Tag Archives: Reading

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I sit here I am struggling to write while listening to music. Music that is helping lessen my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused by the not so lovely PTSD. PTSD that is causing slight depression however I am using skills to fight it off. Mainly, I am reading (and blogging).

Something that I am looking forward to is that the Winter Olympics start today. I love how the Olympics bring the world together. I am not sure what event I am looking forward the most but am looking forward to it.

I think I’m going go and read now. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far today has been a good day. The interview I had today went really well. I’m on what they call “the short list” and it is with my former employer. I so want to go back work especially with my former employer.

One of the questions I was asked both yesterday and today was about what I did for self care. I told them I loved to do art. Specifically, painting, collaging, and coloring. I should them one of my haiku poem collages and they were impressed.

I also informed them that I love to read. I was asked today who my favorite author is and favorite genre. I said Orson Scott Card and it is a tie between Sci Fi, Fantasy and Mystery. I think that helped break the ice a little today.

I told the interviewers in both interviews that I start and end the day with a mindfulness and/or meditation practice. I told them that it helps me stay focused and helps me remain calm throughout the day. Hell, it helps me sleep.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated on my end. Happy Hump Day and Peace Out World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle & Middle of Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World. Ugh, I am unable to sleep. I’m unable to sleep because of insomnia and being worried about my grandma. Being worried about my grandma is what has helped me use my DBT skills.

Skills that are helping me do the one of the photography courses WordPress does for free. I’ve realized through this that I like photography. Some of the assignments I already have pictures while others I have to go out and take pictures. Most of my pictures are taken right here in Seattle while others are taken in other parts of Washington. I, of course explain where the pictures are taken if they are not in Seattle.

Another thing that has been helping me is reading. I’ve been reading a history text book. I’m finding that really interesting. I have also been reading the book I’ve been talking about for the last week or two. I’m loving the book.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Processing Grandma Being In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I wish Junior was not working for a multitude of reasons. Main reason is to help me through the fact that my grandma is in hospice care. But he has to work to pay his bills.

Having my grandma in hospice is really difficult for me and my family. Something that has been helpful to be are my DBT skills. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It’s been helping me get out of head. Art has been helpful to me as a way to express my emotions. A way to not explode on myself or anyone else. Blogging has been helpful to process all this stuff.

I don’t deal well with painful emotions and my grandma being in hospice is quite challenging. She is aware of what is going on about eighty percent of the time which makes it that much more difficult. I love my grandma and hope she doesn’t suffer.

Thank you for reading my depressing post. I hope everyone has a good night. Enjoy the Superbowl tomorrow for those of you that live in the United States. Peace Out, World!!

Unproductive Day & Unable to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

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Hello, World!!! I’ve been unproductive today and unable to sleep. Or at least I feel like I’ve been unproductive despite the things I’ve done today. The picture above is one of the many things I’ve done today. I may not be finished with it but I say I was successful with my art today since I started the picture today.

Another thing I did was read. I read the book I’ve been reading for a while and am still enjoying the book a great deal. Below is a what I am reading.

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Another thing I did was watch a handful of TedTalks. I watched some on race as well as those who live with autism. Here are my notes on two of them. One is about Autism and the other about race.

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds

  • Autism is a continuum
  • To understand Autism is to think pictures.
  • Visual learning is key
  • Pattern Thinkers: Music and math minds
  • Verbal minds: Poor at drawing.
  • Photo Realistic Thinks: Poor at Algebra
  • Autistics tend to be fixated on one certain  thing

Color Blind or Color Brave

  • Race is a risky topic to talk about
  • The first step in taking action is awareness
  • Racial discrimination is bad for business
  • Color blindness means ignoring the problem
  • We have to be “color brave” by being willing to have open discussions about race.
  • Observe your environment
  • Speak up

Thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening/Night

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing W/Grandma In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been dealing with my grandma and her being in hospice care. It hasn’t been the easiest ordeal for me or my family. My dad isn’t taking it all that well. I wish I knew how to help him though besides just being a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. He is trying his best to be of support to me as well.

Something that helped today was therapy. I saw Gilbert today. We discussed my grandma and her being in hospice. I just broke down crying and Gilbert gave me a box of Kleenex and let me cry. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Therapy was pretty much the only productive thing I’ve done all day. The other things I have done is blog, color, read and watched TedTalks. Blogging helps me process shit while coloring helps me express emotions. Reading and watching TedTalks help me get out of my head. Maybe I’ll talk about the TedTalks later.

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Another Early Awaking W/Something To Do

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! I didn’t sleep all that well last night. I woke up from a nightmare as well as feeling slightly more depressed. A depression I’m not too worried about because I realize its there and I see my therapist Gilbert today.

Since, I’ve been awake and up since three o’clock this morning with only three hours of sleep I decided to do some reading. I, of course love the book I am reading and grateful that its a trilogy. I love book series.

Another thing I did was to go through my memory card from my camera to start the photography one course WordPress offers for free. I have found some fond memories and some weird photos wonder why I took them. I’m glad I did this as helped my PTSD a little bit.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

 

Small Freak Out + Reality Check = DBT Skills

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!! I was starting to freak out about my grandma still being in the hospital. Actually, I was freaking out when nobody was answering their phone and told by a nurse on the phone that my grandma’s nurse was dealing with an emergency. So, I thanked the nurse and called my great aunt. She gave me the reality check I needed and told me my grandma was okay. She then informed to do things that help me and asked me to tell her what I was going to do.

I informed my great aunt that I would blog about what I was going to do while listening to music. Than I would do some art and read. My great aunt suggest I play my flute. Or at least my grandma’s favorite song I know on the flute to feel close to my grandma till I talk to her on the phone.

So, I’m now doing my plan to help me get through a rough moment. Thank you for putting up with me. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!