sticking his head out of his enclosed bed to say “it’s time for bed.”

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today marks exactly two years since I adopted Billie Dean. I adopted him from the same place I adopted Lil Gertie from and now volunteer at. In fact, I met Billie during one of my volunteer shifts a PAWS Cat City. I fell in love with Billie and adopted him.

Billie is one of the sweetest cats I have met. He is quite the talker. He loves his catnip. He enjoys spending hours in my love and insist sleeping with me when I go to bed. Most importantly he is family. He is my family and I love him and I know he loves me unconditionally.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post except that I love my cat, Billie with all my heart. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sadly, I miss read the time and day of the LGBTQ+ 12 Step Meeting

Posted on by Gertie

Hello and Good Morning!!! I was hoping to go to a twelve step meeting that started at 10:00am Seattle time. Sadly, I thought it was on a Saturday morning when it turns out it is a Sunday morning. I will be be able to attend that meeting due to volunteering during that time. As disappointed as I am I am grateful that I can now get some sleep since I didn’t sleep last night. I can now take a nap.

At least there are other meetings I can attend meeting later to day on Zoom. I will be able to do self care by sleeping, attending twelve step meetings and of course spending time with the love of my life, my cat Billie Dean. Recovery is awesome and looks differently to everyone.

I don’t have much to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Not worry I will be attending a later twelve step once I get some sleep. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!