Therapy + Winter Olympics = Good Self-Care

Good Evening, World!!!  Today, overall has been good with some challenges. Challenges that I will be able deal with, with the help of my mental health treatment team. I saw Gilbert today and we talked about my grandma and the grief I am dealing even though she is still alive. Grief of loosing my grandma and the unknown on when she is going to go.  We also discussed some trauma related stuff. Stuff I never even told Diana. So, I feel like with all the work I did with Diana, I made a lot of progress today with Gilbert as I don’t think it would have been possible even five years ago. Gilbert also gave me some therapy homework. That is to acknowledge one thing I did well today and sit with in for five seconds. So I’m going to do it.

I also went to Art Group today and made a collage. A collage on how I want to view myself. I showed Gilbert my collage. He said that he’s “impressed” my collage from art group and other art I do outside of art group.

Now I am watching the Winter Olympics and enjoying myself. I love the fact that watching the Olympics can be helpful for me and is self care for me. Self-Care that is much need right now as I deal with my grandma being in hospice care as well as sharing some trauma related stuff with Gilbert.

Thanks, very much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Evening Ramblings

Happy Friday, World!!! Overall, today has been a good day. I have had some difficult moments today but who doesn’t from time to time.

Despite having difficult moments today, I made the best of the day. First and fore most I briefly saw my case manager for about fifteen minutes. She wanted to “check-in” with me since I’ve been out of the hospital for a full week now. She gave me some homework. Something I already am doing for the most part however she added something to it. My case manager wants me to do my mindfulness/meditation practice twice a day instead of once a day everyday till I see her again for our regularly scheduled appointment on the 29th of this month. On top of that she would like me to write how I am feeling before and after doing the Calm app which I do for my daily mindfulness. In all honesty, I’m glad she is having me do this. Hopefully, it will help me keep track on how helpful it is for me and how it is helping my mental health symptoms improve.

Something else that has helped me today is that I went to DBT group. I found out this past week that I am finally accepting a skill I highly disliked for the longest time which it being mindful of current thoughts. I actually like doing this skill now especially if I use nature imagery along with it. I was also able to help teach this particular skill in group today.

After I got home, I decided to do some art work. I started of collaging one of the paintings I had finished. I collaged with words and those words created a poem. After finishing up the poem, I then started on another painting.

Now, that I’m done with my art as well as fed, I am blogging. As I sit here blogging, I am figuring out what I’m going to do next. I think I’m going to do my workbook on Queer & Trans resiliency. I’m actually enjoying it even though its quite challenging for me to do at the moment. Anything to help with my recovery and me to accept my gender identity.

Before I go and do my workbook, I want to thank you for reading. I really appreciate you all reading and/or following my blog. Have a great day. Happy Weekend, World!!!

Poor Air Quality + Therapy = Challenging Day

Good Evening, World!!! Today, hasn’t been the easiest of days for me but overall its been a good day. I have two main reasons why it hasn’t been the easiest of days and plan telling you about it in this post.

Let’s start with what is hitting close to home for a lot of folks here in the Seattle area; the air quality. Or maybe I should say poor air quality. The air quality is the worst I’ve personally experienced here in Seattle. I’ve had personally experienced worse air quality due to the fact I spent the majority of my childhood in Southern California however today was bad even for California standards. The poor air quality is due to the wild fires from across the state.

The wild fire smoke is so bad here in Seattle that many across the city have experienced their first time seeing it “rain ash” instead of actual water. It is an eerie experience seeing “rain ash” here in Seattle. I’ve experienced it before when I when I grew up in California but never here in Seattle. The picture below is suppose to be looking south at Downtown Seattle but you can’t see it because of all the smoke and ash in the air. On a clear day you would be able to see Downtown Seattle. I wish I had a picture to show a comparison however I don’t. So, I guess you’re going to have to take my word on that you can see Downtown Seattle from this vantage point. No, its not the usual “Seattle Gloom.” Yes, it is all ash and smoke from the wild fires from the wild fires.

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As difficult as it was for me with my breathing due to asthma because of the poor air quality, therapy was just as difficult for me. See, at my request from my last session my therapist and I discussed today about the Self-Soothing skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). The Self-Soothe skill is not an easy skill for me. In fact its one of two skills that aren’t second nature to me yet in regards to DBT skills. In fact its the skill I find the most difficult to do at the moment. Actually, its the skill I have found most difficult for me to do throughout my experience with DBT.

While my (relatively) new therapist and I discussed the self-soothing skill, it brought up a lot of other shit. Shit I don’t necessarily want to discuss on my blog or even am ready to discuss on it but shit that was difficult to talk to my therapist about. While discussing all the shit, my therapist decided to give me homework. My homework is to come up with five to ten affirmations. She let me set the number of affirmations I could write and I chose five to ten because I sort of wanted to challenge myself. Little did I know that this was going be an on going assignment. My therapist informed me that there is a second part to this assignment however I won’t get the second part of the assignment till our next session in two weeks. In all honesty, I’m not a big fan of homework as part of therapy but I have found it quite helpful to me. Therapy homework has helped me with my recovery which is why I attempt to not complain about it much.

I have found throughout the years that many of the “assignments” that I have received from therapist its to help me. Most of the assignments have ultimately helped me. I’ve had a handful that haven’t helped but that’s because I wasn’t exactly in the right space to have them assigned to me at that time. I do have to say that this assignment of having to write five to ten affirmations will help me. I might even share them with you when I am done with them. It won’t be easy for me to do but am looking forward to doing the assignment.

I’m looking at the time and realize that I’m a little hungry and am needing to eat. I also looked at how much I have written thus far and realize it might be getting a bit long for some of you. So, this is the point of my blog post to tell you, thank you for reading. I am truly grateful that you read my blog. Peace Out!!!