Tough Evening/Night

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing W/Grandma In Hospice Care

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been dealing with my grandma and her being in hospice care. It hasn’t been the easiest ordeal for me or my family. My dad isn’t taking it all that well. I wish I knew how to help him though besides just being a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. He is trying his best to be of support to me as well.

Something that helped today was therapy. I saw Gilbert today. We discussed my grandma and her being in hospice. I just broke down crying and Gilbert gave me a box of Kleenex and let me cry. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Therapy was pretty much the only productive thing I’ve done all day. The other things I have done is blog, color, read and watched TedTalks. Blogging helps me process shit while coloring helps me express emotions. Reading and watching TedTalks help me get out of my head. Maybe I’ll talk about the TedTalks later.

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Another Early Awaking W/Something To Do

Happy Friday, World!!! I didn’t sleep all that well last night. I woke up from a nightmare as well as feeling slightly more depressed. A depression I’m not too worried about because I realize its there and I see my therapist Gilbert today.

Since, I’ve been awake and up since three o’clock this morning with only three hours of sleep I decided to do some reading. I, of course love the book I am reading and grateful that its a trilogy. I love book series.

Another thing I did was to go through my memory card from my camera to start the photography one course WordPress offers for free. I have found some fond memories and some weird photos wonder why I took them. I’m glad I did this as helped my PTSD a little bit.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

 

Small Freak Out + Reality Check = DBT Skills

Good Afternoon, World!! I was starting to freak out about my grandma still being in the hospital. Actually, I was freaking out when nobody was answering their phone and told by a nurse on the phone that my grandma’s nurse was dealing with an emergency. So, I thanked the nurse and called my great aunt. She gave me the reality check I needed and told me my grandma was okay. She then informed to do things that help me and asked me to tell her what I was going to do.

I informed my great aunt that I would blog about what I was going to do while listening to music. Than I would do some art and read. My great aunt suggest I play my flute. Or at least my grandma’s favorite song I know on the flute to feel close to my grandma till I talk to her on the phone.

So, I’m now doing my plan to help me get through a rough moment. Thank you for putting up with me. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Happy February

Good Morning, World!!! Its a typical drizzly morning in Seattle. I woke up early so I could have a fresh hot breakfast on the table when he get home from a long 24-hour shift as a firefighter. I made him banana pancakes and scrambled eggs with hot chocolate. Junior was thrilled that I made him breakfast and even more thrilled that I didn’t burn the house down when I made him breakfast.

After breakfast Junior and I had quite the intimate moment. We made love to our favorite music. More or less we had sex to our “love songs” play list. Music that turns both of us on and has our love making time last a tad bit longer. It was very pleasurable  moment for the both of us.

After our intimate moment, Junior decided he is going to take a nap. As he is napping, I decided to blog. After blogging I tend to read. As many of you know I love reading and am enjoying the science fiction book I am reading.

I should get going as I want to get to reading my book. Have a great day everyone. Enjoy your lovely February and Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up depressed this morning. Waking up depressed just has me being acutely aware of what I need to do to be actively acting in my recovery.

Knowing that waking up depressed can put me in a tailspin, I have to be aware on what I need to do to not end up in a tailspin. So I started with my usual morning routine by having some tea and reading the news paper. I then made myself some breakfast. I made myself some French toast and scrambled eggs. I enjoyed my breakfast.

After enjoying my breakfast I decided to do some art. I mainly colored and collaging. Coloring helps me a great deal. As mention I did some collaging. I ended collaging three poems. I love when I am able to be creative like that.

Collaging reminded me that reading helps as well. So I read a few chapters in my book. I really am enjoying the book. A book that has helped me get out of my head.

Speaking of get out, I need to get going. I have to get ready as I have therapy today. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Using Skills To Help Me Through

Good Evening, World!! I’m just getting home from a busy afternoon and evening. I first went and saw my therapist, Gilbert. I am slowly starting to trust him. We discussed how things are changing once again with my treatment team and I’m not sure if I’m okay with it but its something I’ll have to get use to.

We also discussed my grandma and how she is in the hospital. She is in the hospital due to Parkinson’s related health issues. She will be going into hospice care within the next few months and my dad isn’t taking it all that well. My dad is a mama’s boy. Its difficult knowing that my grandma may not make it to the end of 2018.

I should get going and eat dinner. I hope everyone has a wonderful work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed = No Fun

Good Morning, World!!! Waking up in a depressive mode is not my idea of fun. So, I did my normal morning routine with reading the news paper and having some tea. I then decided to turn on the King 5 morning news. The saddest news story is my favorite comic book store Zanadu is closing. Its been in icon in Seattle for 42 years. Its always the small businesses that are leaving. We need to support small business’s more.

On that note, I’m reading my Ship of Magic book once I am done blogging here. I really love reading and am happy that I am in a place where I am able to be in a space to be able to read now.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also  hope everyone has a great work week Peace Out, World!!!

Not A So Good Night

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not having the best of nights. Nightmares are not my idea of a fun way to wake up any time. Dealing with trauma is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with especially the after effects of the initial trauma. Dealing with trauma is something a person will deal with the rest of their lives.

For me right now, dealing with my PTSD symptoms, I’ve been reading. Reading a great deal. Specifically, I am reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I think if it wasn’t for reading I would be stuck in my head dealing with the undesired events of my past.

As much as reading helps I really need to have a way to process. That’s where blogging comes in. So thank you for allowing me to process even though its so vague.

I think I’m going to go and read. Thank you for reading my blog in the middle of the night. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

11 O’clock New Turned Off & Back To Reading

Hello, World!!! I was watching the eleven o’clock news and realized I needed to turn it off. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about President Trump and how much of a jerk he is. I don’t understand why he thinks everything is fake news. Granted the news can hold some things back or misinform however if all news sources but one are “fake” then something is not right with President Trump. I have a few friends who call Trump, President Cheetohead and I have to agree I can Mr. Trump that on occasion.

If it wasn’t for all the negative news about Trump I wouldn’t have turned of the news as I’m getting tired of his derogatory comments. I turned off the news and started reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying this book. It appears that I’m going to be reading the next book in the trilogy which is called Mad Ship. I am so grateful that when the new becomes triggering that I can turn it off and do something else like reading.

Thank you for reading. Its greatly appreciated. Have a good night and I hope you sleep well. Peace out, World!!!