Friday Evening Blues

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am feeling a little blue. Actually, I am feeling sad and depressed. I am missing my grandma. I wish she was here so I can talk to her but she is not.

I did do some baking. Baking helped me a great deal. I was able to give away some of the things I baked to some friends. Friends who mostly live in my building and rarely get freshly baked goods due to their finances or lack of friends and/or family in their life or their disability. I try to do something nice for the friends I have that live in my building due to the fact many don’t have much of a support system.

I will be spending time with my family on Sunday and I am looking forward to it. I am looking forward to it as it will give me a chance to get out of my apartment building. I have been somewhat isolating myself and not really going out into the community like I should. Spending time with neighbors have been helpful but spending time will be great.

I just don’t have that much to say right now. Maybe it is because I am really missing my grandma at the moment. My cat, Lil Gertie, has been helping me a great deal today. She has pretty much been by my side much of the day when I wasn’t in the kitchen or at a neighbors place.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Finding Ways To Get Out of This Slump

Good Morning, World!!! For some unknown reason I am struggling this morning. I had a good night of sleep and have had breakfast. Usually a good nights sleep with a good meal helps with the better moods yet that doesn’t seem to be the case at the moment.

I am not sure what I am going to do to combat the struggles I am dealing with at the moment. I think I am going to spend time with Lil Gertie, my cat, because she is able to keep me grounded a good portion of the time.

I think after I am done blogging, I will email my therapist and let him know that I am struggling for some unknown reason. I think he would be appreciative that I am letting him know that I am having a rough moment.

I think after emailing my therapist about this slump that I am in, i am going to do some baking. I think I’ll back some brownies and a cake. Baking will give me something to do and most importantly, I’ll be able to share it with other people. To me being able to give things away especially stuff I have made gives me a sense of joy.

I need to get going. I think emailing my therapist would be the most helpful to me in the moment. Then on to the baking. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Labor Day Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! Today is a national holiday here in the United States called Labor Day so to everyone in the U.S, Happy Labor Day. It is a long weekend for many Americans due to it being Labor Day and we have Unions to thank for Labor Day here in the U.S.

As I speak of Labor Day, I can’t help but think about me being unemployed at the moment and looking for a new job. I have a job interview tomorrow. The interview is for a shelter counselor position with homeless young adults. The job is only twelve hours a week but I am okay with that. I also have a potential interview for an peer position later this week.

I don’t have much planned today. I will be spending some of the day with my dad and uncles. We are going out to lunch later. It is nice to spend time with family. We are most likely going to a local mom and pop restaurant but I am not a hundred percent sure yet.

I am still dealing with a huge wave of grief over my grandma passing this past Valentines Day. It’s hard to believe that it has been almost seven months since her death. I have been talking with my therapist a great deal about my grief regarding my grandma.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Blah & Other Randomness

Good Evening, World!! Right now I am feeling a little blah which is a sign of my depression acting up a little bit. So, I went over my grandpa’s place and had dinner which was quite helpful for me. We had breakfast for dinner which was yummy. We had biscuits and gravy for dinner.

Now that I am home, I am spending time with Lil Gertie, my cat, who seems to be extra cuddly at the moment. She is also purring up a storm. Poor little thing has coughed up two fur balls in the last two days. So I am going to take her to the vet if it happens again.

My asthma has been acting up quite a bit lately due to the wildfires around the state. Yes, Seattle is getting plenty of the smoke from the wild fires. It sucks for folks like me who have breathing problems such as asthma. The air quality right now sucks shit for Seattle. Hell, it would even suck shit for Los Angeles. As much as I don’t want it to rain because I am not a big fan of rain, I want it to rain so it can help with the wild fires and clean the air to have better air quality.

I don’t have much to say as I am tired and hopefully will be able to sleep tonight. Sleep didn’t come very well to many people in my building last night but thankfully the problem person is getting the help that they desperately need.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and Sunday due to my volunteer jobs so at least I have something to keep me busy as I start getting excited about the peer conference I am attending next week.

I should get going. I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

A Very Interesting Sleepover

Good Morning, World!!! It sure has been an interesting night in my apartment building. Last night started out very interesting when a neighbor who appeared to be in a mental health crisis started pulling the fire alarm pull stations setting off the building fire alarm on multiple occasions. As time went on a handful of my neighbors and I decided that we would just have a sleepover and my apartment was the chosen apartment. The sleepover included both humans and pets. Both dogs and cats. If fact all the pets are considered emotional support animals. Anyway, the neighbor that decided to pull the fire alarm pull stations did so for about two and a half hours before the police decided to put them on a seventy two hour hold.

After he was finally stopped my neighbors and their animals still stayed over night in my apartment. We had a night full of laughter. Yes, we did get some sleep and all the humans are now awake at six thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. One of my neighbors fixing breakfast. Apparently we are having biscuits and gravy for breakfast. So, I am looking forward to breakfast.

After everyone gets fed my neighbors will go back to their respective apartments. As nice as it was to have people stay the night, I am more than ready to have my own space back and I am sure Lil Gertie, my cat, feels the same way especially since she is not a big cat or dog fan. She did quite well dealing with the other animals last night. She tolerated the situation and I am thrilled she was able to do so.

As everyone leaves I will get ready and go to see my therapist. I can’t wait to see my therapist to explain to him the events of last night.

I don’t have much else to say as I was to spend time with my neighbors. Have a good Friday. Peace, Out, World!!!

Birthday Dinner With Grandpa

Good Evening, World!!! I just spent the last two hours with my grandpa as today is his 88th birthday. It was an extremely difficult birthday for him as it is his first birthday dinner since my grandma’s death on Valentines Day of this year. As difficult as it was for him and I both, he really enjoyed himself. As much as my grandpa wishes my grandma was still around to cook him his birthday dinner he appeared extremely grateful that I stepped up to the plate and made it for him. It was nice to have a meal with just my grandpa and myself.

Over dinner we discussed me going back to work and seeing if I was ready to go back to work. He agrees that I am ready to go back to work and he is proud of me that I am seeking out jobs in the field I love and finally getting interviews. Even when the interviews are far in between each other at least I am getting them. He might take me to my job interview on August 31st so I don’t have to take an hour bus ride each way. Of course if I get the job I will have to take the bus but  I am okay with that.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope you have a great rest of your Thursday. I am glad that my grandpa at a great birthday despite our grief over my grandma. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Combating Depression & Other Randomness

Good Afternoon, World. Right now I am combating both depression and grief. I am really missing my paternal grandma today. Or at least that is how the wave of grief is having it for me today. I am also combating off some depression. Not sure if it is the regular depression I deal with or if it is depression related to the grief or maybe a combination of both.

To help me fight off the depression and grief I have been doing some household chores to make my apartment cleaner. Cleaner so when my grandpa comes over for his birthday dinner it’s not as messy as it usually is. I am making my grandpa meatloaf for his birthday because that is what he wants even though it’s a “simple meal” it is one that he “enjoys.” Being able to do something for my grandpa for his birthday instead of giving him something is something he would rather have as the memories are better than material things.

Another way I have been combating the depression and grief is getting ready to go to a conference early next week that is solely for Peer Specialist/Counselors. Just knowing I will be with people who are in recovery with mental health challenges for two days is enough to keep me going. I will be in a hotel for two day full of peer support. In fact I also sought out peer support today for the depression and grief. That someone is the one who is the supervisor of the volunteers at the peer conference. See I got a full ride scholarship, including lodging and food just because I will be volunteering. I only have to pay for transportation which is easy because I am car pooling with someone to the conference. The power of peers is a real thing and we are going to fight against the mental health system somehow.

On a good note, and I think I have informed you of this already is that I have an interview on Friday, August 31st, 2018 for a peer specialist job. A job I am unsure about but hope I get an opportunity to get back in the swing of things. Yes, I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things work wise but am a bit nervous about going back to work. I am having some self doubts about going back to work but for me having self doubts is a normal part of my daily mental health challenges.

I should really get going as I need to start preparing to cook dinner as my grandpa will be here shortly and likes to eat relatively early. I am expecting to eat around five in the evening in my neck of the woods.

I would like to thank you again for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader and/or follower, I still would not be blogging. Peace Out, World!!

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Adulting Type of Day Turned Into A Childhood Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today started out with me having to do some adulting. I had to go to DSHS and take care of a mistake that they made and was easily fixed. I then took care of some medical bills and getting charity care for most of the bills and on a payment plan for the rest of the bill. I also set up a payment plan with a collection agency due to an overdue medical bill. On top of that I got my meds and did some household chores.

After realizing that I got all my adulting done for the day by ten thirty in the morning, I realized my emotions were starting to get the better of me. The first thing I did was cuddle with my cat. I ended up playing with my cat with her wand thingy and laser which she loves playing with both.

As I played with my cat I realized my emotions were still at an uncomfortable level so I decided to do some art work. I did some painting as well as collaging. I even combined the two genres which looks really cool.

As I finished painting I decided to play with some of the toys I have which helped a great deal. It helped me deal with the childhood emotions I was dealing with when I was done doing the adulting things. There is something therapeutic about playing with toys even as an adult.

My grandpa then called me if I wanted to go over to his place to go swimming and to have dinner. I, of course said yes to this. I love swimming and it is hard to say no to free food.  I swam for a couple of hours and ate till I was stuffed.

So when I came home from my grandpa’s house, I decided to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. Dealing with both my adulthood and childhood emotions today was a good thing emotionally.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am grateful that I have people like you who are willing to read what goes on in my life. I hope you all had a great Monday as mine turned into an awesome one. Have a great evening. I hope all of you will continue to read my blog, no matter how much I ramble on. Peace Out, World!!!