Sunday Morning Blues

Good Morning, World!!! I know its been a couple of hours since I last posted but things changed quite quickly. Yes, I did finish reading the new paper and watching the morning news as well as doing my chores.

Unfortunately, as I was doing my household chores, I started becoming in crisis mode. That means I have urges to self harm. I did call the crisis team of the agency I seek services at and came up with a safety plan. A safety plan that I hope I am able to keep. I can promise you all that if I can not keep my safety plan that I will go to the hospital. I am NOT suicidal. I just feel like self harming. Again, if I am unable to stay safe I WILL take myself to the hospital. Part of my safety plan, I already mentioned in my last post at that is to read the fantasy book that I decided to start reading again since I never finished the book. I am looking forward to spending time in a good book and get my mind off of the shit of self harming. I hope that reading this fantasy book will do the trick

Another part of my safety plan is being around my cat, Lil Gertie. That means playing with her as well as cuddling with. That also means giving her some pets and loves. And of course cleaning out her litter box which I already did this morning. I clean it out twice a day. I have already fed her, her wet food and she has access to her dry food 24/7 so I know she won’t starve. So yes I have already taken care of her needs for the day except for her evening litter box cleaning. Now its time for me to cuddle up to her as well as play with her. That is if she is up to it as she is a cat.

Another thing I came up with the crisis clinician is to work on my art work. We decided that both coloring and painting would be quite helpful to me. I also informed the crisis clinician that I can combine painting and collaging as it mixes genres and is really cool looking. She thought that doing art is a great way to express myself especially with that of the mixture of genres.

The last part of my safety plan was and is to blog. In fact it was the first thing I decided to do as part of my safety plan so I could inform all of you my reader of my current struggles despite getting a good nights sleep and a good start to the day. Sometimes the struggles of a mental health challenge can come out of the blue despite how well it started. Blogging is quite helpful for me to hold myself accountable to others. Just as reminder, if the urges to self harm get stronger there is no need to worry about me as I will take myself to the hospital as well as call the crisis worker I talked to back. So, I do have an added safety plan to the safety plan I am informing you of. So, for me as I already mentioned helps me be accountable to others yet I don’t want others to worry about me.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You my reader are all awesome in my eyes. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

(Side Note: Yes, I know I have mentioned it already, I am NOT suicidal. If I feel like I am unable to keep myself safe I will call the crisis worker back or take myself to the hospital or in worse case scenario, I will call 911. I just want make sure you all know that I have a back up plan.) 

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A Foggy & Not So Sleepy Sunday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! It is a foggy Sunday morning here in Seattle. Looks like it could be another lazy day but I need to do some house work first. But first things first is that I read the Sunday news paper and now I am watching the Sunday morning news. I was able to get some sleep last night which is a major deal since I haven’t really slept for a few days.

Like I mentioned in my last paragraph I have household chores I need to do. Thankfully, there is not much to do. After watching the morning news since I have already read the news paper, I will do my chores to get them out of the way.

After doing my chores, I plan on reading most of the day. I plan on reading the fantasy book I recently picked up again. I started reading it again because I never finished the book the first time. The book is a really good book. I think I will be able to finish it this time around is because my consternation is a lot better due to the fact the symptoms of my mental health challenges are getting better. So, that what lazy thing I plan on doing most of the day besides playing with my cat, Lil Gertie.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night Turns Into Morning

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t sleep at all last night and it now six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world. I am struggling at the moment not only because I had a sleepless. I am also struggling with some severe PTSD as well as grief over my grandma’s death nearly seven months ago.

I am planning on spending time with family today. Not because I am dealing with the grief of my grandma but because it is something my grandma wanted as her last wish. For her family to spend time together on the regular basis. I am not sure if I am wanting to go due to the lack of sleep however I will go due to it being the wish of my grandma.

I am not sure what else I am going to do today but I plan on doing something. Most likely I will attempt to take a nap due to the lack of sleep I got last night. I also plan on doing some grocery shopping and laundry. I, of course will play with Lil Gertie, my cat.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Adulting Type of Day Turned Into A Childhood Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today started out with me having to do some adulting. I had to go to DSHS and take care of a mistake that they made and was easily fixed. I then took care of some medical bills and getting charity care for most of the bills and on a payment plan for the rest of the bill. I also set up a payment plan with a collection agency due to an overdue medical bill. On top of that I got my meds and did some household chores.

After realizing that I got all my adulting done for the day by ten thirty in the morning, I realized my emotions were starting to get the better of me. The first thing I did was cuddle with my cat. I ended up playing with my cat with her wand thingy and laser which she loves playing with both.

As I played with my cat I realized my emotions were still at an uncomfortable level so I decided to do some art work. I did some painting as well as collaging. I even combined the two genres which looks really cool.

As I finished painting I decided to play with some of the toys I have which helped a great deal. It helped me deal with the childhood emotions I was dealing with when I was done doing the adulting things. There is something therapeutic about playing with toys even as an adult.

My grandpa then called me if I wanted to go over to his place to go swimming and to have dinner. I, of course said yes to this. I love swimming and it is hard to say no to free food.  I swam for a couple of hours and ate till I was stuffed.

So when I came home from my grandpa’s house, I decided to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. Dealing with both my adulthood and childhood emotions today was a good thing emotionally.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am grateful that I have people like you who are willing to read what goes on in my life. I hope you all had a great Monday as mine turned into an awesome one. Have a great evening. I hope all of you will continue to read my blog, no matter how much I ramble on. Peace Out, World!!!

An Adulting Type of Day

Good Morning, World!!! I don’t know where to start so I guess, I will start at the beginning. I started off the day with going to the DSHS office and well it always sucks dealing with government agencies but thankfully everything was taken care of. Thankfully, I am getting some of my medical back and getting my food stamps back.

After dealing with DSHS, I had to make some phone calls. Phone calls regarding medical bills and one collection agency. I have been able to get charity care and/or make payment plans which is a burden off of my back.

I have also gone to the pharmacy to get my meds for the week. I am now getting my meds on the weekly basis per my psychiatric nurse practitioner. After having a suicide attempt a month ago with Tylenol she didn’t want to risk me overdosing on my meds. To tell you the truth I am more likely to stop my meds than to over dose on them. I am hoping that I will only have to do this for a month or two to prove myself again. I know she is only doing this for my protection. So, I got my meds and I take them as prescribed.

I have some household chores that I have been putting off that finally got done. Getting my household chores done is a great accomplishment.

Hell, doing everything I have done today by ten thirty in the morning in my corner of the world is a major accomplishment. I am very proud of myself for being able to do all this by ten thirty in the morning.

Now, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my day. I know I will be spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as she helps me with my emotions.  As I figure out what to do with the rest of my day, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Monday and a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Home With Cat

Good Afternoon, World!!! I don’t know if I stated in my last post, I am now home with my cat. In fact my last post was written and posted here at home. It is nice to be home with my cat at my side. Right now she is purring and it is calming me down quite a bit.

Now that I am home, it is my goal to get my depression and anxiety under control. How do I plan on doing this you ask. Great question. I plan on blogging off and on all day today. I also plan on doing chores which is an odd way of helping with depression and anxiety. Of course spending time with my cat is another way that will be helpful for my anxiety and depression.

I also plan on spending it time with some of my neighbors who have become really good friends. In fact we will be having a potluck dinner. More like an early dinner at about four in the afternoon in my corner of the world. That is less than an hour away for me.

I just wish I wasn’t having such high anxiety and increasing depression despite everything I am doing to combat it. Maybe if I blog later on about the dinner I had or whatever the hell is on my mind will help.

I want to thank you for reading my blog no matter how depressing it can be. For me I appreciate you for reading my blog. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday. I hope to blog again later on today to let you know how things have improved. Or I hope improved.  I am very grateful for all of you reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Why Can’t My Brain Turn Off

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling at the moment with my brain not turning off. I am not sure why I can’t turn it off at the moment. I have had a pretty good day as I spent it with my family.

I am wondering why my brain won’t turn off and there are many reasons why. Reasons I can’t take care of till tomorrow. One has to do with DSHS paper work that has to do with human and/or computer error. Another reason is that a couple of my medical bill have gone to collections and I thought I took care of it with the appropriate people so it looks like I will be on the phone a lot tomorrow and maybe most of the week. Oh how I hate being on the phone for things I thought I already have taken care of.

All this is making me worry about money even more than I should be worried about it. Hopefully all this will be taken care of this tomorrow if not sometime this week. There is nothing I can really do right now as it is Sunday and have to wait to a weekday to deal with all this shit.

Dealing with all this shit isn’t helping much with my depression which sucks. But one thing that is helping with my depression right now is my cat. Having a cat that is willing to cuddle with you when you are down is quite helpful. I love Lil Gertie, my cat, so much.

Spending time with my family overnight and this morning was quite helpful with trying to turn my brain off as well. It helped a little but not as much as I would have hoped. I did enjoy spending time with my grandpa.

Now I have to figure out how to spend the rest of my day as I need to keep busy. I guess, I can do the usual stuff with doing art work, read, and spend time with neighbors and friends. I might even look for more jobs and apply for them. Another thing I can do is go for a walk as well as do household chores.

I want to thank you for reading about what is going on in my brain right now. I just hope everything works out as it needs to work out. Have a good Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!