Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Plans in Regards to My Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I know I posted about two hours ago regarding my cat, Lil Gertie however I wanted to let you know what plans are for my blog for the next year. In fact it is one of my goals for this coming up year, 2020. One of my goals for the New Year is to blog an average of three times a week. I say average because some weeks, I will most likely only blog once or twice a week and other weeks I probably will blog everyday of the week. One way I plan on accomplishing this goal is to start doing my weekly plans on Sundays and on Saturdays to do weekly check-ins. I realize Saturdays might be challenging due to sleeping all day and working all night but I know if I schedule it in I will be able to do accomplish this. I am planning on doing this in hopes to keep you my reader engaged with continuing to reading and/or following my blog. So starting tomorrow, Saturday I will be doing weekly check-ins and starting on Sunday I will be doing weekly plans.

I do not have much more to say in regards this topic. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Cat, Lil Gertie

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am really missing my cat, Lil Gertie. Friday evenings as well as Friday nights are quite challenging for me when it comes to missing Lil Gertie. It is challenging for me because I am so use to staying up all night on Fridays and having her snuggle with me as I read or watching something on a streaming site so I could sleep all day on Saturday due to work on Saturday nights. Cuddling with Lil Gertie helped a great me a great deal with my anxiety and PTSD which ultimately helped me with not stressing about work or other daily activities. Another time that is challenging for me is when I come home from work on Sunday mornings and having Lil Gertie greet me at the door. I miss my time with her and I realize that to grieve mean that I loved and loved with all my heart.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday evening. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Goals for 2020

Posted on by Gertie

Happy New Years, World!!! This is the time of year where many people make resolutions for the New Year. I, however don’t make resolutions. I make goals. I make goals as I tend to keep them as well as they can be made at anytime of the year. I just wanted to share with you my goals for the upcoming year. It is my hope to be held accountable to you my reader by posting my goals with you fine folks.

~Attend appointments with mental health treatment team as well as groups on the regular basis. (I already do this however when things get bad I tend to isolate and avoid life like the plague. No, I am not expecting things to start going bad with my mental health symptoms.)

~Blog an average of three times a week. (I have found since I started blogging that it is quite helpful for me. I hope that blogging an average of three times a week will help you my reader stay engaged.)

~Read six books. (Last year it was my goal to read twelve books and I only read one. So I am making the goal a little more reachable.)

~Start and complete two recovery focused workbooks. (It is my hope that starting and completing two workbooks will help me with my recovery.)

~Get a job that is not night shift. (I have realized that working night shift is not for me especially since I have insomnia and need a regular sleep schedule.)

~Start volunteering with cats at a local animal shelter. (Hell, I have already started this process and my first shift is January 7th. In fact it will be where I adopted Lil Gertie and am looking forward to it.)

I have a few more goals but they are a little bit more private. I hope that you all can hold me accountable to the goals I mentioned above. You guys are all amazing and awesome.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years. Happy New Years, World!!!

Goodbye, 2019

Posted on by Gertie

Happy New Years Eve, World!!! This year has been a year of ups and downs. Mainly a year of ups and a great deal of growth within my mental health recovery. I owe a lot of my growth to my last therapist and my cat, Lil Gertie. Sadly, my last therapist went on paternity leave and when he comes back his job duties will be changing which means I just got a new therapist. My new therapist seems nice enough but I have only had two sessions with him.

As I mentioned, I also owe some major improvements in my recovery to my cat, Lil Gertie. She helped me a great deal. She helped me learn how to love. Lil Gertie not only helped me to love others but to love myself. I think if it wasn’t for Lil Gertie, there would have been some moments, specifically in 2018, I would have tried to take my own life. Thankfully, my love for her is what helped me. The best part of this year was bringing in the New Year with Lil Gertie. The worst part of this year was having to say goodbye to her on Thanksgiving Day evening. Having to say goodbye to your best friend is never easy. The grief of loosing a pet hurts and hurts like hell. If it wasn’t for the grief I have dealt with loosing Lil Gertie, I don’t think I would have come to the conclusion of what grief is all about. Its about realizing that you loved and loved with all your heart.

Bringing in 2020 and saying goodbye to 2019 is bittersweet. It’s bittersweet that I brought it in with my best friend, my cat, Lil Gertie, and won’t be saying goodbye to 2019 with Lil Gertie in it. However, if it wasn’t for adopting in Lil Gertie in 2018, I don’t think I would have ever even considered volunteering at an animal shelter. In fact I am now officially a volunteer where I adopted Lil Gertie at. My first official shift where I adopted Lil Gertie at is on January 7th. So, in essence I will be honoring Lil Gertie by starting off the New Year helping people and families find their perfect cat for their family.

I do not have much to say except that I am forever grateful for Lil Gertie and the hope she has given me for my future. I want to thank all of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve and an awesome 2020 ahead of them. Please drive safely and get home to your families in one piece. Happy New Years, World!!!

A Workplace Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this, I am at work. I have three and hours left of my shift. I enjoy my job for the most part. I am not a big fan of a twelve and a hour night shift but at least it is in the social service field which is something I enjoy. At this point in time I am looking for another job because working the night shift isn’t exactly the best for me or my mental health because of my sleep cycle being out of wack.

My sleep already is out of wack due to having insomnia. Actually, my psychiatric nurse practitioner things it would a good idea to have a job that is not a night shift. The reason she says this is because of my “treatment resistant insomnia.” I am great she has my back this but she also agrees that work is good for my mental health and recovery.

Something I do at work to pass the time away when there is nothing to for a few hours is art work. Specifically, I color. In fact when the young adults I work with are unable to sleep they like to color with me. They appear to enjoy it.

Well, I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Cat, Lil Gertie

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a week and one day since my cat, Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge. It hasn’t been an eight days but I have received a great deal of support from my friends. I have amazing friends and have received many sympathy cards from them. Speaking of sympathy cards, Lil Gertie’s vet sent one even though she was not the vet who helped Lil Gertie cross over the rainbow bridge. She not only received an email from me but Lil Gertie’s records from the emergency vet.

I just wish it wasn’t so difficult but I am grateful she was in my life. Lil Gertie has helped me a great deal with my recovery and I am forever grateful to her for that. I will never forget her. To honor her in this post I will include one of my favorite pictures of her below. It shows how expressive she was. The picture is below:

o

In honor of Lil Gertie. This picture is one of my favorite and is a prime example of her many facial expressions.

Now, that I have honored my beloved cat, Lil Gertie, I am going to finish this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. I greatly appreciated each one of you for reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

The Post I’ve Been Dreading to Write

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have been dreading about writing this post for the last week as it is sad and devastating news or at least it is devastating for me. As many of you may know if you read a post a few months ago that my cat, Lil Gertie, was diagnosed with cancer. I knew there was a chance of helping her cross the rainbow bridge but I didn’t think it would be so soon. See, on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday, November 28th, 2019) evening Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge.

Like most everyone else across the United States I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. I went and spent the day with family. When I arrived back home Thanksgiving Day evening, I noticed Lil Gertie walking funny, with her head tilted and walking into things. I quickly realized I would need to take her to the emergency vet and most likely have to say goodbye. Before taking her to the emergency vet, I decided to feed her some turkey which she gobbled down and that made my heart happy.

The happy heart didn’t last very long as I knew what the reality was so I took her to the emergency vet. The emergency vet did in fact confirm that it was Lil Gertie’s time to cross the rainbow bridge. Sadly, while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family Lil Gertie had a small stroke. Due to the stroke both of Lil Gertie’s retina’s detached which is why she was walking into things. Since she was unable to see, plus the stroke and cancer I knew I couldn’t bear to see Lil Gertie struggle, I knew it was time to let her go and cross the rainbow bridge. I was able to be with Lil Gertie as she crossed over with the help of the vet. I miss my cat so very much.

I did decide that I wanted Lil Gertie’s ashes and will be getting them in a couple of weeks along with a paw print and clump of her fur. The emergency vet also let Lil Gertie’s regular vet know. Lil Gertie’s vet reached out to me the past Monday (December 2nd) when she returned to the office after the holiday weekend. Lil Gertie’s vet was and is extremely empathetic and compassionate. She even sent me a sympathy card which I received yesterday (Tuesday) in the mail. Part of the reason I decided to keep Lil Gertie’s ashes as I know it will help with my healing process.

Speaking of the healing process I think that is why I waited so long to write this post. Yes, I realize tomorrow will mark a week since Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge but it just stung too much. Hell, it still stings like hell.

As people in my life have been finding out about Lil Gertie and many know she was an Emotional Support Animal (ESA), I have been asked if I am going to get another cat. The answer is, YES but I am going to wait till after the holidays for many reasons. One of which is I want to give myself some time to grieve. I wish I had more time with Lil Gertie because I only had her for 1 1/2 years and she was only 7 1/2 years old but I know she accomplished what she needed to accomplish here on earth and it was her time to go.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. I hope to post pictures of Lil Gertie in a later post. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope you all have a great holiday season. Peace Out, World!!!

Traditions & The Holidays

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am not sure how to feel at the moment as I have many emotions that are swarming around. Some emotions I am dealing with are not all the pleasant and really wanting to avoid them while other emotions more pleasant and obviously more willing to not avoid them. This is the time of year where things don’t go so well for me in regards to my mental health challenges. Specifically, my depression and PTSD. Thankfully, I have plenty of ways to take care of myself this time of year.

One of the things that was suggested to me early on in my recovery during the holidays was to start my own traditions that I can do with or without people. The only thing I could think of at the time was the two comic books that I had; Christmas with the Superhero’s, Volumes One and Two. So, every year, starting the day after Thanksgiving, I read those two comic books several times during the holiday season. On Christmas Day I read both twice.

Another tradition I started about eight or so years ago was to do a holiday themed jigsaw puzzle. I usually start the puzzle on November 25th or Thanksgiving Day, whichever arrives first. I have several holiday themed jigsaw puzzles I do and sometimes I am able to do two or three depending on the size while other years I only complete one. The one I am doing this year is a thousand pieces and I know from experience that it most likely will be the only holiday puzzle I do this year due to the size. The best part of this tradition is I get to see the “fruits” of my labor by the time Christmas arrives and enjoy it till January 2nd. Of course when I do several smaller holiday puzzles in a holiday season I see more than just one accomplished puzzle. Being able to see an accomplished puzzle helps with my personal morale for the season.

Even though the two traditions I mentioned already have been great traditions to keep and will continue to keep, I decided to add a new tradition this year. That tradition is to do some art. Specifically, coloring a holiday poster or two depending on size and detail. I have decided this tradition will be like the puzzles and start on November 25th or Thanksgiving, whichever arrives first. I have started coloring a holiday poster as of yesterday (November 25th). I am positive I will have at least one accomplished by Christmas Day.

For me starting my own holiday traditions has been a lifesaver for me and my recovery. The reason being is because most of the other holidays traditions I follow through with has some form of trauma or sadness tied to them and needed some that didn’t have either. Most of the other traditions I do includes family as my family is big on traditions. The holidays are not the best time of year for me due to the trauma I have experienced around the holidays so having traditions of my own helps me redefine what the holidays are for me.

I could go on and on about traditions however I won’t as I am getting a little sleepy and plan on going to bed. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good night of sleep ahead of them if it is nighttime for you. If not I hope you have a good day ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Sad & Trying to Not Overreact or Be a Drama Queen

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am having very uncomfortable emotions right now in regards to my cat. I am fearful, sad and pretty high anxiety right now. She is not acting like her usual self and not really eating her wet food but at least she is drinking water and nibbling at her dry food. She is also using the litter box. She is a little more lethargic the last two days and it starting to scare me because of lump that is cancerous. Plan is to watch her the next few days and take her to the vet on Tuesday even if she starts getting better because I just want to make sure everything is as okay as it can be health wise with a cancerous lump. I just don’t want put her down but I don’t want her to suffer either. I just love her so much. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Lil Gertie is a special cat for me. She is my emotional support animal (ESA). I thought I would be rescuing her but she did the rescuing of me. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. Lil Gertie was meant for me and I don’t want to loose her too soon but I don’t want her suffer

Like I told you I plan on taking her to my regular vet on Tuesday and get her opinion. Dr. B, the vet Lil Gertie goes to. Dr. B is an amazing vet and tells you like it is in an empathetic and compassionate way. Dr. B really care for the animals she treats as well as the humans. Dr. B is amazing.

I don’t know what else to write due to not wanting to crying. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging in Pain While Being Mindful

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here typing primarily with one hand and it is quite challenging. Long story short last Friday, (November 8th), I injured my hand and wrist. I tripped over my poor cat, Lil Gertie. Thankfully, my cat, Lil Gertie, is just fine and being her usual self. Sadly, I am the one who got injured but am beyond grateful that Lil Gertie was not injured. Like I mentioned at the beginning I injured my wrist and hand. I went to the Emergency Room (ER) and got it x-rayed and unfortunately it was too swollen to notice any type of broken bone or fracture. Both the resident and attending believe I could have some form of fracture which is why they put my wrist a supportive type thing I can take on and off but want me to keep it on till I am able to get it re-x-rayed which is going to happen this Friday (November 15th). If it is fractured I will get a cast if not I will continue wearing what I have and go to physical therapy. They put me on some pretty powerful pain meds. I am not taking them as often as my doctor would like because I fear of getting addicted but my doctor is grateful that I am taking them with the help of other things. For instance I am also taking over the counter (otc) meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen as well as icing my wrist and doing some mindfulness and mediation. I may be in a pain but at least I am able to get through it.

As I mentioned one of the ways I am helping with the pain is doing some mindfulness and meditation. I am primarily using the Calm App to do this. I have found that the Calm App to be quite helpful. The primary narrator is Tamara Levitt. She has en extremely calming voice.  The Calm App is a free app and you can also subscribe to it annually to receive more mindfulness techniques which is something I have done. I really enjoy doing mindfulness meditation now. I have found it quite helpful for my recovery with my mental health challenges as well as with my health. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to take time out of your day to do mindfulness and/or meditation but it helps start the day off right as well as to end the day off right. I schedule to do it twice a day and try to make an effort to do it more than twice daily.

Something else I have been doing lately beside mindfulness meditation is art. The type of art I have specifically been doing is painting. I have been painting some abstracts that are looking pretty cool. It is something I can do with my good hand and wrist. Painting and other type of art help me a great deal with letting out emotions I am unable to speak which is essence helps me with my recovery.

I don’t have much else to say and am in physical pain so I will end this post. I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. In fact I hope everyone has a great rest of their week. Peace Out, World!!!