Good Morning, World!!! I am back from the emergency room (ER). They gave be some other meds to help me sleep. They want me to try to get sleep without the meds first. I will try to take a nap but wont take the meds till tonight. The doctor wants me to contact my mental health treatment team which I am going to do. I just want to sleep.
Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! It is now five thirty in the morning for me. I still haven’t gotten any sleep. Sleep that I am desperately wanting and needing. I finally took some Ambien and it didn’t fucking work. It usually does and it is frustrating the hell out of me that I can not get some fucking sleep.
I am so frustrated that it is putting me in crisis mode. Enough of a crisis mode that once I am done blogging, I am going to take myself to the Emergency Room (E.R). I will be okay, I just need someone to fucking hear me on how fucking frustrating getting no sleep is. Right now I think going to the E.R is the best bet. I don’t want to concern you all. I just wanted to let you know what is going on. I know I will be okay, I just need to get the sleep thing taken care of.
Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.
I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.
I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.
Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am sitting in the emergency room (E.R) in pain and typing with one hand as I hit a brick wall. I hit a brick wall because I was feeling high anxiety as well as fear. I was feeling his way because of PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that were and are quite overwhelming.
Symptoms that I will be discussing with my therapist today when I see him. I’ll also be discussing my self harm actions. Actions that need to be discussed as I didn’t reach out to anybody when I first had urges to self harm this morning.
I did attempt to use my DBT skills. First of all I blogged. After posting my last post I ended up reading my book. Both blogging and reading helped but I obviously needed to reach out to somebody and/or needed to use more skills so I wouldn’t have punched a brick wall.
I should get going as I am in the emergency room getting my hand looked at. I’ll post again later. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World
Good Evening, World!!! I haven’t blogged in a while due to the fact that I was hospitalized for psych reasons. Well, mainly due to depression. As stated in my last post depression was (and is) biting me in the ass. Biting me in the ass so bad that hospitalization was the was the only way to keep myself safe.
While in the hospital, the group I enjoyed most was music therapy. The genre that was brought up the most in music group were the eighties. Yes, the eighties. It appeared that no matter the age or generation of the individual, everyone agreed on eighties music. It is always nice when folks can agree on something as simple and as common as music.
When I wasn’t attending groups, I was reading. Reading, Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I finally have enough consternation to read. I’ve only been attempting to read this particular book for months now and realize it was my depression getting in the way. It truly is an awesome book. A book worth reading and getting into. It is a book that is hard to put down.
Speaking of reading I want to end this post and get back to reading. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!! Right now I am frustrated with myself. Actually, I am frustrated with the pain I have in my hand. A pain which I caused a few days ago. A pain that is getting worse and not better.
In fact it was getting better along with the swelling starting to subside however it started getting worse this afternoon so I called the consulting nursing line. They asked what I was doing for pain control as well for the swelling. I informed them that I was taking Tylenol and/or Ibuprofen as direct by a doctor as well as icing it and mindfulness and meditation techniques. The nurse was quite surprised and is “impressed” by what I am doing. She suggested I go to the Emergency Room (E.R) and I think I am going to so that.
I will let you know what happens. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I am waking up in pain this morning as I have a couple of fractures in my wrist due to getting in a fight with a brick wall. I got angry with myself last evening and decided to hit a brick wall. Obviously, the brick wall won as I have a couple of fractures in my wrist and hand.
I, of course went to the hospital where I found out about the fractures. The doctor had me talk with the social worker. The social worker used humor to help me as I was upset with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. Thankfully, I was able to come home.
On another positive note, I see my regular doctor today that was already scheduled before hitting the brick wall. Hopefully, I will be able to get it my wrist and hand x-rayed again so I can get a copy of it. The x-ray will help remind me to not hit a brick wall.
I need to get going as it is difficult to type and I am in pain. Have a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! The last six days has not been the easiest for me. First my grandma died and then last night a neighbor was being a jerk and physically attacked me. I naturally called the police and filed a police report as well as went to the hospital. Good thing is that I have now broken bones. Bad news is that my face is swollen and I have bruising on my arms and back.
The doctor gave me some strong pain meds. He and I discussed ways to reduce my pain without meds as I only asked him to prescribe only three. I informed him that I do daily mindfulness and meditation practice twice a day and that I tend to do extra practices when I am in pain and/or have high anxiety. The doctor was impressed that I have non-medicine ways to deal with pain.
As expected and not surprising my PTSD is acting up. It is acting up severely and is an opportunity to use my mindfulness skills. Skill that have been quite helpful for me.
Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! I haven’t had the opportunity to blog for the last week due to the fact I was voluntarily admitted to a local psych hospital. I went and saw my Psychiatric ARNP as well as my temporary Therapist on Wednesday, January 3rd and everyone, including myself, agreed that I needed to be hospitalized. I desperately needed that help I received at the hospital and am grateful for it. I got discharged Thursday, January 11th and am feeling quite hopeful.
After spending one week and one day in the hospital I have a ray of hope even two days after discharge. For me having some hope is better than having no hope at all. I started off this year with no hope and after a short stay in a psych hospital, I finally have the hope I’ve been searching for since late 2016ish.
Before I end this post, I am beyond grateful that 2018 is starting out better than last year. Yes, I had to spend a week in the hospital due to being severely depressed while having hallucinations of voices that nobody else could hear and being suicidal however I have hope. Hope that will help me get through this year.
I hope that you all have good rest of your evening. Have a great weekend! Peace Out, World!!!
Hello, World!!! It is just barely two in the morning in my neck of the woods. I haven’t had the best of nights. I was sexually assaulted yesterday evening. Unfortunately, Junior is working his shift as a firefighter so I don’t have his support at the moment.
I will however have his support once he gets home later on in the morning. I didn’t call 911 but I did take myself to the emergency room (E.R) to get checked out. I have a bruised up face and stitches where the sun don’t shine. Yes, I did get a rape kit done but haven’t filed a police report yet. I plan making a police report later on in the morning when Junior gets home as having the support might be easier for me to report it.
Thank you for reading and sorry for the sad and awful news. I know I will get through this with the help of my friends and the professionals that help me. I hope to keep you all updated. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out!!!
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