Ways To Get Through The Grief Today

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I know this is my third time blogging this morning but I am having a tough moment with grief at the moment. So I want to discuss what I plan on doing today to help through the grief of missing my grandma.

First and fore most I am relying on the support of Lil Gertie, my cat. She has her moments of being a cat and not want anything to do with me or any other human. Just having her around is helpful for me. She has be cuddly with me this morning which is most helpful with dealing with grief.

Another way I am going to deal with the grief is going to go to a local peer run organization to volunteer. I volunteer by helping co-facilitate a peer support group. Due to confidentiality I can’t go into more detail about it. But I enjoy being able to volunteer by co-facilitate a peer run group.

Another thing I am doing today is spending time with my family. We are celebrating my grandpa’s birthday today even though it was this past Thursday (August 23rd). Celebrating my grandpa’s birthday is going to be a good thing. Yes, a little difficult as it is his first birthday without my grandma but my dad, two uncles and I will do our best to make it a good one for him.

When I get home from spending time with my family, I plan on packing. Packing for a peer conference I will be volunteering at. The conference may not start till Tuesday but I need to be at the hotel tomorrow afternoon to help do last minute set up as I am volunteering for the conference. So I will be doing a lot of packing. Yes, I will be able to attend the sessions of the conference as I volunteer and that is the beauty of it. I just hope I don’t forget anything when I am packing for the conference.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Sunday. I hope to be able to blog again later today but I can’t make any promises. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

A Post In Respect to Senator McCain and My Grandma

Good Morning, World!!! As I type here at my laptop, I watching the Sunday morning news. The main topic of the morning news is about the death of Senator John McCain. The news is doing a great job in honoring Senator John McCain.

As the country mourns the death of an amazing man, John McCain, my heart goes out to his family. My heart goes out to his family because my family and I are still mourning the death of my grandma. Yes, my grandma’s death was on Valentines Day of this year (2018) which was six and half months ago and Senator McCain’s death was only yesterday. My heart goes out to the family of Senator McCain because I truly understand the pain they must be going through. Yes, the deaths of my grandma and Senator McCain were due to two different diseases but still as difficult deal with.  My grandma passed away due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease while Senator McCain passed away due to Brain Cancer. Both the diseases my grandma and Senator McCain may have be completely different but both affected the brain. So that is why my heart goes out a little more to his family because I understand to an extent of what his family is going through.

As I watch the news about Senator McCain, I can’t help but be hit my grief to not just his death but the death of my grandma. As many of you know, I have been hit hard by a wave of grief of my grandma’s death within the last week even though her death was six and half months ago.

So, as I end this post I want to honor both Senator John McCain and my grandma. I may not be a conservative like Senator McCain, I admire his work as a war hero and politician. So, please take the time out today to honor Senator McCain and the loved ones you have lost just like I am going to do. Thank you for reading my blog. Please, if comment on this post, be respectful. I am honoring my grandma and Senator McCain. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Co-Facilitate Group (A volunteer gig I have)
  • Spend time with family

Monday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Head to Hotel for conference
  • Help set up last minute stuff for peer conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Attend and Volunteer at Peer Conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Wednsday

  • Blog
  • Attend and volunteer at peer conference
  • Head home after conference is over
  • Spend time with cat when I get home from the conference

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Go to doctor’s appointment
  • General lazy day
  • Spend time with cat, Lil Gertie

Friday

  • Blog
  • Job interview
  • Spend time with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Spend time with friends
  • Volunteer at the Warm Line

 

The Wave of Grief Strikes Again

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at my laptop, I have tears rolling down my face. Tears rolling down my face because I really miss my grandma and wish she was still here on Earth. I know it has only been six and a half since she died but I wish the pain wasn’t so difficult to deal with.

As difficult as it is for me to deal with my grandma’s death six and a half months ago, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. My grandparents knew each other for over seventy years and married for sixty two and a half years. As hard as my pain is with missing my grandma, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. It is hard to see him break down when he cries about my grandma. Now that is difficult to see when an eighty eight year old Navy man cry over the loss of their spouse.

As much as I miss my grandma, I am happy that I have my cat, Lil Gertie, to help me through moments of grief. Another thing that I have found helpful with dealing with my grief is journaling. My cat and journaling have been life savers the last week or two in regards to dealing with grief.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I do apologize that it is a depressing to read a post about grief first thing in the morning. Again thank you for reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Blah & Other Randomness

Good Evening, World!! Right now I am feeling a little blah which is a sign of my depression acting up a little bit. So, I went over my grandpa’s place and had dinner which was quite helpful for me. We had breakfast for dinner which was yummy. We had biscuits and gravy for dinner.

Now that I am home, I am spending time with Lil Gertie, my cat, who seems to be extra cuddly at the moment. She is also purring up a storm. Poor little thing has coughed up two fur balls in the last two days. So I am going to take her to the vet if it happens again.

My asthma has been acting up quite a bit lately due to the wildfires around the state. Yes, Seattle is getting plenty of the smoke from the wild fires. It sucks for folks like me who have breathing problems such as asthma. The air quality right now sucks shit for Seattle. Hell, it would even suck shit for Los Angeles. As much as I don’t want it to rain because I am not a big fan of rain, I want it to rain so it can help with the wild fires and clean the air to have better air quality.

I don’t have much to say as I am tired and hopefully will be able to sleep tonight. Sleep didn’t come very well to many people in my building last night but thankfully the problem person is getting the help that they desperately need.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and Sunday due to my volunteer jobs so at least I have something to keep me busy as I start getting excited about the peer conference I am attending next week.

I should get going. I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Missed My Therapy Appointment & Other Random Shit

Good Afternoon, World!!! Let’s start at the beginning with me not getting much sleep. I will refer you to my last two post regarding the lack of sleep even though it did turn into a fun time.  Due to the lack of sleep, I fell asleep and missed my appointment with my therapist. He appeared to be understanding. We rescheduled our appointment for Monday at eleven in the morning. Which gives me plenty of time to be able to do last minute packing and say goodbye to Lil Gertie, my cat, for a couple of day due to going to a conference that is geared toward individuals who work in the mental health field as Peer Specialist/Counselor. My therapist thinks it “awesome” that I am going to the conference. He thinks it would help me with the symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Since I brought up the peer conference I am attending, I am looking forward to it just like I did this year.  I even got a scholarship for the attendance fee of the conference as well as one for the hotel I am staying at. Food is included with the conference fee. The only thing I have to pay for is travel which is easy for me since all I have to do is use my bus pass to use the Light Rail. So more or less the entire conference is free for me due to the scholarship. Part of the reason I am getting a scholarship is because I am helping volunteer again this year. I will be able to go to the sessions just like last year so I will be learning stuff again. I love getting some education when I can even when it is at a conference.

Since I am going to be gone for the conference for a few days, I do have a couple of babysitters to take care of my cat. My friend (who is a neighbor) will look after Lil Gertie, my cat on Monday evening as well as Wednesday morning while my grandpa will take care of her (my cat) on Tuesday around noonish. I have my basis covered when it comes to people taking care of Lil Gertie (my cat). And I don’t just trust anyone to take care of Lil Gertie.

I have loads more to share but I will blog again later on. I also hope to blog about the conference when I have time to do so. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative on my end of things. Peace Out, World.

Birthday Dinner With Grandpa

Good Evening, World!!! I just spent the last two hours with my grandpa as today is his 88th birthday. It was an extremely difficult birthday for him as it is his first birthday dinner since my grandma’s death on Valentines Day of this year. As difficult as it was for him and I both, he really enjoyed himself. As much as my grandpa wishes my grandma was still around to cook him his birthday dinner he appeared extremely grateful that I stepped up to the plate and made it for him. It was nice to have a meal with just my grandpa and myself.

Over dinner we discussed me going back to work and seeing if I was ready to go back to work. He agrees that I am ready to go back to work and he is proud of me that I am seeking out jobs in the field I love and finally getting interviews. Even when the interviews are far in between each other at least I am getting them. He might take me to my job interview on August 31st so I don’t have to take an hour bus ride each way. Of course if I get the job I will have to take the bus but  I am okay with that.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope you have a great rest of your Thursday. I am glad that my grandpa at a great birthday despite our grief over my grandma. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Combating Depression & Other Randomness

Good Afternoon, World. Right now I am combating both depression and grief. I am really missing my paternal grandma today. Or at least that is how the wave of grief is having it for me today. I am also combating off some depression. Not sure if it is the regular depression I deal with or if it is depression related to the grief or maybe a combination of both.

To help me fight off the depression and grief I have been doing some household chores to make my apartment cleaner. Cleaner so when my grandpa comes over for his birthday dinner it’s not as messy as it usually is. I am making my grandpa meatloaf for his birthday because that is what he wants even though it’s a “simple meal” it is one that he “enjoys.” Being able to do something for my grandpa for his birthday instead of giving him something is something he would rather have as the memories are better than material things.

Another way I have been combating the depression and grief is getting ready to go to a conference early next week that is solely for Peer Specialist/Counselors. Just knowing I will be with people who are in recovery with mental health challenges for two days is enough to keep me going. I will be in a hotel for two day full of peer support. In fact I also sought out peer support today for the depression and grief. That someone is the one who is the supervisor of the volunteers at the peer conference. See I got a full ride scholarship, including lodging and food just because I will be volunteering. I only have to pay for transportation which is easy because I am car pooling with someone to the conference. The power of peers is a real thing and we are going to fight against the mental health system somehow.

On a good note, and I think I have informed you of this already is that I have an interview on Friday, August 31st, 2018 for a peer specialist job. A job I am unsure about but hope I get an opportunity to get back in the swing of things. Yes, I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things work wise but am a bit nervous about going back to work. I am having some self doubts about going back to work but for me having self doubts is a normal part of my daily mental health challenges.

I should really get going as I need to start preparing to cook dinner as my grandpa will be here shortly and likes to eat relatively early. I am expecting to eat around five in the evening in my neck of the woods.

I would like to thank you again for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader and/or follower, I still would not be blogging. Peace Out, World!!

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

Waiting to Go To Hospital Due to Migraine

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am waiting to go to the hospital for my migraine to see if it gets better especially since my grandpa will be taking me. After my grandpa takes me to the hospital I’ll be spending the night at his place and have him bring me home tomorrow.

My cat is helping me relax a little which might help with the migraine. Anything to help with the migraine I am willing to try.

I should get going and rest. I will keep you updated. Thank you reading my blog. It is appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!