Feeling Supported

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now I am feeling supported. I am feeling supported in many different ways by many different people including my cat, Billie Dean. Yes, I realize Billie is a cat and not a human but I feel supported by him.

I feel supported by the various people in my life due to circumstances going on in my life. I was and am on the receiving end of being bullied by a colleague. When it became clear on Thursday that I was being bullied, my supervisor and many of my colleagues have been checking in on me even today, a Saturday. I am thrilled that my colleagues at my new job are backing me up and supporting me.

To add to being bullied, I ended up having to call out sick yesterday (Friday) due to a migraine. Again, my colleagues as well as friends and family checked in on me throughout yesterday and today. My grandpa even brought over groceries today and made me a meal. My grandpa didn’t have to make me lunch but he did. He, a neighbor and myself sat on the community patio of my apartment building and had lunch. It was nice to eat lunch with a friend and my grandpa.

Another way I felt supported today was going to a twelve step meeting. A twelve step meeting my sponsor regularly attends. Of course the meeting was not in person due to Covid-19 but at least I was able to attend one over Zoom. Zoom is a godsend during the pandemic and am grateful for it especially when it comes to attending twelve step meetings. My sponsor checked in with me after the meeting. We discussed how I was doing regarding my first step and how it is a slow process at the moment.

Of course as I mentioned earlier on in this post, I am feeling supported by my cat, Billie Dean. I love my cat, Billie so much. It is amazing how supportive pets can be in peoples lives. My cat has been a great support for me and am grateful for him.

I do not have much more to say in this particular job post. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One Word Inspiration

HOPE

For me hope is a simple yet loaded word. If it wasn’t for hope, I don’t think I would be typing this post much less alive. Hope comes from many sources but most importantly it comes from within. My cat Billie Dean gives me hope. He gives me hope by just being so adorable and choosing me to adopt him. Billie gives me hope in so many ways that I can not explain it. The hope that is within myself helps me be a better person and allows me to be compassionate toward others. Hope is the reason why I am in recovery from a mental health challenge.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Things I’ve Learned In Recovery

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills
  • Setting boundaries
  • The love my family has for me
  • Friends and family I can depend on
  • To not take life too seriously
  • Some days are going to be tougher than other days and that is okay
  • Mistakes are teachable moments as well as lessons learned
  • It’s okay if the only I thing do is get out of bed; some days are going to be like that
  • Helping others helps me; but make sure I put myself first or I might not be able to help others in a health way
  • Working helps me with my recovery and gives me a sense of purpose
  • Volunteering not only helps with my depression and other diagnosis it helps the community at large
  • Building a community the accepts me as me
  • Being in more that one community is a good thing
  • Having an emotional support animal (ESA) to take care  to help with depression (currently my cat, Billie Dean)
  • Doing self care is not selfish

A Thousand Words to Say Yet Nothing Comes Out But Tears Through the Eyes

I am continuing to love my job and try to help wear I can. It appears that I am being bullied slightly at work. I’m being bullied by a white person because I am sticking up for my colleagues the identify as part of the BIPOC community. I did what I needed to do and all I want is everyone to be treated with respect no matter what what they identify as. Sadly, I am being bullied by a white colleagues. During the meeting only one person was against me as my team had my back. I felt I have the back of most of my colleagues including my supervisor. My supervisor is just one amazing human being. and am grateful to for her to be on board.

I learned a great deal about my colleagues and how supportive they are with dealing with such a bully in the work place. My Supervisor came by my -place to take our cats out for walks and for we can meet in person for the first time. I’m grateful for her checking up on me and a mutual walk with our cats. Our cats got along great.

I know there is bully at my place at work and I feel like it getting taking care off. I like the fact that my colleagues might be come friends. Love being about to talk about cat stuff instead of just work. I love cast

I do not know what else to say for the day expect a great big thank you. Thank you for reading.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

I write for various reasons. Take this my blog for example. I blog to educate those who don’t have lived experience with a mental health challenge and/or substance use disorder in hopes to end the stigma that is associated with mental health and substance use. I also blog to give other people hope in their recovery. I may not have a substance use disorder but I hope that my recovery with mental health, self-harm and eating disorders can be of inspiration to those who struggle with substance use disorders. Another reason I blog and didn’t realize this till about three years after starting my blog is that it helps with my own mental health.

So, I guess, the reason I blog in hopes that with me sharing my journey that it will lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substances use disorders as well as give others who struggle some form of hope. Being in recovery is not easy but it is well worth it. I just hope my blog can help lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substance use disorders as well as give others hope. Thank you for listening.

There’s No Place Like Home

Good Evening, World!!! I had an awesome four day birthday weekend. I spent time with both sides of my family and am beyond grateful for my decision. As much as I am glad I went to Olympia to visit my mom and uncle my birthday, I am happy to be home.

Last Friday, I celebrated my birthday with my dad, grandpa and two uncles as well as my cat, Billie Dean. I took Billie to my grandpa’s house as I went out of town for a few days. I am beyond grateful that my grandpa took care of my cat, Billie. Anyway, I had a great time with my dad’s side of the family and had some awesome barbeque ribs.

After an awesome dinner I came home and packed to go to Olympia via train while my cat Billie stayed with my grandpa. I went to Olympia on Saturday via train. I love taking the train and enjoy myself every time I take a train.

When I arrived in Olympia a friend of mine picked me up and we went out for dinner after I checked into my hotel room. We went to Carl’s Jr. for dinner as we don’t have one here in Seattle. I love Carl’s Jr. as I went there all the time when I grew up in California. After eating Carl’s Jr. with my friend we went to Priest Point Park and hike around the park. I love that park. After hiking around the park for a while my friend dropped me off at the hotel.

On Sunday which was my birthday I took a walk with a friend around Capital Lake. It was great to walk around the lake with a friend. After the walk my mom and uncle to me out to dinner at Red Robin’s I love Robin’s. I had my normal meal of a Whisky River Barbeque Burger with extra cheese and onion straws.

On Monday, I took time to myself and just hung out around Downtown Olympia as well as in my hotel room. I just needed a day to myself and am beyond grateful that I took a me day for my birthday weekend.

I came back home to Seattle, yesterday via train. I am so happy to be home. My grandpa dropped off my cat, Billie Dean once I got home. Billie is just as happy to be home as I am. There is no place like home. I love my cat Billie and love being home with him around. I think Billie is grateful to both being home and to be around me. We are both happy to be home with each other.

I do not have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Continuing education class on stress management
  • Celebrate my birthday with my mom and uncle

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Continuing education class on stress management
  • Spend time with friends and celebrate my birthday with them
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Last assignment for continuing education class on stress management
  • Travel back home to Seattle via train
  • My grandpa brings my cat, Billie Dean home after taking care of him for me while being out of town

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Attend a twelve step meeting

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Clean apartment
  • Attend twelve step meeting
  • Do art work

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I am currently in Olympia, Washington. I am here to spend my birthday with my mom and uncle tomorrow on my actual birthday. I rarely spend my birthday with my mom’s side of the family.

Anyway on that note, I celebrated my birthday with my dad’s side of the family yesterday evening. I had a good birthday dinner with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is currently at my grandpa’s as I will be in Olympia for a few days. My cat, Billie, loves my grandpa and I am thrilled that my grandpa is willing to take care of Billie while I am out of town. My uncle made an awesome dinner for my birthday and I really enjoyed the food.

Now to check in on other things. My new job it going great. I love it my new job so much and I feel really appreciated by my supervisor. Sadly, we had some issue with email yesterday and it might take up to a week to get it figured out. I hope it doesn’t take a week to get the email issue fixed. Anyway, at least I won’t have to worry about it till Wednesday as I will be taking this Monday and Tuesday off from work as I want to spend time here in Olympia. I did have to go home from work early last Tuesday from not feeling well and appreciate the fact that I was encouraged to take care of myself.

Sadly, the day I did leave work early, I ended up in the emergency room. I thought I had Covid-19 as I had many of the symptoms. Thankfully, it turns out I didn’t have Covid-19 but had strep throat. Strep throat is no joke but sure better than having Covid-19. I am taking antibiotics for the strep throat and am feeling better.

I have been attending a twelve step meeting that I feel comfortable going to. This particular twelve step program has you focus on your own recovery and not trying to “fix” other people which I really like. I did find someone to be my sponsor and finally got the nerve to call them before starting the particular blog post. I hope this potential sponsor calls me back as I really want to start working the steps.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for ready my blog. Have a great Saturday evening and a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Intro to Poetry; Day 5: Imperfect

Arms of Imperfection

by Gertie

Looking at my arms,

all I see are railroad tracks.

Railroad tracks due to scars.

Scars that were caused

by acts of self harm.

Thankfully, no more acts of 

self harm and now just

reminders of it.

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Walking along side someone,

on the path to recovery

is very much like hiking

with a friend.

It’s just this friend is

someone you help guide

through the life of recovery.

A life of recovery which is a

life worth living.