Anxiety + Insomnia = No Sleep For Me

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep. Having anxiety doesn’t help the fact that I have insomnia and due to both sleep is a no go for me at the moment.

Long story short, my apartment building has a community patio and my apartment is right above it. I live on the second floor and of course the patio is on the first floor. Anyway, the same two neighbors have been constantly loud and noisy for hours on end nearly everyday of the week for two months now. I have complained about it to the apartment management and they can’t or won’t do anything about. I have called the Seattle Police non-emergency line on two occasions and due to the pandemic aren’t dealing with noise complaints at this time. So, it is starting to affect my anxiety big time. It bothers me that my neighbors don’t give a shit and that neither the apartment management nor Seattle police are doing anything about it. On a good note, I have emailed all my complaints so they are dated and time stamped and in three of the five complaints I mentioned it was effecting my physical and mental health as well as my disability. I informed them of this as a precaution to protect my ass. Thankfully, I am not the only neighbor bothered by the loud and noisy neighbors.

Another thing that probably isn’t helping with my insomnia is my part time job working at night. In fact it’s a twelve hour night shift. I like my job for the most part. I just don’t like it being twelve hours at night. I don’t do well with night shifts. Something I have done was apply for two jobs yesterday (Monday, May 18th, 2020) to work at local nonprofits. I also put in an application about a month ago at Costco. I am not holding my breath on any of the jobs especially at this point in time with Covid-19 going on.

One of the things that has been helping with the Covid-19 stay at home order is my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is such a lap cat who loves his belly rubbed. Billie also loves his two front paws massaged. I am beyond grateful for Billie and love him so much. I do miss my last cat Lil Gertie and think of her everyday. I talk to Billie about her. Billie love his cat tree and looking out the window. He appears to be entertained by the crows and squirrels which entertains me. If it wasn’t for Billie I am more than positive that my anxiety would be higher with my loud ass neighbors on the patio.

I don’t have much else to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my post. I hope everyone has a great rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in morning in my corner of the world. That means I am Sleepless in Seattle once again. I am not a big fan of insomnia and it is just anxiety provoking which makes that much more challenging to get to sleep. Anxiety is my friend at the moment because I am anxious about starting my new volunteer job at an animal shelter that I adopted my Lil Gertie from but at least I will feel the love I received from her as I think this is what she would want me to do. I love my Lil Gertie so much and wish she didn’t have to cross the rainbow bridge but am grateful that she was in my life.

Since I haven’t been able to sleep I have been reading up on cats and their behavior since I will be volunteering with cats. I also have been reading up on cats in general. I have been learning a great deal about cats by reading and hope this will help me with my volunteer job and when I eventually do get another cat.

When I haven’t been reading about cat’s I have been listening to music as I did some art work. Actually, the type of art I have been doing is coloring. I am coloring a picture with both cats and dogs in it. The music and art work by coloring is quite helpful for me especially when I am unable to sleep.

I do know have much more to say as I will just repeating the same thing over and over which is something I don’t want to do. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday and the week ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Sunday So Far

Good Afternoon, World!!! Before I tell you how my Sunday as been I would like to tell you something about my blog. As you can tell, I have advertisements on my blog. Every time some clicks on an ad I get a cent or two from each ad however before getting the money from the ad, I have wait till all the money reaches one hundred dollars before I can receive it. It suck that I have to wait to get the money but I hope that you my reader will click on the advertisements to help me earn some extra money.

Okay now I can tell you how my day went. I got off work and got some sleep. Not much sleep but some sleep. A short sleep because I wanted to go to lunch with my friends. Being about to talk about work with my friends is quite helpful when you are eating lunch. I love being with my friends.

I do not have much more to talk about. I just hope you all have a great Sunday. Thank you from the bottom of my heart fro reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! As I stated in a previous post, I am restarting to do my weekly check-ins with you all every Saturday evening. This is help keep you my reader engaged and not bored with my blog. Not only is it my hope to keep you engaged with my blog, it is also my hope for my blog to help me. When I first started my blog I never expected it to be of help for me personally however I quickly realize it was helpful for me.

Well, as many of you know we all celebrated the New Year on Tuesday night. I really didn’t do anything but be in my jammies and watched the New Year come in on the television. I was hoping to bring it in with my cat Lil Gertie but sadly she crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day evening.

Another thing I did this week was finished up my training to become a volunteer at the animal shelter where I adopted Lil Gertie at. My first shift is this coming Tuesday on the 7th of January. It is something I am looking forward to.

Something else I did this week and was happy inform him of my new volunteer gig was see my new therapist. It was only my third session with him but he appears to be cool. He was happy to hear about my new volunteer job. We discussed a great deal He also was interested in my job as well.

Speaking of jobs, I will be going work in the next half an hour. I enjoy my job for the most part. I just do not like the fact that it is at night. Night shifts aren’t the best for someone with sleep issues. Having insomnia sucks and a night shift doesn’t help much.

Speaking of sleep, I slept okay today. My sleep could have been more restful but at least I got sleep. I just don’t like sleeping during the day.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

An Ambien is Starting to Kick In Post

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after six o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. As most of the world slept last night, I was up all night so I can sleep all day today. I will be sleeping all day today due to the fact that I work a twelve and a half hour shift tonight. I like what I do for the most part but do not like the fact that it is a night shift. I am grateful to have a job even though it is extremely part time.

I am hoping to be able to get to sleep soon. Actually, I think I will be able to get to sleep soon because I think the Ambien is finally starting to kick in. I wish I didn’t need Ambien to help me sleep but due insomnia, I do. I highly dislike having insomnia. It sucks shit.

I think I should get going since my sleeping meds are starting to kick in. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday as I sleep the day away. I also hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Workplace Blog

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this, I am at work. I have three and hours left of my shift. I enjoy my job for the most part. I am not a big fan of a twelve and a hour night shift but at least it is in the social service field which is something I enjoy. At this point in time I am looking for another job because working the night shift isn’t exactly the best for me or my mental health because of my sleep cycle being out of wack.

My sleep already is out of wack due to having insomnia. Actually, my psychiatric nurse practitioner things it would a good idea to have a job that is not a night shift. The reason she says this is because of my “treatment resistant insomnia.” I am great she has my back this but she also agrees that work is good for my mental health and recovery.

Something I do at work to pass the time away when there is nothing to for a few hours is art work. Specifically, I color. In fact when the young adults I work with are unable to sleep they like to color with me. They appear to enjoy it.

Well, I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Night Post

Happy Friday, World!!! It is Friday night in my corner of the world. Friday nights I usually stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve hour shift on Saturday night. Working nights reeks havoc on my sleep even if I only do work one night a week and that sucks.

As far as my plans to stay up tonight is the obvious of spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I love spending time with my cat and being able to give her attention as well as play with her when she is more likely to let me do that stuff which at night. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I can not imagine my life with out her.

Besides spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie, I plan on reading the “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. So far I have only read the introduction and chapter one. What I have read so far, I think I am going to like the book as well as learn a great deal. Something I want to do as a white person is to become a better ally for people of color. I will also be reading other books of similar nature. Specifically, about race and how I can be a better ally.

I, of course will be doing other things besides reading tonight and that stuff will be doing some form of art as I listen to a podcast. Not sure what type of podcast I will be listening to but the art I will most likely be doing tonight is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and listening to podcast.

Before I end this post I want to update you on my dads health as well as my health. My dad is now out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and on a regular medical floor. This happened today and am so grateful for his improvement. He wants to go home but has to stay in the hospital a few more days. As far as my health issues of a kidney infection and a urinary tract infection (uti); they seem to be getting better with the help of a very strong antibiotic. An antibiotic that is making me nauseous but thankfully I have an anti-nausea med to help with that.

I do not have anything else to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! I still haven’t been back to bed since the fire alarm went of because someone burnt food. I am tired as hell and most likely will attempt to go back to sleep. My anxiety and PTSD symptoms have been acting up quite severely since the fire alarm went off. They are acting up so badly that it is affecting my ability to calm down enough to be able to sleep. The insomnia isn’t help much either.

The thing that is helping me at the moment is my cat, Lil Gertie. She has a calming effect on me and that is extremely helpful. My cat has been by my side most of the morning after the fire alarm went off. I am grateful she has been near by as it has been quite helpful for me to be able to calm down.

One of the things I have been doing since I was so rudely woke up is coloring. I have been coloring my coloring pages. One of which I have shared with you here on my blog. I am hoping that with my coloring pages that I am currently doing that they will be done by the holidays as I want to be able to give them as gifts to people.

When I started off coloring, I listened to music. I listened to Nirvana, MxPX and Tori Amos. For some reason listening to the above mentioned musicians was and is quite helpful to me. I find their music relaxing.

After listening to music and still coloring I decided to listen to a podcast about philosophy. Coloring while listening to a podcast about philosophy not only helps me focus on the topic but to retain the subject. I of course find the subject of philosophy quite interesting and am grateful to be able to listen to a podcast about it as I color.

I don’t have much else to say in this blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to be able to get some sleep today as well as go see my dad in the hospital. I did talk to him this morning already and seemed to be doing okay. I hope everyone has a great day ahead as well as a relaxing day ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rude Awaking

Good Morning, World!!! I was almost fully asleep when the fire alarm in my apartment building went off once again. I thought it was another false alarm due it malfunctioning again but this time it was due to someone burning food in the wee hours of the morning. The person who set off the building fire alarm due to burnt food has done this multiple times and never opens his windows to let out the smoke. You would think he would learn especially since he is in a corner apartment. I am annoyed with the fact that it went off and woke up the entire building because someone couldn’t keep an eye on their food cooking.

When the fire alarm went off it triggered some anxiety as well as PTSD symptoms. I was in two fires when I was a kid so fire alarms trigger the hell out of me. When the fire alarm went off I quickly got my cat, Lil Gertie, and put her in her carrier and we exited the building. Sadly, many people didn’t exit because they thought it was another malfunction and burnt food but the folks who did evacuate were and are annoyed as hell like I am.

Being highly annoyed, full of anxiety and extremely triggered due to the fire alarm and in my apartment now, I have my music playing. I have my music playing to help me calm the fuck down. The fire alarm going is not conducive to having PTSD or Insomnia especially since I was finally almost asleep. Anyway, having my music on is helping.

Another thing that is helping is that my cat, Lil Gertie, is laying next to me in my chair. She is very calming and surprisingly chill after the fire alarm went off. Yes, she does get startled by the fire alarm and doesn’t fight me getting into her carrier. She appears to calm down once in the carrier because I think she knows she is going to be safe. I love my cat and how quickly she can chill out after the fire alarm goes off.

After I finish this blog post, I plan on continuing to listen to music as I do art work. Specifically, I plan on coloring as it appears to be a type of mindfulness for me. Coloring is very calming for me and am grateful to have it as a skill.

I think I am going to get going now. I plan on listening to music as I color and hopefully am able to get to sleep. I am tired as hell. Having the fire alarm go off when one is almost asleep is a rude awaking and just make one even more tired. But on that note, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety & Fear Over My Dad

Good Evening, World!!! I am not going to work tonight because my dad is in the hospital. Sadly, he was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), early this morning because he has fluid on the lungs and maybe around the heart. Even though the emergency surgery went well, the fluid around the lungs is never a good thing especially with my dads history of pneumonia. It was five years ago at this time of year where he was give a very slim chance of living due to his pneumonia but thankfully he is a live. I just wish his health was better at the moment. At least he is not on life support and wanting to go home.

Even though I am not sitting at the hospital with my dad at the moment, I just wanted to make sure that if health were to take the turn for the worst that I am able to have the availability to get to the hospital. That is part of the reason why I chose to get someone to cover my shift at work tonight. I am grateful that I was able to have a colleague cover my shift.

Due to my dad’s health and him being in the ICU my anxiety is up and my fear of him being put a ventilator is extremely high at the moment. The fear and anxiety I am having, my cat, Lil Gertie, is picking up on. When I have been home she as been by my side or on my chest to comfort me.  Being comforted by my cat has been a great help to me and has lessened my anxiety and fear.

Not only is my cat, Lil Gertie, comforting me but I am having friends checking in on me. Having friends checking in on me is always a good thing. In fact a friend of mine even brought me lunch when I was at the hospital visiting my dad. It is great that I have friends that check up on me.

My family has be pulling together in regards to my dad’s health. My grandpa and two uncles who are my dad’s dad and two brothers have been taking turns at the hospital. My grandpa and two uncles have been a great support. They are just as worried about my dad as I am. Having family support and the support of my friends has been great for me.

I wish I was able to get some sleep today but sadly I have not been able to nap. I didn’t sleep well last night due to insomnia and I think I have been unable to nap today due to my dad’s health and him being in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at the hospital. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight as I need some sleep. Sleep is crucial to one health and I don’t want to get sick especially since my dad is ill.

I do not much more to say. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!