Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Ten: Future

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

The future is now.

The future is here.

This is the day we have been waiting for;

The first day of summer;

Known as Summer Solstice.

A time to celebrate.

A time to be aware of what this new season brings us.

Now its time to continue to stand up.

Stand up to the racism that divides this country.

Time to support our friend of color.

The future is NOW.

Challenging Times + Creativity = Peaceful & Positive Messages

At the beginning of the stay at home order with this pandemic of Covid-19, I noticed places like bars and tattoo places boarding up to protect themselves. I noticed that they decided to create the awesome art work of murals. Murals that are extremely beautiful and worth protecting.

For those who are sight impairs I want to remind you that I did add captions to the pictures I posted. I hope you are able to see in your own way this the captions.

A mural created shortly after the stay at home order was in effect; saying “Seattle Strong.” During the protest for George Floyd many people of color and their ally’s stood guard to protecting this lovely art work of a mural.
Another mural done shortly after the stay at home order became in affect.This mural says “Catch you on the flip side.” Again, people of color and their ally’s stood guard of this mural. But sadly some of it got damaged before it was protected.

When the peaceful protest started happen due to the murder of George Floyd may people of color decided that they would protect small businesses no matter what especially the ones with boarded up murals as they felt the message was what our community needed; Peace. Peace that we can all get through this. I love the fact that people of color and ally’s such as myself can march peacefully and to protect each other’s property even if we are not customers for the place of business.

As I end this post I just hope that people of color and their ally’s are doing their best to have peaceful protest in hopes that racism will be start being discussed more especially for white folks me. I say this because I need to have serious conversations with my white friends and have started them. Some didn’t end as well as I had hoped while others ended extremely well. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Two: Face

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Look in the eyes of a person of color;

Let the person know they matter;

Let the person you know you care;

Let the person know you see their pain.

Now look into the mirror;

Look at your face, your white face,

and ask yourself,

“What can I do to help fight racism?”

Look into the eyes of another white person;

Now have a serious conversation about racism,

A conversation on how you and that person will help end racism.

Using My Privilege to Help Change

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am one fucking angry white person. I am angry because it appears me that the only time white people want to discuss anything about race is when something happens like in the case of George Floyd.  I think white people need to talk about the racism in our country everyday and need to figure out how to stop this hatred. It is up to white people to stop the systemic problems that people of color face on the daily basis. We need to have serious discussions on how we as white people can stop racism. It is up to white people to be ally’s to people of color and help them have their voice heard. It is up to us because the assholes in charge aren’t fucking listening.

As I end this post, I hope that white people will discuss how to stop racism. It is up to white people to end racism and NOT people of color to do so. In the coming weeks I have decided to have conversations with my white friends. I realize I could loose friends over such conversations and am willing to do so. I may not want to loose friends but am willing to do so, so I can at least be part of the solution and not the problem.

A Random Wednesday Afternoon Post

Good Afternoon, World!!! At this very moment the symptoms of my Depression and PTSD and am grateful that I am able to nip it in the butt with skills I normally do. Sadly, I am not going to my writing group because I am not feeling well physically which is probably why I am having an increase of Depression and PTSD symptoms. Part of why I am not feeling well is because I according my doctor I have a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection” which sucks and the antibiotic I am taking is making me nauseous. I really don’t like being or feeling sick but at least I am not in the hospital.

Being in the hospital sucks and since we are on the subject of hospitals, my dad is still in one. He is on the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of a local hospital here in the Seattle area. His surgery went well and he is healing well from it. Sadly, my dad has fluid on the lungs and the doctors are trying to get rid of it. My dad has a history of pneumonia and is still in the hospital as a precautionary thing and is receiving IV antibiotics.  My dad is feeling better and wants to go home. He is eating solid food and the doctors say its okay that my dad drinks Diet Mt. Dew. So, I know my dad is feeling better when he wants his Diet Mt. Dew. I just wish the fluid on my dads lungs would hurry up at resolve.

I saw my therapist yesterday (Tuesday) and we discussed my increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and he is in agreement that the increased in symptoms are likely in part to my current health issues with my UTI and kidney infections. We discussed on ways that I could feel better as well as skill I could use to help with my increased mental health symptoms. One of the things my therapist and I discussed was the amount of time I was spending on social media, specifically Facebook because I am just aimlessly scrolling it as a way to help myself but it is becoming more of a hindrance for some of my symptoms. We talked about going on Facebook with a purpose like to post or say hi to someone and limit the time I am on Facebook. We discussed other things I could do instead which led me to having a conversation with my therapist about book suggestions I got from both white and people of color friends about race in America. We discussed that I as a white person one to better understand my white privilege and how I can be a better ally for not only friends but my clients who are people of color. I told him that I am expecting three books about race and racism as well as white privilege at some point today via Amazon. My therapist was “impressed” that I am wanting to improve myself and understanding of race and he “feels” that with me doing this will help me stay off Facebook and build a more meaningful type of structure I need for my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I am wanting to educate myself to understand race, racism and white privilege here in America. We also discussed other ways to structure my time to help with my PTSD and depression symptoms. I really like my therapist and am grateful to have him as a clinician.

I don’t have much more to say. I just hope the books arrive today as “guaranteed” by Amazon so I can get to reading the books I ordered from them. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Wednesday as well as their work week. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am a Human NOT a “Monster”

Good Afternoon, World!!! Earlier this week President Trump did a speech in response to multiple mass shooting here in the United States. He specifically mentioned El Paso, Texas and very briefly mentioned Dayton, Ohio. He angered me a great deal with comments he made about those who have mental health challenges. He did surprise the hell out of me when he condemned racism however I find it hypocritical of him doing so as he entices people to be racist as I personally think he is one whether or not people acknowledge or not.

It appears that most if not all mass shootings that happen here in the United States are done by white males who do not have a diagnosed mental health challenge. It also appears from my perspective that no matter who the president is at the time of a mass shooting that if it is done by a white man everyone tends to go to the person being “mentally ill.” Why don’t we call it what it is, hate toward a particular minority group. We all know if a mass shooting done by a person of color or a Muslim the cops would have automatically considered it terrorism and would have been shot dead. Sadly, since it is white males doing the mass shootings they are not shot dead and it is not considered terrorism when I and many others think it is terrorism. I am sick and tired of people think that those who do mass shootings are mentally ill when that is not the fact. Studies show that only two to five percent of the violent crimes done in this country are done by people who are diagnosed with a mental illness and those who are diagnosed with a mental health challenge are more likely to be the victims of a violent crime than the perpetrator of a violent crime.

Now as far as Trump goes I am angered by what he said in his speech earlier this week in response to the mass shootings. He said that mentally ill are “Twisted Monsters” as well as “Mentally Ill Monsters.” I am sorry President Trump but I am NOT a monster, I am a HUMAN. A human that will not be violent toward anyone else but myself. (Don’t worry I am not currently at risk at harming myself.) President Trump comments like yours just adds more stigma and discrimination toward people with mental health challenges. Mental illness is considered a disability and you call folks with a certain disability “monsters” is not cool and hateful. Sadly, you being hateful toward people that are not like you is nothing new and wish you would stop it however you appear to not give a shit. People with mental health challenges are NOT monsters and we are HUMANS so please respect us.

Okay, I have nothing more to say about this topic. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Kitty Talk Plus Other Stuff

Good Morning, World!!! I was able to get back to sleep after being woken up by my cat early this morning. Lil Gertie did this adorable yet loud meow to wake me up. She woke me up in the middle of a nightmare. A nightmare that is horrific.

I have a job interview today at my previous employer. An interview for a Peer Specialist in their Substance Use Disorder (SUD) program. I am looking forward to the interview. I hope I get the job.

Apparently, Starbucks is closing early today. They are closing early to discuss with their employees about race and racism. It is about fucking time Starbucks discusses this situation. I don’t go into Starbucks because of the employees racist remarks as well as other discriminatory remarks.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Neighbor Drama

Hello, World!!! I witnessed one of my white neighbors be an asshole and call another neighbor the “n” word. This started an argument and the African American neighbor walked away as he didn’t want the arguing to continue. My white neighbor went at him and him so hard in the back he fell to his knees. At this point myself and other witness’s called the police.

The police showed up with the fire department where my African American neighbor not only pressed charges but went to the hospital as precaution. The police took witness statements and two of the neighbors (who are white) attempted to say it was the African American’s fault not the white neighbors fault.

I as a white person attempted to explain to the white witnesses sticking up for the asshole of a neighbor about white privilege. They were trying to argue with me so I stopped the conversation. I did my best to do so to explain what it was. Unfortunately, I think it made things worse.

Who needs a television drama when you have drama in your apartment building. There is never a dull moment in my building. I just wish the drama that happened this evening didn’t happen as someone got hurt. I hate drama.

Thank you for reading. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone. Peace Out, World!!!