Tag Archives: Loss

Dealing With Grief

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Today, I am getting together with my dad, grandpa and two uncles to celebrate Mother’s Day a day early in memory of my grandma. Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for my family as well as myself because it is going to be the first Mother’s Day without my grandma.

To help with the grief with this weekend I have a lot planned. Some of what I have planned is as simple as stuff I do everyday. Stuff such as reading Star War: Heir To The Empire or painting or listening to Podcast. Reading and listening helps me forget about the loss for a temporary amount of time. Painting helps me express my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Too Much Sh*t On My Mind

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I don’t know what to think right now. I have a lot of shit on my mind. I don’t know why I am having all this stuff going through my head.

I’m having trouble sleeping because of the shit going through my head. One thing I can’t seem to get out of my head is the trauma related stuff. Why can’t the PTSD give me a break? Especially, when I am wanting to go to sleep.

I am also thinking a lot about my grandma. I miss her so very much. I wish she was still here with me and my family. I know she is watching over me and is my guardian angel. She still looking out for me or I hope she still is.

I am also thinking about the money issues I am having because social security won’t make a decision about my case. I am still disabled. My disability didn’t all of a sudden disappear; although it would very nice if it did.

On the humorous side of things, I am also thinking about the Star Wars book I am reading. Of all things that I am thinking about I find this the best thing or the least anxiety provoking or painful.

Time With Grandpa

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am visiting my grandpa right now. My grandpa is doing well. We have been playing Monopoly most of the visit and are taking a break. I am enjoying my time with him. I am visiting him because we are both having trouble with grief over my grandma.

Missing my grandma is difficult and that is why I am keeping myself busy. Busy with various things.  Spending time with people like my grandpa and later on with Junior and some of our friends.

Another way I have been keeping myself busy is reading. Reading has been one of my go to things as of lately to help me. To help me through some difficult moments.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Brief Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am a little sad at the moment. I am missing my grandma a great deal at the moment. I wish she was here to give me some advice or at least for her to tell me that everything is going to be okay even I already know that but don’t feel like it.

On the plus side my new weighted blanket is really helping at the moment. I was skeptical when I bought it and now I am convinced that it is worth the money I spent on it. I highly recommend getting one if you have anxiety. Not sure about the sleep part of the help yet, as I haven’t been to bed yet.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing but Just a Bunch of Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! First and fore most I am having anxiety as Social Security informed me that I am “no longer disabled” and are discontinuing money that I worked hard for. They are also telling me I owe them money when I told them of the over-payment to begin with. I am having really high anxiety over this yet I can not do anything about it till I go into the office about it. I plan on going on Monday as I am sure tomorrow will be busy as it is the day after everyone gets paid. I may have anxiety over it but there is nothing I can really do right now.

I am also really sad right now because I am missing my grandma. I miss her and I know she would tell me everything is going to work out. I just have to remember that. I know she is watching over me and will want me to not worry about the Social Security.

The one thing that is helping is helping is something I just got from Amazon which is a weighted blanket. It is helping with everything that is going on for me at the moment. I am sweating by the weighted blanket. It is quite helpful.

I also saw my therapist today. I discussed with him my social security issue and he is going to help me the best he is able to do. I then checked in with him about a half an hour ago to inform him about how the weighted blanket is being of major help and how I wasn’t expecting till tomorrow. He really wants to help me the best he way is able to do so.

Thank you so for reading my blog. It mean the world!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Thin Mints Washing Away My Sorrows

Posted on by Gertie

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Good Evening, World!!! It has been one of them days. No matter what I do, I gain a little ground and then trip over the other shoe that finally dropped. Even though, I am struggling at this particular moment in time, I remember the things that give me hope like what I mentioned in my previous post.

I might be dealing with grief and loss from my grandma’s death as well as a trauma but I’m not harming myself which is a good thing. No, I don’t have urges to self harm but what I’m saying is that with the recent difficulties I am dealing with is that I could have some mental health symptoms that are more difficult than others to deal with.

Right now, I am eating a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. It is quite soothing for me to treat myself to Thin Mints. Girl Scout cookies are only sold for a limited time once a year.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

No Matter How Difficult; Honesty Is Best

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a long and difficult day for me. I started out the day with seeing my case manager. We had some not so good moments that we ended up working out which is huge progress on my end.

I then went to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Group. Group grew from four individuals to ten people. Lets see how many stick around this time. We of course have homework and I am okay with that. The homework will be quite helpful for me as it will give me the structure I so desperately need.

After group I saw Gilbert. It was a tough session however it was toward the end of the session that was the most difficult. I was honest with him about something I hadn’t been honest with anybody else about. Something that desperately needed to be told and I might share at a later date when I process it more with Gilbert.

Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Gertie’s Grief

Posted on by mamabearraine

Gertie didn’t want me to post today however I am a person of my word. Gertie is dealing with grief of the death of their grandma. Gerties grandma died two weeks ago today. Please send out good thoughts and vibes Gerties was especially since the funeral is over with next Wednesday is Gerties birthday.

Yes, Gertie’s birthday is a week from today. They would be to happy with me however Gertie is like one of my own children to me.

Have a wonderful week and keep Gertie in your thoughts and vibes.

Crying Over My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I miss my grandma. In fact I am currently crying because I miss her so much. The funeral just made it so real that she is actually gone, I didn’t want to say goodbye. I love her so much and wish she was still here.

Reality is that she won’t be coming back. Reality is that grief is not going to be an easy thing for me. Grief is scary for me.

I should get going. Thanks for reading. It is much appreciated. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

The Funeral Went Well

Posted on by Gertie

My anxiety it still quite high even a few hours after the funeral ended. The service went well. I personally thought it was awesome. I miss my grandma so much. It’s so hard to say goodbye however I’m glad I went.

Now it’s time to start the long term grieving  process and not sure when or how that is going happen. I just know I’ll have the support when I start really grieving.

Thank you so very much for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. Goodnight!!!! Peace Out, World!!!