All I Can Say Is That It’s Monday

Good Evening, World!!! The title of this post says it all. Today, I had a “team meeting” with my now old case manager and Gilbert, who is now my old therapist and met with my new clinician. Not sure what to think of my new clinician but he appears to be a little timid. I just hope he is as direct with me as my case manager and Gilbert as directness is quite helpful for me.

Something else I did was go to Art Group. I love art. We were to paint one big flower to cover the page. I didn’t do that as I wanted to create a field of flowers. It didn’t come out as planned but I like it because I made a couple of focal points in my painting.

When I came home I read a chapter in my book. I am really enjoying my book and grateful that I now have the concentration to now focus on reading. Once, I am done blogging I think I am going to go back to reading. Right now my favorite genre is Fantasy (as well as Science Fiction) and proud of being considered a “geek” due to the genre.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

An Unexpected Hiatus

Image result for Depression

Good Evening, World!!! I haven’t blogged in a while due to the fact that I was hospitalized for psych reasons. Well, mainly due to depression. As stated in my last post depression was (and is) biting me in the ass. Biting me in the ass so bad that hospitalization was the was the only way to keep myself safe.

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While in the hospital, the group I enjoyed most was music therapy. The genre that was brought up the most in music group were the eighties. Yes, the eighties. It appeared that no matter the age or generation of the individual, everyone agreed on eighties music. It is always nice when folks can agree on something as simple and as common as music.

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When I wasn’t attending groups, I was reading. Reading, Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I finally have enough consternation to read. I’ve only been attempting to read this particular book for months now and realize it was my depression getting in the way. It truly is an awesome book. A book worth reading and getting into. It is a book that is hard to put down.

Speaking of reading I want to end this post and get back to reading.  I hope everyone has a great rest of their Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression Biting Me in the Ass

Represent a dog biting a man butt.

Good Morning, World!!! My depression is biting me in the fucking ass at the moment. Biting me in the ass severe enough that I am isolating myself from people. People that want to help but right now I am needing my space. Space from the world.

Spending time away from other people has me thinking about blogging. I am thinking about re-doing courses I have done and enjoyed doing that WordPress puts on for free. I am not sure which course I am going to re-do at the moment or if I am going to do multiple at the same time. I just know that when I do a course I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish an assignment and the course.

Something else that gives me a sense of accomplishment is reading. There is something rewarding when get to the next chapter or find something new out about a character or the plot. Right now I am reading the Liveships Traders Trilogy by Robin Hobb. I am really getting into it as well as the characters.

When it comes to reading I prefer book series as it keeps me more interested in reading especially when I was a child and teenager. I don’t mind stand alone books, I just prefer book series. The characters tend to grow on me and I don’t really like saying goodbye which is why I prefer book series over stand alone books.

Thank you very much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Not A So Good Night

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not having the best of nights. Nightmares are not my idea of a fun way to wake up any time. Dealing with trauma is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with especially the after effects of the initial trauma. Dealing with trauma is something a person will deal with the rest of their lives.

For me right now, dealing with my PTSD symptoms, I’ve been reading. Reading a great deal. Specifically, I am reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I think if it wasn’t for reading I would be stuck in my head dealing with the undesired events of my past.

As much as reading helps I really need to have a way to process. That’s where blogging comes in. So thank you for allowing me to process even though its so vague.

I think I’m going to go and read. Thank you for reading my blog in the middle of the night. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

11 O’clock New Turned Off & Back To Reading

Hello, World!!! I was watching the eleven o’clock news and realized I needed to turn it off. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about President Trump and how much of a jerk he is. I don’t understand why he thinks everything is fake news. Granted the news can hold some things back or misinform however if all news sources but one are “fake” then something is not right with President Trump. I have a few friends who call Trump, President Cheetohead and I have to agree I can Mr. Trump that on occasion.

If it wasn’t for all the negative news about Trump I wouldn’t have turned of the news as I’m getting tired of his derogatory comments. I turned off the news and started reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying this book. It appears that I’m going to be reading the next book in the trilogy which is called Mad Ship. I am so grateful that when the new becomes triggering that I can turn it off and do something else like reading.

Thank you for reading. Its greatly appreciated. Have a good night and I hope you sleep well. Peace out, World!!!

Humor To End The Night

Hello, World!!! It’s the middle of the night in my neck of the woods. Today has been quite relaxing and peaceful for both Junior and I. Junior and I had a good day.

Junior and I both read the books we are reading. If you have been reading my blog on the regular basis you know I’ve been reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am loving the book to pieces as Junior is enjoying the book he is reading. He is reading Enders Game by Orson Scott Card again. It’s his favorite book.

Junior and I have had several intimate moments today. Yes that means we had sex. Its nice to finally be able to have intimate moments with Junior. It shows that the symptoms of my mental health challenges are improving.

Junior and I ended the night with humor. We watched Saturday Night Live (SNL) and laughed our asses off. Its always nice to end the night with humor. Now we are going to go to bed. Have a wonderful nights sleep!!! Good night, World!!!

A Lot on My Mind

Good Moring (again), World!!! I have a lot on my mind. Some of it has to do with blogging, while some of it has to do with other aspects of my life. The two kind of go hand and hand as my blog has a lot to do with me writing about my struggles and triumphs of my life.

I’ve been thinking on how I can get more people reading and/or following my blog. Some of it means that I have to put more effort into reading the post of the blogs I follow. If that means scheduling a time do so then I am more than willing to do so. The reason for me to start reading the blogs I follow is to like post and commenting on them. I have found that if I comment and/or like post I tend to get more traffic even if I don’t post on my blog that day. Another way is to get more traffic on my blog is tags. I’ve notice quite frequently that if I use tags I normally don’t use I tend to get more traffic. Tags appear to help a great deal. I know that is how I started following many of the blogs I currently follow. I also realized a long time ago is that if I post a picture on my blog post I get more traffic. That’s why I make every effort to read post without pictures. Not everyone has the luxury to post pictures for whatever reason. Another way that I’m trying to increase my traffic is to do free courses WordPress has to offer. Plus having a guest blogger will be helpful as well as me having a schedule on when I blog. I have found that if I blog on a regular basis folks tend to keep their interest more.

My mind is also reeling because of mental health symptoms. Specifically PTSD symptoms. Having flashbacks and body memories are not my idea of fun. Having both of these symptoms at the same time makes it feel like the trauma is happening all over again.

Something that helps me with the symptoms of PTSD is reading. I love to read especially book series as I hate to say good bye to characters. Yes, I know the characters are fictional but you can help but they become part of your life even for a short while. The book I am reading is by Robbin Hobb and is the first of a trilogy; Ship of Magic. I highly recommend it. The picture bellow is a picture of it as well as stuffed elephant a friend made me:

IMG_0244Thank you for reading this post. A post full of woes. Its much appreciated. Have a wonderful day. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Wide Awake

Good Morning, World!!! I should really try to get back to sleep however I am not really sure if I will be able to do so. The reason why I say this is because I fell asleep early and now a I am wide awake.

Since, I’m wide awake I’ve been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. A book that I am surprised to be liking due to the fact it took the first two chapters to finally get into. If you like the genres of Sci Fi and Fantasy you would like this book. I hope to be doing a book review at the end of the book. It’s the first book of the Liveships Trader trilogy.

I love reading book series. I love series due to the fact I end up really connecting with the characters. Connecting enough to where I don’t want the story to end. In fact I’ve had folks tell me I should read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. People of suggested this series because it has a total of fourteen books. I though about reading it however I think it might be a wee bit long for me. It’s something to think about. If I do start to read it, I know I wouldn’t be bored for a while.

I should get going to I can get back to reading. Thank you for reading my blog. I plan on writing my next poem for my next assignment for the course I am taking with WordPress later on today. I hope everyone enjoys their Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling in Seattle

Good Evening, World!!! I am struggling at the moment. I’m struggling with self harm urges. I WILL NOT ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM!!! (I AM NOT SUICIDAL!!!) I am struggling because of my Depression and PTSD symptoms. Symptoms I talked to Gilbert about in my session with him today. I’m starting to trust him which is a major deal since he identifies as male. I usually have trouble trusting men especially in the therapeutic relationship.

Gilbert and myself came up with a safety plan. One of the items on the safety plan is blogging. Blogging is quite helpful for me. It helps me get out of my own head.

Gets me out of my head enough to focus on art work. I’m going be focusing on coloring today since I got a new coloring book today. I also have colored pencils I haven’t used yet due to waiting for this coloring book.

Coloring helps me focus to where I will be able to read. I’ll most likely  be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I’m really loving the book. If you are a Sci Fi and/or Fantasy genre fan I highly recommend it.

Now that I’ve told you my safety plan, I’m going to go and eat. I want to reassure you that; I’M NOT SUICIDAL & WON’T ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM. I hope everyone has a good evening and good week. Peace Out, World.