Yesterday Was Not a Good Day

Good Morning, World or at least it is three twenty one in the morning in Seattle. Yesterday (Tuesday) was not a good day for me. I ended up in the hospital twice in the Emergency Room due to being suicidal. First time I went in it was four something in morning and was discharged. Thankfully I got home just in time for my psychiatric nurse practitioner called me for our phone appointment, She put me on Ativan which was a good thing.

Being home was not a good thing so I called my therapist who is fairly new to me and appears to be a great therapist. I also called one of the supervisors who happens to be my therapist supervisor. I called the both and left them both an email. The supervisor suggested to go back to the hospital so I did. But the first thing I did was have my grandpa and uncle pick up Billie with his supplies to take to grandpa. My uncle and grandpa dropped me back at the same hospital I was earlier.

On that note they had already did shift change and the social worker on duty was surprised to see me as I’m not going to the Emergency Room for mental health in over four years. Partly glad it was her and partly wish she wasn’t her. She pointed out some stuff I needed to hear which let me come back home. I’m glad she helped me make that decision as I fear if I ended back in a psych ward I most likely would have retreated to old behavior.

As of right now I can’t sleep for unknown reasons so I took an Ativan to help with my anxiety since Billie my cat is with my grandpa and uncle. I know Billie is in good hands but I sure do miss the little dude. Well not so little as he is fifteen and a half pounds. He could loos a few pounds just like I do.

I do not have much to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Mid Afternoon Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far my day is going well and am grateful tomorrow is holiday where I live so it’s a three day weekend. Also on that note my last week at work due to layoffs is only a four day week instead four day week. It is going to be an emotional week but i know I have the support from others.

It being a soggy Sunday in in Seattle, I am mostly staying home reading a book on Star Wars. I also volunteered at PAWS Cat City. Spending time volunteering with cats is so much fun. Another fun thing i get to do is spend the rest of my day with my cat Billie as I read a Star Wars book. I love my cat, I love reading and I love Star Wars.

Now, I am waiting on Grubhub to deliver my late lunch. I ordered my favorite burger which it the Whiskey River Bar-Be-Que burger. It is a good day in Seattle to order in as it’s raining here in Seattle and not the typical drizzle Seattle get.

After I get my food and eating it, I am going to go back to reading the Star Wars book I am reading with Billie, my cat, by my side. It’s great day to just do a do nothing type of day.

I don’t have much more to sat in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It means the world to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Couple of Weeks

Good Morning, World!!! I know it has been a couple of weeks or so since I last posted. I have been struggling quite a bit as of lately. In fact I was in the hospital for a week and got out yesterday (Thursday). I am doing much better that I was when I went into the hospital.

I had a neighbor as well as my grandpa take care of my cat while I was in the hospital. The worst part about being in the hospital was missing my cat. It has been quite nice being home with my cat. My cat hasn’t left my side since I have gotten home which has helped my anxiety a great deal.

I hope to post again soon as I am hungry and am going to eat. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Belated 4th of July Post

Good Morning, World!!! I want to apologize to you my reader for not blogging as much. I have been struggling a great deal with my depression. My depression symptoms appear to have effected me severely enough that I haven’t been blogging.

Since my depression symptoms got in the way of blogging, I wanted to tell you about my 4th of July.  Despite my depression symptoms acting up, I managed to attended the Mariner versus Angel game here in Seattle. I really enjoyed myself with the exception of having Mariner’s fans throwing things at me. Due to having things thrown at me, I received a ticket to another game. I am also happy to say that the Angels won the game.

As for watching fireworks, I watched them at home on the television as I wasn’t sure how Lil Gertie was going to react to them. Lil Gertie didn’t react all that well to the fireworks. She hid in my dirty clothes hamper which is in my closet. She meowed out fear a good portion while fireworks were going off.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Couple Of Days

Hello, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. In all honesty things haven’t been going all that well for me and surprisingly I haven’t been hospitalized. Mainly, because I have been isolating so I won’t do anything. No, I am not currently suicidal nor am at risk of self harming myself. I have been disassociating bad enough that I lost track of my days and missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday.  So, since I missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday, I think it might be a wise decision for me to try to connect with him at some point today.

Due to the dissociation I don’t remember much of this week including yesterday, the first day of summer.  For me the solstice is a major deal especially the summer solstice. It helps me remember to focus on my goals for the year and to see where I am at with my goals. Goals that I wanted to go over with my therapist yesterday with my therapist.

I have an inkling that there is a very small chance of me being hospitalized just for the fact I haven’t been taking care of myself this past week. On a good note I have been taking care of my cat, Lil Gertie. Having an emotional support animal like my cat has been quite helpful for me.  I think, Lil Gertie has been a life savor for me.

I think I am going to go now and call my therapist. I hope everyone has wonderful summer. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! It is nearly six thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods and Lil Gertie woke me up by licking one of my feet. She obviously had a sixth sense of knowing that I was having a nightmare. She has woken me up whenever I have a PTSD nightmare and I didn’t even train her to do so.

Dealing with nightmares is a part of PTSD that I didn’t have to deal with however it is something I have to deal with. I have learned various was on how to deal with the after affects of a nightmare. Now that I have an emotional support animal in Lil Gertie I can depend on her for help. Just one more thing I can do is depend on my cat, Lil Gertie.

I realize it seems like I talk a great deal about Lil Gertie, lately. It is just that she has helped me so much in the last nearly a month of having her. She has been a great support for me especially during PTSD moments as well as after them.

I am planning on attending art group later on today. I love art group for many reasons. Reasons that I have informed my therapist about. In return he encourages me to attend. I am hoping we do some collaging in art group today.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Just A Check-In

Good Morning, World!!! I noticed that I haven’t been blogging as much. I’m not sure why but I will attempt to make an effort to post at least once a day like I have been. I just don’t want to leave you my reader hanging or left out in the dark.

I was playing with my cat and she accidentally scratched me. She attempted to clean my wounds when I was dabbing my little bloody scratches. I love my cat and her personality.  She is a cute little cat who is acutely aware of what is going on with me emotionally.

I don’t have much to discuss right now. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!

Mr. Sandman, Where Are You?

Good Morning, World!!! I have yet to get to sleep despite trying. Lil Gertie has been helping me through some anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks that can be debilitating. I don’t think my anxiety is causing me to not sleep however it something to discuss with my therapist.

I have been reading as this time of morning there is nothing on and don’t feel like doing much of anything else. I have been reading a book I put down a few months ago and decided to start reading it again.

I am thinking I am going to get going as I want to try to get some sleep before I need to get up. I just wish I knew were Mr. Sandman was so I could sleep. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Some Random Thoughts

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am trying to type and Lil Gertie is apparently the one wanting to post. I love having a cat that is so lovey dovey.  Having Lil Gertie as an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful for me. I think I would have ended up back in the Emergency Room for self harm thoughts if it weren’t for her. Yes, I know it’s a lot to put on a cat but she is doing her job. A job of preventing me from self harm and/or going in and out of the emergency room for thoughts of self harm. (Side Note: No I don’t feel like self harming at the moment nor am I suicidal.)

I have been scrap booking some of the day. I have even painted in one of my scrapbooks. I have found that putting together scrap books have a god send to me with helping the self harm urges. I say this as putting together scrap books helps me remember the good things in my life.

I talked with my grandpa today. He is on a trip and having a fun time. When he gets back from his trip, we will go out to eat as we normally do every week. I love spending time with my grandpa.

I don’t have much else to say. Have a wonderful evening. Peace out, world!!!

Just A Bunch Of Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I wonder at times on how many people really read my blog and if it is worth continuing to blog. I know it is worth continuing to blog, I am just having my doubts at the moment.

On a good note Lil Gertie is purring up a storm. She has been by my side most of the night. She slept right next to me. I love my cat so much. I am thrilled that I got her.

Right now, living with a mental health condition is driving me bonkers. It is driving me bonkers because of all the doubting I am having about myself. Doubting that I know is related to some old stinking thinking. Stinking thinking that sucks and I know that I will have to stop it as soon as possible or it could get worse for me.

Today, I am not sure exactly what I am going to do. I just felt like blogging at the moment. I think I’ll work on my workbooks for the good portion of the day. I also think I am going to be doing some scrap booking today. Both activities have been quite helpful for me and my thinking.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!