Tag Archives: Hope

Friday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I think about my week I can’t help but think about my friend who get fired yesterday at one of the agencies I interviewed for. In fact the job my friend got fired from is one I want as it is a part time position. In all honesty, part time work will be a better fit for me than a full time position. The problem is that if this agency offers me the part time position, I’ll feel bad for taking it. I also know this friend would be okay with it.

Right now, I am dealing with a great deal of PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that aren’t helping me with fighting off some dissociation. One of the signs I’m about to dissociate is the feeling of me being a scared young child. This is when I start playing with the toys I have. I usually play with my Hot Wheels, Play Doh, Legos, coloring, and stuffed animals.

Something that I did this morning to help not dissociate is make myself breakfast. I made myself French Toast, scrambled eggs and some tea. As I ate, I read the news paper. The newspaper had the typical bad news but also had stuff about the Winter Olympics. The Olympics is a refreshing part of the news.

Thank you for reading about my ramblings. I hope everyone has a good day. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far today has been a good day. The interview I had today went really well. I’m on what they call “the short list” and it is with my former employer. I so want to go back work especially with my former employer.

One of the questions I was asked both yesterday and today was about what I did for self care. I told them I loved to do art. Specifically, painting, collaging, and coloring. I should them one of my haiku poem collages and they were impressed.

I also informed them that I love to read. I was asked today who my favorite author is and favorite genre. I said Orson Scott Card and it is a tie between Sci Fi, Fantasy and Mystery. I think that helped break the ice a little today.

I told the interviewers in both interviews that I start and end the day with a mindfulness and/or meditation practice. I told them that it helps me stay focused and helps me remain calm throughout the day. Hell, it helps me sleep.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated on my end. Happy Hump Day and Peace Out World!!!

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hump Day, World!!! It’s Wednesday and I am looking forward to today. Lets start with what I will be doing in a couple of hours. I will be going to an interview at my former employer. I know one of the individuals interviewing me as we’ve attended all staff meetings and staff holiday parties. In fact this individual reached out to me to apply and interview. So, I’m a bit excited and anxious since I was the one who was reached out to regarding the job. It is a peer specialist job not with the same team. I’ll be interviewing for their crisis program. So, working with individuals will be challenging however I am up for the challenge.

I had a challenging night of sleep. Not because I was having issue with insomnia but because someone kept pulling the fire alarm. They found out who kept pulling it and well the person ended up going to the Emergency Room to get a psych evaluation. The individual has been having some issues with their mental health so I think it was wise that the police took them to the hospital.

My own mental health is improving which is a great thing. I’m feeling hopeful and am grateful for this emotion. I am relieved that things are starting to get better.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Tuesday Afternoon, Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I had my interview this morning. They were already running late at 8:30 in the morning but considering what I witnessed in the waiting room I understood. The interviewers were “impressed” how I handled the client crisis and helped with the other clients in the waiting room. I asked the other clients what music they liked and started playing music suggestions from my phone.  I was informed that it helped the need to deal with the crisis at hand without creating a bigger one. I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm for me. I was just doing what was needed at the time. In the interview they asked what ways I would handle a client in crisis in a treatment room. I said I would have art supplies available at hand. Again, I impressed them and wasn’t attempting to do so.

When I got home from the interview I turned on some music and did some art. Specifically, painting about recovery. Like I’ve said in other post, art helps me express my emotions and I must be feeling hopeful.

Thank you for reading. Have a great rest of the day. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

It Takes Courage to Follow Your Own Path

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning!!! I sit here at my laptop this morning figuring out how it takes courage to follow my own path. Part of why I am thinking about this is because of my interview today as well as tomorrow.

As many of you know my path includes getting back into working as a Peer Specialist. If the interviews don’t work out into getting jobs, I plan on going back to school. Going to school to get an Associates of Applied Science in Social and Human Services and then a Bachelors in Applied Behavior Science at a local community colleges. While getting an education I plan on continuing to volunteer.

Another thing I am planning on doing weather I’m working or going to school is to set up art shows displaying art that consumers do at conferences that are Peer and/or Behavioral Health and/or Legislative related. This is to help show that no matter if one has a job or not we can live productive lives through art.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work & Education

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been thinking about my future and what I want to do. Yes, I want to go back to work and plan on doing so when the opportunity  arises to do so. I’m wanting to go back to school to get an Associates and Bachelors degree at a local community college. The Associates would be in Social and Human services and the Bachelors would be in Applied Behavior Science. Both which would help me advance in my career.

I saw Gilbert today and we discussed the about education and work. He likes the idea that I am being future oriented. He also likes the fact that my depression symptoms are improving. He also talked about the hope I have with how things are going at the moment.

Thank you for reading. Peace out World!!!

Photo 1; Day 4: Bliss

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s topic was a little more difficult to do as I already talked about what gives me bliss and that is water. So I decided I would show you my tattoos again and what they mean to me.

1030151853The above picture is that of my semi-colon tattoo. For those who are site impaired it has a black out line and filled in with purple. It is on my inner wrist. I got this tattoo as reminder on how far I have come in my recovery and on what NOT to do when things get tough. That is to self-harm and/or attempt suicide.

IMG_0001The above picture is that of a tattoo of a butterfly. Its a doily, lacey type looking butterfly that is black outlined and no color. It is on my upper arm/shoulder and the butterfly resembles hope for me. It reminds me that through the darkness the butterfly goes through as caterpillar there becomes a beautiful being of a butterfly. So it resembles beauty through the darkness and hope.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Last 9 Seconds

Posted on by Gertie

I literally only watched the last 9 seconds of the game. And well the Eagles one. Never underestimate the underdog. The Patriots looked disappointed however from the last nine seconds I saw, they didn’t work all that hard to make sure they got the ball. Eagles worked their asses of in the last nine second to make sure the Patriots didn’t get the ball. So from what I saw Eagles deserve the win and got the win. Never underestimate the power of the underdog. Thank you EAGLES from the Seahawk and 49ers fan!!!

I can relate todays win by the Eagles to my life. I’ve always been the underdog and underestimated throughout my life due to multiple disabilities as well as mental health challenges. If it weren’t for those who believed in me as well as music, I wouldn’t be here today blogging. So, just like the Eagles, I’m going to be a winner in life.

Thank you for reading. Have a good rest of your weekend and Peace Out, World!!!

Life, The Challenges & Silver Linings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Its been a tough week for my family. My grandma is going into hospice care and we are attempting the best we can to keep it together for her. My grandma is a strong woman. She keeps giving me “talks” to make sure I go to my job interviews next week.

I am looking forward the possibility of going back to work. I’ve been missing being able to go to work. I really think being able to go to work helps with my mental health or at least the structure that goes with it. Being out of work has you think how much structure one must have to be able to not get so depressed or at least that is how it is for me. Work also gives me the social aspect of life. So for me work helps a great deal with a multiple of things in my life.

Life brings the bad and the good. Sometimes at the same time like at the moment. As life continues I am looking at the silver lining in things. Its difficult at time however it is possible. Yes, I am being realistic about my grandma however I know she wants me to look at the silver lining.

Thank you the reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Unproductive Day & Unable to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

    IMG_0254

Hello, World!!! I’ve been unproductive today and unable to sleep. Or at least I feel like I’ve been unproductive despite the things I’ve done today. The picture above is one of the many things I’ve done today. I may not be finished with it but I say I was successful with my art today since I started the picture today.

Another thing I did was read. I read the book I’ve been reading for a while and am still enjoying the book a great deal. Below is a what I am reading.

IMG_0244

Another thing I did was watch a handful of TedTalks. I watched some on race as well as those who live with autism. Here are my notes on two of them. One is about Autism and the other about race.

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds

  • Autism is a continuum
  • To understand Autism is to think pictures.
  • Visual learning is key
  • Pattern Thinkers: Music and math minds
  • Verbal minds: Poor at drawing.
  • Photo Realistic Thinks: Poor at Algebra
  • Autistics tend to be fixated on one certain  thing

Color Blind or Color Brave

  • Race is a risky topic to talk about
  • The first step in taking action is awareness
  • Racial discrimination is bad for business
  • Color blindness means ignoring the problem
  • We have to be “color brave” by being willing to have open discussions about race.
  • Observe your environment
  • Speak up

Thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!