Evening Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a day at work. In fact I am still technically working but I am finishing up some work at home. I am grateful to be finishing up my day at home doing not so fun paperwork. I just want to update you on my corrective action plan (CAP). I did not have the meeting today due to my union representative not being able to attend. I am sad it didn’t happen because I just want it done and over with. I am thankful it didn’t happen because it was my first day back from my second medical leave after the recent trauma I experienced.

The weather today here in Seattle is typical weather for the time of year which is yucky. The weather being yucky means making sure I have an extra pair of shoes and some extra socks with me. The reason being is my shoes tend to get soaking wet especially since my job requires me to do most of my work outreaching clients and I take public transportation.

After I am done doing work paperwork from home, I am going to continue cuddling with my cat, Billie and read. I am going to first read and work on the first step of the twelve step program I am in. I am then going to read Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. I am also reading another book but I am putting that one on hold for the moment.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Awake Way Too Early

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle and I am away way too early. I don’t have to be up until nine o’clock in the morning to work at twelve noon. I am awake partly due to a nightmare related to PTSD. I am also partly awake due to insomnia. Both suck.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have decided I am going to keep myself busy by doing various things. One of those things I am going to be doing is listening to a podcast on philosophy as I do some form of arts and crafts. The type of artwork I am planning on doing is coloring a gigantic post I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I also plan on doing some crafting. The crafting I plan on doing is doing some form of cross stitching. I am grateful to be able to do something with my hands as I listen to something and in this case is listening to a podcast about philosophy.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Ramblings

Good Afternoon, Word!!! I am worried about going back to work tomorrow. One of the reasons is because I will be turning in my resignation as my job is not the right fit for me at the moment even though I love my job. Another reason is because I will be receiving a corrective action plan (CAP) on a couple of things that revolve around my annual review that was done three and half months early. Normally, I would just own up to whatever the CAP is about but I have been asking every time, I have supervision what I can work on and didn’t really receive feedback with the exception of my issues with adaptability. I am not going to argue about my issues with adaptability as this is something I have had issues with since I was a kid due to a disability.

Since I am so worried about work tomorrow, I have been attempting to distract myself from this particular worry. I have been doing some artwork. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring as I listen to music. It seems like that listening to music as I color is quite soothing for me.

Not only have I been coloring as I listen to music, I have been reading. I am reading a horror book as it is one of my favorite genres as well as it being Halloween time. I am reading Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. So far I am enjoying the book.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Dinner with my family

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Breakfast with grandpa
  • Work
  • Read

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Read
  • Art (color)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Meeting with sponsor
  • Read
  • Work on workbook (TBD)

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle Times
  • Work on Step 1
  • Art (color)
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Read

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation via the Calm App
  • Read the Seattle times
  • Go to the U-District Farmers Market with friends
  • Work on a workbook (TBD)
  • Read
  • Attend a twelve step meeting
  • Lunch with friends
  • Art (color)
  • Work on Step 1

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This past week has had plenty of ups and downs but then again, life is a roller coaster ride. A roller coaster ride that is never the same.

The roller coast ride was mainly due to work related stuff. In fact it has been nothing but drama and when I can go back to work. The great news is I am going back to work this Monday (October 16th). The not so great news is that I will be getting a corrective action plan (CAP) for various things in which I was not informed of till I received my annual review three and a half months early before going back on medical leave. Little does work know, that I have been searching for a new job. In fact I have a pre-interview and an interview with two different potential employers.

Due to the work drama, I am so glad I have been doing mindfulness meditation practices twice daily. Actually, it has been more than that but I schedule to do mindfulness meditation practice twice daily as it helps with my mental health symptoms.

In fact mindfulness meditation is a part of the twelve step program I am in. I am really happy that I am in this particular twelve step program as I think it will be helpful for me.

I don’t have much more to write about in this particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Caturday with Billie

As I mentioned last week I will be starting Caturday with Billie today and will be posting pictures of my cat Billie. Sometimes I will post pictures of other cats but I will let you know who that cat is and how I know the cat but there will always be at least one picture of Billie in the post.

A stoic Billie

Just Another Boring Post

Hello, World!!! It appears to be another typical autumn weather day in Seattle. It started out nice and reached 70 degrees (Fahrenheit). Now it is raining and yucky outside. Of course this is normal for Seattle for this time of year.

I went to the doctor’s again today. It was a follow up to a follow up apartment. I still have a stupid urinary tract infection (UTI). The doctor decided to have me extend me taking more antibiotics for the UTI. While at the doctor’s office I received the flu shot. Now my shoulder hurts which is a normal side effect for receiving the flu shot.

After getting back from the doctor’s office, I spent the rest of the day at home with my cat, Billie. I love being able to spend time with my cat. Not only did I spend time with my cat, I spent the afternoon and evening doing art. Specifically, I colored. As I colored, I also listened to music. I listened to my childhood memories play list as I colored.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I sadly woke up from a stupid nightmare and wish the PTSD would just go away. I realize that sadly, the nightmares and the rest of PTSD symptoms will not go away.

Since I woke up from a stupid nightmare, I have decided to read. I am going to read because it is a great distraction and I love to read. Plus, when I read, my cat, Billie, lays on my lap. So, I get the unconditional love of my cat laying on my lap as I read.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post

Hello, World!!! I don’t know how to feel right now. Depression is hitting me hard tonight but at least I got some sleep in earlier. Even though I only got about four hours of sleep I am grateful for the much needed sleep as I was tired. Hell, I am still tired which is why I am probably slightly depressed.

Depression sucks but at least I know how to help myself. One of the things I have been doing is some step work. Specifically, I am working on step one. I really like the fact that the twelve step program I am in has its own twelve step work book. My sponsor is willing to go at my own pace working on the steps as she knows how challenging doing the steps can be.

Since the steps can be hard to do, I’ve done some self care. One of the forms of self care that I have done is to read. I have decided to switch books to read. I am now reading Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far the book is good but I am only thirty pages into the book.

I also have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring to some music. As I color I have been listening to my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. I love being able to color as I listen to music.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!