More Tuesday Randomness

Hello, once again, World!!! As I mentioned to you in my last two post I slept most of the day due to being in the hospital most of the night last night. Well, I am still quite sleepy and might go to be early. It is only 8:45 in the evening in my corner of the world. So after I am done posting this post I might call it a night.

As many tomorrow is Wednesday and I have a busy day. My day will start with me going to a phone bank to volunteer. Yes, I said phone bank. What I am going to be doing at the phone bank is calling people to remind people to vote. Specifically, asking individuals to vote for certain politicians. Yes, I am volunteering for a particular political party which I won’t disclose due to not wanting to start a political battle on my blog. I just feel like this years mid term elections are extremely import this year. More so than any other mid term election.

After I am done volunteering at the political phone bank I am going to my local mental health agency to not only see my therapist but attend a communications group. I would have saw my therapist today but I slept most of the day due to being in the emergency room all night last night and needed the sleep. Since I am going to be going to see my therapist tomorrow I might as well as attend a new group on healthy communication. I figure that I can always learn something new about communication as I don’t communicate very well at times. So, I’ll be seeing my therapist and attending group therapy.

After attending group and seeing my therapist I will be going out to dinner with some from friends. We are not sure where we are going yet. We just know we are not going to Red Robin even though I would prefer to go to Red Robin.  All I know is I am looking forward to spending time with friends while enjoying some good food.

After a semi early dinner with friends, I will be going to a work training tomorrow evening. I am looking forward to the training as the training is something I haven’t really learned about in previous work training’s at previous employers. The one thing I need to do is look at my work email tomorrow morning so I am all caught up on work related stuff. I am looking forward to the training.

Now that I have informed you on what I am going to do tomorrow, Wednesday, I want to kindly remind you of something which I have already done recently. That reminder is that I have advertisements on my blog. I have those advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money even if it is a few extra cents. Every times someone clicks an advertisement (and lets it fully load), I can earn as little as a few cents or as much as a couple of dollars. I know it doesn’t sound like much but each penny counts.  It will help buy gift for family and friends for the upcoming holiday season despite what holiday they celebrate. So please do this blogger a good thing so I can give gifts to those who love and care about me. It would mean a great deal to me if you are able to click on an ad once or twice a week if not more.

Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that I have people who read my blog. You all mean the world to me. So thank you for reading my blog again. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Is It Too Much To Ask For Some Sleep

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I did manage to get about an hour worth of sleep in before my cat, Lil Gertie, woke me up from a nightmare. She either licks my nose or one of my big toes to wake me up from a nightmare. Yes, any part of a nightmare sucks, I am just happy that Lil Gertie, is insistent in waking me up from one especially at the beginning, I never taught her to do this as I have only had her for five months today and she is about six and a half years old.

So when I got up, I decided to work on one of my workbooks. I find it helpful to work on one of my workbooks as it puts me into a better state of mind. A recovery state of mind. I am working on one that focuses on recovery related to mental health challenges. It is nothing new to me as I have been a part of the recovery movement for awhile now, it is just helpful as a reminder to myself on where I want to be in life.

Okay on to the last bit of the post which I a sure many of you are sick of hearing about. I have advertisements on my blog to help bring in extra cash for me to spend on people for gifts during the holidays. I started doing this before I got my new job but I am going to continue to do it as my new job is an on call job and don’t know how many hours I will be getting once I am done with all the training’s I have to attend to. So I guess what I am asking is that you my reader click on an add or two, once or twice a week to help me bring in extra cash to help pay for gift for friends and family for the holidays as well as bills for the rest of the year.

I am going to attempt to go back to sleep now that it is four o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I hope everyone has a good night sleep or has had a good night sleep. I also hope everyone has good Saturday and weekend. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Have a wonderful day with whatever you do. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Thursday Evening Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! First things first, I finally got some rest today. I was able to take a nap. I took a five hour nap which is a miracle for multiple reason. One, I rarely am able to take a nap. Secondly, sleeping for five hours for me even when it’s at night is an extreme rarity. So, I am thrilled that I was able to sleep and am grateful it was for so long. I do worry that I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to such a long nap.

I did let my work know today via email that I have a disability and that I will need accommodations. I informed them of two accommodations right off the bat in the email and informed them I will let them know of the other accommodations I will need or willing to work out with them by then end of next week. My supervisor’s supervisor thanked me for let me know and keep him informed and if any other accommodations come up the longer I work there don’t hesitate to inform the appropriate people who will be in the need to know category.  It feels like I am very supported at my new job.

Even though I have had an overall good day, with a positive email from work regarding disability accommodations and a five hour nap, I still have self harm urges. Self harm urges that I wish weren’t so strong at the moment. (Side Note: I will not self harm as I already have a safety plan in place and have talked with a crisis work on whom I can call back if needed.) Having self harm urges when things appear to be going well are quite annoying. Hell, even when things aren’t going well self harm urges are annoying.

I think after I am done posting this post that I will binge watch some television on Netflix or Hulu. Not sure what shows, I will binge watch but it will be a great way to vedge out for a few hours especially if I am unable to sleep tonight.

As a quick reminder to you all, I have advertisements on my blog. The advertisements are meant for me to earn a few extra cents to dollars a month. The way I earn the money is if you my reader click on the advertisement. I would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you could click on an advertisement or two once a week if you feel like helping a fellow blogger out. I am trying to earn extra money to buy gifts for friends and family for the upcoming holidays.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Long Tiring Wednesday

Hello, World!!! I am tired as hell. It is ten thirty at night in my neck of the wood and have been awake for over 36 hours now. I do not know why I haven’t been able to sleep but I have attempted to do so. I tried taking a nap today as I had to go to work this evening.

I had to go to work this evening for a training. A training on de-escalation. I personally could have facilitated this training because I have been to multiple de-escalation training’s due my previous job as a peer specialist.

Besides going to a work training this evening and attempting to take a nap or two, I have been taking it easy. I have been spending a great deal of time with Lil Gertie, my cat as she appears she is getting more affectionate as time goes on as she realizes that this is her forever home. Her intuition about my needs is getting stronger as well. Her intuition about my needs were good from the start, they are just getting better and more finely tuned.

I have also spent the day reading Wonder Woman comic books. Reading Wonder Woman comic books has been giving me the personal strength I have needed the last few days and over the years.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope all of you have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been a Busy Couple of Weeks

Hello, World!!! It has been almost two weeks since I last posted. I have been busy with a lot of things lately especially job related. I’ve done my three shadowing shifts that I needed to do. In fact it is suppose to be six shadowing shifts however everyone I shadowed informed my supervisor that I don’t need all six shadowing shifts. I still have other training’s I need to do as part of my job. Despite having to do more training’s for work, I still yet to be called to do a shift for someone as I am an on call shelter counselor.

On top of work stuff I have been volunteering at the Warm Line as well as a group facilitator at a peer run agency. Not only am volunteering two places and working I am also volunteering for two local politicians. I am the annoying person who calls you to remind you to vote and to endorse the candidate I am volunteering for. So, yes, I am getting more involved with politics this year. I loved it the last time I did it and have decided to do this year.

I have also been going to doctors appointments every two weeks. This is to help me not go to the emergency room for minor health issues as well as mental health stuff. It appears to be working a great deal as it is keeping me from going to the emergency room for minor health issues.

On top of seeing my regular doctor every two weeks, I am seeing my therapist twice a week.  He is doing this to help me stay out of the emergency room as well the extra support I need right now in regards to my new job. My therapist is amazing. He is just as amazing as Gilbert and Diana were.

Thank you for reading. I hope to be more vigilant when it comes to blogging on the more regular basis. I am grateful for all of you who read my blog regularly. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace out, world!!!

Sleepy Sunday Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! I meant to blog yesterday about my first shift as a shelter counselor however I slept most of the day due to my shift being twelve hours at night. I was planning on doing it last night but I was still a little groggy from working and trying to take in my first shift and couldn’t find the words to write about my first shift. I still can’t find the right words for my first shift. I could have attempted to post about my first shift sometime during the middle of the night as I didn’t sleep on purpose so I can sleep today as I work tonight.

As I sit here blogging I am watching the morning news as I wait for my sleeping meds to kick in. I just want to get enough sleep today so my shift doesn’t go as slow as it did Friday night going into Saturday as I didn’t sleep at all on Friday. I am not sure if watching the news is the greatest idea before going to bed as the news can be quite triggering to fall asleep. The news can trigger my PTSD which could cause no sleep at all.

Before I go, I want to remind everyone who reads my blog that I have advertisements on it so I can earn some extra money. The only way I can earn extra money from the advertisements is if you my reader click onto the advertisement. Each click of the advertisements gives me a few extra cents to my name. The extra money I earn from the advertisements will help me pay for gifts when the holidays come up in December. So I hope you click on the advertisements so I can earn a few extra cents so I am able to buy gifts for people to give to people during the holidays.

I should get going and try to relax so I can get to sleep so I can function at work tonight when I do a twelve hour night shift. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I hope to blog before going to work tonight but no promises. I also hope to attempt to blog tomorrow about my job but I don’t know how tired I will be.

I hope everyone has a good restful Sunday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Getting Ready For My First Shift

Good Evening, World!!! I start my first shift as an on call shelter counselor tonight. I will be doing a shadowing shift tonight. I am nervous about it because it is a twelve hour shift at night. I am also having anxiety over it because I have had much sleep today.

In all honesty I am having more anxiety over when my second shift is going to be due to me not knowing when it is going to be happening. According to my supervisor I need to do three shadowing shifts counting the one I am doing tonight. We briefly discussed it the past Monday (October 1st) but never confirmed the days. I just don’t want to miss a shift and get into trouble for not attending a shift. I did email my supervisor both yesterday as well as today. In fact my last email to my supervisor was less than a half an hour ago.  I think I’ll text and/or email him tomorrow after my shift to inform him how it we and to ask about my next shift once again.

I know I am having anxiety over something I cannot control. I just want to make sure the next time I work that I get enough sleep especially since my shifts our twelve hours long and at night. I am sure my supervisor will let me know in time when my second shift will be so I can get enough sleep.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to let you know more about my shift at some point tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday to each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Hump Day Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! Happy Hump (Wednesday) Day!!! I woke up extremely early this morning due to a fucking nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have attempted many times since waking up to post but am finally in a space to be able to do so.

Just like this morning, I didn’t have a good morning yesterday. In fact my day yesterday (Tuesday) was shitty. I woke up yesterday with strong urges to self harm which I did NOT act on. I thankfully had an appointment my doctor and I was noticeably upset which is rare for my doctor to witness. We discussed the issues of self harm and did a safety plan before we called my therapist. Surprisingly, he picked up and the three of us talked. We decided that I would go see my therapist yesterday for an unexpected session.

When I attended my unexpected session yesterday, my therapist and I spent an hour and a half talking about what the hell was going on with me. We discussed self harm issues of course.  We also discussed how a combination of the grief with my grandma and the stress of starting a new job which could be causing the high urges to self harm. During our unexpected session yesterday we both agreed that me coming in today for my regularly scheduled appointment would be very much needed.

So, when I woke up this morning with a nightmare, I also woke up feeling suicidal and having urges to self harm. So that is when I called the after hours crisis line I am able to call when I am in a crisis. As I talked with the woman on the other end who knows me well, we discussed ways to keep myself safe till I see my therapist later this morning. So, yes, I can keep myself safe till I talk with my therapist and come up with another safety plan with him during our appointment.

Another thing that is keeping me from self harm and dying by suicide is that I have a training I need to be at for work this evening. So, working is actually helping me with keeping myself safe from myself.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I am grateful for all of you because you read my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

(SIDE NOTE: I will NOT attempt to die by suicide and I will NOT harm myself.)

Friday Night Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Friday to everyone out there reading my blog. It is hard to believe that I will have my first shift a week from today. I am looking forward to it. The one thing that I am not looking forward to this next week is all the orientations I have to attend. In fact I have about twelve orientations I have to do within the first sixty days of employment. I am having some high anxiety over the new job but I am looking forward to it at the same time.

As much as I would like to blame the lack of sleep as of lately due to new job jitters, it is not the case. I haven’t been sleeping very well as of lately. In fact worse than usual for me. Enough for my psychiatric nurse practitioner and regular doctor to consider putting me in a sleep study.

I am not sure about the sleep study but I think I am going to call it a night even though it is only eight thirty in the evening in my corner of the world. Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I did end up getting some sleep last night. I got about three hours even though it is still not enough sleep, I will take any sleep I can. I hope the sleeping med situation with my insurance company is taken care of soon.

I don’t have anything planned for today. It is a see what comes up type of day. I do know that I will need to get out of my apartment at some point because if I don’t it might turn into one of them days. I don’t know why it feels like but it does.

I am excited about my new job even though I don’t know when my first shift will be. I hope it is soon. I am not sure if I like everything about it. The reason why is because it is at night and is a twelve hour shift. But the thing about it is, is that it is only one to two days a week.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I appreciate everyone who reads my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Again, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!