It’s Been A Couple Of Days

Hello, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. In all honesty things haven’t been going all that well for me and surprisingly I haven’t been hospitalized. Mainly, because I have been isolating so I won’t do anything. No, I am not currently suicidal nor am at risk of self harming myself. I have been disassociating bad enough that I lost track of my days and missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday.  So, since I missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday, I think it might be a wise decision for me to try to connect with him at some point today.

Due to the dissociation I don’t remember much of this week including yesterday, the first day of summer.  For me the solstice is a major deal especially the summer solstice. It helps me remember to focus on my goals for the year and to see where I am at with my goals. Goals that I wanted to go over with my therapist yesterday with my therapist.

I have an inkling that there is a very small chance of me being hospitalized just for the fact I haven’t been taking care of myself this past week. On a good note I have been taking care of my cat, Lil Gertie. Having an emotional support animal like my cat has been quite helpful for me.  I think, Lil Gertie has been a life savor for me.

I think I am going to go now and call my therapist. I hope everyone has wonderful summer. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

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Afternoon Ramblings

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here at day treatment bored half out of my mind. I did get my hair cut which is a good thing. It feels more like a summer cut now.

I am looking forward to what this summer has to bring. Summer is my favorite time of year. The sunny weather actually helps with my depression. I just love the fact that the days are longer and it is warmer outside.

My interview yesterday went extremely well. It went so well that I think I might be getting the part time position. I hope I do get as I miss working a great deal. I miss the clients and being able to be of help to others.

My depression has been acting up and I am just ready for it go the fuck away. Sorry but not sorry for the cussing as it is the best way describe how I feel about the depression. Depression sucks shit but that is why I have skills to help me through the depression.

I am going to get going as other people in day treatment want to use the computer and I have a laptop at home I can use. As always, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Beginning To Feel Like Summer

It’s beginning to feel like summer and I’m loving it. The weather hasn’t necessarily been the best in my neck of the woods so when its finally nice out, I take advantage of the weather. Its suppose to be in the mid-eighties to high-eighties today. Tomorrow it’s suppose to hit 95 degrees and a lot of the “locals” aren’t exactly happy about it. Ninety-five degrees is a wee bit “hot” for them. I, of course love the hot weather due to growing up in California.

The one thing I’ve learned from growing up in California is to stay hydrated and to slather yourself in sun block. I say this because tomorrow I will be volunteering at the Pride Parade helping out with crowd control. As much as I am looking forward to helping out, it’s causing some anxiety. I’m not sure why it’s causing anxiety but it is. I, however won’t let anxiety get in the way from allowing me to enjoy the events of Pride weekend.

One of the things, I am doing this weekend to celebrate pride besides volunteering at the Pride Parade is attending a picnic with friends and lots of food. In fact I am attending the picnic today. I always look forward to enjoying food with my friends. Friends who love me and care about me no matter what. Friends who accept me as me.

I need to get going as I need to finish one of the dishes, I am taking to the picnic. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Happy Pride and Peace Out!!!

 

The Boys Of Summer

Baseball season is coming to an end. Well, let me clarify the regular season of baseball is coming to an end. To me baseball season coming to an end means the end of summer. Yes, I do realize that Summer has “officially” been over with for a few days now but it still makes me sad. It makes me sad because I love summer and I love baseball.

With the regular season of baseball season coming to an end that means that the playoffs are just around the corner. I already know that my favorite team the Angels are going to the playoffs because they have clinched a play off spot. In fact the Angels have the best record in all of baseball. I am proud of my Angels because they worked there asses off to have the best record in all baseball.

Even though I am proud of the Angels for having the best record in all of baseball, I am disappointed that they lost to the Mariners both tonight and last night. I know I shouldn’t be disappointed in the Angels because they due have the best record of all baseball but I am. My boyfriend is thrilled that the Angels lost to the Mariners because he is a Mariner fan.

The reason why my boyfriend is happy that the Mariners won tonight is because it mean that they (the Mariners) still have a chance of going to the playoffs. To be honest with you I have mixed feelings about the Mariners going to the playoffs. I have mixed feelings because that means that my team will have to loose tomorrow for Mariners to have chance to go to the playoff. As much as I want the Angels to go to the World Series and win it; I think it would be nice for the Mariners to go to the World Series because they are one of two teams that have never been. (Side Note: The other team that has never been to the World Series is the Washington Nationals. Even when the Nationals were the Montreal Expos they never went to the World Series.)

As much as I would love the Angels and the Dodgers to meet up in the World Series, I do have to say it would be kind of cool if the two teams (Seattle Mariners and Washington Nationals) who have never been to the World Series to meet up in the World series. The Angels already have a World Series ring and it would be cool if they could get another one but it would be nice to have a team get one that has never been to the World Series. I do have to say it doesn’t matter how good your record is when you make the playoffs because you never know how far you will make in the playoffs.

I think I have talked enough about baseball for one day. In fact I can talk about baseball all day and just need to shut-up about it at the moment. I need to get going because it’s getting late and I am getting tired. I am going to call it a night. Have goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace out!!!

Happy Monday Morning!!!

     Happy Monday Morning!!! Yes, I know its Monday and its the start of work week but I am on vacation. The sad thing is that I woke up naturally at 5:00 am (Pacific time) and was about to get out of bed when I realized that I was on vacation. I hate when that happens. Oh well. I did try to get back to sleep but was unable to do so, so I got up and read a A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.

     When I started A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens I did have trouble getting into it however it’s now starting to get good. I am enjoying it immensely. I think I had difficulty getting into it because of dyslexia but I’ve learned to deal with the dyslexia and enjoy reading. After reading for about 45 minutes I decided to watch the local news.

     As I was watching the morning news a story came on that not only angered me but made me laugh. A group of 3 teenagers stole the keys out of a 70something year old woman’s hand in a parking lot to steal her car. That’s what angered me. Why would you steal anybody’s car especially that of an elderly person? Now here comes the funny part. The teenagers got into the elderly woman’s car and realized it was a stick shift car and they couldn’t drive it. They didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. The elderly woman pulled them out of the car and the teenagers ran off. They still haven’t caught the teenagers but the elderly woman was just grateful that she wasn’t hurt. She was even laughing at the situation that they couldn’t drive a stick shift. I hope they find those teenagers because if that was my grandmother I would want them to be punished.

    Speaking of grandmothers, the news story reminded me to call my own grandmother. I talked to both my grandma and grandpa. The set of grandparents that I spoke to are my dad parents or paternal grandparents. My paternal grandparents help my dad out a great deal when I was growing up and helped raised me. They were very involved with my growing up years. My dad is grateful to my grandparents that they helped him out with raising me. I’m grateful that they are still alive. Unfortunately, my maternal grandparents (mom’s parents) are deceased. I miss them a great deal.

     Now that I’m done talking about my family let get back to other things. I am grateful that I am on vacation from work this week. Many people don’t realize how stressful working in a grocery store really is. I am grateful that I am able to work despite having a mental illness. One of the things I plan on doing this week is to look to see if there are in job openings as a Peer Support Specialist/Peer Counselor as well as look into getting involved with NAMI and other such organizations. I figured the more I get involved with mental health organizations the better it looks on the resumé. I’m sure my volunteer work looks good as well.

     Speaking of mental health, I need to get going. I need to get ready to go and see my therapist. Today, I plan on discussing my nightmares with my therapist, Diana. (Side Note: Diana is a pseudonym that I gave my therapist for her privacy and the protection of the her other clients.) Diana has helped me a great deal with my recovery. She is just as invested in my recovery as I am. I hope to tell you later on how my session with Diana went but no promises. It depends how difficult it was for me.

      I hope the rest of your morning goes well. In fact I hope the rest of your Monday goes well and that you have a good work week. I hope to blog again later today even if I don’t blog about my therapy session. Try to at least get out and enjoy the weather today to break up your workday. Peace out and enjoy the summer.

Today Has Been A Good Summer Solstice

     Well the first day of summer is coming to an end and it turned out to be a good day. I hung out with two very good friends today. My friends and I went to Red Robin on the Waterfront in the city we reside in. I had my favorite hamburger which is The Whisky Barbeque Burger. My friends and I of course shared a desert of Mud Pie. Now that was yummy. The view of the water was beautiful as well as the mountains in the distance. After my friends and I were finished with our meal we decided to walk around the waterfront and enjoy the scenery. About an hour into walking around we realized we needed to get back to our end of the city because the three of us were going to Mass.

    We went to Mass. Yes, going to Mass was quite triggering for me because of my past with the Christian faith. Even though I haven’t had “issues” with the Catholic denomination, going to Mass was trigging. I did make it through the hour long Mass and am proud of myself for doing so. Hell, my two friends were and are proud of me. I don’t know if I would attend Mass again but I am glad I went. The best part was that no one judged me for my scarred up arms. 

    Tomorrow, my boyfriend and I are hosting World Cup party at his place, when the United States plays Portugal. I am looking forward to spending time with my boyfriend as well as our friends. In fact the two friends I hung out with today are going to go to the party as well. Being around supportive people is good for everyone especially for those who struggle with mental illness. That’s why I’m looking forward tomorrow because I will be around people who care about me and support me not matter what. Plus, we (me and all in attendance at the party) will be rooting on the U.S.A in the World Cup when they play Portugal. GO U.S.A.!!!! 

    Well I best be going. I need to finish making snacks for the World Cup party tomorrow. I think making the snacks is going to be an all night thing. Have a good rest of Saturday if it’s still Saturday for you. It’s still Saturday for me. Since it’s officially summer I can now say; Have a good summer. Enjoy your summer. Peace out and hope to blog again tomorrow.

Happy Summer Solstice!!!

     Happy Summer Solstice!!! We all know what the summer solstice means. It means its the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. Today is also the first full day of my vacation. I will of course take advantage of the first day of summer as well as my first day of vacation.

     As some of you know that the lack of structure for people who struggle with a mental illness is not a good thing. The lack of structure can lead to symptoms acting up. That’s why I have to be vigilant when I am on vacation and don’t have anything really major planned. That’s why today I have to be vigilant because my boyfriend is working today and we usually plan to do things together.

     Since my boyfriend is working today and wont get off till tomorrow morning I plan on hanging out with some good friends. I plan on meeting up with two of my best friends at the Waterfront to eat at Red Robin. I love Red Robin. They have the best hamburgers in the world. My favorite Red Robin hamburger is the Whiskey River Barbeque Burger. Besides  planning on going to Red Robin with two of my best friends, one of them asked me and my other friend if we could go to (Catholic) Mass with her this evening. I might go because I’ve never been to a Catholic Mass. Plus my mom grew up Catholic so I guess it’s a part of my heritage and figure to see what its all about. (Side Note: When my parents got married they decided to not raise me in any particular religion because they both grew up in what they consider strict faiths. My dad grew up Mormon. My parents wanted me and still want me to choose my own religion even after they got divorced.) So if I go to mass, I plan on going to a local park to read after attending Mass. I am enjoying A Tale of Two Cities, immensely.

     Now that I have told you what I plan doing today, I will tell you all something. I am a little frustrated with myself right now. I don’t think I’m reaching as many people with this blog as I had hoped I would. Yes, I will continue to blog but I was kind of hoping that I would have more followers on my blog by now. I know it takes time and that I have only been doing this for about 3 weeks now. I just want to show people out there who are “normal” that those of us who struggle with mental illness can live everyday lives just like them in hopes that it will lessen the stigma of mental illness. I also hope that this blog shows those who do struggle mental illness that their is hope and that recovery is possible. All I want to do is lessen the stigma of mental illness and show those who are struggling that hope and recovery are out there. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when it comes to this blogging thing especially since I am still new to it and trying to get into the groove of it and what people might be interested in reading.

     Now that I have bored you with the things in the blog entry I’m going to end it for now. Have a good Saturday every. Happy Summer Solstice everyone. I hope that you all enjoy the first day of summer and that the rest of your summer is fun.