Tag Archives: Job

Monday Cant Get Here Soon Enough

Posted on by Gertie

     Its another Sunday evening and I am so looking forward till tomorrow. As most of the world dreads Mondays, I look forward to them. For most of the world it is the start of the work week. For  me Mondays mark my Friday. Hell, for most of the world it’s already Monday. 

     My shift at work today seemed like it was a 12 hour shift instead of a 6 hours shift. The customers just seemed ruder than normal when most of my coworkers seemed to have an attitude problem due to the rudeness of the customers. I just wish people realized how their behavior can effect others. I mean people working at a grocery store are just trying to pay their bills and take care of their families and don’t deserve to be treated like shit. If we treated our customers the way they treat us we wouldn’t have a job anymore or the company would go under. Its not my fault or the fault of the checker’s (cashier) if corporate decides to discontinue an item. In fact its not always corporate that  does it. Sometimes its the manufacture of the product. The employees at a grocery have no control what so ever what item is discontinued. Oh yeah, if you have an expired I.D/Drivers License we can not legally sell you alcohol. Obeying the law doesn’t give anyone the right to hit anyone. Sorry for bitching but seriously please be nice to the employees of the grocery store or supermarket you shop at. You have no idea how an previous customers may have treated us.   

     Tomorrow I also here back from the agency I had an interview with. I am so hoping I get the job because I don’t know how much I can take from customers or corporate. Working 9 years a grocery store can make anyone stress out. I just need a career change and I hope I get the job as a Consumer Aide.  

     On a good note when I got to my boyfriends house after work he had dinner for me. He had barbequed chicken and corn and made freshly squeezed lemonade for me. Plus we strawberry shortcake for dessert. Oh how I love my boyfriend. He knows how to lessen my stress even if he doesn’t realize I am stressed when I show up. I should get go.

     Well, I should get going. I will try to blog again tomorrow. I am hoping to blog everyday. I am really wanting to add more followers to my blog but not sure how. Well, have a good rest of your Sunday everyone. For those of you in this world that its already Monday then have a good Monday. Peace Out.

Wiping Myself Off After A Tough Week

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s Saturday which means its the last day of the week and its been one of those weeks. My week has been me getting myself back on my feet and wiping myself after what happened on this past Monday (8/11/2014). But hey that is what recovery is all about. Getting back up and wiping yourself off.

     Part of me wiping myself off was and is going about the activities I do everyday. For me that includes volunteering which I absolutely love to do and going to work which is something I rather not do but do anyway. Recovery is all about doing things in both we want to do and don’t want to do. I may not like working at my current job because I know it’s the career I am not suppose to be in however in has helped me a great deal in my recovery process.

     Speaking of jobs, the person doing the hiring for the Consumer Aide position I interviewed for emailed me yesterday asking me a couple more questions. For the most part in kind of sounds hopeful. He did say he would get back to me this Monday (8/18/2014) of what his decision will be. The emails may have sounded hopeful but a comment he made kind of concerns me. He said that he asked me all those questions because the agency (that I had the interview with) wants to make I have the support I need for the job. I just wanted to email him back saying if I didn’t have the support I wouldn’t have applied for the job but I didn’t email him that. Overall the emails sound like I am at least a high contender for the job. I just hope I am not getting my hopes set to high. I know a Consumer Aide isn’t exactly the position I desire however its a step in the right direction to becoming a Peer Support Specialist. Plus it beats working at a grocery store any day. Trust me working at a grocery store with the same company for the last 9 years is not my idea of my desired career path. At least a Consumer Aide is a step in the desired direction I want to go into.

     Well, another part of my recovery process is blogging. I need to try and blog everyday like I did when I started back in late May. I’ve been slacking a little. Some of it is because I have been busy and some of it has to do with my still struggling a little. Anyway, another part of my recovery process is making sure I eat.

      That means I need to get going because I am needing to eat. I am hungry. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I might not be able to tomorrow because of my work shift but I will try. Have a good day everyone. Peace out.!!

Struggling A Little Bit

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s another Thursday and I have been struggling a bit for about a week or two now. I didn’t realize how badly I was struggling till this past Monday (8/11/2014) when I dissociated. The unfortunate part of the dissociated state it that I ended up cutting. I am so disappointed that I cut. I hadn’t cut in three years. When I started coming out of the dissociated state and realized what I had done, I freaked out and called 911. Of course the fire department came and checked me out and then I was taken to the emergency room.

      My experience in the emergency room wasn’t the best I have had in the 14 years I have been going to this particular ER for both psych and medical reasons. On the positive side both of the physicians were caring and sincere in wanting to help me. It was both the nurse and the social worker that didn’t make my experience all that great. The nurse was just negative with me the entire night. She told me that I needed to get my act together and that if it wasn’t for the HIPPA law that she would tell my boss’s about what happened. (Side note: The nurse shops at the grocery store I work at on the regular basis). When the social worker finally talked to me her demeanor was as if she didn’t want to be at work or got the short straw to talk to me. I told the social worker what the nurse said and the social worker told me that the nurse would never say that and I that I was being “hostile.” The question I have is how can I be hostile if I am sitting on the floor in a corner of the room with a blanket around me and sucking my thumb holding a stuffed animal. If that’s “hostile” then I would hate to think what her (the social workers) point of view is on violent behavior. The social worker then had the guts to tell me that she didn’t believe me that I dissociated. As she told me this one of the doctors came in to check on me and well he didn’t seem too happy with the social worker at the moment. The doctor asked how I was doing and I said I was doing better (which I was) and then said that he believed me. This doctor has treated me before and knows that I dissociate. Well, to make a long story short the doctor talked to the social work who in return said, I’m only apologizing because I was asked to. I really don’t like it when people are forced to apologize to me or others when they don’t mean it but am grateful that doctor cared enough to talk to her. His heart was in the right place. Thankfully, I wasn’t hospitalized. I was sent home.

    For me being sent home was a good thing. It means that I am far enough in my recovery process that I can continue to do what I need to do in my everyday life. For me going on with my life is what I need to do. That means continue going to my volunteer training at the Warm Line as well as going  to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter. That also mean I will go to work tomorrow as well as on Saturday and any shifts I have next week. For me if I wasn’t in recovery I wouldn’t have bothered going to the Warm Line training this past Tuesday as well as my listening shift last night nor would have I gone to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter. I consider this episode as a relapse. I am picking up where I left off before I dissociated and harmed myself. Another thing I am waiting on is my therapist to call me back. She was sick on Tuesday and doesn’t work on Wednesdays and hoping she is back in the office today. If she is still out today I will just see her at my regularly scheduled appointment. As much as I am beating myself up over what happened I have to get up and dust myself up and make the choice to continue my recovery process.

     I debated whether or not to share this with you because I didn’t want to trigger anyone nor did I want to worry anyone. I decided to blog about after I discussed it with my natural support system and they said it would be a good idea because it will show that I am human (which I am) and that I can pick up with my life even though its a little difficult at the moment. Yes, I know I blogged on Tuesday but I didn’t have my mind wrapped around what happen the night before and needed some space before I blogged about it. Now there is enough space and decided blog about what happened with the encouragement from the people who care about me. I am hoping that me blogging about this shows that people with mental illness can work through there issues as they continue with their everyday life. For me to continue with my everyday life is key to my recovery. It is my hope that this blog entry can show others struggling with mental illness that recovery is possible even if you relapse and that hope is out even if you relapse. I am worried about what my therapist is going to say on Monday but I will deal with that when it comes. As much as I don’t like my job I am looking forward to work tomorrow. I am grateful that I am able to work. Continuing to go on with my everyday life is something I’ve learned to do to not go farther backwards.

     Speaking of continuing with everyday life I need to get going. I need to eat and get my work clothes ready for tomorrow before I go to my volunteer training at the Warm Line. Have a good rest of your Thursday. I hope I didn’t trigger or worry anyone. Peace out!!

Not Much To Say Today

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I am not wanting to go to work today because of how beautiful it is today. Yes, I am going to go work today even if I don’t wana. As much I don’t want to go to work today because its such a lovely day and that I don’t like my job I am going because it helps me a great deal. My current employment has helped me a great deal in my recovery process. My recovery means a great deal to me.

     All I know is that I am eating a fudgsicle and its absolutely tasty. I always make sure I have some chocolate at home because it helps me when I am struggling. Hell, it helps me even when I am not struggling. I feel bad for people who are allergic to chocolate. When people say diamonds are a girls best friend is a liar because for this woman chocolate is my best friend.

     I don’t have much to say today. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I just hope I start getting more followers for my blog. I am kind of disappointed that I only have 14 followers. I shouldn’t be complaining because I’ve only been doing this blogging thing for about 2 1/2 months now.

     I best be going now. I have to get ready to go to work. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a good Sunday everyone. Peace out.

Can It Be Monday Yet?

Posted on by Gertie

     Its another Saturday and I just want Monday to be here. Mondays are my Fridays and I wish Monday would hurry up and get here. Today at work was not an easy day for me for a lot of different reasons. My PTSD symptoms are acting up which doesn’t make work any easier for me especially when some customers have no sense of peoples personal bubbles. Today my bubble was bigger than normal for me. Oh how I hate PTSD. Another thing about today is when I was helping a pregnant woman out to her car she went into labor. Thankfully, another customer when into the store and had someone call 911. Long story short I helped deliver twins today. Who knew that being a courtesy clerk (bagger) at a grocery store that I would be helping with a delivery process again. I really don’t think delivering twins is in my job description. Helping deliver twins today was quite difficult for me. I wish I had the strength to tell you why it was difficult but it was. I do have to say it was amazing though. Birth is an amazing process. I hope some day I will be a mother. Anyway, just helping with the process of somebody delivering their babies in the parking lot was not only amazing but difficult on me and I know when I go see my therapist after work on Monday that we will be discussing helping with the delivery of the customers babies. The customer had a boy and a girl.

      I should get going. I will try to blog again tomorrow before I go to work. Hopefully, I don’t have to deliver anymore babies at work tomorrow. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace Out!!!

It’s Been A Couple Of Days

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Friday!!! If you are a follower to my blog or a regular reader you are aware that I haven’t blogged in a couple of days. I haven’t blogged for a few reasons. One reason is I wasn’t sure what to blog about another reason I didn’t blog is because I’ve been so busy with life that I exhausted myself and have been too tired to blog.

     Wednesday was the day I had my interview. Thankfully, they didn’t have to reschedule with me again even though it almost got rescheduled again. When I showed up and a couple of the program managers at the agency realized that it was going to be the third time they just interviewed me with anyway even though it wasn’t the right set of interview questions. They felt that if I had rescheduled twice before that the interview should happen anyway. One the interviewers said that if I don’t get the job with program I applied for that they will find the funding for me to have job with there program as a peer and not a consumer aide. So it looks like either way that I might have job. I am hoping that I get the job as a consumer aide.

      I had a listening in shift with the Warm Line on Wednesday and well it was an “unusual day” for calls at the Warm Line. First of all they only received three phone calls that were not hang up calls. Second of all; all three phone calls ended up suicide calls that needed to be transferred to the crisis line. I only listened in on two of those calls. They want me to do another listening in shift so I know what a “typical” shift looks like. A shift usually isn’t so slow nor does it get “crisis” calls. I’m just waiting on when my next listening in shift will be. I guess I will be getting three listening shifts instead of two and that is cool with me. I am looking forward to September when I start being a call taker on the Warm Line.

     Speaking of volunteering, I am looking forward to Wednesday when I volunteer at the homeless shelter. I love my volunteer job at the shelter. The clients at the shelter are known for being difficult to serve because of the severity of their mental illnesses and/or addictions and I love the challenge. If I get the job as a consumer aide I will be a little sad because I cant volunteer and be an employee at the same time with the agency that runs both the shelter and the program I applied and had the interview for. Yes, I want the job however I will miss the clients at the shelter. Again if everything works out the way I hope it does I will be starting the job as a consumer aide the same time I officially will be a call taker on the Warm Line. I know I shouldn’t be getting my hopes up so high but I really want the job even though I will miss volunteer at the shelter.

     As some of you know Fridays are my Mondays and that means I worked today. Today was just a shitty day at work. A day that made me realize I want the hell out of my current employment. Working at grocery store with the same employer for the last 9 years has made me realize that I am meant to be in the mental health field. I don’t like having people yell at me for something I have no control over. Working in a grocery store is NOT my cup of tea.

    Speaking of tea that reminds me that I need to take time out to take care of myself. I am going to go and have a cup of hot tea. Yes, I am having tea on an 80 degree day. Why not? It is a way to take care of myself. I better get going. In all honesty, I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have good weekend everyone. Peace out!!!

A Little Tired To Blog

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s another Tuesday and I am tired as hell. Sorry I haven’t really blogged. I was hoping to blog earlier but I’m just extremely tired. I had several screaming nightmares last night and I am most appreciative that my boyfriend helped me through. I really should be in bed right now because I have a job interview tomorrow.

      I have a job interview tomorrow with the same agency who runs the homeless shelter I volunteer at. Hopefully, they don’t have to reschedule the interview again. If they do I wont be a happy camper because I had to tell the shelter I wouldn’t be there again tomorrow due to the interview being rescheduled. I love volunteering at the homeless shelter. The clients might be considered difficult but I don’t find them difficult. If you treat them with respect they will treat you with respect. I am fearful that they are going to reschedule the interview again. I just don’t want to miss another volunteer shift at the homeless shelter. Volunteering at the shelter gives me a since of purpose.

     Having a since of purpose is huge and I think that is why I am going through the Warm Line Training. In fact I went to training this evening and I am enjoying it. Tomorrow I have my first listening in shift. I wont be doing any talking just listening in to see how the calls are taken and what they are like. We have another listening in shift toward the end of the training as well. I hope I am good enough to be a call taker on the Warm Line.

     If everything works out with getting the job that means I will been ending my volunteer job at the homeless shelter because you cant volunteer and be an employee at the agency but I will be starting the Warm Line about the same time I start the job if I get it. So what I am trying to say as one volunteer job might be coming to an end if I get the job it will work at that I will be starting a new volunteer job. It looks better on a job résumé that way. As much as I don’t want to quit volunteering at the shelter I want the job even more. Even if I don’t get the job volunteering two places looks good on the résumé as well. I just really want the job. Like I said I will have to quit the homeless shelter if I get the job and if I get the job I will be starting to be an official volunteer call taker at the Warm Line. I hope this paragraph is making sense because I am just really tired.

     Since I am really tired I am thinking I should end this blog entry for now. I hope to blog tomorrow regarding both the job interview and the listening shift with the Warm Line. I will not be able to discuss what the callers said due to confidentially. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday evening. Good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out!!

Getting Into The Mindset Of Another Days Work

Posted on by Gertie

     Its another Sunday morning and I am getting in the mindset of going to work for my shift this afternoon. I am not a big fan of my work shift this afternoon but at least going to work keeps me out of my own head at times. Well most of the time it keeps me out of my head. As much as I don’t like my current employment working at a grocery store for the last 9 years, I cannot deny the fact that it has helped me a great deal in my recovery process. I just hope that I don’t have to unload an entire pallet into our ice cooler again. I am sore from having to do 1 1/2 pallets on Friday and another pallet yesterday. Well at least I got paid for weight lifting. If I have to do another pallet of ice I will be okay with it because it breaks up the monotony of the typical shift.

     Speaking of my shift I should get going because I need to get reading to go to work. I hope to blog tomorrow. I am sorry to have this blog so short but I am sure you my readers it is short since I tend to be so long winded. Again, I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. Peace out.

Just A Brief Blog (I Hope)

Posted on by Gertie

     Happy Thursday!!! I am hoping to keep this particular blog entry brief for a number of reasons. One of those reasons is  that its a beautiful day outside and I want to enjoy it before I go to my volunteer training for the Warm Line.

       I just want to update you on what’s been going on the last couple of days since I didn’t blog yesterday. If you been reading my blog you know I was suppose to have a job interview yesterday. It got rescheduled again. This time it was due to miscommunication with the interviewers. I am a getting a little annoyed with the rescheduling thing. Its next Wednesday at 10am. I was disappointed because I was already on the city bus half way there. Since the interview was rescheduled that means I could go to my volunteer job at the homeless shelter. I emailed the supervisor saying I would be there and she said to come in cause they had to shut it down for the day because of plumbing issues that had to be fixed by the time it was check-in time for the clients to get beds for the night. Thankfully they were able to open for the night. Unfortunately, I am unable to volunteer at the homeless shelter next Wednesday due to the interview being rescheduled for that day. I really hope I get the job because of the interview being rescheduled twice.

     Well, my grandparents are going to be in town later on today because my grandma has an appointment at a Parkinson’s Center because there is no one in near her rural town that specializes in Parkinson’s. I love my grandma dearly. She and my grandfather helped my dad raise me. It saddens me to see my grandma struggle with Parkinson’s.  They wanted to have dinner with me tonight but I cant because of my volunteer training for the Warm Line so I am going to have dinner with them tomorrow. My grandparents are staying at my dads. I am so looking forward to her cooking. I love my grandma’s cooking. I just wish I could have some her cooking  tonight but I have training.

     I am looking forward to my volunteer training for the Warm Line tonight. I am hoping I learn a great deal from this training. The cool thing about volunteering at the Warm Line is that I will be able to take various types of training regarding mental illness, suicide prevention and other such topics. The cool thing is that most of the trainings will be free to me because of me being a volunteer and low income.

     Anyway, I better get going. Like I said I wanted to keep this blog entry brief and unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. Well, have a good Thursday everyone. Peace out!!

Last Day Of Vacation

Posted on by Gertie

     Its an absolutely beautiful day in the neighborhood. I spent this Sunday afternoon at a baseball game with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I saw a lot of his co-workers there its always good to see people I consider family even if they are not blood. I love baseball even if the team I am rooting for looses. I had a blast like I do every time I go to a baseball game. I of course had my hot dog, Pepsi, slice of pizza, and garlic fries like I do at every game I attend. You would think that I would be full after all that food but I wasn’t.

     Apparently, I had enough room in my stomach of mine to have a steak at a barbeque I went to with my boyfriend after the baseball game. The barbeque was at one of my boyfriends co-workers place who happens to have a swimming pool. In fact this particular co-worker of my boyfriends is the person I consider to be my second mom or my other mother. She more of a mom to me than my own mom has ever been to me. So I of course ate the steak and had more food which include corn on the cob, potato salad, 3 pieces of chocolate cake and more Pepsi. It being a nice beautiful sunny warm summer day out, I of course went swimming. I love swimming and according to my boyfriend and our friends I should have been born a fish. Hell, that’s nothing new to me; I was told that all the time when I was growing up.  I enjoy myself even if I was acting like a kid (and a fish) for while.

    I think its okay to act like a kid every once in while especially since I have to go back to work tomorrow and start acting like an adult again. Today is my last day of vacation and I had an absolute blast today. In fact I enjoyed this entire vacation. I have to say that the best part of my vacation was spending time with my little brother. I really don’t want to go back to work tomorrow but its a reality I have to deal with. In fact its a reality a lot of have us have to deal with. I am hoping that I wont have to work at my current employer for much longer.

     The reason why I am hoping to not be working at my current employer much longer is because I have a job interview this Wednesday. I am really hoping I get the job I am interviewing for because nine years working at a grocery store is just getting to be too much for me. I am grateful for my current employer and being employed at the grocery store has helped a great deal with my recovery process.

      My recovery process has been a journey. That journey has not been easy. In fact today marks 999 days since I was last discharged from a psych ward. This is the longest I have been out of an inpatient unit or hospital regarding the mental illness I struggled with since forever and a day. The first time I was hospitalized for psych reasons I was only a teenager so 999 days out of the hospital is a good thing. I will be blogging more about my recovery process and being out of the hospital for so long tomorrow.

       Speaking of tomorrow I need to get going and make sure I have everything ready to go to work for tomorrow. I don’t even know if that last sentence made sense. Anyway, I will blog again tomorrow and I will be blogging about my recovery process. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Peace out!!!