Photography: Developing Your Eye I; Day Nine: Pop of Color

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s topic for the photography course I am taking for free through WordPress is “Pop of color.” When I saw the topic I immediately thought of this picture I took last summer. Took it last summer as I walked through the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle before going to an art class I was taking at the time. Every time I see this picture it makes me smile.

A pink flower with bright green in the center.

Photography: Developing Your Eye I; Day Four: Bliss

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s topic is bliss. For me attending baseball games is bliss. It brings back positive childhood memories. I, sadly don’t live in the area of my favorite team, The Angels but I still get to see them play when they come to Seattle when they play against the Mariners. I feel like a little kid when I attend a baseball game and enjoy being surrounded by fellow baseball fans. I miss baseball. For those who are sight impaired I have added a caption to the picture and hope that you are able to read it because WordPress gives you the option to add it to the photo.

The Angels playing the Mariners at Safeco Field now known as T-Mobile Park in Seattle, Washington. Not sure if you could tell but that Angels are at bat.

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I am beyond grateful for taking today off. I am grateful that I can be awake during daylight hours especially on the first day of summer. I am grateful that I won’t have to work tonight.

As I stated sometime late last week/early this week that I would be starting the Weekly Check-Ins once again on Saturday evenings. So I am following through on what I said I would do and am not allowing increased PTSD symptoms to prevent me from doing so. So here is my weekly check-in.

As expected I went to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City on Monday. I am still in training and “helped” with an adoption. More or less I observed but I am okay with that. I mostly did dishes and laundry which I am glad I was able to do as we only had one person scheduled to visit a cat and thankfully the cat found its furrever home. I was also able to visit with the cats and spend time with them. I mainly spent time with the senior kitty with FIV. I feel in love with him and so would have adopted him but since FIV cats need to be an only cat or be in a home with other cat with FIV adopting him was not an option as my cat, Billie Dean, does not have FIV. I love being able to volunteer at PAWS Cat City.

I had my usual session with my therapist. Instead of having a phone session we decided to do our session via Zoom. I wish would have been Zoom all along but it is a lesson learned. As of right now, my next session is going to be in person with extra precautions in place but if the agency I go has to change the start date for in person session then our session will be via Zoom. My current therapist appears to be really supportive.

One of the things I did do multiple times this past week was go walking to Cowen Park and Ravenna Park. In fact I “hiked” through both parks as they have trails that connect both parks together. I love the being able to go walking on trails through local city parks. In fact Seattle has some pretty amazing parks. Parks that have actual hiking trails which I love.

Another thing I did multiple times this week was start doing mindfulness and/or meditation practices twice daily. I had pretty much stopped this completely and realized I needed to get back into mindfulness and/or meditations practices. I have found that it has been quite helpful for me and my recovery to continue to do this.

I do not have much more to share in this particular blog post. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great summer ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Ten: Future

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

The future is now.

The future is here.

This is the day we have been waiting for;

The first day of summer;

Known as Summer Solstice.

A time to celebrate.

A time to be aware of what this new season brings us.

Now its time to continue to stand up.

Stand up to the racism that divides this country.

Time to support our friend of color.

The future is NOW.

Missing the Boys of Summer

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is difficult for me to comprehend that there is no baseball right now. Not actually difficult to comprehend but wishing that the pandemic of Covid-19 wasn’t happening. Nobody knows at this point in time if there will even be a baseball season even if it is a shortened season. One can hope for a shortened season but the reality is we don’t know due to the pandemic and the teams versus the owners at the moment.

I miss attending baseball games even if my favorite team is usually the visiting team as I live in enemy territory of Seattle and I am an Angels fan. If you are not familiar with baseball, the Angels are a team that is located in Anaheim, California. I live in Seattle, Washington which is home to the Seattle Mariners. So, that means when I want to see the Angels play in person, I will most likely see them play against the Mariners here in Seattle as I don’t have money to travel to Anaheim to see the Angels play. When I go to a Mariners game when they play against my home town team, the Angels, I am not afraid to wear my Angel gear. I am die hard Angel fan even when I am living in enemy territory like Seattle.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do, however, want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone is having a great Monday. I also hope everyone has an awesome work week ahead of them. Before I go, and I realize baseball isn’t currently being played I want to say: GO ANGELS!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Get off work
  • Take a nap
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie Dean
  • Walk to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks
  • Start working on a workbook or two again

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.

Tuesday

  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.
  • Go walking to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks

Wednesday

  • Have a therapy session via phone call or zoom with my therapist. (I am hope a zoom call as I am not to fond of phone sessions.)
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork

Thursday

  • Walk through Cowen and Raven Parks
  • Do some form of artwork
  • Work on a workbook or two

Friday

  • Do some form of artwork
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on a workbook or two

Saturday

  • Enjoy a much needed day off from work. (I only work on Saturday night for a twelve plus hour night shift.)
  • Enjoy the first day of summer
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Celebrate the summer Solstice.
  • Work on a workbook or two

Blessed (Summer) Solstice

Blessed Solstice, World!!! It is the first day of summer in the northern hemisphere while it is the first day of winter in the southern hemisphere. I am so grateful that it is now summer and the longest day of the year. Sadly, tomorrow the days start getting shorter but am going to enjoy the summer either way.

As summer starts, I realize that this last week hasn’t been the easiest of weeks for me and that I have my mental health treatment team worried about and rightfully so. Monday started off like any other Monday. I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner and that we okay. It only went okay due to the fact that I withheld information from her and that ultimately didn’t help me on Tuesday but thankfully, I found out on Monday that I didn’t need to work on Tuesday night which I was and am thrilled about.

Now on to Tuesday. Tuesday was not a good day for me. I am not exactly sure why but it wasn’t. Long story short, I attempted to die by suicide by overdosing on one of meds. Thankfully, my psychiatric nurse practitioner has me pick up my meds once a week at my pharmacy so it was only a weeks worth of one medication. I was in the emergency room for about eight hours according to the medical records that were sent to my therapist. Sadly, I only talked with the social worker for about ten minutes and she informed me that it was MY duty to notify the after-hours crisis team of the mental health agency I am a client of to let them know I attempted to die by suicide. She didn’t even call them to let them make the decision to come evaluate me to see if hospitalization was needed. So when I got discharged from the emergency room and got home I called the after-hours crisis line and let the crisis clinician know. The after-hours clinician was upset at the social worker in the emergency room I was at because she was there twice evaluating two different people while I was there and the social worker didn’t even inform her. Thankfully, the after-hours clinician wasn’t upset with me and she told me that it is her (the hospital social worker) duty to notify her and not mine which I already knew. We talked for about forty-five minutes to make sure I was okay enough to be safe at home.

On Wednesday, my therapist called me and we discussed my attempted suicide and what happened with the emergency room social worker. He wanted to make see what my side of the story was as the after-hours crisis clinician ended up going back to the same emergency room I was in to evaluate another client and “had some words” with the emergency room social worker about me. Apparently, the after-hours crisis clinician is “extremely protective” of me in particular because she “sees a lot of” me in her. So, I informed my therapist of my extremely limited interaction with the emergency room social worker. After my phone call with him I guess he got my medical records from the emergency room and talked with a social worker who is familiar with me but was not on when I was in the emergency room and from my understanding that social worker wasn’t exactly happy with her colleague and how she handled my care.

Thursday (yesterday), I had my session with my therapist and we discussed at length about my attempted suicide. We also discussed how my psychiatric nurse practitioner want me to get my med two to three times a week at the pharmacy located on the campus of the mental health agency I go to. I informed my therapist that I am not liking the idea but understand that is it for “safety reasons” and that even though I don’t like the idea I would prefer to go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last nineteen years. I informed him that I won’t “put up a fight” about getting my meds two to three times a week if we could compromise on me getting my meds from the pharmacy of my choosing, if not then I will “put up a fight.” He said he would discuss it with my psychiatric nurse practitioner about it and I know it will all work out. Another thing I did yesterday was go to DBT group and am grateful for the group. DBT has been quite helpful for me and have been making an effort to do the skills that don’t come automatically to me. The DBT skills is one of the things the has been one of the most helpful things for me and my mental health recovery.

Something, I have noticed since coming home from the emergency room is that my cat has become more clingy. She has been laying on my lap or chest when I am sitting my recliner more frequently and for a longer period of time. I think she knows that I am struggling and is doing what she thinks is helpful in comforting me and it is quite helpful. I am so grateful for my cat and that she has picked up quickly without any training on what helps me emotionally. Animals are so smart that way. I love my cat so much and am beyond thrilled that she is my emotional support animal. Getting my cat, Lil Gertie, is one of the best decisions I have made.

I do not have much else to say. I am NOT currently suicidal am NOT at risk of any self harm acts. If I do have self harm urges or feel suicidal I will take myself to the emergency room and/or call the after-hours crisis line that my mental health agency provides for their clients. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate your readership. I hope everyone has an awesome summer and great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Adulting Type of Day Turned Into A Childhood Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today started out with me having to do some adulting. I had to go to DSHS and take care of a mistake that they made and was easily fixed. I then took care of some medical bills and getting charity care for most of the bills and on a payment plan for the rest of the bill. I also set up a payment plan with a collection agency due to an overdue medical bill. On top of that I got my meds and did some household chores.

After realizing that I got all my adulting done for the day by ten thirty in the morning, I realized my emotions were starting to get the better of me. The first thing I did was cuddle with my cat. I ended up playing with my cat with her wand thingy and laser which she loves playing with both.

As I played with my cat I realized my emotions were still at an uncomfortable level so I decided to do some art work. I did some painting as well as collaging. I even combined the two genres which looks really cool.

As I finished painting I decided to play with some of the toys I have which helped a great deal. It helped me deal with the childhood emotions I was dealing with when I was done doing the adulting things. There is something therapeutic about playing with toys even as an adult.

My grandpa then called me if I wanted to go over to his place to go swimming and to have dinner. I, of course said yes to this. I love swimming and it is hard to say no to free food.  I swam for a couple of hours and ate till I was stuffed.

So when I came home from my grandpa’s house, I decided to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. Dealing with both my adulthood and childhood emotions today was a good thing emotionally.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am grateful that I have people like you who are willing to read what goes on in my life. I hope you all had a great Monday as mine turned into an awesome one. Have a great evening. I hope all of you will continue to read my blog, no matter how much I ramble on. Peace Out, World!!!

A Tired Seattleite & Their Randomness

Good Morning, again, World!!! I am tired as hell as I didn’t get much sleep last night. I didn’t get much sleep last night due to a multiple of things which I have written about in my last three post. On a plus note at least my cat, Lil Gertie, is getting some sleep. Something I wish I could be doing right now.

At this point in time I don’t know what the hell, I am going to discuss in the post as I am an extremely tired person. As a person with the lack of sleep not having a clue what they are going to write, I ask for you forgiveness a head of time if I offend or annoy anyone.

I guess, I will start on subject I write about quite often; blogging. It appears to me that since I am using different “tags” that I am getting more people to at least look at my blog. I have even received some new followers due to not using my usual tags. I just figure if I combine some of my usual tags along side with new tags then I am all good with reaching out to people who might need hope or to help bring awareness to others to help lessen the stigma that goes around with having a mental health challenge.

The weather here in Seattle has gotten a lot cooler. I personally love the warm weather but I get highly annoyed hearing people complain about the heat of the summer. I love the heat. I guess I love the heat because I spent most of my childhood growing up in Southern California. I do miss parts of California but Seattle.

Later on today I am taking my grandpa out to lunch. I am taking him to my favorite restaurant; Red Robin. I love going there and I get the same thing every time. I get the Whiskey River Bar-be-que burger with extra cheese and onion straw thingy a mijigars.  It will be nice to spend time with my grandpa over lunch. In fact I am treating him to lunch. He does so much for me.

I have decided to cut the amount of time I spend on social media. Mainly, Facebook since it is the only social media account I have. I guess blogging can be considered social media but I don’t spend as much time on WordPress as I do as on Facebook. Plus Facebook has too much drama for my liking. I will attempt to not spend more than an hour total on Facebook.

Thank you for reading all my randomness. It is much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Thursday. Thank you so much for reading my blog. Don’t forget to let others know about it.  Have a great day everyone. Try to do random acts of kindness today as well. You never know when it could help save someones life or their day. Peace Out, World!!