Just Some Random Thoughts

Good Morning, World!!! I am not quite sure how I am doing this morning. I just know I got sleep and am happy about that. Sleep doesn’t come easy for me and am eager to let people know that I received a semi-good night of it.

Right now I feel like social media such as Facebook can cause me to isolate from the “real world.” I learned this when I did some of my homework for both Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and my therapist.  I learned from the homework assignments that setting a set time I spend on social media.

I am looking forward to art group. Art group happens early this afternoon. I love attending art group. Art helps me express my emotions in ways I can not explain.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

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Good Morning, World

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up in a depressive state.  A state that I can get out of by the time DBT group happens at one in the afternoon. I am also having some pretty high anxiety at the moment. Anxiety and depression I don’t know why I am having. I have a theory or two but at this point in time I am attempting to do what I need to do to focus on getting out of this anxious and depressive mood.

I’ll hopefully be able to check-in with my therapist today as I think I will  need one due to the anxiety and the depression I am dealing with. I think I am dealing with them due to not getting very much sleep last night. Not sure why I didn’t get very much sleep but that is one of my theories about the anxiety and depression. Checking in with my therapist is something that will help me with this as I want to act effectively when I go to group.

I am looking forward attending DBT group as I am done with my homework. We had to do a chain analysis as well as a diary card. The diary card is no big deal but the chain analysis was the difficult part of the homework. I discussed it with my therapist and he admits it is a difficult part of my homework for the week.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Yet Draining Day

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an emotionally draining day. I saw my therapist today and our session was emotionally draining. He picked up on the fact I didn’t want to discuss the recent death of a neighbor as dealing with death is difficult for me. Hell, dealing with death is difficult for everyone. Or at least everyone that I know of. We discussed my DBT homework as well. We discussed what behavior I was working on regarding my DBT homework and my therapist liked the idea that I wasn’t waiting for the last minute to do my DBT Homework. He is also going to be assigning me homework but is unsure what he is going assign me as homework and will let me know tomorrow.

Overall, it has been a great day. I got home from therapy and Lil Gertie has been by my side giving me support. I have also been working on one of my workbooks which has been quite helpful with making my day a little bit better. I have also talked with friends and had dinner with two of them. It’s always nice to be able to talk to and/or spend time with friends who care.

I think I am going to be doing some art work. Specifically painting. I will be painting on canvas as well as in one of my scrap books. I love being able to do art work. Art helps me a great deal. It helps me express my emotions on what I am unable to get out verbally.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Check-Ins + Homework = Good Therapist

Good Afternoon, World!!! My therapist checked in with me to see how I am doing after my self harm act last night. He is now putting me on daily check ins as a precaution. They don’t have to be in person but he is concerned about me and rightfully so.

Besides the daily check-ins he will be giving me daily assignments to do. So we will be discussing my assignments in our regular sessions. Which I am planning on doing. One of the assignments he wants me to do is paint a picture of how I am feeling today. He also want me to write a paper on it as well. I like this type of homework.

My therapist wants me to use the skill’s that I do on the normal basis as part of my homework. Like the painting and the writing . I am looking forward to doing this .

Thank  you for reading my weird blog right now. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One-Word Inspiration

Choice

Life is all about choices. Choices that make us who we are today. Some of the choices we have made in life were not all that wise while other choices were wise. I’ve chosen the word choice for my assignment because it is a reminder of the choice’s I have made and will continue to make. We all have choices.

Choices I make today will effect me later on in life. That is why I am attempting to make wise decisions in my life. For example my therapist gave me a “homework assignment” to make a coping skills box and to write a one page paper on how it made me feel making it and why I put what I put in it. I’ve made the box and put some coping items in the box but haven’t written the paper yet. I will write the paper. I am making the choice to do my therapy homework as I know it will help me in the future. A future with hope.

Therapy + Comics = Good Session

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize I already told you little about my session today with my therapist in my last post (https://gertiesjourney.com/2018/04/17/thankfully-not-hospitalized/) but I would like to share a little more about it as I think it helped my therapist build a rapport with me. Besides talking about my parents and their addictions we discussed comics. We discussed comics because I wore a Wonder Woman t-shirt and hat today. I told my therapist that I collect Wonder Woman comics and then we ended up talking about comic book universes. My therapist is more into Marvel and I am more into DC even though we both like a little of both universes. My therapist asked if reading comics was in my crisis plan and something I do end stead of self harming and I said yes to both. We discussed how comics have played a major role in my recovery and he assigned me to read one comic book a day as part of some homework. Another part of my homework he wants me to create a coping skills tool box out of a shoe box even though I more or less have my backpack full of coping skills I use. He even gave me a shoe box to start it. He is having me do this because he knows I enjoy doing art and to help me think about my coping skills. He also wants me to write a page on how making the coping skills box made me feel and what my experience was making it.

I am grateful that my new therapist is coming up with creative ways to help me help myself. I may not like having therapy homework but I am grateful to have it as it gives me an opportunity to grow and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday:

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Workbook
  • Pretty much be lazy

Monday

  • Blog
  • Knitting Group
  • Art Group
  • Therapy
  • Workbook

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Clean apartment
  • Chores
  • Pretty much adulting all day

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Art
  • Read
  • Celebrate birthday
  • Pretty much be lazy due to being my birthday

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Read
  • Workbook

Friday

  • Blog
  • DBT Group
  • Therapy
  • Workbook
  • Art
  • Read
  • DBT homework

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Celebrate birthday with family (a few days late)
  • Workbook
  • Art
  • Read
  • DBT homework

 

No Matter How Difficult; Honesty Is Best

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a long and difficult day for me. I started out the day with seeing my case manager. We had some not so good moments that we ended up working out which is huge progress on my end.

I then went to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Group. Group grew from four individuals to ten people. Lets see how many stick around this time. We of course have homework and I am okay with that. The homework will be quite helpful for me as it will give me the structure I so desperately need.

After group I saw Gilbert. It was a tough session however it was toward the end of the session that was the most difficult. I was honest with him about something I hadn’t been honest with anybody else about. Something that desperately needed to be told and I might share at a later date when I process it more with Gilbert.

Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Therapy + Winter Olympics = Good Self-Care

Good Evening, World!!!  Today, overall has been good with some challenges. Challenges that I will be able deal with, with the help of my mental health treatment team. I saw Gilbert today and we talked about my grandma and the grief I am dealing even though she is still alive. Grief of loosing my grandma and the unknown on when she is going to go.  We also discussed some trauma related stuff. Stuff I never even told Diana. So, I feel like with all the work I did with Diana, I made a lot of progress today with Gilbert as I don’t think it would have been possible even five years ago. Gilbert also gave me some therapy homework. That is to acknowledge one thing I did well today and sit with in for five seconds. So I’m going to do it.

I also went to Art Group today and made a collage. A collage on how I want to view myself. I showed Gilbert my collage. He said that he’s “impressed” my collage from art group and other art I do outside of art group.

Now I am watching the Winter Olympics and enjoying myself. I love the fact that watching the Olympics can be helpful for me and is self care for me. Self-Care that is much need right now as I deal with my grandma being in hospice care as well as sharing some trauma related stuff with Gilbert.

Thanks, very much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Evening Ramblings

Happy Friday, World!!! Overall, today has been a good day. I have had some difficult moments today but who doesn’t from time to time.

Despite having difficult moments today, I made the best of the day. First and fore most I briefly saw my case manager for about fifteen minutes. She wanted to “check-in” with me since I’ve been out of the hospital for a full week now. She gave me some homework. Something I already am doing for the most part however she added something to it. My case manager wants me to do my mindfulness/meditation practice twice a day instead of once a day everyday till I see her again for our regularly scheduled appointment on the 29th of this month. On top of that she would like me to write how I am feeling before and after doing the Calm app which I do for my daily mindfulness. In all honesty, I’m glad she is having me do this. Hopefully, it will help me keep track on how helpful it is for me and how it is helping my mental health symptoms improve.

Something else that has helped me today is that I went to DBT group. I found out this past week that I am finally accepting a skill I highly disliked for the longest time which it being mindful of current thoughts. I actually like doing this skill now especially if I use nature imagery along with it. I was also able to help teach this particular skill in group today.

After I got home, I decided to do some art work. I started of collaging one of the paintings I had finished. I collaged with words and those words created a poem. After finishing up the poem, I then started on another painting.

Now, that I’m done with my art as well as fed, I am blogging. As I sit here blogging, I am figuring out what I’m going to do next. I think I’m going to do my workbook on Queer & Trans resiliency. I’m actually enjoying it even though its quite challenging for me to do at the moment. Anything to help with my recovery and me to accept my gender identity.

Before I go and do my workbook, I want to thank you for reading. I really appreciate you all reading and/or following my blog. Have a great day. Happy Weekend, World!!!