Tag Archives: Trauma

May the Fourth Be With You

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning from a nightmare. A nightmare that is a symptom of PTSD. Dealing with childhood drama as an adult is difficult to do but it is possible to lessen the pain with a lot of therapy.

I may have woken up from a nightmare but I got about six hours of sleep. I owe the amount of sleep due my new weight blanket. I am in love with the weighted blanket.

Today is May 4th and is a day Star Wars fans celebrate here in the United States. May the Fourth be with you represents May the force be with you from Star Wars. I love Star Wars.

Thank you for reading. May the fourth be with you. Peace Out, World!!!

Looks Like No Sleep For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am having trouble sleeping once again. Which is no surprise to me. I suspect that recent trauma as well as insomnia are the culprits once again.

It looks like I will be doing what works best for me to help with the anxiety I deal with when I am unable to sleep.  Tonight I think I’ll read. I am not sure if I’ll be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb or Wonder Woman comic books. I’m most likely going to end up reading both.

Another thing I am most likely going to do if I have yet another sleepless night is my workbooks. Most likely the mindfulness workbook as I did my other workbook last night. Mindfulness has been quite helpful for me and my recovery.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Oh So Elusive Thing Called Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Once again I am having another night of what looks like of no sleep. Sleep is a major part of my recovery and to living everyday life. I guess that I am getting frustrated that I am not being able to sleep. Sleep is key for me to be stable.

Stable to where I can function as a productive member of society. Society that expects people like myself to work. Hell, I expect me to work because I know I am able to do so however my symptoms are getting the fucking what of being a functioning adult.

Now that I am done venting, I am going to attempt to get some sleep. Thank you so much for reading. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am wanting to blog right now but having some issues at the moment. Part of it is genuine writers block while the other part is due to mental health symptoms. Symptoms that are quite bothersome and annoying as hell.

I did see Gilbert today. We discussed the recent trauma I experienced. We also discussed the art work I did in Art Group today. He really likes the fact that art helps me open up about stuff that I need to discuss to help me with my recovery.

For me finding way to help me with my recovery is quite important to me. That’s why I am grateful that Gilbert is invested in my recovery. I think he is more so at the moment than I am but that is okay with me for now.

Thanks for reading. It’s much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Thin Mints Washing Away My Sorrows

Posted on by Gertie

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Good Evening, World!!! It has been one of them days. No matter what I do, I gain a little ground and then trip over the other shoe that finally dropped. Even though, I am struggling at this particular moment in time, I remember the things that give me hope like what I mentioned in my previous post.

I might be dealing with grief and loss from my grandma’s death as well as a trauma but I’m not harming myself which is a good thing. No, I don’t have urges to self harm but what I’m saying is that with the recent difficulties I am dealing with is that I could have some mental health symptoms that are more difficult than others to deal with.

Right now, I am eating a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. It is quite soothing for me to treat myself to Thin Mints. Girl Scout cookies are only sold for a limited time once a year.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t had the best of weeks. I’m just briefly checking in for the moment as I’m having a slightly rough go at it. I didn’t get much sleep again last night except it wasn’t because of insomnia. It was because I experienced yet another trauma. A trauma that I most likely will not discuss with you or at least in the current future.

I think I am going to work on my mindfulness workbook to help me get back into the right state of mind. Something else that will be helpful is to look over my DBT homework that I did last night and isn’t due to Friday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

Dear Abuser,

Normally this where I tell you hi and ask how you are doing however you don’t deserve that type of greeting. This the point in the greeting I tell you how I am doing. I’m angry.

Angry with the fact of the shit I had to endure at your hands and the hands of others. Others that had paid you for me. I am a person, not a commodity. Humans are not merchandise. We are to be respected and not sold.

I was only nine when you raped me for the first time. You ruined my childhood. Do you realize the shit I deal with on the daily basis because of you. The shit you did to me interferes with my sleep, eating, love life and other daily stuff people take for granted. You took that away from me.

You are an asshole and you don’t even deserve this acknowledgement.

Gertie

Still Can’t Get Back To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning (again), World!!! I am still up from waking up from a shitty ass nightmare. A nightmare that is still haunting me three and half hours later.

Something I’ve been doing the last three and half hours is art. I have been painting as well as collaging. I love doing both. I have been collaging some poems and am loving combining poetry and art together.

I think what I a going to do after I am done blogging is read. Not sure if I am going to be reading a book, text book or comic book but I think I’ll most likely going to be reading a Wonder Woman comic book. Wonder Woman is my favorite comic book character.

I think I am going to get going and read some Wonder Woman. Have a wonderful morning. Peace Out, World!!!

12 Midnight (exactly), Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I was able to fall asleep since my last post but unfortunately I woke up from a stupid ass nightmare. A nightmare about what I told Gilbert in our session today.

Trauma sucks shit and wish I didn’t have to deal with however I do. Something that helps me express my emotions what I am unable to process them is art. I am going to be painting and collaging as I listen to music. Music speaks when words fail.

Have a great night and peace out, world!!!

Therapy + Winter Olympics = Good Self-Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!  Today, overall has been good with some challenges. Challenges that I will be able deal with, with the help of my mental health treatment team. I saw Gilbert today and we talked about my grandma and the grief I am dealing even though she is still alive. Grief of loosing my grandma and the unknown on when she is going to go.  We also discussed some trauma related stuff. Stuff I never even told Diana. So, I feel like with all the work I did with Diana, I made a lot of progress today with Gilbert as I don’t think it would have been possible even five years ago. Gilbert also gave me some therapy homework. That is to acknowledge one thing I did well today and sit with in for five seconds. So I’m going to do it.

I also went to Art Group today and made a collage. A collage on how I want to view myself. I showed Gilbert my collage. He said that he’s “impressed” my collage from art group and other art I do outside of art group.

Now I am watching the Winter Olympics and enjoying myself. I love the fact that watching the Olympics can be helpful for me and is self care for me. Self-Care that is much need right now as I deal with my grandma being in hospice care as well as sharing some trauma related stuff with Gilbert.

Thanks, very much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!