Getting Sleepy

Hello, World!!! It’s nine thirty at night in my corner of the world. I am getting sleepy as I read my book. A book that I am immensely enjoying. A book I don’t want to put down however if I can get some sleep I am willing to put the book down. I’m thinking sleep is on the horizon for me.

Thank you for reading. I hope I am able to sleep tonight. Goodnight, World!!!

Monday Morning Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! If you read my first to blogs of the day, you would know that I had trouble sleeping. Hell, I got no sleep whatesoever but that didn’t stop be from trying to do what I needed to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself during sleepless nights looks different each night however there is some common ground; DBT skills. Using my DBT skills helps me with various things in my life such as not sleeping.

One of the skills of the things I did last night was read. I read a History text book. I am finding it quite interesting. I love history. It was one of my favorite subjects in school.

Another thing I did last night was some art. I painted. On some of my paintings I also did some collaging as well.

As I read and did art I listen to music which helped me. Music helped by soothing me. I love music.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t got any sleep however I am looking forward to the day ahead. I am going to be go seeing my grandma later this morning. I love my grandma so much and wish she was not in home hospice care. She is home hospice due Parkinson’s Disease relate issues. It is quite painful to see her this way but at least she is mentally aware of things. She still has her sense of humor. A sense of humor that I will always remember.

As difficult as having my grandma being in hospice this where I know that my DBT skills will come in handy for me. Skills that have been quite helpful for me in the past and will be helpful for me in the present as well as the future.

Art has been helpful for me to express the emotions that are difficult to express while music speaks when words fail. Reading gets me out of my head to help me escape reality for an hour.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh*t

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up from a nightmare that ended up being a screaming nightmare. Screaming so loud my neighbors got worried and called the police. The police came and did a welfare check on me. They showed up and I informed them of what happened and they left.

Since they left I’ve been reading. I have been reading a History text book as well as the fantasy novel I’ve been reading for a while now. I was hoping I could go back to sleep with the reading however I have been unable to do so. I am hoping that blogging would be helpful.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! As, I sit here I am struggling to write while listening to music. Music that is helping lessen my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused by the not so lovely PTSD. PTSD that is causing slight depression however I am using skills to fight it off. Mainly, I am reading (and blogging).

Something that I am looking forward to is that the Winter Olympics start today. I love how the Olympics bring the world together. I am not sure what event I am looking forward the most but am looking forward to it.

I think I’m going go and read now. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far today has been a good day. The interview I had today went really well. I’m on what they call “the short list” and it is with my former employer. I so want to go back work especially with my former employer.

One of the questions I was asked both yesterday and today was about what I did for self care. I told them I loved to do art. Specifically, painting, collaging, and coloring. I should them one of my haiku poem collages and they were impressed.

I also informed them that I love to read. I was asked today who my favorite author is and favorite genre. I said Orson Scott Card and it is a tie between Sci Fi, Fantasy and Mystery. I think that helped break the ice a little today.

I told the interviewers in both interviews that I start and end the day with a mindfulness and/or meditation practice. I told them that it helps me stay focused and helps me remain calm throughout the day. Hell, it helps me sleep.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated on my end. Happy Hump Day and Peace Out World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle & Middle of Night Ramblings

Hello, World. Ugh, I am unable to sleep. I’m unable to sleep because of insomnia and being worried about my grandma. Being worried about my grandma is what has helped me use my DBT skills.

Skills that are helping me do the one of the photography courses WordPress does for free. I’ve realized through this that I like photography. Some of the assignments I already have pictures while others I have to go out and take pictures. Most of my pictures are taken right here in Seattle while others are taken in other parts of Washington. I, of course explain where the pictures are taken if they are not in Seattle.

Another thing that has been helping me is reading. I’ve been reading a history text book. I’m finding that really interesting. I have also been reading the book I’ve been talking about for the last week or two. I’m loving the book.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Processing Grandma Being In Hospice Care

Good Evening, World!!! I wish Junior was not working for a multitude of reasons. Main reason is to help me through the fact that my grandma is in hospice care. But he has to work to pay his bills.

Having my grandma in hospice is really difficult for me and my family. Something that has been helpful to be are my DBT skills. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It’s been helping me get out of head. Art has been helpful to me as a way to express my emotions. A way to not explode on myself or anyone else. Blogging has been helpful to process all this stuff.

I don’t deal well with painful emotions and my grandma being in hospice is quite challenging. She is aware of what is going on about eighty percent of the time which makes it that much more difficult. I love my grandma and hope she doesn’t suffer.

Thank you for reading my depressing post. I hope everyone has a good night. Enjoy the Superbowl tomorrow for those of you that live in the United States. Peace Out, World!!

Unproductive Day & Unable to Sleep

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Hello, World!!! I’ve been unproductive today and unable to sleep. Or at least I feel like I’ve been unproductive despite the things I’ve done today. The picture above is one of the many things I’ve done today. I may not be finished with it but I say I was successful with my art today since I started the picture today.

Another thing I did was read. I read the book I’ve been reading for a while and am still enjoying the book a great deal. Below is a what I am reading.

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Another thing I did was watch a handful of TedTalks. I watched some on race as well as those who live with autism. Here are my notes on two of them. One is about Autism and the other about race.

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds

  • Autism is a continuum
  • To understand Autism is to think pictures.
  • Visual learning is key
  • Pattern Thinkers: Music and math minds
  • Verbal minds: Poor at drawing.
  • Photo Realistic Thinks: Poor at Algebra
  • Autistics tend to be fixated on one certain  thing

Color Blind or Color Brave

  • Race is a risky topic to talk about
  • The first step in taking action is awareness
  • Racial discrimination is bad for business
  • Color blindness means ignoring the problem
  • We have to be “color brave” by being willing to have open discussions about race.
  • Observe your environment
  • Speak up

Thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!