Tag Archives: Recovery

Happy Independence Day

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Fourth of July, America (and World)!!! Today is Independence Day here in the United States of America. Since it is Independence Day here in the United States which is fondly called the Fourth of July, many people are spending it by celebrating.

For me, celebrating the fourth isn’t what it use to be. Mainly because I worked retail for ten years and I feel like it is too commercialized. Don’t get me wrong I still celebrate it but not like the way I use to especially as a child. Today, I went to a barbecue a friend put on around lunch time. I enjoyed being surrounded by friends and eating food with them for lunch. I was invited to stay but I declined as I had made other plans with some of my neighbors. Neighbors that have become friends. In fact a couple of these neighbors are barbecuing dinner as I write this blog post. I donated meat for this barbecue. After eating we are going to play some board games and then go to the roof of our building to watch the fireworks.

As far as the fireworks go, I don’t think my cat, Lil Gertie, will react to them as she seemed pretty chill last night when someone was light off fireworks in front of our building. I love my cat so much and if I think she would react I would give her some of her anxiety meds. I am grateful that I have had pets throughout my life that didn’t seem to be affected by fireworks. I do know that many pets have issues with the noise as well as the brightness of fireworks. As far as my pet cat, Lil Gertie, I am preparing a “safe place” for her as a precaution. Her safe place is usually my bedroom and bathroom with treats and her favorite toys.

I don’t have much more to say. I should really go and help my neighbors with the barbecue. I want to thank you all for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has great day and for those who live in the United States, please enjoy your Fourth of July and stay safe. Again, thank you for reading my blog. You are all awesome in my eyes. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Wednesday Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling at the moment with writing my resignation letter for work. I am not sure why I am struggling with writing it as I have written one before. I am think I am struggling with it because I have some pretty awesome colleagues, a supervisor that is extremely supportive and I do enjoy what I do. The main reason I am resigning is because its an on-call position that is a twelve hour over night shift. I think if I had a regular schedule that the twelve hour night shift wouldn’t be so bad. The job schedule is affecting my mental health and that is not a good thing for me.

As much as I am dreading writing my resignation letter for work, I am looking forward to the free blogging courses I will be taking through WordPress. I signed up for three courses and have taken all three of them before. The courses I signed up for are Finding Everyday Inspiration, which is a twenty day course, Developing Your Eye 1 which is a ten day course and Intro to Poetry which is a ten day course. I am not sure if I am going do them consecutively or at the same time. I’m thinking I will do Finding Everyday Inspiration as I do one of the other courses at the same time and when finished with one I’ll do the other since two of them are ten days each. But at this point in time I am not exactly sure how I am going to work the courses.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It appears that I am Sleepless in Seattle. I really hate not being able to sleep. Being able to sleep would be nice and sadly the medicine I am taking is not helping. I don’t think the Ambien is taking effect yet because I don’t think I am acting goofy at the moment. I just want to go to sleep and have a good night of sleep but sometimes all I get is Sleepless in Seattle. Oh well. At least I know I am not the only one Sleepless in Seattle.

I think I am going to get going. I am going to go try to get some sleep. I hope everyone has a good day. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Monday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post today was and still is a day for me do good self care. So far doing good self care has been challenging to do however it is something that continues to be accomplished. The most challenging of the self care acts was that of taking a shower. Not sure why it has been the most challenging but it was. I did take a shower shortly after my last post and am grateful that I accomplished it.

As accomplished as I feel taking a shower, I feel just as accomplished with the other things I have done today. In fact, I did a great deal of walking today and feel proud that I walked as much as I did today. In fact all the walking I did today led me to walking to a park and enjoying myself there.

When I was at the park, I was there for about an hour and a half. I just sat there enjoying the beauty of the park as well as read. I read some comic books. In fact the comic books I read today at the park were Wonder Woman. If you have been reading my blog for awhile you are well aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I have been a Wonder Woman fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into Wonder Woman and I greatly appreciate him for that.

Since returning home from the park, I decided to listen to a podcast about mythology. In fact if it wasn’t for being a big fan of Wonder Woman, I don’t think I would be interested in learning about mythology. After each episode of the podcast about mythology, I go online and look up what was discussed so I am educating myself even more on the subject of mythology.

As I listened to the podcast on mythology, I did some art. Specifically, the art that I did was color. I love to color for a multitude of reasons. One of which is that it is a type of mindfulness practice for me. I am coloring a poster and hope to finish it to give to my therapist. For me giving people finished coloring projects is gratifying.

I don’t have much else to say and really should get going to I can get me something to eat for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Monday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is yet another Monday and I am wishing I had a job that had a “normal” work schedule but thankfully, I don’t have to work tonight. I do however have a two hour work meeting tomorrow (Tuesday) evening. I enjoy what I do for work, I just don’t like the fact it is an on call job working a twelve hour overnight shift. It is not conducive for someone like me who has “treatment resistant insomnia.” Sadly, I will be putting in my two weeks notice in the next week or two.

As far as writing my resignation letter, I am not going to do that today. I will be laying low and doing things to help me not isolate yet have some “me time” or some good self care time. First and fore most I need to take a much needed shower. The last time I took a shower was last Thursday morning so I am not smelling all that good. You know you smell bad when you can smell yourself and it doesn’t smell all that pretty. I am surprised my cat still wants to sit on my lap and be petted.

Another thing I plan on doing is to go walking. I plan on going on multiple walks as it is a beautiful day outside. As I walk I plan on just taking in the sunshine and enjoying the moment. So, I guess I will be doing mindful walking.

I, of course will be listening to podcast. The subjects I have been listening to over the weekend and most interested in at the moment are philosophy and mythology. I don’t know how I got interested in philosophy but I know how I got interested in mythology. I got interested in mythology due to the fact that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Wonder Woman’s roots goes back into mythology. If it wasn’t for my love of Wonder Woman I don’t think I would have been interested in mythology. In fact someone told me that philosophy and mythology can go hand in hand and to a degree I agree with that but they are also two very different subjects.

I do not have much more to say except that I hope to educate you on what I have learned from the podcast and from looking up the information online. I also want to thank you for reading my blog as it greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good work week everyone. I also hope you all have a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Depressive Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I woke up this morning to it being sunny outside yet extremely depressed. So depressed that I have been isolating all day which is not a good thing for me. Isolation tends to makes me more depressed. Being depressed sucks shit.

Even though I have been depressed all day and haven’t felt like doing shit, I have done something. I have managed to make some progress on the poster I am coloring which makes me quite happy. Coloring is a type of mindfulness exercise for me.

As I colored I listened to podcast. I listened to a podcast on philosophy and found another podcast that I started listening to on mythology. Mythology is a topic I enjoy as Wonder Woman background is in mythology. So throughout the day I would switch back and forth to a philosophy podcast to a mythology podcast. Being able to switch up topics is a good thing especially as I color.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a wonderful rest of your evening as well as your weekend. Peace Out, World

So Far, It’s Not A Good Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am not having a very good Friday due to the fact that my depression and anxiety symptoms are acting up and I am getting easily angered. Specifically, I am getting easily angered at myself. I am getting easily angered at myself because I feel like I am not handling the symptoms of my anxiety and depression as well as I think I should be handling them. The reality of the situation is that I am handling the symptoms better than I think I am because I am not making the situation worse and am making a life worth living for myself.

The thing I have come to realize over the years, I tend to get angry with myself due to my mental health symptoms even when I am reacting to them in a positive way like building a life worth living. Even if people may not think I am building a life worth living with the things I am currently doing, I am building a life worth living because I am educating myself as well as being creative through art.

The way I am educating myself is listening to a podcast on Spotify about philosophy and after each episode, I research what the podcaster discusses. In fact the podcast on philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” Stephen West is the person that does “Philosophize This” and I personally think he does a great job. He captures my attention which is a good thing because of being diagnosed with ADHD and me wanting to educate myself further on what he discusses in each episode. For me willing to educate myself on a particular subject and/or topic due to how someone conveys the particular subject (and topic) says something about the person discussing it. When a friend of mine suggested that I listen to “Philosophize This,” I was hesitant at first but when I listened to the first episode Stephen West had me wanting to learn more due to his approach on the subject of philosophy. It is because of Stephen West passion for the subject of philosophy is why I am self educating myself.

As I listen to “Philosophize This” I am being creative by doing art which is another way I am creating a life worth living. The particular form of art I am doing as I am listening to the podcast is coloring. I am coloring a poster to give to my therapist to hang in his office. I realize that coloring may not be what most people consider a life worth living but for me if I can color something for others to enjoy, its a life worth living because others are able to enjoy what I created.

Even though I am coloring and listening to “Philosophize This,” I am still struggling and not having a good Friday. I wish the symptoms of my depression and anxiety would subside but sadly they are not which is why I am getting angry with myself. Being angry is never a good thing for me but if I continue doing good things for myself like listening to “Philosophize This” and coloring then I am able to control my anger. Being able to control the anger is a good thing.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome Friday. I also hope you all have an awesome weekend. I hope you all enjoy the next couple of days. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post With Me Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in the afternoon in my corner of the world and I have been struggling since I woke up at five this morning. I have been struggling with several symptoms of my mental health challenges. I wish I wasn’t struggling with symptoms but sadly I am.

As badly as I am struggling at the moment and against my better judgement, I watched the twelve noon news. I say against my better judgement because there tends to be at least one story that triggers me. In fact there were two stories that triggered me in the noon news and it appears that it is the topic of politics that tends to be triggering for me at the moment. At least I am realizing what is triggering for me.

Lets get on to a different topic other than the news and politics as I am getting triggered even discussing it in this post. Yesterday, I had both therapy and group therapy. Specifically, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). In therapy my therapist and I discussed the DBT skills that I am struggling with doing due to barriers that get in the way. Even though we discussed the DBT skills I struggled with, we mainly talked about the barriers I struggle with. Sadly, some of the barriers are trauma related and we will need to continue to discuss these particular barriers in future sessions. After my session with my therapist I went to group therapy that happened to be DBT group. The topic of DBT group happened to be barriers that get in the way of using skills. When I found out the topic of DBT group I had to chuckle to myself because of what therapist and I discussed in my session with him.

Anyway, back to today and waking up struggling. I was struggling bad enough that the only thing I could do in the moment of waking up was pet my cat. My cat just laid next to me in my chair purring as I petted her. I ended up petting my cat close to a half an hour and during that half an hour petting my cat, I realize what I needed to do and ended up doing the entire morning before turning on the twelve noon news.

The things I ended up doing was art work and listening to a podcast as I did art work. The type of art work I ended up doing was coloring. I am coloring a poster in hopes to give it my therapist. As I colored the poster I listened to a podcast on philosophy. The specific podcast about philosophy I am listening to is called “Philosophize This” and am learning a great deal about philosophy. I highly recommend listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” for several reasons which I will share with you another time.

I say I will share with you another time in why I recommend “Philosophize This” is because I need to end this particular blog post so I can get going and eat something. I realized I haven’t eaten yet today which is not a good thing. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Friday as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans for the Evening

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have a relatively good day. I went and got my dentures adjusted and found out that I will get my permanent in late August, early September. I, then went to a group and saw my employment (vocational) specialist. After that I spent some time with friends which is always a good thing especially since I have been isolating a great deal as of lately. Spending time with my friends today was much needed and plans with another friend for next Friday (July 5th). Having people in corner to be of support is awesome.

Now that I am home and have nothing planned for the rest of the day, I am thinking that I will do some art. Actually, I plan on coloring as there is a big coloring picture that I started in late 2016 and haven’t finished yet because every time I restart it something always happens to where I stop coloring. See this coloring poster has an awesome saying on it and it reminds me of something a therapist would say. I started it originally thinking once it is finished that I would give it my therapist at the time, Dianna but sadly she had to unexpectedly quit due to a cancer diagnosis. Every time I have started coloring the picture again in hopes to give it the therapist I have at the moment something happens to where that person is no longer my therapist. So I think I am going to start coloring it again in hopes to give it to my current therapist and if for some reason he can’t be my therapist anymore I will hold on to it and give it to someone who has helped me. I love to color for many reasons and plan on coloring this evening.

As I color I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy. I find the subject fascinating and love learning about it and how it has shaped history and our ways of thinking. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” on Spotify. I am learning a great deal from Stephen West about philosophy. In fact the topics and people he discusses I end up looking up and learning even more. To me listening to this podcast is helping me with finding out things I might not have educated myself on. I really find philosophy interesting and enjoy learning about it.

I do not have much more to discuss with you at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. I hope everyone has good rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s 7:11 AM & It’s Time for a Slurpee from 7Eleven

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Like I mentioned in my last post, I didn’t sleep all that well last night but I did get some sleep. I wish I was able to get more consistent sleep and being able to sleep longer than four hours. Having insomnia sucks but hopefully a sleep specialist will be able to help when I see one at the end of July.

Well, it is 7:11 in the morning and guess what time it is. It is time for a Slurpee from 7-Eleven. I love Slurpee’s and the junk food I get from 7-Eleven. To me 7-Eleven is like me being a kid in a candy store. I miss some of the ole school candy they use to sell but don’t do anymore. When I went to 7-Eleven I got my Cherry flavored Slurpee as well as Bar-Be-Que chips, Sour Cream and Onion chips, a butt load of candy and three cherry Pepsi’s. So I got a bunch of junk food for breakfast even though I won’t eat all in one setting.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank everyone for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good day and rest of their work week. Peace Out, World!!!