Tag Archives: Therapy

Some Midnight Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am having trouble sleeping at the moment and am a little goofy at the moment due to my sleep medicine. I know my last two post was about my mental health appointments and I have a feeling that is where this post is going to go but I will attempt for it to not be one hundred percent about my mental health appointments.

I am just extremely please that my recovery is progressing well and in the direction that is positive. I am also grateful that my therapist and I came up with some great coping skills as well as some great self care strategies. Most have to deal with art. I love doing art.

Speaking of art, I have been doing some art since I am unable to sleep. I started of my coloring and then realized I wanted to do something a little be more creative. I then started to do a painting which is including some collaging. I am make this particular art work for my neighbor who lives across the hall from me. He has become a good friend to me. We both look out for each other and no it is not a romantic relationship.

I am really grateful for my therapist and how much he has helped me the last eight or so months. He has helped me practice some of my coping skills and has taught me some new coping skills. He has be one of the best therapist I have had.

I think I need to do some good self care by attempting to go back to bed so I can sleep. I hope everyone has a good night sleep. I would like to thank you once again for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

More About My Therapy Session Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post, I said I would try to post more about my therapy session I had today (Tuesday). So, here it goes. We discussed a great deal during our session and how I will cope with the Christmas holiday.

First we discussed what type of self care I would do for myself when I am celebrating with my dad’s side of the family. We came of with various coping skills and self care strategies I can do when I am celebrating Christmas with my dad’s side and for me it was easy to come up with coping skills for my dad’s side.

Now on to my mom’s side, it was a little more difficult because I normally stay in a hotel when I go see my mom however this year I am unable to afford one this year. So that means I will be staying with my mom who is unfortunately in active addiction to heroin.  So, of course part of my good self care plan is to bring along some Naloxone (aka Narcan) as a precaution so if my mom does overdose on Heroin I can administrate it to her as I call 911. Some other coping skills and self care options I will be doing at my mom’s is of course taking my laptop, art supplies and reading material. I am not sure if I will have access to WiFi when I am at my moms but there might be chance I could find an open network or ask one of her neighbors if I can use theirs. My mom also has a bathtub so I will be taking a nice long bath as I don’t have a bathtub and only have a shower. If worse comes to worse I stay at my uncles place who lives next door to my mom. My therapist discussed taking some self soothing items with me and is going to help me through this week with check ins to see how I am doing with my coping plan especially when it comes to dealing with my mom.

I don’t have much more to say about my appointment with my therapist but if I do remember more stuff I will post it if need be. I really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. I hope you all have great rest of your Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Brief Description of My Mental Health Appointments Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a long and productive day. I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner this morning and she has noticed the progress that I have been making in recent months and that she “has noticed all the progress.” We discussed how things have been going for me regarding my many diagnosis and she agrees with me that things appear to be going well with me that no med change is necessary and that once spring gets closer that we will discuss a decrease in meds. We also discussed how my sleep was at the moment and told her that I am getting more sleep but it is all broken up.  We also discussed that my voice are pretty much gone for the moment and that they still say stuff from time to time but it is only whispers and not all that often.

I also say my therapist today. We discussed a great deal about the progress that I have made and the type of coping skills I can continue to use to help me with the continued progress. We also discussed coping skills and a self care plan regarding the Christmas holiday quickly approaching as well as the grief I am dealing with as this is the first holiday without my grandma. I also discussed with him how my voices are mostly nonexistent at the moment. I told him that when I do hear the voices it is only whispers in times of stress.  I have so much more to say about my session with my therapist and would love to say more  but right now, I am really hungry and hope to post again later on this evening if not sometime tonight or tomorrow about it. I do know that he will check in on me on via phone on Friday the 21st, Monday the 24th and Wednesday the 26th before I see him for an appointment on Friday the 28th. I really like my therapist and he is checking in with me to be proactive and preventative. He wants to make sure I continue to make progress.

I really need to get going so I can get something to eat. I hope to post more about my session later on this evening. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has great rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Great News On The Therapy Front

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I wanted to give you some great news that received in therapy yesterday (Tuesday) but first I need to give you some background to help you understand the great news. So, the agency I am a client of has this “level system” depending on the type of needs and care you are in need of. Level one is the level of highest need and it is based on some number algorithm system based a series of questions that the therapist answers and then the clients answers. So, when the agency put this “new model” into place I scored at a 42 three times in a nine month period of time which kept me at level one. When my current therapist did this past summer my score decreased to a 39 which is a good thing but still kept me at a level one. When we did the survey yesterday my score decrease to a 33 which puts me into a level to but since level ones are technically 39 and above and I just got to a below level one category and it can be based at the clinicians discretion and clients preference  to go down the level. So, even though I am technically a level two I can still be considered a level one and remain with a level one clinician to see if I am able to maintain being a level two and to continue to improve. My therapist says if I am able to maintain and continue to improve, there is high likely that I will have to change clinicians but it won’t happen for another six months or so and I will be able to see him for a month after the official transfer to a new clinician to help with the transition. If I maintain and continue to get better which I hope I do, I most likely will have to change therapist once again sometime between the months of April and June. As much as I like my therapist and don’t want to change therapist at least I know I am improving well enough that I don’t need as much care as I did this time last year. As much as I don’t want to change therapist and even though I am only six points away from being technically a level one I have to be acutely aware that I don’t self sabotage to keep my therapist. I need to remain focused on continuing to improve and hopefully be able to get a level four. I am excited that I am technically a level two and am very happy with my progress. I am proud of myself.

On that note, today (Wednesday) I am taking my cat, Lil Gertie, to the groomers. I am not sure how she is going to react and am fearful she won’t do well at the groomers. My biggest fear is her escaping. I don’t know what I would do if she escaped and couldn’t find her especially from the groomers. I know I am probably high anxiety for no reason but this is my fur baby I am talking about. I just don’t want her to be traumatized. She has been through enough in her life. She is starting to get little mats despite me brushing and combing her as well as her being a short haired cat. I love Lil Gertie and want the best for her.

Well, I have wrote enough for now and do not have much more to say in this post. I really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Yucky Weather + Depression = Desire to Isolate

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get much sleep last night but I did get more than the night before. Getting sleep is key to helping the symptoms of the mental health challenges I face. Yes, I may have gotten slightly more sleep last night and it is helping my mood just in the slightest, I just don’t think it is exactly enough to help beat off the depression symptoms.

I don’t think it is enough to be off the depression symptoms because it is the time of year they get worse and well the typical yucky Seattle weather ain’t helping much. In fact the weather today, I think is making the symptoms a little bit worse. Worse in a sense that I am wanting to isolate. Part of is cause of the weather while the other part is due to the depression symptoms which both really suck today.

As much as I want to isolate today, I am unable to do so because I have two appointments today. One with my therapist which is much need and the other is with my employment specialist. I really need my therapy today even though I really do not want to go, mainly because of my depressive symptoms and a little to do with the yucky Seattle weather. No matter how I feel, I need to attend both appointments today due it will ultimately help my recovery. All I can say is the depression suck shit.

I don’t have much else to say in this post so I think I am going to end it for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciate it from my end of things as well as from the bottom of my heart. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys their day. Peace Out, World!!!

500 Followers

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today, I received my 500th follower here on my blog. It has taken me quite awhile to get to my 500th follower but I am beyond grateful to have any followers at all. In fact May of 2019 will mark five years since I started blogging. So, I feel like an average of 100 followers per year is a good number.

Besides getting my 500th follower I went into my local mental health agencies day treatment today as I had nothing better to do. Part of the reason why I went today was because I wanted to attend the Open Communication Group. I feel like it could and will be helpful to attend this group. I attended it today and enjoyed it even though it was on a topic I had to go to a training about for work. To bad I couldn’t get paid to attend the group. Another thing that I did at the mental health agency I am a client of was have a brief check in with my therapist. I had a handful of rough moments today and thought a check in was needed. Thankfully, my therapist was available for a check in or I would have had to have a check in with the on call clinician. My therapist and I discussed what was the cause of the rough moments and came up with a plan to do some good self care.

Well, I was asked today if I could work tomorrow night (Thursday) and I said yes. I really don’t want to work tomorrow (Thursday) and have already done my one on call shift for the month of November but I need the extra money for holiday gifts for my friends and family. Plus, it helps with getting good references when I start applying for new jobs within the next month or two. I might apply for one on Friday but not sure yet. I really cant handle this on call stuff especially when it is a night shift. So since I work tomorrow (Thursday) night, I will attempt to pull an all niter tonight so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Thursday).

I don’t have much more to say in this particular post. I just want to thank you all for following my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Nothing But The Boring Shit I Did Today

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a busy Tuesday for me. I had a three appointments today which I am all grateful for. They just wore me out.

I, first had an appointment with my regular doctor for our every two week check up. This is to help keep me out of the Emergency Room for both physical health and mental health stuff. Unfortunately, my next appointment with my doctor is going to me for my oh so not very lovely yearly exam. At least I’m not forty yet so I don’t have to worry about a mammogram as of right now.

I then saw my therapist for our weekly session and it well. We discussed a lot of topic regarding family and holidays. For me that is what needs to be discussed to help me put in a good self care. For me doing self care is especially important any time of the but more so during the holidays. So my therapist and I are going to come up with more ways for good way for me to do good self care when I am at my families places during the holidays.

I then saw my employment specialist. We specifically discussed my job and how it wasn’t turning out like I thought it would be. I’m not guaranteed a shift every week. It is an on call position that is at night. If I had a regular schedule with a I night shift I think I would be fine with it but it is not a regular shift so my employment specialist and I are looking for other jobs for me at the moment. We found one that would be great for me for now. Since my flash drive broke I have to rebuild my resume which is okay for me.

I am attempting to keep this post short as I am sleepy. I hope everyone has had a good Tuesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow (Wednesday). Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bullshit of Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is the Sunday after Thanksgiving and this year Thanksgiving was difficult for my family and I as it is the first holiday season with out my grandma. When my grandpa said the prayer before we ate dinner on Thanksgiving he broke down crying which led me to cry.

Speaking of grandpa, he had knee surgery a few weeks ago and right now, I am taking care of him as neither one of my uncles are able to do so at the moment due to them both having to work. It is nice to be able to help him as needed. It is also nice to spend some time with him in general as he is 88 years old. For being 88 years old he is relatively good health with the exception of his recent knee surgery.

Speaking of health, I did see my doctor nearly two weeks ago. She put me on on some antibiotics due to having an abscessed tooth. Unfortunately, I needed to go to the Emergency Room the next day to get my tooth taken out. Good thing the hospital I normally go to is a teaching hospital with a dental school. I see my doctor again this Tuesday as we have appointments every two weeks to help keep me out of the hospital for both physical and mental health.

Speaking of mental health I finally saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner as she kept cancelling due to family emergencies and a death in the family. She apologized profusely about the many cancellations however I was quite understanding of the reasons why. She and I discussed my mental health as well as my psych meds. I informed her overall my meds were working except the new sleeping med which she increased. We also discussed not being able to see my therapist due to him being out sick for three weeks. She informed me that if he wasn’t back the week after Thanksgiving to give her a call to see what she could do about me seeing someone on the interim bases.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to call my psychiatric nurse practitioner regarding as my therapist came back last week, the week of Thanksgiving. I was able to see my therapist the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We discussed a great deal regarding him being gone, my grief regarding it being the first holidays without my grandma and the upcoming holidays and how difficult they are for me due to trauma. Since my therapist is back even though part time we are working on ways to help me get through them. So my next session we are going specifically working on self care tactics so I can stay out of the hospital for psych reasons including the Emergency Room.

As the holidays are upon us, I am thinking on what I am going to give my family for the holidays. I haven’t decided yet but I think I am going to give my dads side a picture of my grandma and my moms side some hand made gifts. I highly dislike giving things that will only be exchanged for something else or gifted out to someone else.

I don’t have much else to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that I have people who read my blog on the regular basis. To you I am the most grateful for. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season even though I know it is challenging for many folks. I hope you all have a wonderful work week as well. Have good rest of your evening. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Officially Dead Turkey Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! And to everyone in the United States, Happy Dead Turkey Day, also known as Thanksgiving Day. I find myself awake at this hour in the morning due to insomnia. I have taken my Melatonin, sleeping meds and some sleepy time tea. I have also listened to some sleeping time meditation to help me sleep but it appears nothing is helping at the moment.

I’m not going to lie, today is the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed away and it is going to be a difficult one. Or at least I expect it to be a difficult one for me and my dad’s side of the family especially for my grandfather. As worried as I am on how I am going to handle today with the emotions that the holidays normally brings to me, I worry about the grief that not only will be happening to me but to my family. I just want to make sure I am able to hold my emotions together for my family and let my emotions go when I am not around my family.

I do have a good self care plan in place specifically for Thanksgiving as my therapist and I came up with one during our session this past Tuesday. My therapist may have still not been feeling better but I am grateful that he is back even if its for part time for the rest of the year. He appears to be the type of person who is rarely out sick but am grateful that he is back. I just wish he was feeling at 100%. I am going to start seeing him twice a week till mid January to help me through the holidays. We might do the two sessions a week till the end of February since my grandma passed away in mid-February and her birthday was in mid January. He just wants to makes sure I continue to stay stable and improve. All he is asking for right now is to stay stable like I am at the moment. But with now pressure.

I am so grateful for you my reader. Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great Thanksgiving Day. Have a wonderful day all. Peace Out, World!!!

The Evening Before Thanksgiving

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Long time not blog. I can give you plenty of reasons why I haven’t posted in a while as well as plenty of excuses and have decided I won’t bore you with them. I’ll just go straight into what I am going to post about.

The last few weeks have been filled with anxiety. They have been filled with anxiety because my therapist was out of the office for three weeks due to health problems and finally came back this past Monday (11/19/2018). He still still didn’t look like he was feeling all that well when I saw him yesterday (Tuesday). But at least I was able to see him for a session without seeing him in almost a month. I had an extreme case of anxiety that my therapist wouldn’t becoming back due to health reason after what happened with Diana. Even though my therapist is back only part time due to his health issues, I am glad he is feeling well enough to be back. I just wish he was feeling back to his normal. But at least I will be seeing him weekly just as long as his doctors continue to say it is okay for him to work.

Another thing that has been causing me a great deal of stress for me is that my psychiatric nurse practitioner kept canceling on me due to a family emergency and a death in the family and I had ran out of refills for meds. But thankfully she refilled them before leaving to go to the funeral. I was finally able to see her last Thursday (November 15, 2018). She upped my new sleeping med and even with the increased, it still isn’t helping me fall asleep as quickly as I would like. At least the Melatonin appears to be helping me stay asleep.

Something else that I am not sure I have  mentioned but my regular doctor has been seeing me every two weeks as a precautionary thing to help me stay out of the Emergency Room (E.R) for both physical and mental health reasons. It appears to be helping. In my opinion it has been quite helpful.

Unfortunately, I did end up in the E.R last Wednesday (11/14/2018) due to an abscessed tooth. Thankfully, they were able to get the Dental Resident over from the Dental school to take care of the tooth and pull it. I am now on antibiotics for three weeks due to the severity of the infection.

On that note, I have been dealing with anxiety regarding the upcoming holidays. It is not just the anxiety I am dealing with in regards to the holidays, I have been dealing with the grief of this being the first holiday season without my grandma. I just wish the anxiety wasn’t so bad especially with the added grief. The one thing that has been quite helpful with the anxiety is my cat. She has been laying on my chest as I sit in my chair when I am high anxiety. She does this to help me focus on my breath. I find it quite helpful that she does this even though it hurts my boobs.

Well, I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope that I can post more often and not let things get in the way. Again, thank you so very much for reading my post. If I don’t post tomorrow, I want to wish everyone in the United States a very Happy Thanksgiving. Peace Out, World!!!