Never Forget; Remembering 9/11

Many people across The United States and the world remember where they were when they heard the news of the terrorist attacks. It is something that we will remember for the rest of our lives. Many people like myself sat with loved ones and close friends glued the television for hours, wondering who would hate us so much to kill thousands of innocent people.

Fourteen years later I can’t help but think about those lives lost and the grieving families. I just hope those grieving families can feel the love from those across America and around the world.

As I end this post please take a moment of silence to remember all those who lost their lives.

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day Four: A Story In A Single Image

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As a self-proclaimed “city girl” I can’t help but think how lucky I am to live in a city that has vast variety of things to do within the city and outside the city. If you happen to be a “city person” who loves nature like me, it is easy to leave the city for a day or a week to go hiking or camping during the summer or skiing or snowboarding in the winter and only an hour drive away. If you happen to not like nature then you can stay in the city and attend a variety of events such as Emerald City Comic-Con, Bumbershoot, sporting event, Broadway shows at the Paramount Theater, concerts and many museums. I love living in Seattle because I am able to do city life stuff and able to take a short drive out of town if I need to get away.

Another benefit to living in any major city is the many opportunities people have in regards to employment, services (i.e. health care, hospitals, homeless shelters, mental health services, food banks) education and volunteer experiences. For me an important part of living in a major city is being able to seek mental health services. Being able get the proper care for my mental illness is key to my recovery. I am not saying living in a rural community is a negative thing it is just not for me especially when it comes to my recovery.

In regards to my recovery, I am beyond grateful that I live in Seattle. As some of my regular readers may know I once had the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Having such a difficult diagnosis like Borderline, living is Seattle is the hub for research on people who live with it or who once lived with it. It is the hub because Marsha Linehan is the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and created it here in Seattle at the University of Washington. If it wasn’t  for being in an intensive two year outpatient DBT program I wouldn’t be in recovery and most likely not working much less blogging. Most importantly I wouldn’t be a Recovered Borderline. Recovered Borderline is something I call myself because I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

For me the benefits of living in the city out weigh the negatives of living in one. Most importantly living in the city gives me the opportunities that I wouldn’t necessarily get living in the suburbs or rural areas. Opportunities that I am forever grateful for.

Thank you for reading. When I saw the choices of images I had to choose from I chose the one at the beginning of this post because of the opportunities I have had. Again thank for reading. I know it is not very inspirational but am grateful that I was able to share with you why I was inspired by the image. Just like blogging 101 I am enjoying writing 101. Have a great day.

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day Three: One-Word Inspiration

Today’s assignment for Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration is to get inspired by a word and then write about. We were give a list of six words to choose from which are: Treasure, Regret, Home, Love, Uncertainty and Secret. This list was a tough one to choose from because they all inspired me to write. I am choosing to write about regret.

There is a quote saying, “When I look back on life, I rather regret the things I do than the things I didn’t do.”  When, I first heard this quote, it hit close to home. It hit close to home because there has been a great deal of things, I regret not doing. Unfortunately, most of the things I regret not doing is because my mental illness got in way. I am not blaming my mental health diagnosis; I’m just stating that the symptoms of my mental illness is what played a major role in my decision to not to do something. It saddens me that my mental illness caused me to miss out on a lot of various things that life has to bring.

I do have to say that I have regretted doing some things in my life. Unfortunately, those things I regret doing are related to my struggling with having a mental illness. It is because of my behaviors related to a mental illness that I lost a great deal of friends. Some of those friends were understanding and in my corner till they couldn’t handle my mental health symptoms and behaviors anymore. To a degree I understand but wish mental illness was not so taboo. My mental illness also got in the way from me completing any college degree including an A.A. degree I think not getting a least my A.A degree is one of the things I regret the most. Not getting any type of college degree is one of the things I am learning to accept because I had to come to terms with having a mental illness and needed to work o my recovery. I also know that it is never too late to go back to school to get an education. Yes, my mental illness caused a lot of pain and regret but that is why I have chosen to be in recovery.

Now that I am in recovery I am able to make clearer decisions and a high percentage of the time I am happy with the decisions I have made. When making a decision in regards to doing something, I tend to do it because, I don’t want to miss out on the experience and I know I wont regret not doing it later on in life. I will use my job as an example. It is not my desired position but I know it is a stepping stone to getting my desired position. I would have regretted not applying for the job if I didn’t apply for it so I applied for the job and got it. Now I’ve been in my current position for a year and am happy that I applied for it. I’ve learned from my life experience that participating in life events and taking healthy risk like applying for jobs and other such activities you are not going to regret it or least a good portion of the time.

My life experience is why I try to live by the quote stated in the second paragraph of this post. I just hope I didn’t bore you all with being inspired by the word “regret.” Yes, we will regret things in life but we can learn from those regrets. Have an awesome day. Peace out!!

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day Two: Write A List

Today’s assignment for Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration is to write a list. The three list of “topics” to choose from are as follows: Things I Like; Things I’ve Learned; and Things I Wish. The list I choose to make a list about is Things I’ve Learned.

THINGS I’VE LEARNED:

  1. The only person I have control over is myself.
  2. Don’t take life too seriously and it’s okay to laugh at ourselves.
  3. Not everyone is going to like me.
  4. Not everyone is going to understand or want to understand what it is like to live with a mental illness.
  5. Recovery is difficult but well worth it (and a lot more fun).
  6. Everyone’s recovery looks different.
  7. No matter how annoying it is to do my DBT skills at times they help a great deal and don’t make the situation worse.
  8. When life gives you lemons make lemonade then throw the peals.
  9. Take time for myself.
  10. Have fun!!!
  11. Spend time with the people you care about. You don’t know when their time (or yours) will be up.
  12. Don’t judge others. You don’t know what they may be going though.
  13. Read as much as you can.
  14. Know when to walk away
  15. Learn as much as I can, you never know when you will need the information you learn.. It’s fun to learn things even if it just a random thing.
  16. You can learn something from everybody.

I can go and on with this particular list. I love to learn. All the stuff in the above list, I learned from life itself and not books. Book learning isn’t always what it is cracked up to be.

Thank you for reading. Hope you have learned something about me with this list. I hope I didn’t bore you all with my list. Have a good day. Peace Out!!!

Daily Prompt: First

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “First!.” Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.

Since today is my one year anniversary at my current employer, I thought I would do this particular daily prompt about my first day on the job. I remember my first day at my current job like it was only yesterday. My first day at my current job included two orientations. Yes, two. My first orientation was at the main office of the agency I work for. That was the Human Resource (HR) orientation where we were told about the mission and vision statements as well as Union information. We also went over the polies and procedures and got our picture taken for our badge. (SIDE NOTE: I really don’t like having my picture taken but was able to deal with it.)

After my Human Resource (HR) orientation, I went to my job site. There I had my on the job training. I met some of my co-workers that I would be working with on the everyday basis as well as meeting a handful of residents (clients). I was nervous as hell for this particular part of my day. I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in with my co-workers. Granted, I am still trying to fit but at this point in time it is because of the combination of a lot of new staff and my lack of self confidence. For the most part the clients like me. I have two out of forty-one clients that don’t like me at the moment and I am okay with that. I am also okay with the fact that I am not going to be liked by all my co-workers but it is nice to be liked.  Anyway I have gotten off track. My supervisor at that time basically told me what my job duties were and what was expected of me. It wasn’t till my second week on the job where I was in the full swing of thing and the daily functions on what my job entailed.

As I mention in the last paragraph about my co-workers. Most of them do enjoy working with me. Most of us do try to hang out once to twice a month. It is always nice to get included on outside activities with my co-workers. I lack self-confidence and am working on it.

Over the last year I have made my job as a Consumer Aide into my job. My current boss is thrilled with the fact that I have made my job it into my own. As time continues, I hope that I can set the Consumer Aide position to a higher standard. I say this because once I get my annual review (in the next week or two), I will be applying for jobs as peer support specialist within the agency I work for as well as peer jobs at other mental health agencies.

With all that being said I am beyond grateful that I have the job I do. I love my job more today, year later, than I did on that very first day. In fact I love it more and more each day.

Now that I have told you about my first day at my current job, I am going to end this post. I do have to get to the job I love with all my heart. Have a good day at work everyone and peace out!!

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day One: I Write Because……

I write because of the stigma that goes with having a mental illness and desire to educate those who don’t have one that maybe my words can lessen the stigma. I write because if I share my story of recovery then maybe I can show those who struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible and that there is hope. I write to speak up for those who cant find their voice.

Writing my story to help educate those who don’t have a mental illness as well as to give hope to those who do struggle with a mental illness that recovery is possible because words matter. Words matter more than people realize. The old saying: “Stick and stones may break my bones but word will never hurt” is bullshit. Words can hurt like hell just like words can lift a person up. It is with my words that I write my story. Words I didn’t have a few years ago. The words I write, I hope to lift others up with them.

Having a way with words is not my forte but I love to write. A love to write is why I am willing to share my story. A story I hope can help others as well as educate. Giving hope to those who need it, is why I am not afraid to share my story. Educating those who don’t struggle with a mental illness is why I not only share my story but advocate for those who struggle with a mental illness. Thanks for reading on why I write. Peace Out!!

Weekly Goals

Happy Labor Day!!!! As most of the United States has today off due to it being a national holiday, I work today. Unfortunately, I don’t get holiday pay which surprises me since I am union. As much as I wish I got holiday pay for my current job, I don’t mind because I love my job.

Well, this particular post isn’t about not getting holiday pay from my current employer, it is about my weekly goals. Like I do every week I am going to share with you on how I did with last weeks goals first.

1)  Read Speaker of the Dead by Orson Scott Card. Yes, I did read this week. It was only a hand full of pages but I read.

2)  Work on jigsaw puzzle. I spent about an hour working on the puzzle. I love the fact that Junior helped me out with it. He loves to do puzzles as well.

3)  Color. Yes, I spent time coloring. This week I colored with some neighbors. Not only did I color with some neighbors in my apartment building, when I was at Junior’s place he colored along with me.

4)  Clean my apartment. Yup, I cleaned my apartment. Junior helped. Well, he cleaned the kitchen.

5)  Work on a self-help workbook; The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, PhD., Jeffery C. Wood, PSY.D., and Jeffrey Brantley, MD. I worked on it this week. I didn’t complete the chapter but I worked on it. That’s all it counts is that I worked on it.

6)  See my therapist on Wednesday. I saw my therapist on Wednesday. It was a tough session. We discussed about doing trauma work again. It’s something that I am highly considering on doing again. I know it won’t be easy process but I know I can handle it.

As you can tell I accomplished my goals last week even though I didn’t do as much as I had hoped. Now it is on to this weeks goals:

1)  Read Speaker of the Dead by Orson Scott Card.  This will be a weekly goal till I am done with the book.

2)  Work on jigsaw puzzle. I love doing jigsaw puzzles. I love seeing the progression as it gets put together. I also like the feeling of accomplishment when it is done. Plus, I love being able to spend time with Junior. It is something we do together a lot of the time.

3)  Color. Coloring is something that helps me relax and distress.

4)  Start Writing 101 Finding Your Inspiration. Today, I start one of the many courses WordPress has to offer. In fact it is the Writing 101 Finding Your Inspiration course. The course starts today and ends Friday, October 2, 2015. So, in reality this is going to be one of my weekly goals for the next week.

5)  Work on a self-help workbook; The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, PhD., Jeffery C. Wood, PSY.D., and Jeffrey Brantley, MD. I am hoping that I will finish chapter 2 this week.

I don’t have much else to say in regards to this weeks goals. I have to head off to work now but before I go I would like to mention that this is part of a weekly blogging event that is quite helpful. I encourage to go check it out over at: http://greenembe.rs/2015/09/07/building-rome-week-36-for-2015/. Happy Labor Day everyone and peace out!!!!

Improving Blogging Skills (again)

Good evening! I’m at it again. I am going to be doing a couple of courses at Blogging U. that WordPress does. I will be doing a four week course, Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration starting tomorrow. I will also be doing the two week course; Blogging 201 starting on September 14th. I enjoyed doing Blogging 101 so much in July that I decided to do both Writing 101 and Blogging 201. I know it sounds ambitious of me doing two courses at the same time but I am determined to do so.

I love blogging a great deal. It gives me something to do when I don’t have anything to do. Having something concrete to do everyday gives me a sense of accomplishment. A sense of accomplishment is something that everyone looks for but if you struggle with a mental illness like I do, it is a major deal when it happens.

Now that I bored you some, I’m going to end this post for now. Have a great evening everyone and peace out.

Mental Illness Basics

Happy Friday!! I am happy to announce that today is my first blogging feature. It is hope that when I do my blogging feature every Friday, that I not only educate people without a mental illness to lessen the stigma that goes along with having one but hopefully to gain a bigger blog following. My primary goal is to educate people on mental illness. The stigma needs to stop which is why I am doing an “educational” piece every Friday.

Now that I have told you about my blogging feature; lets get going. Today’s blogging feature is about mental illness basics. I got the following information from http://www.webmd.com/. Here is that information:

Mental illness is any disease or condition that abnormally influences the way a person thinks, feels, behaves, or relates to others and to his or her surroundings. Although the symptoms of mental illness can range from mild to severe and are different depending on the type of mental illness, a person with an untreated mental illness often has difficulty coping with life’s daily routines and demands.

What Causes Mental Illness?

The exact cause of most mental illnesses is not known. It is, though, becoming clear through research that many of these conditions are caused by a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors — not personal weakness or a character defect — and recovery from a mental illness is not simply a matter of will and self-discipline.

  • Heredity (genetics): Many mental illnesses run in families, suggesting they may be passed on from parents to children through genes. Genes contain instructions for the function of each cell in the body and are responsible for how we look, act, think, etc. However, just because your mother or father may have or had a mental illness doesn’t mean you will have one. Hereditary just means that you are more likely to get the condition than if you didn’t have an affected family member. Experts believe that many mental conditions are linked to problems in multiple genes — not just one, as with many diseases — which is why a person inherits a susceptibility to a mental disorder but doesn’t always develop the condition. The disorder itself occurs from the interaction of these genes and other factors — such as psychological trauma and environmental stressors — which can influence, or trigger, the illness in a person who has inherited a susceptibility to it.
  • Biology: Some mental illnesses have been linked to an abnormal functioning of brain circuits that connect different brain regions that control thinking, mood, and behavior. Nerve cells within those brain circuits pass information along from one cell to the next through brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Scientists think that by altering the activity of certain neurotransmitters (through medicines, psychotherapy, brain stimulation, or other treatments), those faulty brain circuits may work more efficiently, thereby controlling symptoms. In addition, defects in or injury to certain areas of the brain also have been linked to some mental conditions. Also, recent studies show inflammation may have a role in the development of mental illness.
  • Psychological trauma: Some mental illnesses may be triggered by psychological trauma suffered as a child or teenager, such as
    • Severe emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
    • A significant early loss, such as the loss of a parent
    • Neglect
  • Environmental stressors: Certain stressors — such as a death or divorce, a dysfunctional family life, changing jobs or schools, and substance abuse — can trigger a disorder in a person who may be at risk for developing a mental illness. This effect is not the same as and goes beyond the grief and other normal emotional responses such events cause.

Can Mental Illness Be Prevented?

Unfortunately, most mental illnesses are caused by a combination of factors and cannot be prevented.

How Common Is Mental Illness?

Mental illnesses are very common. In fact, they are more common than cancer, diabetes, or heart disease. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 25% of American adults (those ages 18 and older) and about 13% of American children (those ages 8 to 15) are diagnosed with a mental disorder during a given year.

Major depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia are among the U.S.’s top 10 leading causes of disability.

Mental illness does not discriminate. It can affect people of any age, income or educational level, and cultural background. Although mental illness affects both males and females, certain conditions — such as eating disorders or depression — tend to occur more often in females, and other disorders — such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) — more commonly occur in male children.

How Is Mental Illness Treated?

A mental illness, like many chronic illnesses, requires ongoing treatment to control symptoms. Fortunately, much progress has been made in the last two decades in treating mental illnesses. As a result, many mental conditions can be effectively treated with one or a combination of the following therapies:

  • Medication
  • Psychotherapy, such as individual or group therapy
  • Day treatment or partial hospital treatment
  • Specific therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and behavior modification

Other treatments available include:

  • Alternative therapies, such as water therapy, massage, and biofeedback
  • Creative therapies, such as art therapy, music therapy, or play therapy
  • Hypnotherapy
  • Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
  • Vagus nerve stimulation (VNS)
  • Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS)

What Is the Outlook for People With Mental Illness?

When diagnosed early and treated properly, many people fully recover from their mental illness or are able to successfully control their symptoms. Although some people become disabled because of a chronic or severe mental illness, many others are able to live full and productive lives. In fact, as many as eight in 10 people suffering from a mental illness can effectively return to their normal activities if they receive appropriate treatment.

I am grateful for the information I used from http://www.webmd.com/. I hope that the information I shared was hopeful. We need to start educating ourselves as well as others about mental illness. Then that way ignorance and naivety can not play a role in the stigmatizing of people with mental illness. For those of us who struggle with a mental illness will no longer tolerate the stigma with having a mental illness.

Now that I have completed my first blogging feature, I am going to end this post. It is an extremely long post and hope that I have “educated” people some. Have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!! Peace Out!!!

Not Doing A Daily Prompt Today

I know I said I would do a daily prompt every Tuesday but life gets in the way sometimes. I know I don’t owe anyone any explanations but today was just one of those days that I needed to focus on myself when I got off work. My PTSD is acting up. Having Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder sucks. I just needed to take a few hours to myself. I hope all of you understand. I have to know what my limitations are and today was one of them.

Have a good evening everyone. Hope that you all have a peaceful evening and night. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace out!!