Tag Archives: Art

Being Angery in Grief While Doing Self Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am angry. I am angry that I am still grieving over my grandma almost four years ago as well as grieving the two year anniversary of my last cat, Lil Gertie tomorrow. Tomorrow (Thursday) is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I miss both my grandma and my last cat Lil Gertie. I know anger is part of grief but I wish it wasn’t part of grief.

I am missing my current cat, Billie Dean at the moment. Billie is spending about a week with my grandpa and uncles as I do some deep cleaning of my apartment. Deep cleaning with chemicals that could be damaging to both cats and humans. Anyway, I miss Billie very much and I love him so much and hopes he misses me.

On that note, I will be going to grandpa’s tomorrow which is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I get to spend it with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and of course my beloved cat, Billie. I’m really happy that I will be spending time with those who love me or try to love me to the best of their ability.

Since my emotions have been all over the place today especially in anger mode, I’ve been doing some self care. I’ve been listening to a podcast on philosophy and I am happy that I am being educated on the topic of philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” and I find it very educational. I love being educated on something I am no knowledgeable in.

While listening “Philosophize This,” I have been doing some art work. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing is coloring. Coloring and listening to a philosophy podcast has helped me deal with my emotions of today. I’m not so angry at the moment. I am still sad because I miss my last cat, Lil Brooke as well as my grandma, I know that they love me. I also know that doing art work and listening to a podcast on philosophy has be helpful to improve my emotions and lessen my anger. I still have people and my cat, Billie that love me.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I wouldn’t be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

Posted on by Gertie

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Doing Okay

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m now not doing okay but I know everything will turn our okay or better than okay. My cat Billie Dean has been doing his just quite well with be an awesome emotional support animal. Billie is an awesome great ESA for me and am forever grateful that he chose me.

Billie has been trying is best in trying help me with my current art project. Specifically, I am coloring. I am coloring some pretty awesome pictures that I hope to share with you all the art work when I am finished with them as well as if I remember to day so. I love to coloring.

Having Anxiety and depression sucks which is why I do art work and cuddle with my cat, Billie. As I sit hear coloring, i have been listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and feel like a am getting a great education I am getting from listening to it.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thigs that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would nt be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

A So So Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have been having a so so type of day. Partly because my anxiety and depression symptoms are acting up. Another part is I went back to work today after taking the last two days off (Monday and Tuesday) from work due to increased symptoms of the anxiety and depression. The HR department at my employer is amazing. They have been working with me since the day I accepted the job offer nearly a year ago. Hell, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I accepted this awesome job.

On that note, HR is amazing but sadly, I had a negative interaction with a colleague that many people at my employer admire including myself. Anyway, the interaction I had with this admired colleague put me in a loop. A loop that I feel like is going to spiral in a downward spiral. That’s why I notified HR via email and will hopefully hear back from HR sometime tomorrow since it took me all day to decide if I needed to bring HR into this matter.

Now, that I am off from work for the day, I have decided to not watch television as I could use a different form of background noise so I decided. The background noise I am listening to is something that I actually listen to which is a podcast. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. In fact the philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much about philosophy from this podcast and feel like I am getting an education from it.

While listening to this podcast, I am cuddling with my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is making it challenging to do some art work but that is okay. The type of art work I am doing is painting as well as collaging. I’m intertwining the two genre’s together. Usually, it comes out okay but this piece is coming out quite amazingly. As far a Billie, my cat, goes, I am glad he is being cuddly with me today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Tired as Hell and Sleeping too Much Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am still trying to sleep too much today which sucks shit. While I have been awake I have be doing to do self care like taking a shower, taking my meds and even spent about an hour with my family eating some of my favorite food. I wasn’t exactly wanting family coming over but I am happy they did. Not because they brought food but is was nice to have them care about them knowing that they love me. It was nice to have meal with some family.

When I haven’t been sleeping I have been blogging as I listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am really into this podcast and am learning a great deal from it. I feeling like I am getting some form of education from this particular pod cast.

Also as I listen to “Philosophize This, I also need to do some art work as well. Specifically, I have been doing some coloring. I finished up some coloring projects and starting new ones. I am hoping to share with you sometime soon. with the art work I have completing especially my coloring stuff.

I guess I do have to say that the typical Seattle weather had helped with how things are going as the weather sucks more than normal here in Seattle. On that note Billie has been such a greater love bug to me that he normally is. I love weather like is this when my depression trying to get back into my life. Self care such as blogging and my cat help a great deal.

I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. It it wasn’t for you the reader of my blog reading my blog, I would not being writer my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading for my blog. Have a good rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Got Absolutely No Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It five thirty eight in the morning on a Sunday here in Seattle. I have not been able to sleep all night and had to call in for my volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City. I don’t think I would be able to do what I need to do while volunteering in a safe manner due to the lack of sleep. The plus note is that I will be able to attend the one hour training I signed up for this evening for my volunteer job at Cat City. Yes, I did leave an voicemail and email regarding missing my job and able to attend the training this evening.

On that note, since I was unable to sleep at all, all night, I have kept quite busy by educating myself my listening to a podcast about philosophy. Actually, I have been listening to this particular philosophy podcast to catch up to the most up to date podcast on philosophy. The podcast I am listening to about philosophy is call “Philosophize This” which I think a really great podcast. I am learning so much from this podcast that I feel like I am getting some form of education on philosophy as I listen to it.

As I listened to the philosophy podcast I did do some art work. The type of art work I did was coloring. In fact I was able to finish two coloring picture that I had already been working on. I also started coloring a new coloring page after I finish the two coloring pages that I had already started.

Something else I did while I have been unable to sleep beside listening to a philosophy podcast while doing art work by coloring, I attended some online 12 Step meetings. A twelve step meeting with a lot recovery focused language verses other 12 Step meetings. Plus the 12 Steep meetings I tend to go to focuses changing myself and not the other people in my life. The focusing on changing oneself verse change others and in being focused on recovery language is why I like this particular 12 step meeting. I attended three of these 12 step meetings tonight and learned a great deal.

And of course, I spent the night with my cat Billie Dean by my side in a very cuddly mood which I love. Billie, my cat is an amazing cat and I love him so much. He is also such a love bug and prefers to be in the same room I am in no matter the room which includes the bathroom. I have not clue why ant pet does this regarding going to the bathroom with their humans. I love my cat, Billie more and more every day.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it as wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Almost Midnight & Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is nearly midnight here in Seattle and I am unable to sleep. I wish I could sleep as I need to be up no later than seven in the morning for work. I would love to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket at work or with my clients. I never want to be a cranky bucket with clients and try to not to be. Getting proper sleep helps me not be a cranky bucket at work and helps me be a better peers specialist.

Anyway, I’ve been doing good self care to help me get some sleep. One of the ways I have been doing good self care is some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I’ve been coloring most of the evening. I started listening to music when I started coloring tonight. The music helped me become in a more creative mode. Once, I was becoming more creative with my coloring, I decided to switch from music to listening to a podcast about philosophy. Listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” as well as music helps me with my self care as well as my artwork.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean, is a part of my self care plan. He has been “helping” me with coloring. The love I have my cat, Billie is one of the many reasons why I am in recovery and do self care. Taking care of Billie is a form of self care for me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Post that Might Not Make Much Sense

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This post might not might makes sense at all but I will have a future blog post that might make this post make more sense that it does. So, long story short, it was recommend to me by my therapist that I read a book call “Impact and Change: A Study of Counseling Relationship” as it will help with my recovery as well as my therapeutic relationship with my own therapist and the clients I would with. Another book that was recommended for me to read was suggested by a colleague. The book is call “Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder.” I have recently started reading these to books and I am learning a great deal about them. They are so very different but there are many parallels in the books. The books have some intersectionality’s in both your personal and professional life when you work in the mental health field while seeking therapy yourself. I am enjoying both of these books so for. I will explain the topics in this paragraph in a later blog posts.

Something that appears to also be connect to the about the above paragraph of my journey of learning about philosophy. I am learning about philosophy but listening to a podcast call “Philosophize This” as well as reading a book called “The Republic and Other Works” by Plato. I am learning a great deal from what I am getting educated on philosophy.

With all this education I feel like I am getting is well worth it. I fell like I am getting educated on all of this by being creative by doing artwork. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing to help retain what I am learning is coloring. Coloring helps me retain things especially when I am wanting to learn something I am interested in.

Of course, I can’t forget about my cat Billie Dean who appears to enjoy what I am learning for the books I am reading as well as the podcast I am listening to. I even talk to my cat Billie about what I am learning and ask questions to him which I know he will not answer but it’s nice to get the information I learned out even thought I talk to Billie my cat about it.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Grateful for the Weekend

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday Evening, World!!! I am now off work for the weekend and am grateful to have the time off. On that note my direct supervisor is back from leave and I am more than thrilled that she is back. I am beyond thrilled she is back because she supervises with a style that not only can I learn from her but she can learn from me. I really like the fact that my supervisor is willing to teach me as well as learn from me. Not very many supervisors do that.

Now that the weekend has officially started for me I plan to just sit back really not do much. My weekend will consist of doing art work and listening to podcast. Specifically, the type of art work I will be doing is coloring. Coloring is a form of mindful meditation practice for me. While I color this weekend, I will me listening to a podcast on philosophy. The specific podcast on philosophy that I will be listening to while I color is Philosophize This. I love learning things as I create things.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post except that I am so happy it is the weekend. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have great weekend. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!