Tag Archives: Music

Too Early To Be Awaken on My Weekend

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I start this particular post it is exactly 3:45 in the blasted morning on a Friday morning in Seattle. A Friday that is considered my weekend as Friday’s and Saturdays are my weekend. It is too early to be up this early during my weekend and it sucks shit. I woke up due to the fact of an extreme nightmare that consisted of body memories that make it feel like not just the most recent trauma happened but past traumas happened all at the same time. Having nightmares that include body memories are not the easiest thing to deal with especially so early in the morning.

Sadly, my PTSD symptoms are increasing my depression symptoms. Increased depression means that I have to be more intuned with myself regarding self harm urges as well as making sure that I don’t become suicidal. Thankfully, I am currently not suicidal. Sadly, I do have some self harm urges but at least they are at a manageable level. A level where I can create my own safety plan without the help of others such as friends or my mental health treatment team with the exception of my beloved cat, Billie as Billie helps a great deal with my safety planning.

I think I will start my safety plan with some mindfulness meditation to help me get into a better head space to help me with the rest of my safety plan.

As of right now, I think I will work on some artwork. Specifically, the artwork I will be working on is some coloring. Coloring is a great way to help me relax and focus on something creative that will help me do something more challenging to do when I am currently in the head space that I am currently in especially when I listen to music as I color. Music and coloring appear to be helpful together for me to refocus. So, I am hoping that as I color and listen to music with my cat laying by my side I can get into the mindset of reading a novel I am reading.

The novel I am currently reading is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. So, far it is keeping my attention especially when I am in an okay head space. I highly recommend the book. I am really enjoying this book and encourage you to read the book.

In all honesty I hope I can get back to sleep due to the insomnia that is caused by stupid ass PTSD symptoms and I really hope my safety plan will help with me falling back to sleep. At least I know my cat is quite helpful with helping me sleep.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it was not for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday ahead of them. Peace Out, World.

Billie the Cat Helping

Posted on by Gertie

Hello World!!! Right now, I am struggling with the recent trauma I experienced and Billie is doing his best to distract me with his cuteness by bringing his wand to me. When he brings me his wand it is when he wants to play. He likes to play tug of war with his wand especially when he brings it to me. I don’t know why my cat, Billie, loves me unconditionally.

After playing with Billie and writing this particular blog post, I am going to be doing some art. Specifically, I will be coloring as I listen to music. I am unsure what type of music I will be listening to as I color.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Bundle of Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am dealing with many various emotions. Some emotions I wish I didn’t have to deal with however I know if I don’t sit with them and radically accept them as they are things tend to get worse for me. On that note, my mental health team and doctor think that I am doing “okay” mental health wise considering what I went through two weeks ago even though I feel like I am going backwards with my mental health. It has been brought to my attention by a friend that I am having “unrealistic expectations” of myself and where I feel like I should be regarding my recovery after being hurt like I was and my mental health agrees. Hell, I agree because I wouldn’t expect my friend or my clients to be in a good place after being assaulted.

I am currently excited and anxious about going back to work this Sunday (August 20th). I am excited because I love my job and the people I work with as well as love the people I am able to serve. I am also excited to go back to work because I feel like the structure of work will help me get back to some form of normalcy of my life. Plus, structure tends to be something I need and crave due to my mental health disability as well as other disabilities such as ADHD. I am anxious to go back to work because I feel like I am going to be in trouble and that my supervisors will be more focused on how I am doing emotionally versus how I am doing the job. I know that my supervisors are super supportive however I am extremely self-conscious.

Being hurt like I was, it has brought up a lot of past traumas I have experienced in my life. It feels like I am experiencing most of the traumas all over again. I realize this is completely normal but I feel like I am abnormal. My therapist’s direct supervisor told me last Friday that “feelings are not facts.” Kind of hard to argue with that fact. Having C-PTSD sucks shit but at least I know what to do to help myself. One thing is to read as it helps me get out of my head and focus on something that doesn’t cause emotional pain. Another thing that helps in listening to music as I color. Also doing a mindfulness meditation is quite helpful. Something else that is helping is making sure I eat regularly as well as drinking plenty of water. Drinking plenty of water right now is key as the weather here in Seattle is hot and experiencing a heat wave. Of course my cat, Billie is quite helpful.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottome of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Long of a Post about Arts & Crafts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I was to work today but sadly, I called in sick as I needed to take a mental health day. I have realized that I haven’t done much self care as it is needed to do in any line of work but especially the mental health field and greatly love my work with a passion.

Much to my surprise my family has been encouraging me to do some self care for myself. I am just shocked as hell that it came from my grandpa. I love my grandpa so much. In fact my dad has been encouraging me for weeks to do some self care which I plan on doing.

Just like my family, my friends have been insisting on me doing self care. I am so thrilled that I have friends that care about me. I have the best friends in the world.

As some of you know, I have Anxiety, Depression and Complex PTSD along with treatment resistant Insomnia. Having insomnia sucks and the lack of sleep makes the symptoms of my other mental health challenges that become more symptomatic.

Due to the lack of sleep, I make sure I do a mindfulness meditation practice to start the day when I get up as well as to end the day before bed time. I highly recommend doing some mindfulness meditation.

Anyway, I want to bring something up that might help me with my mental health and my job. First of reading as I love to read. I highly enjoy reading. I am currently reading The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. It is a very intriguing book.

As far as arts and crafts I plan on doing is nothing new especially when it comes to art work, specifically when it comes to coloring. I have also dabbled in painting but I am not very good at. I hope to do more painting and coloring especially since I ordered more coloring pages from Stuff2Color. The coloring stuff I got from Stuff2Color and still have a lot of canvas that I bought a while ago and haven’t done anything about. Now it is just time to by paint and paint brushes.

Now on to the crafts part of arts and crafts.I have ordered some Latch Hook stuff already and have ordered more so I can make them for people and their special day whatever that may be as well as donate to local nonprofits so when they have an auction it will hopefully bring in some money. I know not much money but every penny helps for nonprofits. I do need a lot of practice with a latch hook.

Of course,the other crafting I will be doing is crossing stitching. I did cross stitch back in my twenties and really enjoyed doing it. I am not sure why I stopped but I plan to start back up again. I hope to give people a finished product as well as give to local nonprofits who auction off such stuff during a big fundraiser.

Before I forge a friend of mine who is also a neighbor introduced a thing called Diamond Art. It looks intriguing to do as it seems it can take a while to do as there are so many little pieces. I ordered some and am looking forward to doing this Diamond Art.

Of course when I am doing arts or crafts, I will be listening to music or a podcast. Listening to music or podcasts helps me concentrate on being able to focus the text at hand which is Arts and Crafts.

I do not have more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Not going to work due to not feeling well
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Art and crafting while listening to music
  • Reading
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie

Monday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work’
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art and crafts
  • reading
  • spend time with my cat

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art and crafts
  • reading
  • music
  • Spend time with my cat

Thursday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Reading
  • Spend time with my cat

Friday

  • Volunteer with cats
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Art – Coloring
  •  Diamond Art
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Music
  • Spend time with my cat

Saturday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Art – Coloring
  •  Diamond Art
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Music
  • Spend time with my cat

A Middle of the Night Post Regarding Arts & Crafts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the United States of America. I am tired as hell and I am unable to get back to sleep. So, I decided to do a couple of mindfulness meditation practices which help a good portion of the time. I am also going to work on some Diamond Art which is quite fun but challenging at the same time.

Since the mindfulness meditation practice isn’t working this time around, I am listening to music while I am doing some arts and crafts.Art wise I am planning on doing tom coloring as it helps me be in a mindfulness type mind and keeps me focus. As far as the crafting part, I am going to do some cross stitching as well as some latch hooking. I am grateful that I can be creative when I am unable to sleep.

Sadly, I am unable to go to work tomorrow because of the lack of sleep I am having due to insomnia. Thankfully, my supervisor is super supportive. Having a great supervisor is a blessing.

i do not have much more to say in this blog post. Thank yo for reading my blog.

A Mental Health Day Focusing on a Self Care Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is just after ten evening Seattle time and realized that I have been doing some great self care due to the fact that my anxiety, depression and PTSD have been rearing its ugly head. It’s nothing I can’t handle with the help of my self care that I do on the regular basis.

One of the things I do is to do mindfulness meditation to help me keep grounded. Keeping grounded is a much needed thing for me and my anxiety as well my PTSD. Of course eating food on a regular basis is key to my mental health. Other things that help me with my self care is reading which the book I am is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan.Is is an awesome book and I am half through the book. I really enjoy the book. Another self care think I am doing is Sudoku. I love Sudoku. It helps keep my mind sharp. Something that helps me keep calm and at peace as well as given me some hope is music. Of course my cat helps me a great deal with keeping me calm. I don’t have much more to say as I am getting tired and and hungry. I need some food before getting some food. Good night world!

I, So Want to Work Today but Taking a Mental Health Day off Work Way to Take Care of Yourself

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am taking the day off from work today due to the fact I need a mental health day off to do some self care. I started today off by doing a mindfulness meditation and then went for a walk. Not sure what I am going to do for the rest of the day but I hope I can get some reading done as well as listening to some music. Another thing I hope to do is some art down by coloring and doing some crafting by cross stitching as well as diamond art.

I hope to elaborate more when I am not so sleepy. I hope everyone has a good day ahead of them.

Taking a Mental Health Day from Work Tomorrow Wednesday 7/26/23

Posted on by Gertie

Right now I am realizing I am needing to take a mental health day off from work tomorrow Wednesday, July 26th, 23. I feel bad for doing this as I don’t want to put more work on my team however my supervisors and team members understand that taking a mental health day is something that is needed from time to time. I am grateful for my team being so supportive.

I realized I need to take a mental health day when I realized I wasn’t doing my regular self care regiment when my PTSD, Depression and Anxiety starts to act up especially when I don’t make it apart my daily self care or just quit doing it because I start to feel better. I know from experience what I need to do for self care.

I have many things to help me through self care regarding my mental health challenges as well as just everyday life. For one I can cuddle with my beloved cat, Billie. I can always read a book that I am quite enjoying. Another thing I can do is make sure I have food on a regular basis. Of course doing art work by painting, coloring and diamond art. Also I can also do crafting by cross stitching and latch hooking. Listening to music is a great help as well as listening to podcasts. Of course there are my friends I can reach out to and go for walks. Mindfulness Meditation has been a great deal of help to me. My family and friends are of great support. Self care is major in helping yourself so you can be able in staying in recovery.

So I am going to end this particular post for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. It wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early to Be Awaken on A Saturday Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good (very early) Morning, World!!! It is very early in the morning here in Seattle. In fact it is 3:06am in the morning Seattle time and I am tired as hell. I think part of the reason I am awake this early is due to a combination of the symptoms of the Depression, Anxiety and PTSD, I struggle with. Thank goodness, I have the support of my cat, Billie to depend on this earlier in the morning. I know I can call people this early in the morning however and thankfully it is not to that point that I will have to rely on my human friends as it is a mild case at the time. Although, Billie my cat is snoring away on my lap as I write this, I am listening to some music. By the sound of it as well as looking out the window, it is currently raining in Seattle which fits my mood of mild depression.

On the plus part I am looking forward to my Amazon deliveries later today which mainly consist of craft supplies of Diamond Art and Latch Hook stuff. Looking forward to the creativity to come once my apartment is clean. I might order more but I want to make sure I am fully awake and have one more bill to pay off.

That’s all I have to say about this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my very early morning post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my post as if it was not for you the reader, reading my post, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!